Book Review: "Intercessory Prayer" by Dutch Sheets

Intercessory Prayer: How God Can Use Your Prayers to Move Heaven and Earth by Dutch Sheets

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


As a firm believer in the power of prayer, I was very excited to get this book! As I began to read, I got more excited - this was great! There were insights presented and areas explored that took the significance and meaning of prayer in a Christian's life to an amazingly deeper level. However, as I progressed through the book, I began to come across statements and ideas that bothered me, that did not ring true when held up against the Bible, and some that even seemed to border on blasphemy.

Put simply, the 'good' in this book was 'excellent'; the 'bad' in this book was 'really bad'.

I would NOT recommend this book to a new Christian, or to one who is not mature in the Christian faith; certainly not to one who is easily swayed or gullible. I would highly recommend this book to a well-grounded Christian; someone who knows the Bible, who has a discerning spirit, and who is able to 'eat the meat and spit out the bones' of an idea. As I said above, the good parts are REALLY good, and it is worth it to glean from them.

Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from Bethany House Publishers, in exchange for my honest review.

View all my reviews

Thoughts On: Is God Real?

Tonight Dad, Mom, Trissy, and I went into town and got frozen yogurt at a new shop that opened up recently. We took it to eat at a rather unconventional hang-out (the rest stop on the highway going through town), but that's just how we roll. We strolled along the walking paths and sang silly old cowboy songs. As we got ready to leave, Trissy stopped to give someone a Gospel paper, and invite him to Victory Rd. A dear man, he is eighty-five and works as a security guard at the rest stop. And he is an atheist.

Trissy said he was very kind and polite, and very sad. His wife died more than thirty-five years ago and now he lives his own life waiting to die. He has chosen to believe that there is no God.

But denying something exists does not make it go away - sooner or later it must be faced. One can, for convenience' sake, deny that the "check oil" light is on in their car. But that does not negate the fact that they must eventually deal with the issue, or risk ruining their motor.

Oh that the Lord would open his eyes! If God were not real, and our human souls were not destined to live on, but our bodies to simply return to dust when we die, yet those who believe on Him still have lost nothing. But if God is real, and our human souls are destined to live on forever - in either a state of incomprehensible joy with Him, or ghastly terror without Him - then those who refuse His mercy stand to lose everything.

For me personally, I simply cannot understand how it is possible for a person to live without God, without Christ.
For starters, if there is no God, then there is no purpose to life - an idea that the human spirit's very core rebels against.
And if there is no God, then where did everything come from? Where did we come from? Some say that everything evolved to the state it's in through a sequence of long, slow events and processes, taking millions, or even billions, of years to accomplish.

Ok, so how exactly did this supposedly happen? How did humans get here?
Well, they say, we are evolved from the monkeys.
Ok, where did the monkeys come from?
Well, they evolved up from a lower life form.
Where did the 'lower life form' come from?
Well, a wet and sort of 'soupy' environment provided the conditions for the cells of that lower life form to emerge from.
Where did the 'soup' come from?
Well, after millions of years of acidic rain on the prehistoric rocks, this 'soup' was produced.
Ok, so, where did the prehistoric rocks come from?
They were already part of the Earth.
Where did the earth come from?
Well, billions of years before, all the matter in the universe was condensed into a very small area that spun faster and faster until a huge explosion scattered it all back out into the forms of the stars and planets there are today, including the Earth.
Where did all the matter come from?

Now, I do realize that above I am - for demonstration's sake - greatly simplifying the evolutionary theory. But they still can't answer that last question. They don't have an answer. They can't tell you where all that dust that supposedly got together, and supposedly got squished, and supposedly exploded into us originated.
Science proves that 'matter can neither be created, nor destroyed'. So, the obvious answer to, "Where did the dust/dirt/matter come from?" is that someone who transcends the laws of science put it there. Well, then, why don't they just say that and answer the question?

Because if they answer the question by saying, "Someone made it and put it there," they are recognizing the fact that there is a 'higher power' that made everything. That made the world, and everything that is in it. That made them. And if there is someone that powerful, he must be God.

