I am not at all in the habit of using the word "awesome" to describe things, but in light of the great blessing the Lord gave me in this Sunday, I think it's almost worthy of the word.
The morning dawned beautifully. I went up to The Grandparents' to fix their breakfast (we've been taking turns doing that - it makes it easier for them on a busy morning trying to get ready for church), and the air had a little chill in it, but the sunshine was warm and sweet.
I finished helping them, and came back to the house, in high spirits and ready for my own breakfast, looking forward to a morning at the Lord's house. Later as I was getting ready, I got a message from Noel, reminding everyone that this morning was the start of Justice's New Testament Survey Sunday school class, and I felt an even greater expectation!
Justice was making the class available to whoever wanted to take it in the church, not just the college class, so Dad and Mom had signed up to take it as well. Because it was going to be more people than usual, we were going to meet in the larger classroom downstairs under the youth room, in the gym across the street from the church building. We were running a little late, so we parked in the small lot behind the church (closer to the gym), and as Dad and Mom gathered their Bibles and things, they told Trissy and me to go ahead and go to the classroom, so Justice would know we were there and on our way.
Trissy and I started across the little lot behind the church building, toward the street that separates the church from the gym and it's parking lot and the big, empty, grassy lot that also serves as spare parking space. The morning sun was beautiful, the air was crisp and clear, and we strolled along breathing deeply of the Spring sweetness.
Trissy suddenly called my attention to a tall young figure crossing the grassy lot quite a ways ahead of us. It was Law, heading to his Sunday School class in the youth room.
"There goes Mr. S." she commented, smiling.
I looked up. "Mmhmm" I hadn't noticed him yet, but his bright red polo made him hard to miss.
He strode along comfortably with a firm, unhurried step, his shoulders straight and his head up, moving gently, as if he were enjoying the beautiful morning. Less than a year ago, he would have ambled indifferently along, his shoulders slumped a little forward, and his gaze for the most part turned downward.
Taking note of the difference, my heart felt fit to burst with thankfulness for the Lord's work in that young heart.
Justice was the only one in the classroom when we walked in, but his mom was right behind us, then Noel, Autumn, and Aron's cousin's husband. Toby hobbled in, his leg in a brace after surgery for a torn ACL, and another older couple filled out the class. Justice said Austin was going to be leading the music service this morning, and he was getting the last details taken care of, so he and Ava might be late. We went ahead and started, but they came in pretty soon.
It was a good class, and I think we're going to learn alot. And such a wonderful, comfortable, combination of old times and new times! The thought kept running through my mind, "This is so right. This feels so right."
Later in the choir room, as the choir members trickled in, Lindsay (who has been singing with us off-and-on for several months) came up to me, said good morning, and shyly gave me what I call a 'greeting hug' (which I kindof explain in this post :) ). As she stepped back, she said, in her soft feminine way, 'You look pretty today. Well,' she paused and tilted her head as if correcting herself, 'you always look pretty. I love your hair.'
I was caught off guard.
'Aw,' I kindof ducked my head, and smiled in confusion, 'Thank you!'
I didn't know what to say! I was completely taken by surprise. Seldom am I told that I am pretty - which is convenient, because I know it's not true, and it's nice to not have to try to come up with a polite response.
But coming from a modern teen-age girl, it meant so much - to think that maybe I had been able to influence her enough as a friend for her to want to reach back out to me in her own way.
As the choir walked out in our single-file line, I saw that, not only was Austin leading, but the instruments were switched up too.
Usually, Bro. Blake leads, Lydia plays acoustic guitar, Austin is on electric, and Bro. Dennis on bass, with Simon on drums, and a young woman of the church (whose husband is a veterinarian - just a random FYI fact :) ) plays the piano. This morning though, Austin was playing acoustic guitar (in addition to leading the singing), Bro. Dennis was on electric, and Law on bass! I don't think Law has been on bass for a Sunday morning service since Bro. Blake was put in charge of the music. Simon was still on drums and the lady on the piano, but Bro. Blake was incorporating some extra percussion (tambourine and cajon) that isn't usually used.
Walking out and seeing this setup rejoiced my heart.
And the service just kept getting better as we began to sing.
My heart was so glad. I kept getting that thought again, "This is right. This is so right."
I know that, as a child of God, my joy is not dependent on my circumstances. The Lord never changes; He remains the amazing, caring, dependable, trustworthy Friend that He was when I first met Him. He will never go somewhere where I cannot be around Him anymore. He will never disappoint me. He will never make a mistake or let me down. He is always available to put His arms around me and let me lean into Him. He is the true source of anything good or enjoyable that is part of my life. HE is.
And yet I would be denying a fact of life if I tried to pretend that circumstances do not influence the way a Christian feels. Christians are not immune to sorrow or happiness. They are just as prone to emotion, doubt, struggle, and soaring victory as a person is who does not know God. The difference is that we have the Lord as our Friend and help. He guides us and helps us through difficult, as well as victorious times. And He uses both the really hard and the really great times to mold us into who He wants us to be.
Today was one of those really great days.
I guess pretty much the only thing that happened to mar the beauty of the day, was choir practice.
There were alot of people out, I guess because of Spring Break, and it was a really small crowd. There were only two in the 'men' (tenor and bass) section, and those were the two fifth-grade boys who have been singing with us for the past couple of months. I sing tenor, so when I went up into the choir, I sat by them.
I'm thankful to say that Bro. Dennis still comes and sings in the choir, even though he technically doesn't even have to be there anymore. There's usually at least one other man that is there to sing tenor, but he wasn't there this afternoon. So when Bro. Dennis came in a little late, I moved over a space, so he could sit next to the boys.
I pretty much couldn't concentrate the rest of practice. We were working on songs from a book Bro. Dennis had used with us last year. And here he was, in the choir instead of leading it. Sitting next to me, and yet a stranger. The man who taught me as much (probably more) about practical Christian living, about how to knowledgeably yet respectfully defend the Faith, about choosing joy, about reliance on and faith in the sovereignty of God, than any other preacher or teacher I've ever had. One of my heroes of the Faith. Just, gone.
I didn't feel that bitter piercing pain, only a dull sad ache. How I wished that I dared turn to him and say simply, "I miss you."
Of course I didn't, but I couldn't help but wonder, what would happen if I did? Inside, my heart spoke quietly on; quiet, but so deeply hurting. "I miss you. Why did you leave? Where did you go? Will you ever come back? I know you're still in there somewhere. Aren't you? Do you even exist anymore? Deep down, are you still in there, or is this stranger here to stay? To replace you? Please come back. I miss you. And I'm not the only one. Do you not see the pain in the eyes of others here who love you?"
My mind wandered to memories of happy choir practices only a couple of years ago. When Bro. Jack and Mrs. Janet, Bro. Mike and Camille, Mrs Carrie, Mrs. Renae, and Bro. Blake were still in it. When laughter and music were strong because they went together. When Bro. Dennis's merry heart and musical knowledge refused to be beaten by our amateurity, and he'd whip us into shape with his wit and talent.
Yeah, choir practice was really hard.
But aside from that, the rest of the evening was pleasant. And after church, our college fellowship supper was at Austin and Ava's. They made spaghetti together - dear Ava's biggest source of remorse is the fact that she can't cook. But she's serious about learning, and her experiments so far have turned out quite well. I hate to be at someone's house without helping out somehow, so she put me and Aron's little cousin to making garlic bread. Aron, Henley, and Timothy were there, Aron's cousin and her husband, toddler son, and little sister, Justice and Noel and Justice's younger brother Tanner, Austin and Ava of course, and me. Trissy was tired out from a long week of school, so she didn't go.
It seemed like such a small group, but it was pleasant and relaxing.
After supper, the guys were outside trying to fix Tanner's truck that wouldn't start, Aron and Henley and Aron's cousin's family had already left to get the kids to bed, and Noel was watching the progress on the truck. I made Ava let me help her clean the kitchen, and we had a good talk about plans for the future, how God uses events in our lives, and how He's been working recently, as I washed and she dried and put away the dishes.
We were nearly done. The guys had gotten Tanner's truck running, and they came in to see how we were getting along before Justice, Noel, and Tanner said goodnight and left.
I finished drying the salad tongs that had been used to serve the spaghetti noodles, and asked where they were supposed to be put. Austin opened a drawer.
"Oh. These are salad tongs." I said as I put them in, pretending to just then figure out their use. "Salad tongs." I emphasized to Austin, waving my hands under his nose as he bent to shut the drawer.
'Yeah, that's why we're using them for spaghetti,' he returned, completely unruffled. Austin does not like vegetables.
Ava spoke up from where she was putting up the plates. 'Austin doesn't really eat salads.' She made a disapproving face.
'Don't worry,' I reassured her, as Austin took the towel from me to dry his hands and I turned back to the sink for another dish. 'We'll convert him yet.'
Austin finished drying his hands. 'Good luck,' he replied. He draped the towel over my shoulder, patted it sympathetically, and left the kitchen. Ava and I looked at each other and chuckled.
I enjoyed the drive back to the house, tired but happily reliving the memories of the wonderful day. I turned off the highway onto our dirt road and drove slowly up the little hill, savoring the sight of the bright summer stars above the cool smoothness of the pasture grass on my left. I turned into our drive on the right and parked, got out, and walked back to the end of the drive - which faces that pasture - and stood at the end, staring up at the stars. The air had that delicate yet hardy touch of cool-in-warmth that is so typical of Spring evenings. It wasn't cool, it wasn't warm, it was fresh and it was perfect. I saw the tiny blinking lights of two airplanes and the darting path of a shooting star. My heart was so full.
I stood there quite a while, wishing I could look for hours, and resolving that I was going to spend the night sleeping under the stars some day.
When I turned to go back to the house though, the picture that met my sight touched my heart just as strongly as the one I was turning from, though in a completely different way.
Our house (it's actually a double-wide trailer that Dad's improved and built on to), sits back a little from the dirt road. The front outside light was on, and the big oak in our front yard was a radiating silhouette, lit up magically by the light behind it. The windows of the house glowed a cozy golden. My steps made a satisfying crunching sound on the gravelly drive, and my heart was leaning considerably to the lighter side as I went in.
Showing posts with label Noel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Noel. Show all posts
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
"5 Small Things Friday" No. 75
Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".
For this week, here is my list:
1. Sight: Stars
2. Hearing: Justice And Noel Are Staying
3. Smell:
4. Taste: Ava's Red Velvet Cake Balls
5. Touch: Shower Wall
The stories behind the list:
1. When I came in from work Thursday night, I was pretty worn out. But I was still trying to get a bunch of my stuff done around the house that gets put off because of work. I had something that was supposed to go in my car to be taken somewhere, so I hurried outside to put it in my car for the next day. But when I got outside, I stopped hurrying. The stars were amazing. It was a perfectly clear night and I could see them laid out in text-book clarity. The sky was a dark rich blue deepness and the stars were scattered diamonds, shining in the brilliance of something reflecting perfect light. Points of glitter, shining perfection piercing my desperate haste.
Their stunning beauty, and the resulting implication of how incredible their Designer has to be, brought back the words of a dear young friend: 'Hey, the stars are powerful!"
2. For this story, see the 'Sunday night edit' towards the end of this post.
3.
4. Sweet Ava is desperately wanting to learn how to cook. Especially since her husband knows more than she does in that department, and she wants to be the one to cook for him, not the other way around :) . She is branching out and trying new things along. She gets alot of ideas and recipes from the internet, especially Pinterest. Last week she made some red velvet cake balls. She was so proud of herself and when Trissy and I stopped by their house one evening for something, she insisted on sending some home with us! I'm really trying to eat less dessert, so I didn't try them for a few days, but when I did, I wanted to 'ration' them and make them last as long as possible - they were so yummy!
5. In December, our college group decided to suspend our Thursday Night College Bible Study until the new year, with how busy everyone was for the holidays and all. I thought to myself then, 'If we quit now, we're liable not to start back.'
And we haven't.
This Thursday night I was feeling probably the 'down-est' I've felt about it since we unofficially quit. Things have slowed back down now, and there's a Thursday evening gap in my life now that used to be filled with friends, Christian fellowship, discussion, ideas, challenges, encouragement, exhortation, fun, and Bible study. Not that those things don't exist other places as well... it's just that, those times were something extra special. Memories, priceless lessons, and I hate to know they're gone.
