The Voice Of Truth

"Oh what I would do to have
the kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant!
With just a sling and a stone.
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor, 

wishing they'd have had the strength to stand.

... the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground.
And the waves they don't seem so high,
from on top of them looking down.
I'll soar with the wings of eagles,
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me.

And the Voice of Truth tells me a different story.

The Voice of Truth says, 'Do not be afraid!'

The Voice of Truth says, 'This is for My glory.'

Out of all the voices calling out to me,

I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth."

Random photos from the past two months.

Today I overheard bits of a conversation between Aron, Simon, and Joy's mom and another co-worker (she works as a cook at the restaurant) and how sad and discouraged she is about Simon. I saw Mrs. Renae briefly when she came to pick up her youngest daughter from the academy this afternoon. And I saw 'my brown-eyed boy' when he came to pick up his two younger brothers.

On the way back to the house after leaving town, I cried harder than I've cried since all that heartbreak last year. Simon and 'my brown-eyed boy' - how far away they've gone from the Lord and from those who love them! Dear God! Only You can get hold of them, get their attention, or bring them back now!

I've gotten in the habit of turning on the radio on my drives to and from town, and this song ("The Voice of Truth") came on the station. It was just the comfort and reminder I needed. He is in control! He has my boys! He has Mrs. Renae! And He is working it all out for His glory.

Recent Happenings No. 4

Randomness. Mmhmm, that's me. Squirrel!
This post is the past month in a nutshell. More detailed posts on each event will (hopefully; eventually) come. But until I get time ("time"? What is that again?) to do the type of more detailed posts I want, this will suffice to keep anyone interested at least somewhat up-to-date on my life of late. And boy, it's seemed like a lifetime in a month...


January began with a bang and never seemed to slow down. The sixth through the tenth, Trissy and I were gone on a church mission/service trip to a neighboring state, to do manual labor at a children's home and ranch. Victory Rd. took a group last January, and we went, and I knew I wanted to go back. The group this year consisted of the three youngest S. kids (Law, Abigail, and Piper), Joy, Autumn, Trissy and me, and four other men and women of the church. Landon met us there for part of the time, and it was so good to spend some time with him! Oliver and his wife were on a trip, so we didn't see them this time.
We helped rip up flooring in two of the houses/doorms, we moved furniture and other belongings - from the houses that were going to be renovated, into the new houses - we did a thorough 'spring cleaning' job, etc. But there was relaxing time also, in the early mornings, on breaks, and in the evenings at the cabin. Pumpkin spice muffins, Mtn. Dew, endless games of "Egyptian Rat Race" and "Taboo" (with our own adjusted rules to fit our mood and number of players :) ), times of S.O.A.P. journaling and sharing, and lots of just talking and enjoying each other's company.
It was the first trip without Bro. Mike. And it was different.
Randomness and other lessons to remember from this trip:
1. Overhearing the 'Only-Christian-music-for-30-days-challenge' discussion on the Sunday afternoon ride over - what a blessing!
2. Games with Trissy, Joy, Abigail, and Piper, and Abigail and Piper doing "John-Jacob-Jingleheimer-Smith" (song and 'introduction') on the trip over.
3. Epic Taboo games Monday night, including a sibling-set against sibling-set (Law and Piper vs. Trissy and me), with the others coming and going.
4. Personal thought, "I hate it when I let other people throw me into inner turmoil. Christ is all that matters. Why can’t I be content?!"
5. "I feel like pulling stuff up and stomping on things." -Piper, expressing her enthusiasm about our demolition work Tuesday.
6. Going to church Wednesday night where Landon attends. Encouraging, old-fashioned sermon where the preacher used alot of scripture and didn't apologize about having his audience use their Bibles so much.
7. Personal thought, "You haven't got to follow the crowd. Make up your OWN mind."
8. Personal thought, "That great moment when God shows you how He's been working in the life of someone you've been praying for - indescribable."
9. Joy, Abigail, Piper, Trissy and me and our late-night hilarious game of Taboo while Joy was giving hair-curls.
10. "Look at that lil' baby foot!" -Law, on Autumn's fist 'footprint' in the condensation on the bus window.
11. Sitting curled up on the couch in front of the fire with Piper and Trissy and Joy, telling each other random things and stories about ourselves.
12. The "I'm Thinking Of A Man/Woman/Place In The Bible" game on the way back Thursday.


After getting back into town Thursday evening from the mission trip, I left about noon Friday going with the youth music group to a near-by state to play for a week-end camp sponsored by the church The Grandparents are part of. Justice went as our driver, since he was on the insurance to drive Victory Rd.'s 15-passenger bus, and simply because anything Austin and Archer are part of just isn't complete without Justice :) . Justice, Archer, Julia, Simon and I went on the bus, pulling the trailer with all the instruments and equipment about noon. Austin and Law couldn't get off work until about 3:00, so they were going to come together when they got off. Ava and Noel went also, since their husbands were going :) , but Ava didn't get off work until later in the evening, so Noel stayed in town and rode with her so she wouldn't be driving alone.

It was a really great week-end. Opportunities to share times of praise with other believers, encourage those listening, and be encouraged ourselves by the warmth and enthusiasm of our audience. Times of bonding - the eight of us. Bitter-sweet times - knowing this was Archer's last 'act of leadership' as head of the group, knowing Justice and Noel are looking for the Lord's next place of service for them and may be moving on soon as well. Times of fun - pretend 'zombie' invasions and escapes, music practice and practice and practice, 'the girls' (Noel and Ava) hunting up a gas station to sooth the boys' Mtn. Dew withdrawals and my longing for something healthy to eat, Simon and Law's (and Justice's) bunk-room acrobatics during free time while the rest of us tried to catch up on some much-needed rest, supper at 'Maria's' Mexican restaurant (that took longer to be served than to eat) and mean jokes (meant more to tease me and raise my protest than anything else) on the way back Saturday night. Precious, priceless, blessed memories.


The next day, Sunday, was Bro. Mike and his family's last Sunday at Victory Rd. before leaving as missionaries to the Philippines, and he'd asked that our group do the music service so he could see and hear us one last time. It would actually be the whole church's last time to witness our group lead the music - Archer would be moving the next day to the university. Dear Austin's charge to us as we gathered to pray before the service began: "Let's play our hearts out. This is for Bro. Mike and for Archer." And we did. For our God - Who is our Reason for everything - for our youth pastor - who had poured his spirit into loving and guiding us - and for our friend - our brother.

I don't think I'll ever forget this weekend. One of the most bitter-sweet of my life. I pray I won't.


The next Wednesday night was my turn to teach the lesson with the middle-schoolers. And Bro. Mike's family's last day here. Lots of church folks hung around after the classes were over, exchanging last-minute conversations and telling them good-bye. Trissy and I went next door to their house and visited a while after everyone else had left. They would be going to the airport about 2:00 A.M., so were not planning on going to bed, and it was just so hard to finally say good-bye. I wouldn't let myself think about it being any other than a normal Wednesday night 'bye until after we left.
Separations are hard, but I'm thankful too - I know both Bro. Mike and his wife have been wanting to do mission work, and now the Lord has opened up the way for them to, and for Camille to go with them. That's a whole nother amazing story!
I'm looking forward to hearing about the adventures this new chapter holds for their lives.