They also don't mention a few other little scientific details when relating the way they believe everything came about. They don't tell you that the 'geologic column' has not been found anywhere on the earth. They don't tell you that, when layers with fossils in them are found, many times the fossilized animals are out of the order in which they were supposed to have evolved. They don't tell you that if the big squish and the big explosion happened at the beginning of time, then all the planets would be spinning in one direction, and that actually many of the planets and moons are spinning in the opposite direction.

In their defense, if they did tell things like this, it would totally undermine their theory, and they need an alternative theory to that of Creation. Because, if Creation is true, then there really is a God who made them. And if there really is a God who made them, He has the right to an answer from them on how they have spent the lives and resources He's given them. And they do not want to have to answer for that.

It may be convenient to believe that there is no God, but it isn't safe.

P.S. Pray for Mr. G. to find what is truth.

Thoughts Of A Weary Traveler

{Note: As a Christian and/or as a human, do you ever just get tired? Below is an entry from my journal on Dec. 6, 2015, when I was really feeling it. You may or may not get some of the references, but I need to remember that day, how I felt, and how the Lord is still coming through for me. Above is a reminder I captured on the mission trip I took to Seattle this summer.}

Why is existence so hard? Is it even worth it? Every day almost, it seems, I am more and more aware of my 'stranger status' here in this foreign land. It is hard, so hard, to keep in mind the image of this tiny red mark at the tip of the earth-encircling rope. The red mark seems so long when traveling it.

I am tired, so tired. And if I, then how much more must those long in the way be?

I am in a constant resistance with discouragement, with sadness, with frustration, with anger, and with exhaustion. I seem drowning in these things, and in the utter vastness of the job before me, before all true Christians. But where are, and who are, the true Christians? I can trust no one. All are unstable. All are satisfied in their own ideas, whether Biblical or not. I am in a fight for myself, to become more the Christian that God would have me to be; I am in a fight against Satan's work in the world; and I am in a fight against Satan's work in the church.

I am swallowed up in an invisible cloud; in the center of a bubble from which I cannot escape. If I could but get out and turn around and look on it I think I would see that it is a small inky blot in a vast expanse of gloriously clear air. Like Bilbo getting to the top of the tree and seeing the butterflies above Mirkwood, yet having to descend back into the poisonous darkness, I know there is cleanness and beauty from God's view, but I struggle to keep faith in that view of Light, while I am smothering in the murky darkness.

Tonight Bro. Earl said that in the men's prayer time this afternoon, he prayed for us (Victory Rd.) to have victory in our spiritual lives, so that we may find the freedom and joy and power to live Spirit-filled lives. The timing, for me at least, is absolutely just right.

And he asked, as a challenge, that us as his Sunday night group pray this for the church as well, that a wild-fire of spiritual victory would sweep the church. Oh how it is needed!

Where Oh Where Has My Brown-Eyed Boy Gone?

My family doesn't rent movies much, only a little more than we go to the theater, and I've been to the theater four times in (approximately) the past 15 years - gives you some idea of the frequency - but after Trissy and I watched "Big Hero 6" with a cousin (Uncle David and Aunt Winny's son), we wanted to show it to Dad and Mom. So Trissy went out on a limb and picked up four movies (three of which none of us had seen) from the video rental store for us this weekend. One of them was "Last Ounce of Courage" (more later - maybe - on the other three). We watched it tonight, and I was pleasantly surprised. I'm so used to being 'burnt' on new movies that finding one I can recommend is very encouraging. I did have an objection to one aspect, but that's a whole 'nother ballgame, and not why I'm writing this post. Maybe I'll address it another time.

I'm just writing now for myself. To 'think out loud' and pray at the same time.

The film had a very patriotic message, and one of the main characters was a young soldier who bore an amazing resemblance to my 'brown-eyed boy'. My 'brown-eyed boy' - who I have heard nothing of in over a year, except a very rare text message from his mom. I texted the number I had for her one afternoon last month for the first time in probably a year and a half. I didn't even really expect to receive an answer - I never had when the family still lived in this area and still attended Victory Rd. I didn't hold out hope now that they've moved away and been gone so many months. But I was amazed and thrilled when my 'I've-been-thinking-about-your-family-and-just-wanted-to-let-you-know-I'm-praying-for-you' text was answered with a 'we're-doing-alright-the-boys-are-fine-thank-you-for-the-prayers' response!
But then I wondered, did "the boys" mean the two 'little boys', her thirteen and nine-year-olds? Or all three of her boys?