I felt so exhausted as I got ready for bed. Not just physically, but, it seemed like my very soul was just tired. In the shower, I leaned against the wall and prayed. And in the warm water and the solid, smooth shower wall, I felt like the Lord was sending me comfort and strength. Weird maybe, but I believe He uses little things like that.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Sunday, Mar. 3, 2013
I miss Archer. It's just that simple. I miss him alot.
Every Sunday I think it will be okay, that all the other wonderful people the Lord has blessed me with at Victory Rd. will fill my heart and thoughts.
I try not to talk about it much. I don't want people to misunderstand and get the wrong idea about how I feel about him. But my college friends at Victory Rd. are like family to me - almost literally. I've never had such a large set of close, wonderful friends my own age like I have had the past four years in this group. I've always wished I had more brothers and sisters, especially brothers, and especially brothers my age, or older. This group has done much to fill that void. I love all the guys. Each one holds a special unique place in my heart. But Archer and Austin are different somehow. I don't love them more than I love the others, but I love them differently. I feel toward them like I always imagined I'd feel towards my real brother if I had one. Of all the guys, these two are closest to being my 'brothers'.
So, I miss my brother. It's similar to how I felt 2009-2010 when Austin was gone on that almost-a-year-long mission trip to a country hostile to the Gospel. But, he was gone on a mission trip, which made it more bearable. And the plan was for him to be back in a few months. We e-mailed him back and forth all the time. And we Skyped him nearly every Sunday morning before church. When he came back, things fell back into the old comfortable familiarity, and life felt 'right' again.
Archer's just gone.
This morning was really good and really hard, both. Austin played acoustic guitar for the music service, and it was bringing back memories of the couple of months last year (or was it the year before?) when he was playing acoustic and Archer played bass. But no one could ever hear the bass, and Archer wouldn't turn it up or play louder, so finally Bro. Dennis recruited Law to play bass, put Archer on acoustic, and Austin on electric. Perfect. Bro. Dennis even said, 'Why haven't we done this before?'
But then those thoughts also brought back the pain of the fact that Bro. Dennis isn't the music minister anymore. And one of the songs we sang this morning was one Mrs. Renae always sang so wonderfully. I was in the choir of course, and it was so hard to get through that one.
And after church I heard someone discussing the progress of the fix-up work on the house Bro. Mike's family lived in, in preparation for Bro. Nick and Lydia and their family to move in.
Victory Rd.'s face is changing. Trent, one of the younger boys in the youth group, plays acoustic guitar with us on Wednesday nights in Archer's place. He's a nice kid, and a talented guitarist. Bro. Nick's family is settling in and becoming a part of us. In preparation for moving on to wherever the Lord will have him and Noel go, Justice stepped down as teacher of our college Sunday School class, it was put on hold until a new teacher could be found, and the members have scattered into other classes for the time being. In fact, our first Sunday to go to different classes was Bro. Mike's family's and Archer's last one at Victory Rd (Jan. 13).
So my little corner of the world at Victory Rd. now looks very different from what it did a year ago - that time being a sample of what I consider some of the best, most wonderful, and most 'growing' times of my life.
And gradually, I think I'm painfully getting used to it. But it almost seems like getting used to an amputation. I've never had an amputation, and I in no way pretend to understand that actual, physical type of pain. Yet, I almost feel like I've gone through something similar. I keep functioning, but parts of my life are gone. The scar is healing over, but there are blank empty spots where vital parts used to be, and sometimes I find myself cruelly and suddenly re-awakened to the fact that they aren't there anymore. Like that song Mrs. Renae used to sing. It was so unexpected, and I nearly lost control of my emotions, right there in the choir in front of everybody. Or seeing Austin playing his heart out and looking over, and there being only an empty space of carpet where Archer used to stand and do the same. Or asking Bro. Dennis a question and, in his answer, realizing I hadn't heard his voice speaking directly to me in literally months, when I used to be the constant brunt of his good-natured wit and jokes. Or hearing someone say something mildly critical of Bro. Mike's family, and thinking how unfair and inconsiderate it was.
And yet life moves on anyway, and there are good things happening too.
1) Aron's cousin's husband recently realized he feels like the Lord is leading him to preach, and Bro. Earl had him preach the morning sermon today. He spoke on leadership, the Old-Testament transition from Elijah to Elisha, and did very well for his first sermon!
2) Law is constantly surprising me with how he is growing in his Christian walk. It's almost as if, around the first of the year, a switch was flipped, and since then it's been slow, steady, constant progress. Watching his attitude and peace and growth has been the single greatest encouragement to me during these recent hard times of change. Oh how I praise the Lord! I think I understand a little of how the apostle John felt when he wrote, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." (3 John 1:4) Oh how thankful! Oh how thankful I am!!
3) There are four babies being added to the church in the fall, three of them coming to families among our college group. Aron and Henley, Aron's cousin and her husband, and Justice and Noel. Praise the Lord!
4) My JV kids on Wednesday nights are such a blessing. Some are just silly and don't seem to care really. Yet I'm glad they are at church instead of off getting into mischief. Many of them though, truly seem to desire to learn and grow more. As time has come along, my thought of, "What am I doing here?!" at the first of the school year when the class started, has changed to, "These kids have so much potential - Lord, help me help them!" The questions they ask, the things they remember, their searching longing, and the discussions we have during small-group time, and Ava and Ashlyn's support as my 'assistant group leaders' have been such blessings.
5) I'm enjoying my Wednesday-afternoon weekly discipleship sessions with Joy so much. She is such a sweet girl with so much potential. We've only had three so far (we missed one week since we started), but I have great hopes for the future. How I pray that the Lord would use these times to grow us both!
6) Tuesday night music practices are again one of the highlights of my week. No, Archer is not there anymore, but the others still are, and the young man who has taken his place is willing, talented, good-natured, and brings his own unique 'flavor' to the group. I try not to think of him as 'Archer's replacement' (just as I try not to think of Bro. Nick's family as 'Bro. Mike's family's replacement'), but as himself. When I do that, I really enjoy the new dynamics. The way some of the other members of the group have pulled together, stepped up, taken up the slack, and bravely kept on and not given up has been such a blessing and encouragement. Things threatened to fall apart there for a couple of weeks - I mean, Archer was our leader! - but various members have shifted responsibilities so they could take a little of his, we've 'kept our chin up', so to speak, and I think we're settling in to a 'new normal'.
7) And all the dear people who have not left. My merciful heavenly Friend has seen fit to leave to me so many of my precious earthly friends. Justice and Noel are still here, for the time being - they feel the Lord may soon be directing them to a different place of service. Austin and Ava are still here, for the time being - Austin is seeking a full-time music ministry position. Toby and Lindy are still here, for the time being - after their wedding this summer, they will probably end up as missionaries in a Latin country; a mutual love for missions and Spanish-speaking people are probably their biggest passions. Aron and Henley and little Timothy are still here. Aron's cousin and her family. Autumn, Julia and her parents, Law, Abigail, Piper, and Bro. and Mrs. S., Nicole and her husband and parents and little brother, Bro. Earl and Mrs. Shannen, my 'brown-eyed boy', Simon, Joy, and their parents, Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie and little Maxwell, and so many others.
"There will always be someone..."
~
Sunday night edit: So, at our Sunday night college supper after church, Justice told us that he and Noel are going to be sticking around for a while. The Sunday School class is going to start up again, and he's going to teach it. He (and Noel said the same thing later) said that it just seems like the Lord keeps closing doors that they thought they might be supposed to go through, and so they'll just stay on here until they feel they have a clear calling to go somewhere else. They're planning to buy a house, and he's planning on finishing up school.
So, we get to keep them a little longer.
Wow. Oh how thankful I am! My Lord is so merciful!
After everyone else had left (the supper was held in the church's fellowship hall this week), it was just Aron and Henley, Toby and Lindy, and Trissy and me left, and we had a good conversation standing, 'on our way out the door', for about half an hour. We talked about the difficulties of trying to sell hand-made crafts in this area, mission trip preparations, concern over Randy, who seems to be going through a strange rough spell, missing Bro. Dennis teaching our college Sunday School class, gladness that Justice is planning to start it back up again, missing Bro. Mike, etc.
It had been Trissy's and my turn to cook, and as we were all getting ready to leave, Aron told Trissy he would take our big tote basket full of food and dishes out to my car for us. I already had it, but must have missed his offer - I'd just remembered we needed to turn off the lights before we left - and hurriedly swung back around to go flip the switch in the hallway. Aron grabbed my jacket sleeve to slow me down as Trissy called to get my attention. As I laughingly handed the big basket over, Aron grinned and said, "Kyrie, you have two speeds: 'fast' and 'wide open'!"
I love my friends so much! It was a hard day, but the Lord blessed me with this nice evening - I'm so thankful for His kindness.
Every Sunday I think it will be okay, that all the other wonderful people the Lord has blessed me with at Victory Rd. will fill my heart and thoughts.
I try not to talk about it much. I don't want people to misunderstand and get the wrong idea about how I feel about him. But my college friends at Victory Rd. are like family to me - almost literally. I've never had such a large set of close, wonderful friends my own age like I have had the past four years in this group. I've always wished I had more brothers and sisters, especially brothers, and especially brothers my age, or older. This group has done much to fill that void. I love all the guys. Each one holds a special unique place in my heart. But Archer and Austin are different somehow. I don't love them more than I love the others, but I love them differently. I feel toward them like I always imagined I'd feel towards my real brother if I had one. Of all the guys, these two are closest to being my 'brothers'.
So, I miss my brother. It's similar to how I felt 2009-2010 when Austin was gone on that almost-a-year-long mission trip to a country hostile to the Gospel. But, he was gone on a mission trip, which made it more bearable. And the plan was for him to be back in a few months. We e-mailed him back and forth all the time. And we Skyped him nearly every Sunday morning before church. When he came back, things fell back into the old comfortable familiarity, and life felt 'right' again.
Archer's just gone.
This morning was really good and really hard, both. Austin played acoustic guitar for the music service, and it was bringing back memories of the couple of months last year (or was it the year before?) when he was playing acoustic and Archer played bass. But no one could ever hear the bass, and Archer wouldn't turn it up or play louder, so finally Bro. Dennis recruited Law to play bass, put Archer on acoustic, and Austin on electric. Perfect. Bro. Dennis even said, 'Why haven't we done this before?'
But then those thoughts also brought back the pain of the fact that Bro. Dennis isn't the music minister anymore. And one of the songs we sang this morning was one Mrs. Renae always sang so wonderfully. I was in the choir of course, and it was so hard to get through that one.
And after church I heard someone discussing the progress of the fix-up work on the house Bro. Mike's family lived in, in preparation for Bro. Nick and Lydia and their family to move in.
Victory Rd.'s face is changing. Trent, one of the younger boys in the youth group, plays acoustic guitar with us on Wednesday nights in Archer's place. He's a nice kid, and a talented guitarist. Bro. Nick's family is settling in and becoming a part of us. In preparation for moving on to wherever the Lord will have him and Noel go, Justice stepped down as teacher of our college Sunday School class, it was put on hold until a new teacher could be found, and the members have scattered into other classes for the time being. In fact, our first Sunday to go to different classes was Bro. Mike's family's and Archer's last one at Victory Rd (Jan. 13).
So my little corner of the world at Victory Rd. now looks very different from what it did a year ago - that time being a sample of what I consider some of the best, most wonderful, and most 'growing' times of my life.
And gradually, I think I'm painfully getting used to it. But it almost seems like getting used to an amputation. I've never had an amputation, and I in no way pretend to understand that actual, physical type of pain. Yet, I almost feel like I've gone through something similar. I keep functioning, but parts of my life are gone. The scar is healing over, but there are blank empty spots where vital parts used to be, and sometimes I find myself cruelly and suddenly re-awakened to the fact that they aren't there anymore. Like that song Mrs. Renae used to sing. It was so unexpected, and I nearly lost control of my emotions, right there in the choir in front of everybody. Or seeing Austin playing his heart out and looking over, and there being only an empty space of carpet where Archer used to stand and do the same. Or asking Bro. Dennis a question and, in his answer, realizing I hadn't heard his voice speaking directly to me in literally months, when I used to be the constant brunt of his good-natured wit and jokes. Or hearing someone say something mildly critical of Bro. Mike's family, and thinking how unfair and inconsiderate it was.