Friday (the 18th), two days later, Victory Rd.'s youth group (including Trissy and me) went to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee for the Strength To Stand week-end youth conference. I must admit, by this time I was so tired both in body and in mind that I almost didn't want to go. I had looked forward to it for months, but then found out that several of our college group and closest friends (not to mention Bro. Mike) weren't going to get to go. And with all the good-byes I'd been having to say the past few weeks, I almost had a "What's the point?" mentality. Which is not like me. I don't 'give up', and I hate defeat. I'm telling you, I was just worn out. And it was catching up with me. But then a thought came to mind: Why was I going on this trip in the first place? Was it because I wanted to be close to people, or because I wanted to grow closer to the Lord? Got my attention and kinda helped put things in perspective. Then the day we left, I saw something that one of the teenagers had written concerning their feelings about the trip: 'About to head out to Tennessee... don't want to go. But, I might as well go with an open heart.' I don't know why they didn't want to go, but what a great attitude! I was so encouraged, and resolved to go with my heart open to what the Lord might do in and for me on the trip.
I was not disappointed. In fact, I fell in love all over again with the pure goodness of God. Three sound, timely sermons from thought-provoking preachers; music - some of which I didn't care for - but plenty that lifted me up and carried me away with it's beauty and spiritual richness; fun and joking and camaraderie I enjoyed with a variety of the members of the group; Bro. Nick, the new youth pastor, bravely and successfully learning to captain the 'youth group ship' through the unpredictable waves of our crazy personalities; wholesome mixture of friendships and interaction between older youth and younger youth, adults and youth, newcomers and established 'regulars', etc.; merry chaos as the sounds and activities of almost 40 people filled the cabin we stayed in, and peaceful quiet (in which you could hear the clock ticking on the mantle) as those same nearly 40 people spent personal time in Bible study and prayer.


So, that's January in a nutshell. I have one more thing to tell about that would still be "this past month", though it was yesterday, the 3rd of February. But it's late and I'm in the living room typing and my mom will be up in a few minutes wondering why on earth I'm not in bed yet :) . So I'll save it for later. I'll end with a small thing that provoked big thoughts for me today.


I'm reading Jules Verne's "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea" for the first time. With my love of adventure and reading, especially the good old 'classics', you'd think I'd have read that one by now. But I recently 'discovered' the little library at VRCA and have started taking advantage of it. I just finished chapter 20 - "The Gulf Stream" - and the account of the cyclone. As I put the book down, I thought about "storms", both physical and spiritual. At times, I've found myself subconsciously wishing I could know how my strength would hold up during a real storm. One must be careful what one wishes for, even subconsciously. This past summer (the pain of Mrs. Renae's family leaving Victory Rd. and the withdrawal, so to speak, of Bro. Dennis's family), and this past month (the departure of Bro. Mike's family and of Archer, and the possibility of Justice and Noel, and Austin and Ava moving on also) seemed almost to have been samples - tests of strength the Lord allowed to give me an idea; to try my courage. I was/have been appalled at my lack of resilience in the face of these losses. If it hadn't been for the presence and encouragement of others, would I have held up at all? All these thoughts passed through my head in only a moment, but as I asked this last question, immediately in response came a quiet Whisper in my heart, "Don't worry about that 'what if'. There will always be someone...something. I will never leave you alone." And right away a verse came to mind from Psalm 34 that I'd randomly read this morning: "Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all."

SOLI DEO GLORIA!

"Hallelujah, For All You've Done"

What a hard, wonderful, tortuous morning.
Thursday Bro. Mike and his family will leave for their new roles as over-seas missionaries. Since this was his last Sunday, he asked if our youth music group would lead the music service this morning so he could see and hear us together one more time.
It was also our last time to play together as the group we are - Austin, Archer, Julia, Simon, Law, and me. This is Archer's last week-end home before leaving for university this week.


I took my little camera, two memory cards, and my tripod, and set it up to try to video this bit of our history. I was going to get Trissy to run it, but Ava saw me setting up and offered to do it, since she sits closer to the front than my family does, and might could get a better/closer video. Sweet Ava. I gladly accepted.

As Sunday School was letting out and people were beginning to fill up the auditorium, Austin, me, Archer, Law, and Simon (Julia had gone to get or do something, I don't remember what) gathered in a little circle over in the left-hand corner of the stage before the service began. Before having prayer together as we always try to do before we play, dear Austin spoke to us for a moment, charging us with the importance of what we were fixing to do. Not only were we to play, as is always the goal, for the glory of our God, but today we were also honoring Bro. Mike, who'd stood by us and poured so much of himself into the youth of the church, and Archer who, with Austin, had co-led the group and who'd been with us so long and who now was moving on. This would be our last time to play together. "This is for Bro. Mike and Archer. Let's play our hearts out."
And I think we did.

The songs we did were a reflection of our history together - perhaps unintentionally, but I noticed it later - and fitting for the occasion. 
"I Saw The Light", a wonderful toe-tapping spiritual,
"For All You've Done", praising the Lord for His goodness and kindness,
"Beneath The Waters", proclaiming our faith in God and telling the story of our salvation,
"10,000 Reasons", praising God for His goodness in the past and asking for His grace to serve Him in the future, and the
"Revelation Song", simply worshiping our awesome Lord. Also, Austin had sung the "Revelation Song" on the Sunday before he left for an almost-year-long mission trip in a dangerous over-seas country, three and a half years ago. This is the Sunday before Bro. Mike's family leaves for an over-seas mission field.
For the 'invitation song' after Bro. Earl preached, we did
"Sometimes", which is simply a cry from a weak human heart, admitting fear, yet expressing a joyful abandon to the whirlwind of God's plans. One of the lines is "Where You go, we will follow, oh, God send me!". Pretty fitting I thought.
For the 'leaving song' as some of them call it (when the service has been dismissed, and the musicians just play a little bit as people begin leaving or milling around talking to each other), we did one that some of us really like and others of us really don't, but it sounds good and it's fun to play :) .

So, a variety of our favorites, gathered from our months together, and a last tribute to those who've encouraged us, to each other, and to God Who put us together and blessed us with this time of our lives.

Austin had said, "Let's play our hearts out. This is for Bro. Mike and Archer." And Archer, in his characteristic mix of kindness and matter-of-fact cheekiness, stated, "But for Jesus mostly."

Amen. Always.

Looking Forward

I must confess, in many respects I am not looking forward to January. In fact, I'm dreading it. The new year is expected to bring many changes. And not all of them are happy ones.
I don't like change anyway. At least not to a large extent. I like things to get comfortable - and stay that way.
A few things this January is bringing that I am not looking forward to:

(1) Bro. Mike and his wife and Camille leaving as missionaries to the Philippines.
(2) A new youth pastor and his family coming to take Bro. Mike's family's place.
(3) Justice and Noel (who'd applied to fill Bro. Mike's position but were not chosen) possibly moving to the 'big city' a few hours north to be over the youth ministry at a church there.
(4) Archer leaving the youth music group to go to college an hour away, and therefore also
(5) The beginning of the disintegration of the youth music group as it is now: Austin, Archer, me, Julia, Simon, and Law.

A few things this January is bringing that I am looking forward to:

(1) Another church mission trip to the children's home and ranch in a neighboring state.
(2) A week-end retreat/youth conference led by the church The Grandparents attend. The youth pastor has asked our youth music group to be the music leaders for it.
(3) The Strength to Stand conference in Tennessee.