Keeping my eyes and ears open right around the time they left, I picked up word of him here and there for a while. It was very discouraging. He'd disappeared from Victory Rd., hanging instead with 'the wrong crowd'. His Twitter feed was filthy.
The last I heard of my 'brown-eyed boy' he was going into the military - into explosives. That was about two years ago. The last time I saw him, he'd come to pick up his two little brothers from the academy and was - figuratively - a pitiful shadow of the bright young man he had been during his Victory Rd. days. Physically, he appeared in top form. Spiritually...

My first emotion was shock. Heartbreak followed close on it's heels. A Christian brother, my friend. Where had he gone? 
He was like a stranger. He didn't even look at me.

I texted the same message to the last number I had for him, at the same time I texted his mom. No response.

Oh God! My 'brown-eyed boy'! Wherever you are, God help you!
Oh what has become of him?

Toby.

Toby mentored and discipled him for several months. They became quite good friends. If anyone knows where he is or what's going on with him, surely Toby does. Good old Toby - I'll ask him at church tomorrow.

My 'brown-eyed' boy's movie look-alike was a strong Christian and his Lord strengthened him through the fires of battle. Oh that this same could be said of my 'brown-eyed boy'!!

Oh My Love

Oh my Love! I'm holding on forever, reaching for the love that seems so far.
Where the fields are green, I'll see You there - my Love.

The world just falls apart. Hold me in Your arms.
You're the only one I trust, with all my tears.
I don't know what to do - I just hold on to You.
And all I ask is that You never let me go, my Love.

You're the waking in my dreams. Everything's darker than it seems.
When I can't stand alone You hold my hands.
I look to the skies, and there I see Your eyes,
Promising You'll never let me go, my Love.

The only reason I still hold on, is that I'm listening for Your song.
I feel Your breath in the wind against my face.
Be here with me now. If I'm to heal, I don't see how.
But glory! You will never let me go, my Love!

There is no one else for me. None but Jesus.
There is no one else for me, my Love.


{First two lines adapted from "My Love" - Westlife.}
{Last two lines adapted from "None But Jesus" - Hillsong.}
{Middle three stanzas copyright July 2014 - Kyrie McAlan.}

"...so that thy youth is renewed..." Psalm 103:5

Assorted [unedited] photos from the past week, including flowers in The Grandparents' yard, the look down from the top of the metal outside stairs going up to the youth room at church, Law's "Dora", Abigail making a snail with her hands, our cat "Murphy", sunrise this morning, moss, and the ornamental pear trees at Victory Rd. I've been taking lots of flower and other outdoor photos - Spring is definitely on it's way around here.

With the past week in mind, I'd like to share here a poem that Bro. Earl quoted from in his sermon this evening.

"Many crowd the Savior's kingdom,
Few receive His cross;
Many seek His consolation,
Few will suffer loss.
For the dear sake of the Master,
Counting all but dross.

Many sit at Jesus' table,
Few will fast with Him,
When the sorrow-cup of anguish
Trembles to the brim.
Few watch with Him in the garden,
Who have sung the hymn.

Many will confess His wisdom,
Few embrace His shame.
Many, should He smile upon them,
Will His praise proclaim;
Then, if for a while He leave them,
They desert His name.

But the souls who love Him truly,
Let woe come or bliss,
These will count their dearest hearts' blood
Not their own, but His.
Savior, Thou who thus hast loved me,
Give me love like this."

-Amy Carmichael

The past week has been an emotional one, internally. And externally, I suppose, when I'm alone, just the Lord and me.

A little over a week ago (Friday, Feb. 28) Uncle Alvin's family came to visit for a couple of days. Jaylyn and Jewel had seen a mutual friend a couple of days before, and told Trissy and me that she had asked them to pray for one of her friends. He had been out chopping trees in the woods by himself when one hit him in the head. He had been found four hours later, and now he was in the hospital.
We don't know the boy personally (just know of him) and, though it certainly didn't sound like a mere stick-a-band-aid-on-it kind of accident, I must confess that I wasn't struck by the enormity I now realize the situation possessed. I simply received the information, expressed my surprise and sympathy, may have said a prayer, and moved on. How sad. How typical - Christians, who have the indescribable privilege of speaking with God, are so often presented with others' needs, and then neglect to excercise that awesome gift on behalf of the hurting.