And yet life moves on anyway, and there are good things happening too.
1) Aron's cousin's husband recently realized he feels like the Lord is leading him to preach, and Bro. Earl had him preach the morning sermon today. He spoke on leadership, the Old-Testament transition from Elijah to Elisha, and did very well for his first sermon!
2) Law is constantly surprising me with how he is growing in his Christian walk. It's almost as if, around the first of the year, a switch was flipped, and since then it's been slow, steady, constant progress. Watching his attitude and peace and growth has been the single greatest encouragement to me during these recent hard times of change. Oh how I praise the Lord! I think I understand a little of how the apostle John felt when he wrote, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." (3 John 1:4) Oh how thankful! Oh how thankful I am!!
3) There are four babies being added to the church in the fall, three of them coming to families among our college group. Aron and Henley, Aron's cousin and her husband, and Justice and Noel. Praise the Lord!
4) My JV kids on Wednesday nights are such a blessing. Some are just silly and don't seem to care really. Yet I'm glad they are at church instead of off getting into mischief. Many of them though, truly seem to desire to learn and grow more. As time has come along, my thought of, "What am I doing here?!" at the first of the school year when the class started, has changed to, "These kids have so much potential - Lord, help me help them!" The questions they ask, the things they remember, their searching longing, and the discussions we have during small-group time, and Ava and Ashlyn's support as my 'assistant group leaders' have been such blessings.
5) I'm enjoying my Wednesday-afternoon weekly discipleship sessions with Joy so much. She is such a sweet girl with so much potential. We've only had three so far (we missed one week since we started), but I have great hopes for the future. How I pray that the Lord would use these times to grow us both!
6) Tuesday night music practices are again one of the highlights of my week. No, Archer is not there anymore, but the others still are, and the young man who has taken his place is willing, talented, good-natured, and brings his own unique 'flavor' to the group. I try not to think of him as 'Archer's replacement' (just as I try not to think of Bro. Nick's family as 'Bro. Mike's family's replacement'), but as himself. When I do that, I really enjoy the new dynamics. The way some of the other members of the group have pulled together, stepped up, taken up the slack, and bravely kept on and not given up has been such a blessing and encouragement. Things threatened to fall apart there for a couple of weeks - I mean, Archer was our leader! - but various members have shifted responsibilities so they could take a little of his, we've 'kept our chin up', so to speak, and I think we're settling in to a 'new normal'.
7) And all the dear people who have not left. My merciful heavenly Friend has seen fit to leave to me so many of my precious earthly friends. Justice and Noel are still here, for the time being - they feel the Lord may soon be directing them to a different place of service. Austin and Ava are still here, for the time being - Austin is seeking a full-time music ministry position. Toby and Lindy are still here, for the time being - after their wedding this summer, they will probably end up as missionaries in a Latin country; a mutual love for missions and Spanish-speaking people are probably their biggest passions. Aron and Henley and little Timothy are still here. Aron's cousin and her family. Autumn, Julia and her parents, Law, Abigail, Piper, and Bro. and Mrs. S., Nicole and her husband and parents and little brother, Bro. Earl and Mrs. Shannen, my 'brown-eyed boy', Simon, Joy, and their parents, Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie and little Maxwell, and so many others.
"There will always be someone..."
~
Sunday night edit: So, at our Sunday night college supper after church, Justice told us that he and Noel are going to be sticking around for a while. The Sunday School class is going to start up again, and he's going to teach it. He (and Noel said the same thing later) said that it just seems like the Lord keeps closing doors that they thought they might be supposed to go through, and so they'll just stay on here until they feel they have a clear calling to go somewhere else. They're planning to buy a house, and he's planning on finishing up school.
So, we get to keep them a little longer.
Wow. Oh how thankful I am! My Lord is so merciful!
After everyone else had left (the supper was held in the church's fellowship hall this week), it was just Aron and Henley, Toby and Lindy, and Trissy and me left, and we had a good conversation standing, 'on our way out the door', for about half an hour. We talked about the difficulties of trying to sell hand-made crafts in this area, mission trip preparations, concern over Randy, who seems to be going through a strange rough spell, missing Bro. Dennis teaching our college Sunday School class, gladness that Justice is planning to start it back up again, missing Bro. Mike, etc.
It had been Trissy's and my turn to cook, and as we were all getting ready to leave, Aron told Trissy he would take our big tote basket full of food and dishes out to my car for us. I already had it, but must have missed his offer - I'd just remembered we needed to turn off the lights before we left - and hurriedly swung back around to go flip the switch in the hallway. Aron grabbed my jacket sleeve to slow me down as Trissy called to get my attention. As I laughingly handed the big basket over, Aron grinned and said, "Kyrie, you have two speeds: 'fast' and 'wide open'!"
I love my friends so much! It was a hard day, but the Lord blessed me with this nice evening - I'm so thankful for His kindness.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Recent Happenings No. 4
Randomness. Mmhmm, that's me. Squirrel!
This post is the past month in a nutshell. More detailed posts on each event will (hopefully; eventually) come. But until I get time ("time"? What is that again?) to do the type of more detailed posts I want, this will suffice to keep anyone interested at least somewhat up-to-date on my life of late. And boy, it's seemed like a lifetime in a month...
January began with a bang and never seemed to slow down. The sixth through the tenth, Trissy and I were gone on a church mission/service trip to a neighboring state, to do manual labor at a children's home and ranch. Victory Rd. took a group last January, and we went, and I knew I wanted to go back. The group this year consisted of the three youngest S. kids (Law, Abigail, and Piper), Joy, Autumn, Trissy and me, and four other men and women of the church. Landon met us there for part of the time, and it was so good to spend some time with him! Oliver and his wife were on a trip, so we didn't see them this time.
We helped rip up flooring in two of the houses/doorms, we moved furniture and other belongings - from the houses that were going to be renovated, into the new houses - we did a thorough 'spring cleaning' job, etc. But there was relaxing time also, in the early mornings, on breaks, and in the evenings at the cabin. Pumpkin spice muffins, Mtn. Dew, endless games of "Egyptian Rat Race" and "Taboo" (with our own adjusted rules to fit our mood and number of players :) ), times of S.O.A.P. journaling and sharing, and lots of just talking and enjoying each other's company.
It was the first trip without Bro. Mike. And it was different.
Randomness and other lessons to remember from this trip:
1. Overhearing the 'Only-Christian-music-for-30-days-challenge' discussion on the Sunday afternoon ride over - what a blessing!
2. Games with Trissy, Joy, Abigail, and Piper, and Abigail and Piper doing "John-Jacob-Jingleheimer-Smith" (song and 'introduction') on the trip over.
3. Epic Taboo games Monday night, including a sibling-set against sibling-set (Law and Piper vs. Trissy and me), with the others coming and going.
4. Personal thought, "I hate it when I let other people throw me into inner turmoil. Christ is all that matters. Why can’t I be content?!"
5. "I feel like pulling stuff up and stomping on things." -Piper, expressing her enthusiasm about our demolition work Tuesday.
6. Going to church Wednesday night where Landon attends. Encouraging, old-fashioned sermon where the preacher used alot of scripture and didn't apologize about having his audience use their Bibles so much.
7. Personal thought, "You haven't got to follow the crowd. Make up your OWN mind."
8. Personal thought, "That great moment when God shows you how He's been working in the life of someone you've been praying for - indescribable."
9. Joy, Abigail, Piper, Trissy and me and our late-night hilarious game of Taboo while Joy was giving hair-curls.
10. "Look at that lil' baby foot!" -Law, on Autumn's fist 'footprint' in the condensation on the bus window.
11. Sitting curled up on the couch in front of the fire with Piper and Trissy and Joy, telling each other random things and stories about ourselves.
12. The "I'm Thinking Of A Man/Woman/Place In The Bible" game on the way back Thursday.
After getting back into town Thursday evening from the mission trip, I left about noon Friday going with the youth music group to a near-by state to play for a week-end camp sponsored by the church The Grandparents are part of. Justice went as our driver, since he was on the insurance to drive Victory Rd.'s 15-passenger bus, and simply because anything Austin and Archer are part of just isn't complete without Justice :) . Justice, Archer, Julia, Simon and I went on the bus, pulling the trailer with all the instruments and equipment about noon. Austin and Law couldn't get off work until about 3:00, so they were going to come together when they got off. Ava and Noel went also, since their husbands were going :) , but Ava didn't get off work until later in the evening, so Noel stayed in town and rode with her so she wouldn't be driving alone.
It was a really great week-end. Opportunities to share times of praise with other believers, encourage those listening, and be encouraged ourselves by the warmth and enthusiasm of our audience. Times of bonding - the eight of us. Bitter-sweet times - knowing this was Archer's last 'act of leadership' as head of the group, knowing Justice and Noel are looking for the Lord's next place of service for them and may be moving on soon as well. Times of fun - pretend 'zombie' invasions and escapes, music practice and practice and practice, 'the girls' (Noel and Ava) hunting up a gas station to sooth the boys' Mtn. Dew withdrawals and my longing for something healthy to eat, Simon and Law's (and Justice's) bunk-room acrobatics during free time while the rest of us tried to catch up on some much-needed rest, supper at 'Maria's' Mexican restaurant (that took longer to be served than to eat) and mean jokes (meant more to tease me and raise my protest than anything else) on the way back Saturday night. Precious, priceless, blessed memories.
The next day, Sunday, was Bro. Mike and his family's last Sunday at Victory Rd. before leaving as missionaries to the Philippines, and he'd asked that our group do the music service so he could see and hear us one last time. It would actually be the whole church's last time to witness our group lead the music - Archer would be moving the next day to the university. Dear Austin's charge to us as we gathered to pray before the service began: "Let's play our hearts out. This is for Bro. Mike and for Archer." And we did. For our God - Who is our Reason for everything - for our youth pastor - who had poured his spirit into loving and guiding us - and for our friend - our brother.
I don't think I'll ever forget this weekend. One of the most bitter-sweet of my life. I pray I won't.
The next Wednesday night was my turn to teach the lesson with the middle-schoolers. And Bro. Mike's family's last day here. Lots of church folks hung around after the classes were over, exchanging last-minute conversations and telling them good-bye. Trissy and I went next door to their house and visited a while after everyone else had left. They would be going to the airport about 2:00 A.M., so were not planning on going to bed, and it was just so hard to finally say good-bye. I wouldn't let myself think about it being any other than a normal Wednesday night 'bye until after we left.
Separations are hard, but I'm thankful too - I know both Bro. Mike and his wife have been wanting to do mission work, and now the Lord has opened up the way for them to, and for Camille to go with them. That's a whole nother amazing story!
I'm looking forward to hearing about the adventures this new chapter holds for their lives.
Friday (the 18th), two days later, Victory Rd.'s youth group (including Trissy and me) went to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee for the Strength To Stand week-end youth conference. I must admit, by this time I was so tired both in body and in mind that I almost didn't want to go. I had looked forward to it for months, but then found out that several of our college group and closest friends (not to mention Bro. Mike) weren't going to get to go. And with all the good-byes I'd been having to say the past few weeks, I almost had a "What's the point?" mentality. Which is not like me. I don't 'give up', and I hate defeat. I'm telling you, I was just worn out. And it was catching up with me. But then a thought came to mind: Why was I going on this trip in the first place? Was it because I wanted to be close to people, or because I wanted to grow closer to the Lord? Got my attention and kinda helped put things in perspective. Then the day we left, I saw something that one of the teenagers had written concerning their feelings about the trip: 'About to head out to Tennessee... don't want to go. But, I might as well go with an open heart.' I don't know why they didn't want to go, but what a great attitude! I was so encouraged, and resolved to go with my heart open to what the Lord might do in and for me on the trip.
I was not disappointed. In fact, I fell in love all over again with the pure goodness of God. Three sound, timely sermons from thought-provoking preachers; music - some of which I didn't care for - but plenty that lifted me up and carried me away with it's beauty and spiritual richness; fun and joking and camaraderie I enjoyed with a variety of the members of the group; Bro. Nick, the new youth pastor, bravely and successfully learning to captain the 'youth group ship' through the unpredictable waves of our crazy personalities; wholesome mixture of friendships and interaction between older youth and younger youth, adults and youth, newcomers and established 'regulars', etc.; merry chaos as the sounds and activities of almost 40 people filled the cabin we stayed in, and peaceful quiet (in which you could hear the clock ticking on the mantle) as those same nearly 40 people spent personal time in Bible study and prayer.