Besides these things, I have a mild but uncharacteristic fear when I think of the coming year. So much has changed this past year that I so completely did not see coming. Good and bad.
I have an indomitable hope that the new year will bring the kind of change that will move us as a church back to the blessed ground we stood on at the beginning of 2012, and even move us higher! For that is the goal - higher, always higher; in service for the Lord and growth in His ways.
The struggles and losses and heartbreak of this past summer, especially coming after the soaring gladnesses that there had been... I shudder when I look mentally at the mountain that is before us, taunting us to try to overcome. Us as a church. Us as individuals.


Where are we going? Will we be strong in the face of discouragement or worse? What does 2013 bring us? When Dec. 31, 2013 comes and we turn to look at the past year for the last time, will we see loss or gain? Victory or defeat? Tears of joy or tears of sadness? Black clouds or bright sunlight?
And so I fight my battle against worry. Against fear.

I am afraid. I am hopeful, but I am afraid. Is it wrong to admit it? I don't think so. For I know in Whom I trust. I know my Lord has it all planned out, and nothing that happens, or doesn't, is outside of His doing and control.

God help us be true!

"5 Small Things Friday" No. 59

Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".

For this week, here is my list:

1. Sight:

2. Hearing: Simon And Law / Piper: "It's 'Pepper'! Get it right Joy!"

3. Smell: Shoe Polish

4. Taste: Ham Sandwich

5. Touch:

The stories behind the list:

1.

2. I tell about listening to Simon and Law practicing Tuesday night in THIS post.
/
On the Chicago mission trip, for some reason I adopted "Pepper" as a nickname for Piper, and still call her that every once in a while. And though I don't think she particularly cared for it at first, Wednesday night when I called her that, Joy overheard, but misunderstood. So in a few minutes, Joy said something to Piper, but called her "Popper", and Piper - rolling her eyes with that unique teasing bossiness - came right back at her, "It's 'Pepper'! Get it right Joy!"
It was absolutely hilarious!

3. Thursday we (The Grandparents, Mom, Trissy, and me) went to the northern part of the state to a Bible conference. Our family goes way back with alot of the folks who go to it every year, and we always look forward to it. Wednesday night I was polishing my shoes, getting ready for the next day. The house was quiet - I think everyone else was in bed - and the smell of the polish took me back to memories of Dad and Mom polishing our shoes years ago, getting ready for church on Sunday morning. Besides that, leather shoe polish just seems to have such a wholesome smell somehow.

4. Thursday night on our way back from the conference we ate ham sandwiches in the car that some of the ladies up there had put together real fast for us. The Conference lasts almost all week, and usually the people who go stay in the dorms on the little campus there. But we haven't gotten to do that for several years - since The Grandparents' health has gotten where they need special help. It's just too difficult for them to stay and spend the nights there. So, for the past several years we've just driven the three-or-so hours up one morning and stayed 'til late afternoon, then driven back that same evening. At least we get in on part of it that way!
So the ladies who cook, when they heard we weren't going to be able to stay for supper, went to the kitchen and quickly made us some sandwiches to take with us.
That sandwich was one of the best I've ever had I think. It was made with a wonderful big biscuit and pieces of real ham. We were hungry and tired and disappointed to not be able to stay longer, and that sandwich was just "what the doctor ordered", as the saying goes.

5.

Where I Love To Be

Last night I got to leave work at VRCA a little early, which meant I got to go to the church early before music practice. Simon and Law were already there playing together. We exchanged hellos, and Law told me that Archer said practice would have to start around 6:30 'cause he had to work late. That would give me almost a whole hour to rest and listen. What a treat!

The boys went back to their playing of random bits of song, switching instruments, giving each other advice, and discussing chords and rhythm and such.
After taking off my coat and putting down my things, I found a pen and a piece of paper and wrote:

"It's enough just to be here, sitting in a corner, knowing they don't mind my presence, listening to their voices and their music. I have no idea what they're playing, but I like it."

I dug my current read out of my bag, got my coat (it was pretty cold!), and curled up in the big old recliner at the back of the room.

But I didn't read my book for a while. I reclined the chair, stretched out with my coat over me, and closed my eyes, resting in the softness and listening to their voices and their music. A wonderful deeply satisfying peace was in my heart. Rest and contentment.

Few, if any, places thrill me like my church does. To just be there, even if no one else is, but especially if there are others, is to remember hard and precious lessons, priceless experiences, complete laughter, beautiful faces, joy, tears, praise, love, mercy, hope, and the unbelievable compassion of almighty God. I never tire of that place.

This morning in my devotional reading, I ran onto this verse, and it expresses my spirit quite well:

"One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple." Ps. 27:4

Law And Hope

God is working in Law's life. I've prayed for him so much since D-Now last year, and it seems as if those prayers are beginning to show fruit.

As I mentioned in this post, Simon and Law were at college Bible study Thursday night - the first night of dividing up into the two groups.
The females went to the classroom next door, and the guys stayed in the main room. Evidently the boys had been having a discussion on 'what is considered appropriate behavior in church' (having food in the auditorium, wearing shorts to church, etc.). As we rejoined the guys for our closing group time, Law said, 'Let's ask the girl in a dress, or, skirt.' (I suppose insinuating that someone who was wearing a skirt on a week-day would have a more strict opinion) 'Kyrie, do you think it's okay to wear shorts to church?'

Now, I knew what I wanted to say, and I was pretty certain that that was what he thought I would say. Yet, with all I have been learning in the last three years (at Victory Rd.), and what had been demonstrated to me within the last two weeks (at the church in Chicago), I hesitated a moment before answering. I was also aware that this could be an important moment in my work of building a friendship and trust with this young man. That my answer could affect how (or if) he trusted and/or respected me in the future. Also, obviously (and most importantly), I wanted to give a Biblical answer and one that would please God. So I hesitated. But not for long; my answer came to me pretty quickly and easily:

If all you have to wear is a pair of shorts, and you don't feel like you should come to church because you don't have a suit or a dress to wear, you should come anyway. Your wardrobe limitation should not make you feel inferior and keep you from church. And if you come and people look down on you, they're wrong. If you have clothes on, you should be able to come to church.

Around the room there was a murmuring of agreement, but Law wasn't done:

What if that's not all you had, but you just wanted to wear shorts because you liked them or they were comfortable?
The look on his face was a mixture of friendly daring and serious interest.

I tried to choose my words carefully:

I think it’s good to try to look nice and show respect by wearing your best to church. But if you want to wear shorts to church, that’s between you and God – it’s not for me to say. If your conscience will let you, it’s not for me to tell you what you should do or not do.

He looked thoughtful as Justice and Bro. Mike both made approving comments, but I couldn’t tell what those thoughts were...

Then there was SOAR last week. SOAR is an acronym (I don't remember what the letters stand for) for a big youth conference in Texas. I've never gone, for several reasons which for time's sake I will not detail now, but for a few days (and for various other reasons) entertained the idea of going this year. Randy, Law, Piper, Lela, and Bro. Mike, as well as Simon, Joy, and Abigail were all going as well. I ended up not getting to, and was disappointed; I felt like something big was going to happen, and I would miss out on getting to witness it.