This past Tuesday, Mar. 4th, I received an e-mail from that mutual friend. It was a prayer request, sent out to most of her address book, I imagine. It was about T. R., her young friend.
The e-mail gave a few details of the accident and his recent progress toward recovery, then told that he'd taken a bad turn and they were trying new things to help him. It still didn't really hit me until this sentence:
"The doctors really don't know if he will make it or not, but we serve a mighty God who can heal him if it's His will!"
The doctors really don't know if he will make it or not...
I read that, and it hit me; and the impact of it was like getting kicked in the stomach. This kid is seventeen years old, people! Seventeen!! And he 'might not make it'.
Praise the Lord, this boy knows Christ as his Savior. If he dies, it will be his gain. But for those left behind... What a tremendous, unspeakable loss.

I have never prayed for healing quite like I have this past week. I've prayed for healing for adults, people close and dear to me who have already lived long, healthy, God-honoring lives, and have had a life to look back on with contentment. I've prayed that children would be granted to precious friends who had none. I've prayed for confused young Christians trying to find their way. I've prayed for the salvation of souls who I knew did not know Christ. And I've prayed for people in all of these situations with a passion and desperation and love that was so strong I often wondered that I did not explode with it.
But I've never prayed prayers for the life-or-death situation of a seventeen-year-old Christian boy.

I don't even really know T. R. I was at a youth camp five years ago, and he was there as well. He was one of the youngest campers, I was one of the oldest. We didn't really hang out together! I did notice that sharp little twelve-year-old, observing that he was packed with the potential to become a great man one day. My family goes way back with people that know him (like the family of the young lady who asked our family to pray for him), and occasionally through the years I've heard something about him, always in a good light. But he's not even my friend - I don't even know him.

Yet I have found my prayers and thoughts for him this week to be made of the same passion and desperation and love that they have for people very close and/or important to me. What causes the Lord to choose certain people for certain burdens, I don't know. But when He has chosen, you know it!

I have been praying that the Lord would spare his life. That He would heal him, and give him back all the health and mobility that he had before the accident. I've been praying that the Lord would give him a long and great life of ministry and service for Christ, and that this accident would somehow be used to lead many people to the Lord. At first I prayed also that the Lord's will would be done, even if it meant taking him Home. As the week has gone on, with natural human difficulty that part's become harder.

I got that gut-wrenching e-mail Tuesday. Wednesday morning, after dreaming about the situation, I woke up with the old song "What A Mighty God We Serve" going through my head. Haven't thought of that song in ages. Can't just be coincidence.

Two nights ago (Friday), there was some good news. The young lady sends out updates as she gets them, and I got a message saying that his blood pressure was back to normal and he was more stable.
Last night (Saturday), he was worse. Haven't heard anything today.

I'm reading through the Bible this year, and Friday morning I read 1 Samuel 2. The first chapter is about Samuel's mother, Hannah, her desire and prayer for a son, and the Lord granting her prayer. Chapter two is her prayer/song of praise to the Lord. So, with that backdrop in mind, when I read verse six of chapter two, it didn't particularly catch my attention. Until, for some reason, I went back and read it again. And the glory of it blew my mind.

"The Lord killeth, and maketh alive: He bringeth down to the grave, and bringeth up."

The Lord brought T. R. down, oh so very low - and if He chooses, He can bring him back up. That verse was such a strength all Friday. And then that hopeful message Friday night...

This morning, after last night's discouraging message, I was thinking of how hard it must be for his family. How heart-breaking. I know very little about the details of the situation, only what my friend's messages tell, and those are pretty slim updates. But if he's still in ICU, which is quite probable, his family may not even be getting to stay with him. They've got a son, a brother, a friend, hanging between life and death, and they are powerless. What heart-break indeed!

It came into my head to look up verses about how the Lord feels toward the hurting, and how He feels about healing. I didn't have alot of time before we had to leave for church, but these were the four I found right off.