So, that's January in a nutshell. I have one more thing to tell about that would still be "this past month", though it was yesterday, the 3rd of February. But it's late and I'm in the living room typing and my mom will be up in a few minutes wondering why on earth I'm not in bed yet :) . So I'll save it for later. I'll end with a small thing that provoked big thoughts for me today.
I'm reading Jules Verne's "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea" for the first time. With my love of adventure and reading, especially the good old 'classics', you'd think I'd have read that one by now. But I recently 'discovered' the little library at VRCA and have started taking advantage of it. I just finished chapter 20 - "The Gulf Stream" - and the account of the cyclone. As I put the book down, I thought about "storms", both physical and spiritual. At times, I've found myself subconsciously wishing I could know how my strength would hold up during a real storm. One must be careful what one wishes for, even subconsciously. This past summer (the pain of Mrs. Renae's family leaving Victory Rd. and the withdrawal, so to speak, of Bro. Dennis's family), and this past month (the departure of Bro. Mike's family and of Archer, and the possibility of Justice and Noel, and Austin and Ava moving on also) seemed almost to have been samples - tests of strength the Lord allowed to give me an idea; to try my courage. I was/have been appalled at my lack of resilience in the face of these losses. If it hadn't been for the presence and encouragement of others, would I have held up at all? All these thoughts passed through my head in only a moment, but as I asked this last question, immediately in response came a quiet Whisper in my heart, "Don't worry about that 'what if'. There will always be someone...something. I will never leave you alone." And right away a verse came to mind from Psalm 34 that I'd randomly read this morning: "Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all."
SOLI DEO GLORIA!
This post is the past month in a nutshell. More detailed posts on each event will (hopefully; eventually) come. But until I get time ("time"? What is that again?) to do the type of more detailed posts I want, this will suffice to keep anyone interested at least somewhat up-to-date on my life of late. And boy, it's seemed like a lifetime in a month...
January began with a bang and never seemed to slow down. The sixth through the tenth, Trissy and I were gone on a church mission/service trip to a neighboring state, to do manual labor at a children's home and ranch. Victory Rd. took a group last January, and we went, and I knew I wanted to go back. The group this year consisted of the three youngest S. kids (Law, Abigail, and Piper), Joy, Autumn, Trissy and me, and four other men and women of the church. Landon met us there for part of the time, and it was so good to spend some time with him! Oliver and his wife were on a trip, so we didn't see them this time.
We helped rip up flooring in two of the houses/doorms, we moved furniture and other belongings - from the houses that were going to be renovated, into the new houses - we did a thorough 'spring cleaning' job, etc. But there was relaxing time also, in the early mornings, on breaks, and in the evenings at the cabin. Pumpkin spice muffins, Mtn. Dew, endless games of "Egyptian Rat Race" and "Taboo" (with our own adjusted rules to fit our mood and number of players :) ), times of S.O.A.P. journaling and sharing, and lots of just talking and enjoying each other's company.
It was the first trip without Bro. Mike. And it was different.
Randomness and other lessons to remember from this trip:
1. Overhearing the 'Only-Christian-music-for-30-days-challenge' discussion on the Sunday afternoon ride over - what a blessing!
2. Games with Trissy, Joy, Abigail, and Piper, and Abigail and Piper doing "John-Jacob-Jingleheimer-Smith" (song and 'introduction') on the trip over.
3. Epic Taboo games Monday night, including a sibling-set against sibling-set (Law and Piper vs. Trissy and me), with the others coming and going.
4. Personal thought, "I hate it when I let other people throw me into inner turmoil. Christ is all that matters. Why can’t I be content?!"
5. "I feel like pulling stuff up and stomping on things." -Piper, expressing her enthusiasm about our demolition work Tuesday.
6. Going to church Wednesday night where Landon attends. Encouraging, old-fashioned sermon where the preacher used alot of scripture and didn't apologize about having his audience use their Bibles so much.
7. Personal thought, "You haven't got to follow the crowd. Make up your OWN mind."
8. Personal thought, "That great moment when God shows you how He's been working in the life of someone you've been praying for - indescribable."
9. Joy, Abigail, Piper, Trissy and me and our late-night hilarious game of Taboo while Joy was giving hair-curls.
10. "Look at that lil' baby foot!" -Law, on Autumn's fist 'footprint' in the condensation on the bus window.
11. Sitting curled up on the couch in front of the fire with Piper and Trissy and Joy, telling each other random things and stories about ourselves.
12. The "I'm Thinking Of A Man/Woman/Place In The Bible" game on the way back Thursday.
After getting back into town Thursday evening from the mission trip, I left about noon Friday going with the youth music group to a near-by state to play for a week-end camp sponsored by the church The Grandparents are part of. Justice went as our driver, since he was on the insurance to drive Victory Rd.'s 15-passenger bus, and simply because anything Austin and Archer are part of just isn't complete without Justice :) . Justice, Archer, Julia, Simon and I went on the bus, pulling the trailer with all the instruments and equipment about noon. Austin and Law couldn't get off work until about 3:00, so they were going to come together when they got off. Ava and Noel went also, since their husbands were going :) , but Ava didn't get off work until later in the evening, so Noel stayed in town and rode with her so she wouldn't be driving alone.
It was a really great week-end. Opportunities to share times of praise with other believers, encourage those listening, and be encouraged ourselves by the warmth and enthusiasm of our audience. Times of bonding - the eight of us. Bitter-sweet times - knowing this was Archer's last 'act of leadership' as head of the group, knowing Justice and Noel are looking for the Lord's next place of service for them and may be moving on soon as well. Times of fun - pretend 'zombie' invasions and escapes, music practice and practice and practice, 'the girls' (Noel and Ava) hunting up a gas station to sooth the boys' Mtn. Dew withdrawals and my longing for something healthy to eat, Simon and Law's (and Justice's) bunk-room acrobatics during free time while the rest of us tried to catch up on some much-needed rest, supper at 'Maria's' Mexican restaurant (that took longer to be served than to eat) and mean jokes (meant more to tease me and raise my protest than anything else) on the way back Saturday night. Precious, priceless, blessed memories.
The next day, Sunday, was Bro. Mike and his family's last Sunday at Victory Rd. before leaving as missionaries to the Philippines, and he'd asked that our group do the music service so he could see and hear us one last time. It would actually be the whole church's last time to witness our group lead the music - Archer would be moving the next day to the university. Dear Austin's charge to us as we gathered to pray before the service began: "Let's play our hearts out. This is for Bro. Mike and for Archer." And we did. For our God - Who is our Reason for everything - for our youth pastor - who had poured his spirit into loving and guiding us - and for our friend - our brother.
I don't think I'll ever forget this weekend. One of the most bitter-sweet of my life. I pray I won't.
The next Wednesday night was my turn to teach the lesson with the middle-schoolers. And Bro. Mike's family's last day here. Lots of church folks hung around after the classes were over, exchanging last-minute conversations and telling them good-bye. Trissy and I went next door to their house and visited a while after everyone else had left. They would be going to the airport about 2:00 A.M., so were not planning on going to bed, and it was just so hard to finally say good-bye. I wouldn't let myself think about it being any other than a normal Wednesday night 'bye until after we left.
Separations are hard, but I'm thankful too - I know both Bro. Mike and his wife have been wanting to do mission work, and now the Lord has opened up the way for them to, and for Camille to go with them. That's a whole nother amazing story!
I'm looking forward to hearing about the adventures this new chapter holds for their lives.
Friday (the 18th), two days later, Victory Rd.'s youth group (including Trissy and me) went to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee for the Strength To Stand week-end youth conference. I must admit, by this time I was so tired both in body and in mind that I almost didn't want to go. I had looked forward to it for months, but then found out that several of our college group and closest friends (not to mention Bro. Mike) weren't going to get to go. And with all the good-byes I'd been having to say the past few weeks, I almost had a "What's the point?" mentality. Which is not like me. I don't 'give up', and I hate defeat. I'm telling you, I was just worn out. And it was catching up with me. But then a thought came to mind: Why was I going on this trip in the first place? Was it because I wanted to be close to people, or because I wanted to grow closer to the Lord? Got my attention and kinda helped put things in perspective. Then the day we left, I saw something that one of the teenagers had written concerning their feelings about the trip: 'About to head out to Tennessee... don't want to go. But, I might as well go with an open heart.' I don't know why they didn't want to go, but what a great attitude! I was so encouraged, and resolved to go with my heart open to what the Lord might do in and for me on the trip.
I was not disappointed. In fact, I fell in love all over again with the pure goodness of God. Three sound, timely sermons from thought-provoking preachers; music - some of which I didn't care for - but plenty that lifted me up and carried me away with it's beauty and spiritual richness; fun and joking and camaraderie I enjoyed with a variety of the members of the group; Bro. Nick, the new youth pastor, bravely and successfully learning to captain the 'youth group ship' through the unpredictable waves of our crazy personalities; wholesome mixture of friendships and interaction between older youth and younger youth, adults and youth, newcomers and established 'regulars', etc.; merry chaos as the sounds and activities of almost 40 people filled the cabin we stayed in, and peaceful quiet (in which you could hear the clock ticking on the mantle) as those same nearly 40 people spent personal time in Bible study and prayer.
So, that's January in a nutshell. I have one more thing to tell about that would still be "this past month", though it was yesterday, the 3rd of February. But it's late and I'm in the living room typing and my mom will be up in a few minutes wondering why on earth I'm not in bed yet :) . So I'll save it for later. I'll end with a small thing that provoked big thoughts for me today.
I'm reading Jules Verne's "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea" for the first time. With my love of adventure and reading, especially the good old 'classics', you'd think I'd have read that one by now. But I recently 'discovered' the little library at VRCA and have started taking advantage of it. I just finished chapter 20 - "The Gulf Stream" - and the account of the cyclone. As I put the book down, I thought about "storms", both physical and spiritual. At times, I've found myself subconsciously wishing I could know how my strength would hold up during a real storm. One must be careful what one wishes for, even subconsciously. This past summer (the pain of Mrs. Renae's family leaving Victory Rd. and the withdrawal, so to speak, of Bro. Dennis's family), and this past month (the departure of Bro. Mike's family and of Archer, and the possibility of Justice and Noel, and Austin and Ava moving on also) seemed almost to have been samples - tests of strength the Lord allowed to give me an idea; to try my courage. I was/have been appalled at my lack of resilience in the face of these losses. If it hadn't been for the presence and encouragement of others, would I have held up at all? All these thoughts passed through my head in only a moment, but as I asked this last question, immediately in response came a quiet Whisper in my heart, "Don't worry about that 'what if'. There will always be someone...something. I will never leave you alone." And right away a verse came to mind from Psalm 34 that I'd randomly read this morning: "Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all."
SOLI DEO GLORIA!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Looking Forward
I must confess, in many respects I am not looking forward to January. In fact, I'm dreading it. The new year is expected to bring many changes. And not all of them are happy ones.
I don't like change anyway. At least not to a large extent. I like things to get comfortable - and stay that way.
A few things this January is bringing that I am not looking forward to:
(1) Bro. Mike and his wife and Camille leaving as missionaries to the Philippines.
(2) A new youth pastor and his family coming to take Bro. Mike's family's place.
(3) Justice and Noel (who'd applied to fill Bro. Mike's position but were not chosen) possibly moving to the 'big city' a few hours north to be over the youth ministry at a church there.
(4) Archer leaving the youth music group to go to college an hour away, and therefore also
(5) The beginning of the disintegration of the youth music group as it is now: Austin, Archer, me, Julia, Simon, and Law.
A few things this January is bringing that I am looking forward to:
(1) Another church mission trip to the children's home and ranch in a neighboring state.
(2) A week-end retreat/youth conference led by the church The Grandparents attend. The youth pastor has asked our youth music group to be the music leaders for it.
(3) The Strength to Stand conference in Tennessee.
Besides these things, I have a mild but uncharacteristic fear when I think of the coming year. So much has changed this past year that I so completely did not see coming. Good and bad.
I have an indomitable hope that the new year will bring the kind of change that will move us as a church back to the blessed ground we stood on at the beginning of 2012, and even move us higher! For that is the goal - higher, always higher; in service for the Lord and growth in His ways.