The group was going to be leaving early Monday morning and get back Friday night. Sunday, I tried to seek out the different ones who would be going and wish them a blessed time. I hadn't gotten to tell the S. kids good-bye though, and it was Sunday evening. Trissy and I went out the side door of the church building after services were over (I was needing to get some youth group photos from Bro. Mike I'd told him I could put in albums), and there was their big silver van, with Mrs. S. and Piper in it! Turns out Law had walked over with Simon to Simon's grandparents' house for a little while, and had forgotten to give the key back to Mrs. S. So she had called him, and she and Piper were waiting for him to walk back with it. I got to tell Piper 'bye and stood and chatted with them and Bro. Mike for a few minutes.

After a couple of minutes, I glanced over my shoulder and saw Law walking up the road towards us with the sinking sun behind him turning the colors in it's path into a scene of magical beauty. When he saw me, he started singing this stupid silly song that went back to the Chicago trip

Anyway, when I knew the group was on their way back Friday afternoon, I texted one of the girls that had gone and mentioned that sometime I wanted to hear all about how it went. She replied that she would be glad to tell me, and mentioned a situation involving Simon and Law in a negative light. I was dumbfounded; and heartbroken. After Chicago, I had such hopes that Law was changing - for the better. Now this?

I went around the house in a shock for a few hours, and I'm sure Trissy and Mom must have wondered what in the world was wrong with me.
I prayed and thought, and tried to remind myself that the Lord had the situation firmly in His hands, and that I should wait until the group got back and not jump to conclusions based on one negative remark. But I was still so sad. Why, when I mentioned that I'd like to know how things went at SOAR, was that the first thing the girl thought to tell me? Not, 'the music was uplifting', 'the speakers were passionate', or 'the messages were convicting and inspiring'; just, 'Simon and Law did not behave'. To her, did it stand out so bad as to drown out all the good that might have happened on the trip?

Later that evening, we were going up the road to spend the evening with The Grandparents, and as is my habit frequently, I rode my bicycle. As I pedaled down our little country dirt road, past the pastures and trees that make the beautiful spot where we live, the sun was at that late-afternoon position just before it starts sinking behind the trees; that angle where it's rays are cast almost perfectly horizontal across the landscape. The light was brilliant white gold, and with the direction of the sun's rays, every grass blade was turned into a bright green prism, each flower along the way exploded with brilliant color because of the light behind it, and anything that was not perfectly flat had a precise, sharp-edged silhouette on the ground beside it. It took my breath away. And as I rode along soaking it in, the thought involuntarily passed through my head, "If God can make something this beautiful, He must be trustworthy."
Of course I knew already that He was! But that amazingly beautiful late-afternoon scene was the sweet reminder I needed. The young lady I got the message from may have easily misunderstood the situation; regardless, it's always risky to pass judgement on anyone, or come to a final conclusion, after hearing only one side of a story - and one side was all I had. Almost without realizing it, I found my heart and mind completely at peace.

Sunday was glorious.
Aron was leading the music service that morning, but hadn't gotten enough music printed for all the guitars, so Archer and Law sat in the congregation with their family.

For days - maybe weeks - before this, I had prayed that God would really speak to Law at SOAR.
I watched him from the choir during the music service, then out of the corner of my eye during the sermon.

At one point as Bro. Earl spoke, Law suddenly bent down and took a tissue or two from the box under the pew in front of him, and laid them spread neatly on the pew beside him. I looked at his face, and I could not read it. It was stoic and yet soft, calm but gently disturbed. He blinked his eyes rapidly and he may have had tears, or a speck of dust in them. He could have been expecting to need the tissues to wipe his eyes, or to stifle a sneeze. But he did nothing more with them, other than to move them from his right to his left side on the pew.
I desperately wanted to believe that Something was working in that dear great heart. But I have learned that reading what you want to read on a page can be a dangerous business, for it may not actually be there, and basing your thoughts and actions on what you suppose, can result in grave mistakes.
It was, however, unmistakeably obvious that his usual mannerisms were altered. There was no pencil-twirling, no leaning forward with head down and elbows on knees, no rather glaze-eyed expression, and no resting with face in hand. He looked like a willing student in a class of chosen personal interest.
Oh how my heart ached for him!
Bro. Earl brought the service to a close and Aron got up to lead the final hymn, "His Eye is on the Sparrow". The congregation began singing, and almost before I could believe it, Law was slipping out from between the pews and striding up to Bro. Earl. He wrapped his arms around him as if he was the only standing tree in a tossing flood. Words passed between them, then Law came back and slipped back to his spot.

During the service, in among my sermon notes on the back of the bulletin, were interspersed prayers for Law. At the bottom I'd quoted the first half of Ps. 119:126 - "It is time for Thee, Lord, to work".
Now below that I wrote, "And He is!"

Thursday Night College Bible Study Ups And Downs

Wow. So our Thursday Night College-age Bible Study has been through alot since it's beginning approximately three years ago. Started off a little slow, but then began to pick up momentum, and for a couple of years, it only got better and better as the months went on. We had great victories, times of learning and sharing, and bonding as a group of between fifteen and twenty. We had downs too, times of discouragement and disappointment, but we always grew from it, and the Lord always helped us bounce back; if not in numbers, in quality of friendships and deep learning of Him.
Then last year, for various reasons, a slow slump seemed to start setting in, and at the beginning of this year we began shrinking by leaps and bounds. By last month, it was down to five people.

I've struggled with it quite a bit. More than I've let on to others. I love our Thursday night Bible study. In that class I've learned so much, loved so much, hurt, grown, talked alot, and hopefully listened more. My mind has been opened to concepts I'd never even thought about, though I've been raised on the Bible, and been to church all my life. I feel like my dependence on, love for, and awe of the Lord has increased exponentially because of that class. Not to mention the precious people I've spent this close fellowship with, nearly every week for three years, who have become more dear to me than I can express, though I sometimes try. I mourned to see the group crumbling around the edges. But it was when pieces started dropping out of the core that it broke my heart. Dear Aron, Henley, and also Austin, have been faithfully keeping on, leading us forward, trying to plan with their hope and eyes on future re-invigoration.
But I know they must be discouraged.

In our last couple of meetings a few weeks ago, we decided to change things up a little, and start dividing into two groups (male and female), doing studies specific to each group. So that we could still have the group fellowship and interaction, we'd meet together for the first fifteen or twenty minutes, divide up to do our studies for about an hour, then meet back again for the last fifteen or so minutes and have a group prayer time together.
I honestly had no idea how that would work. I mean, there were five of us. Aron and Henley were hoping the new plan would encourage some of the new high-school seniors and others to start coming, who might be a little intimidated by a group, but would enjoy being part of a smaller just-men or just-ladies group. But though I tried to be hopeful for their sakes, I must admit I was inwardly very skeptical. I'm still not sure about it, but after tonight, I'm definitely encouraged.