"The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." Psalm 34:18

"He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds." Psalm 147:3 (How appropriate!!)

"...I am the Lord that healeth thee." last part of Exodus 15:26

"...Who healeth all thy diseases;" last part of Ps. 103:3

I jotted the references down on a scrap of paper and stuck it in my Bible as we hurried out the door on our way to church, thinking I might get a chance to look them up and study them a little more between services or something.

Every Sunday morning during the music part of the service, one of the men of the church reads a verse or passage between songs. Today was Dad's turn. He also teaches a Sunday School class, and confessed that he hadn't had a chance yet to get a scripture passage picked out. With my little list in the front of my Bible, I eagerly asked if he wanted a suggestion. He gladly asked me to read him one.
I randomly picked the Ps. 103 one, but knowing that that verse was the middle of a thought, I started at the first verse of the chapter and just started reading. And when I stopped after reading through verse five, I almost didn't hear Dad say thanks or that the selection was "...just right!" - I was stunned by what I'm sure was the providence of the Lord.

"Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:
Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; 
Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;
Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's." (Ps. 103:1-5)

Begin with praise, for whatever the almighty God does is right. Remember the power with which He has answered in the past. He's the one that forgives sin. He's the one that heals. He's the one that rescues life from destruction. He is the tender love and compassion that makes life good. He is the only one that satisfies. He is the one that renews youth.

Wow. Just... Wow.

Tonight, in his sermon, Bro. Earl used part of that poem I included above. So true, so good, all of it. But, thinking of T. R., the last stanza caught me, and both conviction and human pain hurt deep down in my heart.

"But the souls who love Him truly,
Let woe come or bliss,
These will count their dearest hearts' blood
Not their own, but His.
Savior, Thou who thus hast loved me,
Give me love like this."

Love enough to hold all He has given, with an open hand. Love enough to love Him whether heart-break or healing. Love enough to release the most priceless gift from Him, back to Him. Love enough to love like He loves.

I don't know what the Lord will choose to do for this young man. Whatever it is, it will be right, for it will be what He chooses.

It's almost midnight. I'd better go to bed. Soli Deo Gloria!

-Kyrie<><

The Voice Of Truth

"Oh what I would do to have
the kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant!
With just a sling and a stone.
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor, 

wishing they'd have had the strength to stand.

... the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground.
And the waves they don't seem so high,
from on top of them looking down.
I'll soar with the wings of eagles,
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me.

And the Voice of Truth tells me a different story.

The Voice of Truth says, 'Do not be afraid!'

The Voice of Truth says, 'This is for My glory.'

Out of all the voices calling out to me,

I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth."

Random photos from the past two months.

Today I overheard bits of a conversation between Aron, Simon, and Joy's mom and another co-worker (she works as a cook at the restaurant) and how sad and discouraged she is about Simon. I saw Mrs. Renae briefly when she came to pick up her youngest daughter from the academy this afternoon. And I saw 'my brown-eyed boy' when he came to pick up his two younger brothers.

On the way back to the house after leaving town, I cried harder than I've cried since all that heartbreak last year. Simon and 'my brown-eyed boy' - how far away they've gone from the Lord and from those who love them! Dear God! Only You can get hold of them, get their attention, or bring them back now!

I've gotten in the habit of turning on the radio on my drives to and from town, and this song ("The Voice of Truth") came on the station. It was just the comfort and reminder I needed. He is in control! He has my boys! He has Mrs. Renae! And He is working it all out for His glory.

"They did get married."

What a glorious day! The Lord is so good! His mercy and kindness never fail!
This afternoon saw a host of friends and family gathered to witness the marriage of Austin and Ava - and Trissy and I rejoiced at an answer to prayer. At some point in mid-2011 we began praying that the Lord would send the perfect girl to Austin - the one most fitting him and most able to complement him in their service of God together - and that while he was a certain age, they would be married. Austin met Ava in December 2011, and today, thirteen days after his birthday, we got to be at their wedding.
What joy and gladness I feel! How pleasured and blessed I am to have been able to witness the holy uniting of one of my dearest 'adopted brothers' and one of my best friends - for such are Austin and Ava to me.