The struggles and losses and heartbreak of this past summer, especially coming after the soaring gladnesses that there had been... I shudder when I look mentally at the mountain that is before us, taunting us to try to overcome. Us as a church. Us as individuals.
Where are we going? Will we be strong in the face of discouragement or worse? What does 2013 bring us? When Dec. 31, 2013 comes and we turn to look at the past year for the last time, will we see loss or gain? Victory or defeat? Tears of joy or tears of sadness? Black clouds or bright sunlight?
And so I fight my battle against worry. Against fear.
I am afraid. I am hopeful, but I am afraid. Is it wrong to admit it? I don't think so. For I know in Whom I trust. I know my Lord has it all planned out, and nothing that happens, or doesn't, is outside of His doing and control.
God help us be true!
I don't like change anyway. At least not to a large extent. I like things to get comfortable - and stay that way.
A few things this January is bringing that I am not looking forward to:
(1) Bro. Mike and his wife and Camille leaving as missionaries to the Philippines.
(2) A new youth pastor and his family coming to take Bro. Mike's family's place.
(3) Justice and Noel (who'd applied to fill Bro. Mike's position but were not chosen) possibly moving to the 'big city' a few hours north to be over the youth ministry at a church there.
(4) Archer leaving the youth music group to go to college an hour away, and therefore also
(5) The beginning of the disintegration of the youth music group as it is now: Austin, Archer, me, Julia, Simon, and Law.
A few things this January is bringing that I am looking forward to:
(1) Another church mission trip to the children's home and ranch in a neighboring state.
(2) A week-end retreat/youth conference led by the church The Grandparents attend. The youth pastor has asked our youth music group to be the music leaders for it.
(3) The Strength to Stand conference in Tennessee.
Besides these things, I have a mild but uncharacteristic fear when I think of the coming year. So much has changed this past year that I so completely did not see coming. Good and bad.
I have an indomitable hope that the new year will bring the kind of change that will move us as a church back to the blessed ground we stood on at the beginning of 2012, and even move us higher! For that is the goal - higher, always higher; in service for the Lord and growth in His ways.
The struggles and losses and heartbreak of this past summer, especially coming after the soaring gladnesses that there had been... I shudder when I look mentally at the mountain that is before us, taunting us to try to overcome. Us as a church. Us as individuals.
Where are we going? Will we be strong in the face of discouragement or worse? What does 2013 bring us? When Dec. 31, 2013 comes and we turn to look at the past year for the last time, will we see loss or gain? Victory or defeat? Tears of joy or tears of sadness? Black clouds or bright sunlight?
And so I fight my battle against worry. Against fear.
I am afraid. I am hopeful, but I am afraid. Is it wrong to admit it? I don't think so. For I know in Whom I trust. I know my Lord has it all planned out, and nothing that happens, or doesn't, is outside of His doing and control.
God help us be true!
Friday, November 30, 2012
"5 Small Things Friday" No. 61
Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".
For this week, here is my list:
1. Sight: First Christmas Lights Of The Season
2. Hearing: Noel's Concern
3. Smell: Plaid Shirt
4. Taste:
5. Touch: Peeling almonds (sat.)
The stories behind the list:
1. On my way to Justice and Noel's house for the college supper and fellowship Sunday night, I passed a house decorated tastefully for Christmas with strings of twinkling lights. The first lights of the season, and I felt a happy rush of the Christmas spirit.
2. In Sunday School I must have been a little more quiet than usual, because during a lull Noel suddenly looked at me and asked, "Are you okay?"
I was a little surprised, for of all recent Sundays, this day my heart was more at peace about things than usual, and all my thoughts were restful ones. But I told her laughingly that I guessed I was fine. She shrugged, almost self-consciously, and said I just didn't seem to be smiling much.
Her friendly concern warmed my heart.
3. I got out a plaid shirt to wear Wednesday night that I hadn't worn since I went with the church group to the children's ranch in January for that mission trip. The shirt still smelled like the washing detergent we used on our clothes there, and as I put it on the scent washed me back to those wonderful memories.
4.
5. Am I the only weird person out there who likes to put almonds in their mouth, and try to peel the brown skin off with just their teeth and tongue? I've enjoyed doing that since I was a little kid, and Saturday I wanted a healthy snack that would take my mind off of how much I wanted an unhealthy one. So I went and got a mouthful of almonds and spent the next hour or so peeling them as I went about my Saturday afternoon/evening routine.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Thursday Night College Bible Study Ups And Downs
Wow. So our Thursday Night College-age Bible Study has been through alot since it's beginning approximately three years ago. Started off a little slow, but then began to pick up momentum, and for a couple of years, it only got better and better as the months went on. We had great victories, times of learning and sharing, and bonding as a group of between fifteen and twenty. We had downs too, times of discouragement and disappointment, but we always grew from it, and the Lord always helped us bounce back; if not in numbers, in quality of friendships and deep learning of Him.
Then last year, for various reasons, a slow slump seemed to start setting in, and at the beginning of this year we began shrinking by leaps and bounds. By last month, it was down to five people.
I've struggled with it quite a bit. More than I've let on to others. I love our Thursday night Bible study. In that class I've learned so much, loved so much, hurt, grown, talked alot, and hopefully listened more. My mind has been opened to concepts I'd never even thought about, though I've been raised on the Bible, and been to church all my life. I feel like my dependence on, love for, and awe of the Lord has increased exponentially because of that class. Not to mention the precious people I've spent this close fellowship with, nearly every week for three years, who have become more dear to me than I can express, though I sometimes try. I mourned to see the group crumbling around the edges. But it was when pieces started dropping out of the core that it broke my heart. Dear Aron, Henley, and also Austin, have been faithfully keeping on, leading us forward, trying to plan with their hope and eyes on future re-invigoration.
But I know they must be discouraged.
In our last couple of meetings a few weeks ago, we decided to change things up a little, and start dividing into two groups (male and female), doing studies specific to each group. So that we could still have the group fellowship and interaction, we'd meet together for the first fifteen or twenty minutes, divide up to do our studies for about an hour, then meet back again for the last fifteen or so minutes and have a group prayer time together.
I honestly had no idea how that would work. I mean, there were five of us. Aron and Henley were hoping the new plan would encourage some of the new high-school seniors and others to start coming, who might be a little intimidated by a group, but would enjoy being part of a smaller just-men or just-ladies group. But though I tried to be hopeful for their sakes, I must admit I was inwardly very skeptical. I'm still not sure about it, but after tonight, I'm definitely encouraged.
After having Bible School three weeks ago, and being in *Illinois for two Thursdays (Bible Study was canceled those days), today I was SO looking forward to being back at Bible Study on a Thursday night, no matter how discouraged I was!
We've been so busy today, and with only a few minutes until we needed to leave for town, I called to Trissy to make sure she was getting ready. She came slowly into my room where I was making a mad dash for my Bible and a hairbrush, and told me she'd decided not to go tonight. All I could think was, "Poor Aron and Henley." But I didn't have time to question her, so I just went on alone. When I got there, the only other vehicle was Aron and Henley's truck, but when I went around the corner of the building, found that door locked, and came back around to go in another one, Justice and Noel's vehicle was there! I was so excited! They hadn't been to Bible Study since they moved back!
I went upstairs to the youth room where we meet, and found not only Aron, Henley, baby Timothy, Justice, and Noel, but also Randy, Law, and Simon!! At first I thought maybe Law and Simon had just been there to play their instruments together for a while, and would leave, but it soon became evident they meant to stay. In just a few minutes, Bro. Mike came in too.
The evening went really well. And this was just the first night trying this new set-up. But to see those new faces, and to have long-absent old members back with us, was a boost and encouragement I cannot describe.
I don't know what the future of the class is, but I believe the Lord can and will still do great things with it. I hope the boys stay, and that some of the other members will come back, and that we can reach out to new ones. But above all, I hope we that are there, will learn more, live richer, and grow deeper in our lives for Christ.
*More on that in another post.
Then last year, for various reasons, a slow slump seemed to start setting in, and at the beginning of this year we began shrinking by leaps and bounds. By last month, it was down to five people.
I've struggled with it quite a bit. More than I've let on to others. I love our Thursday night Bible study. In that class I've learned so much, loved so much, hurt, grown, talked alot, and hopefully listened more. My mind has been opened to concepts I'd never even thought about, though I've been raised on the Bible, and been to church all my life. I feel like my dependence on, love for, and awe of the Lord has increased exponentially because of that class. Not to mention the precious people I've spent this close fellowship with, nearly every week for three years, who have become more dear to me than I can express, though I sometimes try. I mourned to see the group crumbling around the edges. But it was when pieces started dropping out of the core that it broke my heart. Dear Aron, Henley, and also Austin, have been faithfully keeping on, leading us forward, trying to plan with their hope and eyes on future re-invigoration.
But I know they must be discouraged.
In our last couple of meetings a few weeks ago, we decided to change things up a little, and start dividing into two groups (male and female), doing studies specific to each group. So that we could still have the group fellowship and interaction, we'd meet together for the first fifteen or twenty minutes, divide up to do our studies for about an hour, then meet back again for the last fifteen or so minutes and have a group prayer time together.
I honestly had no idea how that would work. I mean, there were five of us. Aron and Henley were hoping the new plan would encourage some of the new high-school seniors and others to start coming, who might be a little intimidated by a group, but would enjoy being part of a smaller just-men or just-ladies group. But though I tried to be hopeful for their sakes, I must admit I was inwardly very skeptical. I'm still not sure about it, but after tonight, I'm definitely encouraged.
After having Bible School three weeks ago, and being in *Illinois for two Thursdays (Bible Study was canceled those days), today I was SO looking forward to being back at Bible Study on a Thursday night, no matter how discouraged I was!
We've been so busy today, and with only a few minutes until we needed to leave for town, I called to Trissy to make sure she was getting ready. She came slowly into my room where I was making a mad dash for my Bible and a hairbrush, and told me she'd decided not to go tonight. All I could think was, "Poor Aron and Henley." But I didn't have time to question her, so I just went on alone. When I got there, the only other vehicle was Aron and Henley's truck, but when I went around the corner of the building, found that door locked, and came back around to go in another one, Justice and Noel's vehicle was there! I was so excited! They hadn't been to Bible Study since they moved back!
I went upstairs to the youth room where we meet, and found not only Aron, Henley, baby Timothy, Justice, and Noel, but also Randy, Law, and Simon!! At first I thought maybe Law and Simon had just been there to play their instruments together for a while, and would leave, but it soon became evident they meant to stay. In just a few minutes, Bro. Mike came in too.
The evening went really well. And this was just the first night trying this new set-up. But to see those new faces, and to have long-absent old members back with us, was a boost and encouragement I cannot describe.
I don't know what the future of the class is, but I believe the Lord can and will still do great things with it. I hope the boys stay, and that some of the other members will come back, and that we can reach out to new ones. But above all, I hope we that are there, will learn more, live richer, and grow deeper in our lives for Christ.
*More on that in another post.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
January Children's Ranch Mission Trip
The 2nd through the 7th, a group from Victory Rd. took a mission trip of sorts to a children's home and ranch in a near-by state. The home is for children who either are orphans, or are from homes where the parent(s) are not able to care for them, for various reasons. Victory Road has been involved in this ministry almost from the time it was started, and has provided the physical labor to help clear the land that the two houses (one for boys and one for girls) are built on. On this trip, we disassembled an old barn in order to reuse the lumber (a much more tedious job that you might think at first), and also did alot of brush-clearing and firewood chopping, loading, and stacking. This was also the first trip that Trissy and I have made to the ranch, though we've heard so much about it, it was already a dear place to us.
We had a total of 13 people go from the church, and Justice drove over from the state he and Noel live in now, and met us there. The Bible college where Oliver and Landon are is right in the same neighborhood as the ranch, so we enjoyed some rare time with them as well.
Of our church college friends I've written about over the years on this blog, the ones that were together for a few hours at the ranch were: Aron, Justice, Landon, Oliver, Russell, Lindy, Autumn, Trissy, and me. If Austin, Archer, Toby, Henley, Noel, Lora, and Camille had been able to come, the whole gang would have been together again - if only for a short time. As it was though, several of us mentioned how it seemed like old times again, especially with Justice, Landon, and Oliver there, who we see so rarely since they live out-of-state now.