After having Bible School three weeks ago, and being in *Illinois for two Thursdays (Bible Study was canceled those days), today I was SO looking forward to being back at Bible Study on a Thursday night, no matter how discouraged I was!
We've been so busy today, and with only a few minutes until we needed to leave for town, I called to Trissy to make sure she was getting ready. She came slowly into my room where I was making a mad dash for my Bible and a hairbrush, and told me she'd decided not to go tonight. All I could think was, "Poor Aron and Henley." But I didn't have time to question her, so I just went on alone. When I got there, the only other vehicle was Aron and Henley's truck, but when I went around the corner of the building, found that door locked, and came back around to go in another one, Justice and Noel's vehicle was there! I was so excited! They hadn't been to Bible Study since they moved back!
I went upstairs to the youth room where we meet, and found not only Aron, Henley, baby Timothy, Justice, and Noel, but also Randy, Law, and Simon!! At first I thought maybe Law and Simon had just been there to play their instruments together for a while, and would leave, but it soon became evident they meant to stay. In just a few minutes, Bro. Mike came in too.
The evening went really well. And this was just the first night trying this new set-up. But to see those new faces, and to have long-absent old members back with us, was a boost and encouragement I cannot describe.

I don't know what the future of the class is, but I believe the Lord can and will still do great things with it. I hope the boys stay, and that some of the other members will come back, and that we can reach out to new ones. But above all, I hope we that are there, will learn more, live richer, and grow deeper in our lives for Christ.

*More on that in another post.

"with my whole heart ... will I sing praise unto Thee."

The Sunday morning after a 5th Sunday, the youth music group leads the music part of the service, for the dual purpose of giving them experience and also to give most of the usual musicians a break (though Austin, Archer, and Law are part of the youth group and the main group, so they play either way). So Austin called for a practice last night.

It would be my first time to play with them for a Sunday morning, so I'd never been at one of those practices and didn't know how one usually went. According to the others, it went much different than usual.

We were going to do five songs, but only had two decided on, so after a brief consultation we selected three others, Austin printed the sheets for everyone, and we got started.
There was the usual guitar tuning, joking, bossing, and generally good-natured carrying on. But the electrical system was acting really crazy and messing up the volumes, Law's cable wouldn't stay plugged in, we had to re-listen to a couple of the longer songs to make sure we were doing them right, it was the end of a long day and we were tired, few of us had eaten supper yet so we were hungry, and lots of other little discouragements and inconveniences kept coming up.
Yet somehow, we had an absolutely amazing time. I think each person commented or told me at some point that it was the longest and most meaningful practice they'd ever had when preparing for a Sunday morning. As Simon said, 'We're not rehearsing, we're practicing.' which I took to mean that we weren't just going through motions we'd learned and that had become all habit and no heart; each one was really putting his or her heart into it, seeming to dedicate himself to doing his best for the glory of the Lord.

We worked hard, fine-tuning until each thing was right, or at least close enough to being right so that it would be easy when we ran through everything one more time Sunday morning before services. And we seemed to have a freedom to worship God with our music that isn't always there when in front of an audience; after all, we weren't playing for anybody... God and Joy were the only ones there to hear us, so we just practiced to Him! It was really a meaningful, sweet time. Helping, encouraging, and challenging one another, and prayerfully begging the Lord to give us hearts that would sing and play only for Him and His glory.

Here's what I jotted down later in my 'Tidbits from Life' journal:
"Practice from 5:00 until past 7:30 - for youth-led music Sun. morn. Hard work, great fellowship, successful practice; the presence of the Holy Spirit was there & we just played for God. I think everyone commented that it had been the longest & the best practice they'd ever had. Sweet time."

How thankful I am for each of these dear young people! Austin, Archer, Julia, Law, and Simon. How blessed I am that the Lord has allowed me the privilege of sharing in their wonderful talents. Oh may we only ever use them for Him!

'Everything...'

I have such a mix of emotions running through me right now. So many random and yet related things have happened the last few days, and I am whirling inside with my feelings about them. Yet, at the same time, I have that indescribable 'peaceful anxiety' Jay Austin talks about on the movie Flywheel. Here are some of my thoughts on everything.

This 30 Hour Famine thing - alot of what I'm feeling I owe to it. It starts this afternoon and there is still so much to do. I wonder if Archer got any sleep at all last night. Poor guy looked like he was just functioning in automatic at Bible study yesterday evening.
This has really been a huge bite for him to chew, but I can see (Trissy mentioned it as well) that he has grown up a little bit more since he took on this project. Lots of responsibility involved, and though he's undoubtedly equal to that, it has still been alot of pressure on him, with school and a job, not to mention wanting to spend time with his family, as well. I've been proud of him - though I'm still not fully sure how I feel about this whole 30 Hour Famine thing, I've been proud to see Archer's character and heart displayed so sweetly, yet with his own signature approach and brand of passion.
I pray that God will use this event to help grow him into the great man of God that he could be, and that it seems he is already well on his way to becoming.
Archer looked so overwhelmed when he left last night from Bible study, Trissy suggested we have prayer for him before we drove away. She prayed the sweetest prayer. All I could have said was, "Dittos" and my prayer would have been just exactly what I wanted to say!

Mom's oldest sister and her husband are also coming to visit today from a couple of states over. They both suffer from poor health and various ailments, so when they get to make the trip, it is quite a treat. The only thing this time is, Trissy and I will only get to see them for a couple of hours before we head to the church for the 30HF, and they leave tomorrow while we'll still be at the church. We didn't even know they hoped to come until a couple of weeks ago, so the schedule clash was unavoidable. We're trying to get ready for them, plus the Famine, not to mention the disappointment of missing most of their rare visit.

I've had four Etsy sales in the last two weeks. I'd only had three sales before that, in the over-a-year that my shop has been set up.

One of the college girls from church who had her (very nice Nikon D3100) camera with her at Strength To Stand, had promised to get me copies of the pictures, but still hadn't. I got to really wanting to see them again earlier this week, so I texted her and she said she'd take the card to church Wednesday night and I could transfer the pictures to my laptop. She forgot, but went back to her house, got the whole camera, and sent it to my class by another girl, so now I've got it at home with me! What's so great, is that she is my 'secret sister/prayer partner' this year at church, and one of the gifts I'd wanted to give her was a camera strap cover. But I had no idea what the measurements of her camera strap were, and had no idea how I could get them without her knowing about it! Now that strap has basically been handed to me to measure on a silver platter.

Yesterday at work, Simon and Joy (his younger sister) came to afterschool for a few minutes and Simon played basket ball with one of the little boys while Joy chatted with me. She comes out frequently to visit and keep me company, and - though she's more than ten years younger than me - she is so sweet and I really enjoy having someone more mature than just the little kids to talk to :D . Anyway, after a few minutes Bro. Blake came by to get them. He called to Simon something about Law waiting for him. Law and Simon are really good, if not best, friends. Law and Abigail and Piper used to go to VRCA, and Simon really missed him when the S. kids started being home-schooled instead. Of course they all still go to Victory Rd. though, and the boys get together at other times too. Joy told me they were going to spend the afternoon kayaking at the reservoir.
Later, after I'd left work, the sun was behind me and in the faces of those I was passing as I turned off the main road through town onto the one leading out of town, back to our 'neck of the woods'. There was a little string of vehicles waiting to turn back into town at the stop sign. I noticed a gold suburban-like vehicle with a green kayak and a red kayak strapped to the top, and looked down at the people inside. Sure enough, it was Simon and Law in Law's new vehicle (well, new to him - it's not new new), heading home at the end of the afternoon. The sun was in their faces, their green eyes were shining, and Law's right hand was draped over the steering wheel, his head bobbing in time to music as his chin rested in his other hand, propped up by his elbow in the open window. I waved hard as I passed, but they were lost in their own little world. That picture though, was such a blessing. Even if I hadn't known those boys, I would have loved it. They looked so carefree and youthful and wholesome and old-fashioned - two youths on their way home from an afternoon jaunt, enjoying the carefree days of summer.

So, good things are happening. Little sweets dropped into my life by my God Who loves me, possibly as a way of saying, "Hey, don't worry. I love the people you love, WWWWWAAAAAYYYYY more than you do, or ever could. I've got them - it's okay. And I love you."

One of the songs Austin picked out for our music group to do this week was "10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord)", one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. So powerful, both in lyrics and musical composition. It has this sweet, haunting, Celtic-y sort of sound. Mom commented that it would sound good with a penny whistle, which I have and am trying to learn to play, but I'm already playing the keyboard and the keyboard part is tricky enough! We practiced a long time Tuesday night, trying to get all the timing down, and all the kinks worked out. The other guys love to tease me, but they're so patient and forgiving with my mistakes too, encouraging and instructing where I need it. I'd never been really nervous about playing with them (I'm not the type that gets stage fright), but I was nervous about playing that song. Even though it wouldn't be the end of the world if we messed up, the keyboard was the main part, and if I messed up, it would make them look bad. I just didn't want to let them down.
Well, Wednesday we did the song, and no, I didn't fall on my face and it wasn't terrible, but I didn't come in at a couple of spots just right, and it wasn't perfect.
As Austin passed me when we went back to our seats, he whispered, "Good job." I think one of his spiritual gifts must be encouragement :) . The others never said anything one way or another, whether they forgot, or didn't get a chance, or what, I don't know. I did my best, but I still felt bad. With more practice, maybe I'll do better if we do that one again - I just hated the thought that maybe I'd let them down.

So anyway, that's a few thoughts on everything that is happening lately. Good things, disappointments, but everything works together to bring good. I've got to hurry off to make sure I've got everything I need for the Famine. Looking forward to seeing what God does through it. I thank the Lord for this peace that I'm sure is coming from Him in the middle of all this! Hopefully I can understand and learn the lesson.

"5 Small Things Friday" No. 30

Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".

For this week, here is my list:

1. Sight: Simon And Law Coming Back From Kayaking

2. Hearing: Joy Chatting With Me

3. Smell: Mom's Hair Stuff

4. Taste: A Hot Grilled-cheese Sandwich And A Home-made Muffin

5. Touch: Wednesday Night's Game

The stories behind the list:

1. After I'd left work Thursday afternoon, the sun was behind me and in the faces of those I was passing as I turned off the main road through town onto the one leading out of town, back to our 'neck of the woods'. There was a little string of vehicles waiting to turn back into town at the stop sign. I noticed a gold suburban-like vehicle with a green kayak and a red kayak strapped to the top, and looked down at people inside. It was Simon and Law in Law's new vehicle (well, new to him - it's not new new), heading home at the end of the afternoon. The sun was in their faces, their green eyes were shining, and Law's right hand was draped over the steering wheel, his head bobbing in time to music as his chin rested in his other hand, propped up by his elbow in the open window. I waved hard as I passed, but they were lost in their own little world. That picture though, was such a blessing. Even if I hadn't known those boys, I would have loved it. They looked so carefree and youthful and wholesome and old-fashioned - two youths on their way home from an afternoon jaunt, enjoying the carefree days of summer.

2. Joy, Aron and Simon's younger sister, Bro. Blake's daugher, comes out frequently to visit and keep me company at after-school. Bro. Blake's wife is a teacher there and sometimes stays over for a while to do work, and though Joy's more than ten years younger than me she is so sweet and funny and I really enjoy having someone more mature than the little kids alone to talk to :D . Monday she stayed longer than usual and I really enjoyed our visit. She kindof rambled about random stuff, but it was so soothing to hear her cheerful young voice and clever comments. She even taught us (me, and the younger kids sitting around listening to our chat) a song a little brother and sister couple from church had made up. It was really cute and clever! Here are the words, with the verses sung to the first part of the tune of "The Brave Old Duke Of York" - I guess they made up the chorus' tune:

Verse 1:
I woke up Saturday morning,
I looked up on the wall -
The 'skeeters and the bedbugs
Were playin' a game of ball.

Verse 2:
The score was six to nothin' -
The 'skeeters were ahead -
The bedbugs hit a homerun,
and knocked me out of bed!

I'm singin'

Chorus:
Eeny-meeny and a
Miny-mo.
Catch a wiffle-waffle
By it's toe.
And if he hollers (hollers, hollers),
Let him go,
With an
Eeny-meeny, an' a
Miny-mo!"

3. Mom has this hair product that she uses on her hair after she washes it. It smells just like the community center where we used to have our meetings when Trissy and I were in 4-H. We spent hours in that building with our 4-H friends, learning so much good stuff. Don't think I'll ever forget that particular scent. Brings back so many wonderful memories every time Mom does her hair :) !

4. If you know me well or have been reading this blog long, you know I love random, snacky suppers. Friday night Trissy and I went up to visit The Grandparents for supper and to spend the evening. Mom was gone on a two-day ladies' retreat with a group from the church, and Dad was studying. Trissy had the idea of taking some muffins out of the freezer, and making grilled-cheese sandwiches for supper. We all really enjoyed it. The Grandmother kept going on and on about how tasty it was - and boy could I agree!

5. After class Wednesday night, we usually have some type of group game to close out the evening. This past Wednesday we played a really fun one, and I decided to use it as my 'Touch' thing for this week.
The group puts their chairs in a circle, with one person standing in the middle, and no chair for them in the circle. The person in the middle is holding a small object like a button or a bottle cap. They must take the hand of someone from the circle and begin leading them around, still inside the circle. If it's a girl, she takes a boy; if it's a boy, he takes a girl. The person chosen reaches out and takes someone else, they take someone else, and so on, until there is a little boy-girl-boy-girl 'train' walking around inside the circle of chairs. This can go on for as long as the leader wants, even until everyone is picked and the chairs are empty. The thing is, at some point they drop their little object (we played with a white bottle cap on light-colored carpet). The first person to notice the leader has dropped their bottle cap lets go and dives for a chair in the circle. When that happens, it becomes a mad race to get to a chair. Remember, there is one less chair than people, so the person left without a chair is the leader for the next round.
It might sound kindof goofy, but it's alot of fun - not to mention great exercise!

"5 Small Things Friday" No. 22

Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".

For this week, here is my list:

1. Sight: Clouds And Kids At VRCA

2. Hearing: First Practice With The Youth Music Group

3. Smell: Burnt Squash

4. Taste: Frosted Mini Wheats

5. Touch: Going Barefoot On Our Carpet

The stories behind the list:

1. At after-school Wednesday, I was outside with the kids, and I believe it was one of them that noticed and pointed out the majestic-ness of the huge clouds moving slowly across the sky overhead. The afternoon sun shining through the trees at the edge of the school yard also shone gloriously through the spaces in the great clouds, making them brilliant shades of silver, gray, and pure white, and gilding the edges with dazzling gold. The kids as they stood still, play forgotten, mesmerized by the beautiful sight and staring up at the sky with gaping mouths and curious eyes, were as wonderful to see as the clouds themselves.