Bro. Mike and his wife also went, as well as Aron's younger brother Simon, Archer's younger sister Abigail, another lady, another man, and 'my brown-eyed boy'.
'My brown-eyed boy'. I haven't mentioned him before. I don't really know why I think of him with that title, except that, 1) he has brown eyes (duh :) ) and 2) through his family's attendance at Victory Rd., but even more through my interaction with him because of my job at VRCA where he goes to school, I have had the privilege of becoming his friend. I feel toward him what I might feel toward a little brother. His father is unsaved and in the military, and so is gone overseas for months or years at a time. With his father's absence, 'my brown-eyed boy' has been forced to become the 'man of the house', in a sense. His mother is a very capable and sturdy lady (she is also a teacher at VRCA), but with his two younger brothers, there is plenty of weight that she has to share with his young shoulders.
He is in his later teens, and very capable, but without that strong Christian father figure in his life, he struggles. It seems at times that he swings between an overwhelming desire and effort to be the good strong man that would make his Christian friends and his father and mother proud, and the young boy whose teenage problems threaten to swallow him whole.
But I love that part of him that is trying so hard to become a Godly man. I thank the Lord that He has allowed me into the position of influencing this young man as an older friend. It's as if the Lord has given me a great burden for this boy, and has graciously allowed me to actually be part of helping him. For, for some strange reason, he seems to really respect me, value my opinion on different things, and almost seems to look to me as an older sibling, certainly as a friend.
With his dad being in the military, it came up a few weeks ago that they may have to move away from us and to another state farther up north. He seems to be taking it pretty hard, and several of us are praying that somehow they will be able to stay.
Several times in the past year, when there has been some project or mission-trip-fundraiser that the church has been involved in, I have been so impressed and thankful for how he has stepped up and been a responsible example, young gentleman, and hard worker. It's like he gets into 'beast mode' (as they say around here) and gets going so hard a freight train couldn't stop him! And boy, he really threw himself into the work on this trip!
I took minimal journal notes on the trip. Seeing as how we got up before the crack of dawn each morning to grab breakfast and be ready to get to work when the sun came up, then fell into bed dog-tired every night, besides all the fun and fellowship and goofing off with friends in between, I didn't have time to journal like I had wanted to. But I did record a few things each day. Thoughts, prayers, things to remember, and bits from the great devotionals Justice challenged us with each night in front of the fire.
Here they are, from my heart, to paper (or, "computer screen", I suppose is more accurate):
"Jan. 4, 2012 –
Prayers:
Dear God help my precious boys. Make Men of my boys! Help my brown-eyed boy now. He’s got so much on his young mind; so many changes, so many responsibilities, so many disappointments. I love my boys and girls so much!! Thank you for loving me. I could not love them or anyone or anything else, if You had not first shown me what love really is. Help me show my love in appropriate yet impacting ways. Help me to encourage my friends and those who look up to and expect so much from me. Help me to behave myself in appropriate ways, in integrity, in wisdom, in Godliness, so as to have the most influence and impact on these dear lives as possible for Your glory's sake.
Jan. 5, 2012 –
Things to remember:
'Bucket brigade' log loading. ATV-driving lessons from our resident sidekick, Russell, and 'my brown-eyed boy'. Driving an ATV and trailer for the first time (and, I might add, loaded down with logs and friends). Growing closer to brothers. So thankful for a kindred-spirit sister-friend (Lindy). Silly videoing. Learning everybody's middle names (or first names, as the case may be). Being silly with friends. Going Snipe hunting for the first time in my life.
Justice’s devotional – Drawing near to God:
The more you are willing to spend time with God, the more He will reveal Himself to you. The Father went to meet the prodigal son when he came home. When the dove came back to Noah, he reached out to take it back in.
James 4:8 – "Draw nigh to God, and He will draw night to you..." It means just what it says.
Luke 15:11-32 – Verse 20 references Acts 2:39. Verse 21 references Ps. 51:4.
Gen. 8:9 – I have always found the picture painted in this verse to be so touching.
Isaiah 58:9(a) – Another wonderful word picture. Like a lonely or hurt young person, seeking the help and/or consolation of a trusted friend or counselor.
Heb. 13:5 – Let your lifestyle be without covetousness. And be content with what you have already been given. Because, He has said, 'I will never leave you or abandon you.'
How do we as Christians draw near to God?
1) Turn from sin. Heb 4:14 and 16
2) Praise Him. Ps. 147:1
3) Read and trust His Word. Ps. 119:114
4) In faith and hope lay hold of His promises. Ps. 119:162
Prayers:
Oh Father help 'my brown-eyed boy'! Everything is here for him. It's such a great unknown he will be stepping into if they go. Please leave him and his family here with us. Or, please take care of them while they’re gone. Help me know what to do about [going on an overseas mission trip with the church this summer].
Jan. 6, 2012 –
"Faithful are the wounds of a friend..." I experienced the truth of this verse firsthand this afternoon. In his characteristic good-naturedly bossy way, Aron pointed out that often I am mean to Trissy in the way I talk to her. We had a whole little conversation about it, and it really really hurt. Especially when he picks on his younger brother Simon, and Russell, and me, and it’s always a joke or teasing then. Why can’t he see that I'm just teasing Trissy the way the gang teases me and I tease them?! But I got to thinking over the examples he gave. And yes, as he pointed out, to an onlooker who didn't know the people or the situation, it could appear that I was very rude and mean. Especially when she's so soft-spoken in public. So I hope I can take his advice in the way that he meant it, learn from it, and get over feeling sorry for myself.
I have been so proud of my younger boys (Simon and 'my brown-eyed boy') on this trip! They have both behaved in a very respectful and mostly ;) responsible way, and have conducted themselves in a commendable manner.
Abigail also, though the youngest on this trip, has pulled her weight and kept up valiantly, being our 'shy one', but so sweet!
Prayers:
Dear God, make true men of my boys! Ladies of my girls!
Keep, bless, and protect 'my brown-eyed boy', physically, spiritually, emotionally... in every way! If his family must leave, make him great through this. He’s so small, but I can see in him the potential to become so big. Oh God make him a great man!!
Justice’s devotional - One With Christ:
John 14:19 – "...because I live, ye shall live also." Christ is our reason for living. If it were not for Him - His life, His death, His rising from the grave, His love, His gift – life would not be worth living. Literally. There would be nothing worth being alive for! Because He lives, we have Heaven, we have Life, we have Joy, we have Purpose.
Colossians 3:3 – We are dead. Our life is Christ. He is IN us!! As Justice said, we are not light bulbs waiting to be screwed in when an old one burns out. We have the Light IN us! Do others see the Light? As Abigail said, "Live in such a way that those who don’t know God, but know you, will come to know God, because they know you." Dear God may others see the Light from seeing me live!!
~
After the devotional each night, we all would separate, each finding a little corner of the cabin to read over, think over, and pray over what Justice had talked about that night. I usually curled up in one of the chairs or couches in front of the fire to do my thinking, and when I was done, I would journal until the stirring and hushed conversation from the others signaled that everyone else was done too.
Then we'd play games, talk, or go to bed, depending on how tired we were :) .
The last night, all the children and both sets of house parents met in the boys' house and hosted supper for us. It was such a privilege to get to meet and interact with all the kids that we'd come to help! We had a great evening of getting to know them, and ended the night with an epic game of Pledge-the-super-long-wood-floor-hallway-and-slide-down-it-in-your-stocking-feet, in which a few brave adults also participated :D ! Evidently that's what they do for entertainment on Friday nights at the ranch! Sounded like a wholesome winner to me, as long as you have helmets and pads ;D !
All-in-all it was a great week of exhausting but extremely fulfilling physical labor, spiritual renewal, and friendship strengthening. So many memories made! Memories I think I will treasure my life through.
We had a total of 13 people go from the church, and Justice drove over from the state he and Noel live in now, and met us there. The Bible college where Oliver and Landon are is right in the same neighborhood as the ranch, so we enjoyed some rare time with them as well.
Of our church college friends I've written about over the years on this blog, the ones that were together for a few hours at the ranch were: Aron, Justice, Landon, Oliver, Russell, Lindy, Autumn, Trissy, and me. If Austin, Archer, Toby, Henley, Noel, Lora, and Camille had been able to come, the whole gang would have been together again - if only for a short time. As it was though, several of us mentioned how it seemed like old times again, especially with Justice, Landon, and Oliver there, who we see so rarely since they live out-of-state now.
Bro. Mike and his wife also went, as well as Aron's younger brother Simon, Archer's younger sister Abigail, another lady, another man, and 'my brown-eyed boy'.
'My brown-eyed boy'. I haven't mentioned him before. I don't really know why I think of him with that title, except that, 1) he has brown eyes (duh :) ) and 2) through his family's attendance at Victory Rd., but even more through my interaction with him because of my job at VRCA where he goes to school, I have had the privilege of becoming his friend. I feel toward him what I might feel toward a little brother. His father is unsaved and in the military, and so is gone overseas for months or years at a time. With his father's absence, 'my brown-eyed boy' has been forced to become the 'man of the house', in a sense. His mother is a very capable and sturdy lady (she is also a teacher at VRCA), but with his two younger brothers, there is plenty of weight that she has to share with his young shoulders.
He is in his later teens, and very capable, but without that strong Christian father figure in his life, he struggles. It seems at times that he swings between an overwhelming desire and effort to be the good strong man that would make his Christian friends and his father and mother proud, and the young boy whose teenage problems threaten to swallow him whole.
But I love that part of him that is trying so hard to become a Godly man. I thank the Lord that He has allowed me into the position of influencing this young man as an older friend. It's as if the Lord has given me a great burden for this boy, and has graciously allowed me to actually be part of helping him. For, for some strange reason, he seems to really respect me, value my opinion on different things, and almost seems to look to me as an older sibling, certainly as a friend.
With his dad being in the military, it came up a few weeks ago that they may have to move away from us and to another state farther up north. He seems to be taking it pretty hard, and several of us are praying that somehow they will be able to stay.
Several times in the past year, when there has been some project or mission-trip-fundraiser that the church has been involved in, I have been so impressed and thankful for how he has stepped up and been a responsible example, young gentleman, and hard worker. It's like he gets into 'beast mode' (as they say around here) and gets going so hard a freight train couldn't stop him! And boy, he really threw himself into the work on this trip!
I took minimal journal notes on the trip. Seeing as how we got up before the crack of dawn each morning to grab breakfast and be ready to get to work when the sun came up, then fell into bed dog-tired every night, besides all the fun and fellowship and goofing off with friends in between, I didn't have time to journal like I had wanted to. But I did record a few things each day. Thoughts, prayers, things to remember, and bits from the great devotionals Justice challenged us with each night in front of the fire.
Here they are, from my heart, to paper (or, "computer screen", I suppose is more accurate):
"Jan. 4, 2012 –
Prayers:
Dear God help my precious boys. Make Men of my boys! Help my brown-eyed boy now. He’s got so much on his young mind; so many changes, so many responsibilities, so many disappointments. I love my boys and girls so much!! Thank you for loving me. I could not love them or anyone or anything else, if You had not first shown me what love really is. Help me show my love in appropriate yet impacting ways. Help me to encourage my friends and those who look up to and expect so much from me. Help me to behave myself in appropriate ways, in integrity, in wisdom, in Godliness, so as to have the most influence and impact on these dear lives as possible for Your glory's sake.
Jan. 5, 2012 –
Things to remember:
'Bucket brigade' log loading. ATV-driving lessons from our resident sidekick, Russell, and 'my brown-eyed boy'. Driving an ATV and trailer for the first time (and, I might add, loaded down with logs and friends). Growing closer to brothers. So thankful for a kindred-spirit sister-friend (Lindy). Silly videoing. Learning everybody's middle names (or first names, as the case may be). Being silly with friends. Going Snipe hunting for the first time in my life.
Justice’s devotional – Drawing near to God:
The more you are willing to spend time with God, the more He will reveal Himself to you. The Father went to meet the prodigal son when he came home. When the dove came back to Noah, he reached out to take it back in.
James 4:8 – "Draw nigh to God, and He will draw night to you..." It means just what it says.
Luke 15:11-32 – Verse 20 references Acts 2:39. Verse 21 references Ps. 51:4.
Gen. 8:9 – I have always found the picture painted in this verse to be so touching.
Isaiah 58:9(a) – Another wonderful word picture. Like a lonely or hurt young person, seeking the help and/or consolation of a trusted friend or counselor.
Heb. 13:5 – Let your lifestyle be without covetousness. And be content with what you have already been given. Because, He has said, 'I will never leave you or abandon you.'
How do we as Christians draw near to God?
1) Turn from sin. Heb 4:14 and 16
2) Praise Him. Ps. 147:1
3) Read and trust His Word. Ps. 119:114
4) In faith and hope lay hold of His promises. Ps. 119:162
Prayers:
Oh Father help 'my brown-eyed boy'! Everything is here for him. It's such a great unknown he will be stepping into if they go. Please leave him and his family here with us. Or, please take care of them while they’re gone. Help me know what to do about [going on an overseas mission trip with the church this summer].
Jan. 6, 2012 –
"Faithful are the wounds of a friend..." I experienced the truth of this verse firsthand this afternoon. In his characteristic good-naturedly bossy way, Aron pointed out that often I am mean to Trissy in the way I talk to her. We had a whole little conversation about it, and it really really hurt. Especially when he picks on his younger brother Simon, and Russell, and me, and it’s always a joke or teasing then. Why can’t he see that I'm just teasing Trissy the way the gang teases me and I tease them?! But I got to thinking over the examples he gave. And yes, as he pointed out, to an onlooker who didn't know the people or the situation, it could appear that I was very rude and mean. Especially when she's so soft-spoken in public. So I hope I can take his advice in the way that he meant it, learn from it, and get over feeling sorry for myself.
I have been so proud of my younger boys (Simon and 'my brown-eyed boy') on this trip! They have both behaved in a very respectful and mostly ;) responsible way, and have conducted themselves in a commendable manner.
Abigail also, though the youngest on this trip, has pulled her weight and kept up valiantly, being our 'shy one', but so sweet!
Prayers:
Dear God, make true men of my boys! Ladies of my girls!
Keep, bless, and protect 'my brown-eyed boy', physically, spiritually, emotionally... in every way! If his family must leave, make him great through this. He’s so small, but I can see in him the potential to become so big. Oh God make him a great man!!
Justice’s devotional - One With Christ:
John 14:19 – "...because I live, ye shall live also." Christ is our reason for living. If it were not for Him - His life, His death, His rising from the grave, His love, His gift – life would not be worth living. Literally. There would be nothing worth being alive for! Because He lives, we have Heaven, we have Life, we have Joy, we have Purpose.
Colossians 3:3 – We are dead. Our life is Christ. He is IN us!! As Justice said, we are not light bulbs waiting to be screwed in when an old one burns out. We have the Light IN us! Do others see the Light? As Abigail said, "Live in such a way that those who don’t know God, but know you, will come to know God, because they know you." Dear God may others see the Light from seeing me live!!
~
After the devotional each night, we all would separate, each finding a little corner of the cabin to read over, think over, and pray over what Justice had talked about that night. I usually curled up in one of the chairs or couches in front of the fire to do my thinking, and when I was done, I would journal until the stirring and hushed conversation from the others signaled that everyone else was done too.
Then we'd play games, talk, or go to bed, depending on how tired we were :) .
The last night, all the children and both sets of house parents met in the boys' house and hosted supper for us. It was such a privilege to get to meet and interact with all the kids that we'd come to help! We had a great evening of getting to know them, and ended the night with an epic game of Pledge-the-super-long-wood-floor-hallway-and-slide-down-it-in-your-stocking-feet, in which a few brave adults also participated :D ! Evidently that's what they do for entertainment on Friday nights at the ranch! Sounded like a wholesome winner to me, as long as you have helmets and pads ;D !
All-in-all it was a great week of exhausting but extremely fulfilling physical labor, spiritual renewal, and friendship strengthening. So many memories made! Memories I think I will treasure my life through.
Monday, July 25, 2011
"Go Ye"
I am experiencing a sense of gentle melancholy. I’m not really sure where it comes from, unless it’s the fact that our group of college-age young people will soon no longer be what it once was - which sounds a little clichéd perhaps, but is true nonetheless. Nearly half of us will soon be gone, dispersed into the world to ‘begin again’ - in a sense - putting into practice the lessons and experiences we’ve been storing up from our time here. Landon and Oliver have been gone, attending Bible College in a next-door state, though Landon is back visiting for the summer. For the others, Austin, Camille, Lindy, and Russell will be moving to a four-year college an hour away – Austin and Camille returning there for their last year, Lindy and Russell for their first. They may or may not be able to return for mid-week services and events. Toby will be moving 4 hours away to the state college, driving back only every other weekend to save gas. Oliver is married and settled in the college there, and Landon will be going back when the summer is over. The hardest though, is Justice and Noel, who in just a couple of weeks will be moving several states away for Justice to go to seminary (needless to say, our time with them will be practically non-existent). It seems when they go, our college group as we know it will ‘officially’ be over.
The gang is disintegrating. The time we have here right now for a few more days will never be the same again. This past year and a half or so together has been a priceless time that can never be made back just like it was, once it has gone. We are all growing up. We came together at the beginning of a dramatic time of change in all our lives, enjoyed a precious time of camaraderie and enriching friendship, and now must separate to make our own ways, complete the change, finish the process that will make us into the individuals and adults that the Lord had in mind when He created us. We’ve laughed together, learned together, prayed together, argued, agreed, disagreed, discussed, lived together (some of us), worried about each other, loved each other, exposed and been exposed, and even wept together at times. We’ve shared secrets and hidden secrets. We’ve withdrawn. We’ve bonded. Once we’ve separated, we will never come back together in just the same fashion again. This time can never be reproduced. Yet even this sadness is sweet. It is colored with the good memories and friendships that cannot be erased. And the parting is itself proof that we have grown, that we are benefitting from the lessons the Lord has put us through. We are moving on, spreading out, flying away from the dandelion head one seed at a time, to light again in another location and give rise to another experience like the one we came from. And some of us will stay, falling only an inch or two from the old stem, or clinging to it to continue it's life and work. Who those will be, only the Lord knows, and only time will tell.
And though I am in a sense depressed at the undeniable fact that this season is over, I am also excited. This dear group of which the Lord has so graciously allowed me to be the most insignificant part, is full of potential! Full of brilliant minds, bright eyes, eager hearts, and exalted souls. Full of life, youth, and the typical undaunted zeal and unconquered invincibility of the young. Naïve in some ways, it must be admitted, yet wise beyond their years in areas where the typical college-age young person is sadly and sorely lacking. Each one has unique talents, temperaments, oddities, and virtues. Each one is invaluable. Each one is irreplaceable.
Camille, with her confidence, brains, and compassion. Autumn, with her quietness, skills of observation, and servant’s heart. Austin, with his courage, meekness, and charm. Justice, with his boldness, desire to learn, and no-holds-barred attitude. Noel, willing, frank, and practical. Aron, thoughtful, impetuous, and honest. Henley, sweet, unselfish, and giving. Toby, mission-minded, humble, and fun. Lindy, reliable, self-effacing, and brave. Archer, wise, opinionated, and generous. Russell, happy, tenderhearted, and our entertainer. Landon, adventurous, kind, and undaunted. Trissy, quiet, hardworking, and friend of the oddball. And the others.
For myself, I leave others to critique. All are passionate.
So that contributes to my melancholy that is not wholly melancholy. Those who are departing are going with great goals – to be impacts on their new corners of the world – to be used by the Lord to do His work. To become great for His name. Those who will stay will carry on together until the Lord again divides the group. We will continue to learn, to grow, and to challenge and be challenged. We will continue to uplift and encourage each other. We will continue on. We will serve our Lord where we are.
And if each continues to seek their Lord to this goal (may it be so, dear God!), then He will toughen their determination, strengthen their strengths, gently and gradually reveal to them their faults and foibles, help them to lay those aside, and press them on toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God, for the glory of Jesus Christ.
SOLI DEO GLORIA!
“The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad.” Ps. 126:3
The gang is disintegrating. The time we have here right now for a few more days will never be the same again. This past year and a half or so together has been a priceless time that can never be made back just like it was, once it has gone. We are all growing up. We came together at the beginning of a dramatic time of change in all our lives, enjoyed a precious time of camaraderie and enriching friendship, and now must separate to make our own ways, complete the change, finish the process that will make us into the individuals and adults that the Lord had in mind when He created us. We’ve laughed together, learned together, prayed together, argued, agreed, disagreed, discussed, lived together (some of us), worried about each other, loved each other, exposed and been exposed, and even wept together at times. We’ve shared secrets and hidden secrets. We’ve withdrawn. We’ve bonded. Once we’ve separated, we will never come back together in just the same fashion again. This time can never be reproduced. Yet even this sadness is sweet. It is colored with the good memories and friendships that cannot be erased. And the parting is itself proof that we have grown, that we are benefitting from the lessons the Lord has put us through. We are moving on, spreading out, flying away from the dandelion head one seed at a time, to light again in another location and give rise to another experience like the one we came from. And some of us will stay, falling only an inch or two from the old stem, or clinging to it to continue it's life and work. Who those will be, only the Lord knows, and only time will tell.
And though I am in a sense depressed at the undeniable fact that this season is over, I am also excited. This dear group of which the Lord has so graciously allowed me to be the most insignificant part, is full of potential! Full of brilliant minds, bright eyes, eager hearts, and exalted souls. Full of life, youth, and the typical undaunted zeal and unconquered invincibility of the young. Naïve in some ways, it must be admitted, yet wise beyond their years in areas where the typical college-age young person is sadly and sorely lacking. Each one has unique talents, temperaments, oddities, and virtues. Each one is invaluable. Each one is irreplaceable.
Camille, with her confidence, brains, and compassion. Autumn, with her quietness, skills of observation, and servant’s heart. Austin, with his courage, meekness, and charm. Justice, with his boldness, desire to learn, and no-holds-barred attitude. Noel, willing, frank, and practical. Aron, thoughtful, impetuous, and honest. Henley, sweet, unselfish, and giving. Toby, mission-minded, humble, and fun. Lindy, reliable, self-effacing, and brave. Archer, wise, opinionated, and generous. Russell, happy, tenderhearted, and our entertainer. Landon, adventurous, kind, and undaunted. Trissy, quiet, hardworking, and friend of the oddball. And the others.
For myself, I leave others to critique. All are passionate.
So that contributes to my melancholy that is not wholly melancholy. Those who are departing are going with great goals – to be impacts on their new corners of the world – to be used by the Lord to do His work. To become great for His name. Those who will stay will carry on together until the Lord again divides the group. We will continue to learn, to grow, and to challenge and be challenged. We will continue to uplift and encourage each other. We will continue on. We will serve our Lord where we are.
And if each continues to seek their Lord to this goal (may it be so, dear God!), then He will toughen their determination, strengthen their strengths, gently and gradually reveal to them their faults and foibles, help them to lay those aside, and press them on toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God, for the glory of Jesus Christ.
SOLI DEO GLORIA!
“The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad.” Ps. 126:3
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Recent Happenings
So, before anything else really happens, I wanted to record a few of the things that have been going on lately.
First off, I am SO thankful to be done with yet another semester of school! Lord willing I only have one more (this Fall) and I'll be done for good! YAY!!! :)
The Lord was good, and gave me A's in all my classes, too. I've done well, as far as grades, but I want to finish off the rest of what I have to do, with all A's.
We have a busy summer ahead though! Right now, Trissy and I are trying to get ready for the mission trip we're planning on taking. Several people from our church are planning to be going on various mission trips this summer, and our church itself is planning two of our own. Trissy and I are planning on going on the first one, which is just a little less than three weeks away!
Last week Jaylyn helped us get set up with a Skype account, so now we can talk with them when they go back to the mission field! We're really excited. But they'll be another continent away... that seems so far, yet with the blessings of modern technology, not nearly as far away as when The Grandparents were missionaries overseas!
Mrs. H said for us to keep her incubator over the summer and try to hatch some more chicks. We'd tried right before the end of school, and had put more than twenty eggs in, but not one hatched! We've got thirty-one this time (including eight eggs she gave us from her chickens), and we are hoping and praying they all hatch, are healthy, and are mostly hens! Our hen population is down to three, and Mom is missing getting to do all her cooking with 'home-grown' eggs.