2. Well, Tuesday was the fulfillment of a long-held, but contentedly-suppressed dream of mine: To play keyboard for/with our group of young musicians at the church, who play for the young people's class on Wednesday nights (and for the Sunday morning service on the first Sunday of the month after a "5th Sunday").
Andrea had to have surgery to fix an ankle injury, and this past Thursday instead of having our college-age Bible Study, we took the church van and went and visited her. Austin, Archer, Aron, Henley, and Timothy, and Trissy and I were the ones that went. Austin and Archer had bought a special cable to hook up her TV with a DVD player or something right beside her bed so she could watch it without having to bother her mom to come put on something for her. She was pretty thrilled :) . After the boys got it hooked up, we all sat or stood around in her little room for a while, watching the "Swamp People" show that was on, and chatting during commercials. During one, Austin turned to me and asked, "So what are you doing Tuesday night?" I thought for a minute, but couldn't think of anything that I knew of, and asked how come he was wondering. I had forgotten that the youth music group practiced on Tuesday nights. He asked if I'd like to come and play keyboard for them. Would I?! I said I'd love to, but I didn't know how to play chords, which I knew was what they needed. He and Archer (who was listening by this time) both said that was no big deal, I could learn, and they would help me along if I needed it. I thanked them and said I'd ask Dad and Mom and let them know.
I was thrilled! I'd been secretly wishing I could play with the group for a while, but 1) I knew I couldn't play chords, 2) I hadn't been invited, and 3) I enjoyed listening to them! and if I was playing, I'd be on that side of it instead. So I was satisfied where I was, and tried to give encouragement and support to them whenever I could. Now I was being given this honor, and even if Dad and Mom said no, I'd still have that warm feeling of knowing they had wanted me. But Dad and Mom said yes, and Tuesday night was my first practice! I spent a huge part of the day Monday looking up YouTube videos and chording music, trying to teach myself enough to get started, or so that I could at least ask intelligent questions if I needed to.
But it really wasn't that hard. I found an excellent, simple, instruction video on YouTube, learned the basic chords and how to read them, and got off to a good start with my keyboard chording education :) !
So Tuesday night rolled around, and I got to the church a little before time, just to make sure I'd be there on time! The boys set up the keyboard, and put me right in the center of the group. That turned out to be just perfect for me starting out. That way I had each of them right next to me, and it was pretty hard to get lost - I could just tilt my head one way or another and hear whichever instrument loud and clear that could help me keep on track.
Julia singing slightly ahead to my right, helped me keep my place and where we were in the song. Law and his bass guitar slightly behind to my right, picking each bass note strong so I could tell which chord I was supposed to be playing right then. Simon on the drums behind and on my left, helped me feel the timing. Archer strumming his acoustic guitar ahead to my left, led the rhythm and helped me feel when we were fixing to change chords. Austin directly in front of me, either picking on his electric guitar, singing, or playing his cajon (Pronounced, "kuh-HONE". It's a box drum.), filled in the spaces and kept everything together.
It was challenging, but not overwhelming, everything sounded really good, and I appreciated again the talent and great potential the Lord has given to these young people. When we said good night and I left, I felt like I was on cloud nine.

3. Bless her heart one of our family cooks (I won't name which one) fixed squash for our lunch Thursday, but it burnt. Not so bad that we couldn't eat it, but you could smell it. And it smelt for all the world like cigarette smoke! The whole house smelled like that for quite a while, and it brought back memories of sad classmates I had in college that would smell like that. It made me thankful that the Lord has blessed me with a family that doesn't smoke.

4. Thursday night coming in from College Bible Study I was so hungry, and I was going to spend the night with The Grandparents. Whenever I'm at their house and I'm hungry, all I want is cereal! Jaylyn and Jewel, y'all know what I'm talking about! The Grandmother is famous among the grandchildren for having a stash of various cereals that she keeps for us :) . Bless her heart! I came in Thursday night, and she sent me into the kitchen for a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats. They were SO good!

5. Our carpet is several years old and rather worn in spots, but Monday morning the weather was so fresh and cool (not cold) that I went barefoot all morning. That wonderful old carpet felt SO fluffy and soft under my feet!

January Children's Ranch Mission Trip

The 2nd through the 7th, a group from Victory Rd. took a mission trip of sorts to a children's home and ranch in a near-by state. The home is for children who either are orphans, or are from homes where the parent(s) are not able to care for them, for various reasons. Victory Road has been involved in this ministry almost from the time it was started, and has provided the physical labor to help clear the land that the two houses (one for boys and one for girls) are built on. On this trip, we disassembled an old barn in order to reuse the lumber (a much more tedious job that you might think at first), and also did alot of brush-clearing and firewood chopping, loading, and stacking. This was also the first trip that Trissy and I have made to the ranch, though we've heard so much about it, it was already a dear place to us.

We had a total of 13 people go from the church, and Justice drove over from the state he and Noel live in now, and met us there. The Bible college where Oliver and Landon are is right in the same neighborhood as the ranch, so we enjoyed some rare time with them as well.
Of our church college friends I've written about over the years on this blog, the ones that were together for a few hours at the ranch were: Aron, Justice, Landon, Oliver, Russell, Lindy, Autumn, Trissy, and me. If Austin, Archer, Toby, Henley, Noel, Lora, and Camille had been able to come, the whole gang would have been together again - if only for a short time. As it was though, several of us mentioned how it seemed like old times again, especially with Justice, Landon, and Oliver there, who we see so rarely since they live out-of-state now.

Bro. Mike and his wife also went, as well as Aron's younger brother Simon, Archer's younger sister Abigail, another lady, another man, and 'my brown-eyed boy'.

'My brown-eyed boy'. I haven't mentioned him before. I don't really know why I think of him with that title, except that, 1) he has brown eyes (duh :) ) and 2) through his family's attendance at Victory Rd., but even more through my interaction with him because of my job at VRCA where he goes to school, I have had the privilege of becoming his friend. I feel toward him what I might feel toward a little brother. His father is unsaved and in the military, and so is gone overseas for months or years at a time. With his father's absence, 'my brown-eyed boy' has been forced to become the 'man of the house', in a sense. His mother is a very capable and sturdy lady (she is also a teacher at VRCA), but with his two younger brothers, there is plenty of weight that she has to share with his young shoulders.
He is in his later teens, and very capable, but without that strong Christian father figure in his life, he struggles. It seems at times that he swings between an overwhelming desire and effort to be the good strong man that would make his Christian friends and his father and mother proud, and the young boy whose teenage problems threaten to swallow him whole.
But I love that part of him that is trying so hard to become a Godly man. I thank the Lord that He has allowed me into the position of influencing this young man as an older friend. It's as if the Lord has given me a great burden for this boy, and has graciously allowed me to actually be part of helping him. For, for some strange reason, he seems to really respect me, value my opinion on different things, and almost seems to look to me as an older sibling, certainly as a friend.
With his dad being in the military, it came up a few weeks ago that they may have to move away from us and to another state farther up north. He seems to be taking it pretty hard, and several of us are praying that somehow they will be able to stay.
Several times in the past year, when there has been some project or mission-trip-fundraiser that the church has been involved in, I have been so impressed and thankful for how he has stepped up and been a responsible example, young gentleman, and hard worker. It's like he gets into 'beast mode' (as they say around here) and gets going so hard a freight train couldn't stop him! And boy, he really threw himself into the work on this trip!