The ones in the first picture are two of the ones from Mrs. H. She gave us four of the little tiny white banty eggs, and four others that are real small, but I don't think completely banty.
The ones in the next picture are the two sizes we put in.
The last picture just shows a comparison of all four sizes together.
(Sorry about the marker on the shells. We wrote the date we gathered each egg in Sharpie on the shell, so we could tell later how the age of the eggs affected how likely they were to hatch.)
Uncle David came over for a week-or-so's visit, and The Grandparents have been thrilled to have him here! His whole family was hoping to get to come right after Christmas, and the funeral of the oldest uncle, but were not able to afford the plane fare for four people across the ocean. Someone in their sponsoring church, though, gave an offering of enough for Uncle David to come and see his parents. He is so hyper and fun and joking, and yet so willing, hard-working, and one of the most respectful-to/of-his-parents people I know. It's been good having him around to 'increase our endorphins', and we can tell The Grandparents have really 'perked up' to have his lively spirit around.
Yesterday, was Justice and Noel's wedding. The bridesmaids wore black dresses, and the groomsmen wore black suits. The women carried red roses and the men wore red rose boutonnieres. Justice's coat was white to match Noel. Somehow I did not end up taking a single picture! Oh well...
We ended up going to two weddings yesterday. Justice and Noel's, and then one of a young man whose family we have known since the kids were just little bitty. They are home school friends, and we were part of the same home school group for years. I did take a few pictures there.
Lindy and her family used to go to church with their family, so she was there too, and sat with us.
While we were in town yesterday, we went by Lifeway and I picked up 'The Voyage of the Dawn Treader' that I had pre-ordered before it came out. Dad took Trissy and me to see it in the theater - Mom was sick, and couldn't go with us :( - and that was the second time Trissy and I had been to a theater (the first was for Fireproof). I would NOT want to go regularly, but I'd like to support good movies. We hope to go and see Courageous when it comes out in September. But anyway, Dad really liked 'Dawn Treader', so Trissy and I are going to give it to him for his birthday :) .
While I was there, I also got 'Pendragon' which I have been wanting ever since I saw it several months ago. If you want something good, clean, imaginative, and exciting to watch, (not including Sherwood Pictures movies) I would recommend this! It is excellent! Uncle Alvin's are supposed to come down tonight, and Jaylyn and Jewel have been wanting to see it again, so maybe we can watch it after church.
Toby hurt his knee playing basketball a couple of weeks ago, and the doctor thinks he may have torn his ACL. If he has, he'll have to have surgery to fix it, and may not get to go on the two mission trips he was planning on being a part of this summer. Lindy said he's pretty discouraged about that, but still hopeful. He has an MRI on Tuesday, to find out for sure what's wrong, and after that, he and his parents can make a decision on what he's going to do.
Mrs. Shannen, Bro. Earl's wife, recently learned she has a hole in her heart, and she's going to have surgery this week, Lord willing. A week or so ago, she was at work, and one side of her face went numb, and she felt lightheaded. After alot of tests, they found out that the hole in her heart that all babies have when they're born had never closed up, and it was letting little clots through, and causing minor strokes.
It kind of gave us a scare, but she seems fine now, she's just going to have to have it closed up.
Bro. Earl's got laryngitis, so he couldn't preach this morning. Bro. Dennis preached for him, and it was excellent as usual. He preached on what true success is, and how to obtain it. Success is not health, wealth, and prosperity. Success is being satisfied with where the Lord has you, and doing your best for Him in the situations you find yourself it.
That's the sermon in a very small nutshell :) .
About halfway through the sermon, the electricity went off! I mean everything, the microphone, the lights, the recording machine, everything. He was just talking along, and all of a sudden there was kindof a snap, and the whole big auditorium went dark. Nobody missed a beat, just 'rolled with it' as they say, and Bro. Dennis just kept preaching and would say something like, "Now, if you can see your Bibles, please turn to this scripture reference" every now and then.
It was actually kind of cozy :) ! Some of the men got up and opened the doors into the hallways and the foyer, to let the sunlight in, and we just kept going. I am just sad that the recording machine couldn't work, because I had wanted a copy of the service to re-watch later.
"Austin and The Band" as Bro. Mike calls them (our young people who play and lead the singing for the youth class on Wednesday nights) led our music this morning and did an excellent job. I suppose they did the music because Bro. Dennis was preaching and couldn't do both.
They are getting better and better. They're all good musicians, but when they first started, they sounded like they were just starting, if you get my drift ;) . Now they blend and seem to play off each other really well. It seems like they're better every time I hear them just about! They usually pick out really good music and songs too, which of course, is half the thing, right there. And they use their great talents to glorify the Lord; that's the best thing - knowing these kids want to love and serve Christ - that's so rare these days in young people. These are such a blessing!
Dad had made hamburgers Friday, and we had them for left-overs today for lunch. Mom usually likes us to cook a 'Sunday dinner', but with all the running around and other things that have been happening lately, and since we had plenty, we just decided to do left-overs today. Trissy started fixing Dad's burger, then she called me over and showed it to me and said, "I'm going to call him to finish it!" :) .
She's real cute with things like that.
Well, I think that's about it. Besides, Trissy and I need to scoot on off to choir practice. Bro. Dennis let us all have a couple of weeks off after Easter :) .
I just wanted to record a few of the things that have been happening around and to me.
This morning church especially was SUCH a blessing and refreshment from the Lord! I can never cease to thank Him for leading us to this place, and the wonderful family He has given us, and the lessons (both easy and hard) He has taught us here. He is so amazing; so good.
{Zig-zags courtesy of Jones Design Company}
First off, I am SO thankful to be done with yet another semester of school! Lord willing I only have one more (this Fall) and I'll be done for good! YAY!!! :)
The Lord was good, and gave me A's in all my classes, too. I've done well, as far as grades, but I want to finish off the rest of what I have to do, with all A's.
We have a busy summer ahead though! Right now, Trissy and I are trying to get ready for the mission trip we're planning on taking. Several people from our church are planning to be going on various mission trips this summer, and our church itself is planning two of our own. Trissy and I are planning on going on the first one, which is just a little less than three weeks away!
Last week Jaylyn helped us get set up with a Skype account, so now we can talk with them when they go back to the mission field! We're really excited. But they'll be another continent away... that seems so far, yet with the blessings of modern technology, not nearly as far away as when The Grandparents were missionaries overseas!
Mrs. H said for us to keep her incubator over the summer and try to hatch some more chicks. We'd tried right before the end of school, and had put more than twenty eggs in, but not one hatched! We've got thirty-one this time (including eight eggs she gave us from her chickens), and we are hoping and praying they all hatch, are healthy, and are mostly hens! Our hen population is down to three, and Mom is missing getting to do all her cooking with 'home-grown' eggs.
The ones in the first picture are two of the ones from Mrs. H. She gave us four of the little tiny white banty eggs, and four others that are real small, but I don't think completely banty.
The ones in the next picture are the two sizes we put in.
The last picture just shows a comparison of all four sizes together.
(Sorry about the marker on the shells. We wrote the date we gathered each egg in Sharpie on the shell, so we could tell later how the age of the eggs affected how likely they were to hatch.)
Uncle David came over for a week-or-so's visit, and The Grandparents have been thrilled to have him here! His whole family was hoping to get to come right after Christmas, and the funeral of the oldest uncle, but were not able to afford the plane fare for four people across the ocean. Someone in their sponsoring church, though, gave an offering of enough for Uncle David to come and see his parents. He is so hyper and fun and joking, and yet so willing, hard-working, and one of the most respectful-to/of-his-parents people I know. It's been good having him around to 'increase our endorphins', and we can tell The Grandparents have really 'perked up' to have his lively spirit around.
Yesterday, was Justice and Noel's wedding. The bridesmaids wore black dresses, and the groomsmen wore black suits. The women carried red roses and the men wore red rose boutonnieres. Justice's coat was white to match Noel. Somehow I did not end up taking a single picture! Oh well...
We ended up going to two weddings yesterday. Justice and Noel's, and then one of a young man whose family we have known since the kids were just little bitty. They are home school friends, and we were part of the same home school group for years. I did take a few pictures there.
Lindy and her family used to go to church with their family, so she was there too, and sat with us.
While we were in town yesterday, we went by Lifeway and I picked up 'The Voyage of the Dawn Treader' that I had pre-ordered before it came out. Dad took Trissy and me to see it in the theater - Mom was sick, and couldn't go with us :( - and that was the second time Trissy and I had been to a theater (the first was for Fireproof). I would NOT want to go regularly, but I'd like to support good movies. We hope to go and see Courageous when it comes out in September. But anyway, Dad really liked 'Dawn Treader', so Trissy and I are going to give it to him for his birthday :) .
While I was there, I also got 'Pendragon' which I have been wanting ever since I saw it several months ago. If you want something good, clean, imaginative, and exciting to watch, (not including Sherwood Pictures movies) I would recommend this! It is excellent! Uncle Alvin's are supposed to come down tonight, and Jaylyn and Jewel have been wanting to see it again, so maybe we can watch it after church.
Toby hurt his knee playing basketball a couple of weeks ago, and the doctor thinks he may have torn his ACL. If he has, he'll have to have surgery to fix it, and may not get to go on the two mission trips he was planning on being a part of this summer. Lindy said he's pretty discouraged about that, but still hopeful. He has an MRI on Tuesday, to find out for sure what's wrong, and after that, he and his parents can make a decision on what he's going to do.
Mrs. Shannen, Bro. Earl's wife, recently learned she has a hole in her heart, and she's going to have surgery this week, Lord willing. A week or so ago, she was at work, and one side of her face went numb, and she felt lightheaded. After alot of tests, they found out that the hole in her heart that all babies have when they're born had never closed up, and it was letting little clots through, and causing minor strokes.
It kind of gave us a scare, but she seems fine now, she's just going to have to have it closed up.
Bro. Earl's got laryngitis, so he couldn't preach this morning. Bro. Dennis preached for him, and it was excellent as usual. He preached on what true success is, and how to obtain it. Success is not health, wealth, and prosperity. Success is being satisfied with where the Lord has you, and doing your best for Him in the situations you find yourself it.
That's the sermon in a very small nutshell :) .
About halfway through the sermon, the electricity went off! I mean everything, the microphone, the lights, the recording machine, everything. He was just talking along, and all of a sudden there was kindof a snap, and the whole big auditorium went dark. Nobody missed a beat, just 'rolled with it' as they say, and Bro. Dennis just kept preaching and would say something like, "Now, if you can see your Bibles, please turn to this scripture reference" every now and then.
It was actually kind of cozy :) ! Some of the men got up and opened the doors into the hallways and the foyer, to let the sunlight in, and we just kept going. I am just sad that the recording machine couldn't work, because I had wanted a copy of the service to re-watch later.
"Austin and The Band" as Bro. Mike calls them (our young people who play and lead the singing for the youth class on Wednesday nights) led our music this morning and did an excellent job. I suppose they did the music because Bro. Dennis was preaching and couldn't do both.
They are getting better and better. They're all good musicians, but when they first started, they sounded like they were just starting, if you get my drift ;) . Now they blend and seem to play off each other really well. It seems like they're better every time I hear them just about! They usually pick out really good music and songs too, which of course, is half the thing, right there. And they use their great talents to glorify the Lord; that's the best thing - knowing these kids want to love and serve Christ - that's so rare these days in young people. These are such a blessing!
Dad had made hamburgers Friday, and we had them for left-overs today for lunch. Mom usually likes us to cook a 'Sunday dinner', but with all the running around and other things that have been happening lately, and since we had plenty, we just decided to do left-overs today. Trissy started fixing Dad's burger, then she called me over and showed it to me and said, "I'm going to call him to finish it!" :) .
She's real cute with things like that.
Well, I think that's about it. Besides, Trissy and I need to scoot on off to choir practice. Bro. Dennis let us all have a couple of weeks off after Easter :) .
I just wanted to record a few of the things that have been happening around and to me.
This morning church especially was SUCH a blessing and refreshment from the Lord! I can never cease to thank Him for leading us to this place, and the wonderful family He has given us, and the lessons (both easy and hard) He has taught us here. He is so amazing; so good.
{Zig-zags courtesy of Jones Design Company}
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