I took minimal journal notes on the trip. Seeing as how we got up before the crack of dawn each morning to grab breakfast and be ready to get to work when the sun came up, then fell into bed dog-tired every night, besides all the fun and fellowship and goofing off with friends in between, I didn't have time to journal like I had wanted to. But I did record a few things each day. Thoughts, prayers, things to remember, and bits from the great devotionals Justice challenged us with each night in front of the fire.
Here they are, from my heart, to paper (or, "computer screen", I suppose is more accurate):


"Jan. 4, 2012 –

Prayers:
Dear God help my precious boys. Make Men of my boys! Help my brown-eyed boy now. He’s got so much on his young mind; so many changes, so many responsibilities, so many disappointments. I love my boys and girls so much!! Thank you for loving me. I could not love them or anyone or anything else, if You had not first shown me what love really is. Help me show my love in appropriate yet impacting ways. Help me to encourage my friends and those who look up to and expect so much from me. Help me to behave myself in appropriate ways, in integrity, in wisdom, in Godliness, so as to have the most influence and impact on these dear lives as possible for Your glory's sake.


Jan. 5, 2012 –

Things to remember:
'Bucket brigade' log loading. ATV-driving lessons from our resident sidekick, Russell, and 'my brown-eyed boy'. Driving an ATV and trailer for the first time (and, I might add, loaded down with logs and friends). Growing closer to brothers. So thankful for a kindred-spirit sister-friend (Lindy). Silly videoing. Learning everybody's middle names (or first names, as the case may be). Being silly with friends. Going Snipe hunting for the first time in my life.

Justice’s devotional – Drawing near to God:
The more you are willing to spend time with God, the more He will reveal Himself to you. The Father went to meet the prodigal son when he came home. When the dove came back to Noah, he reached out to take it back in.
James 4:8 – "Draw nigh to God, and He will draw night to you..." It means just what it says.
Luke 15:11-32 – Verse 20 references Acts 2:39. Verse 21 references Ps. 51:4.
Gen. 8:9 – I have always found the picture painted in this verse to be so touching.
Isaiah 58:9(a) – Another wonderful word picture. Like a lonely or hurt young person, seeking the help and/or consolation of a trusted friend or counselor.
Heb. 13:5 – Let your lifestyle be without covetousness. And be content with what you have already been given. Because, He has said, 'I will never leave you or abandon you.'

How do we as Christians draw near to God?
1) Turn from sin. Heb 4:14 and 16
2) Praise Him. Ps. 147:1
3) Read and trust His Word. Ps. 119:114
4) In faith and hope lay hold of His promises. Ps. 119:162

Prayers:
Oh Father help 'my brown-eyed boy'! Everything is here for him. It's such a great unknown he will be stepping into if they go. Please leave him and his family here with us. Or, please take care of them while they’re gone. Help me know what to do about [going on an overseas mission trip with the church this summer].


Jan. 6, 2012 –

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend..." I experienced the truth of this verse firsthand this afternoon. In his characteristic good-naturedly bossy way, Aron pointed out that often I am mean to Trissy in the way I talk to her. We had a whole little conversation about it, and it really really hurt. Especially when he picks on his younger brother Simon, and Russell, and me, and it’s always a joke or teasing then. Why can’t he see that I'm just teasing Trissy the way the gang teases me and I tease them?! But I got to thinking over the examples he gave. And yes, as he pointed out, to an onlooker who didn't know the people or the situation, it could appear that I was very rude and mean. Especially when she's so soft-spoken in public. So I hope I can take his advice in the way that he meant it, learn from it, and get over feeling sorry for myself.

I have been so proud of my younger boys (Simon and 'my brown-eyed boy') on this trip! They have both behaved in a very respectful and mostly ;) responsible way, and have conducted themselves in a commendable manner.
Abigail also, though the youngest on this trip, has pulled her weight and kept up valiantly, being our 'shy one', but so sweet!

Prayers:
Dear God, make true men of my boys! Ladies of my girls!
Keep, bless, and protect 'my brown-eyed boy', physically, spiritually, emotionally... in every way! If his family must leave, make him great through this. He’s so small, but I can see in him the potential to become so big. Oh God make him a great man!!

Justice’s devotional - One With Christ:
John 14:19 – "...because I live, ye shall live also." Christ is our reason for living. If it were not for Him - His life, His death, His rising from the grave, His love, His gift – life would not be worth living. Literally. There would be nothing worth being alive for! Because He lives, we have Heaven, we have Life, we have Joy, we have Purpose.
Colossians 3:3 – We are dead. Our life is Christ. He is IN us!! As Justice said, we are not light bulbs waiting to be screwed in when an old one burns out. We have the Light IN us! Do others see the Light? As Abigail said, "Live in such a way that those who don’t know God, but know you, will come to know God, because they know you." Dear God may others see the Light from seeing me live!!

~

After the devotional each night, we all would separate, each finding a little corner of the cabin to read over, think over, and pray over what Justice had talked about that night. I usually curled up in one of the chairs or couches in front of the fire to do my thinking, and when I was done, I would journal until the stirring and hushed conversation from the others signaled that everyone else was done too.
Then we'd play games, talk, or go to bed, depending on how tired we were :) .

The last night, all the children and both sets of house parents met in the boys' house and hosted supper for us. It was such a privilege to get to meet and interact with all the kids that we'd come to help! We had a great evening of getting to know them, and ended the night with an epic game of Pledge-the-super-long-wood-floor-hallway-and-slide-down-it-in-your-stocking-feet, in which a few brave adults also participated :D ! Evidently that's what they do for entertainment on Friday nights at the ranch! Sounded like a wholesome winner to me, as long as you have helmets and pads ;D !

All-in-all it was a great week of exhausting but extremely fulfilling physical labor, spiritual renewal, and friendship strengthening. So many memories made! Memories I think I will treasure my life through.

Blessed Be Your Name

We sang this last night at church in the young people's class. As a general rule, I don't really care for alot of the modern 'Christian music', but this has become one of my favorite songs of all time. It really has alot of 'meat' to it, if you get my meaning, and the Lord has really used it in my life lately. I thought I'd share the lyrics here for you!

The young people (from about age 14 through college) meet in an upstairs room for their Wednesday night lesson. Before the lesson, we always sing a couple of songs, and about four of the young people are in charge of 'leading' it. Archer plays several kinds of guitar, Bro. Blake's son Simon plays the drums (I don't really care for drums, but in all fairness he's really quite good and doesn't overdo it), Julia (haven't mentioned her yet - she's definitely one of the 'cooler' kids, you know, perfect blond hair, perfect in-style clothes, and an attitude that comes out occasionally, but I think she really does have a good heart - Trissy is closer to her than I am, and likes her) sings, Japan (his nickname - he looks oriental, but he really isn't - I don't think :) ) plays a guitar, and last night Archer's younger brother Law played another guitar. They all do a good job, and I said all of that to say this: I like our church's versions of these 'new' songs, generally alot better that the people who recorded them. So, many times when I mention a more 'modern' song that has blessed me, I am thinking of the way our church does them :) !

BLESSED BE YOUR NAME

Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Chorus:
Every blessing You pour out I'll
Turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's "all as it should be"
Blessed be You name
And blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Chorus:
Every blessing You pour out I'll
Turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
I will bless Your name

Chorus:
Every blessing You pour out I'll
Turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

He is Lord! He is sovereign! Blessed Be His Name!!