Rest

For the past several weeks, some things have been different at the church. The week before we left for Chicago (I am working on a post telling about our Chicago mission trip), Justice taught the Sunday School class instead of Bro. Dennis. I thought I'd heard he was sick, so I didn't really think anything about it. I asked Austin where Bro. Dennis was and he replied, "He's not here." He had a teasing expression on his face, but there was a strange look in his eyes.
I raised my eyebrows and asked, 'Sooo, should I just not ask?'
He pressed his lips together and nodded. "Yeah..."
So I let it go and didn't think any more about it. Others led the music service also, instead of the usual trio (Bro. Dennis, Mrs. Renae, and another man). From the choir, I saw Bro. Dennis come in late and sit in the balcony. He looked like he felt terrible, but I thought that it was honorable of him to be at church anyway.
The next week of course we were in Chicago, and the next week in Sunday School there was a definite something strange in the air. The Sunday School superintendent led our class, and in his closing remarks he said something about continuing the series in the coming weeks.
This time, I was afraid to ask.
The superintendent has not taught anymore; it turns out Justice has been asked to teach the class, and though he's been doing a great job, it just has not been the same without Bro. Dennis. There has been no choir practice these weeks, and the music has continued to be led by others, usually Austin or Aron. Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie and Maxwell have continued coming in to sit in the balcony, and I have not been able to find them to talk to them after church. Everything is so strange and our family is concerned.

Last Wednesday night after class (the fourth of July), we had a time of fellowship and ice cream after church in the fellowship hall. Bro. Dennis was there and Trissy told him we'd been missing him in Sunday School. I added, "We've been missing you everywhere!"
His face showed complete agreement as he answered, "I've been missing y'all too - alot! Alot!" but he didn't offer an explanation. He seemed just like the same ol' Bro. Dennis, moving a hundred miles an hour, laughing and enjoying life. Evidently the situation, whatever it is, is beyond his control.

Then there's Mrs. Renae's family. For some time I have wondered if something was going on with them. Mrs. Renae just hasn't seemed to be her usual bubbly, joy-filled, vivacious self. She seemed kindof subdued or sad, except when she was singing. And when the trio stopped leading the music on Sunday morning, looking out at her and her family in the crowd, they seemed so solemn. Their youngest daughter is just like Mrs. Renae, happy, energetic, and never meets a stranger, whereas Lela is more like her dad, cheerful, but calm and sensible. Seeing them looking so discouraged gave me such a feeling of concern that it was hard to keep a smiling face while in the choir.
Last Sunday, and last night (Wednesday night class), none of them were there at all. I hoped maybe they were on vacation. I still hope it.
But after class last night, I heard Justice and Noel talking solemnly with someone else, and I think I heard Justice say he'd texted Mrs. Renae and asked if they were going to be there for class, and she'd responded that they'd decided they needed to move on - to find another place to serve, meaning, another church.

It was like a bomb.

Mrs. Renae's family is an integral part of Victory Rd. Mrs. Renae has thrown her almost inexhaustible energy into most of the ministries, projects, undertakings, and jobs the church has been involved in. The girls are extremely active in their classes. Mrs. Renae's husband recently accepted Christ and was baptized after years of attending, and has 'grown' spiritually at such a rate that it has amazed and blessed all who've prayed for him for so many years. They could not be leaving. I had to have misunderstood.

Yet, it made sense, in a strange, mixed-up way.

While I was overhearing that discouraging conversation, Trissy was having a very encouraging one with Randy. It seems that, since we've gotten back from Chicago, he has been 'stretching' himself and growing by leaps and bounds in his courage, and making himself get out of his 'comfort zone'. He really was influenced by the pastor of the church we went up there to help, who had been a very shy person himself when he was younger, but who now is quite outgoing, and an undeniable leader. Randy told Trissy that he hopes to learn enough to be able to lead the mission trip to Chicago next year, that he hopes to go up there himself as an intern before that, and that to earn the money he will need for that undertaking, he has contacted one of the church men (who also went on the trip) with the possibility of working in his hamburger place. He has contacted one of the leaders of a weekend Christian youth outreach in town about helping them. When they told him all they really needed were preachers to preach on Saturday nights, he went to ask Bro. Mike about how to get some sermons put together. He also has an unsaved friend in another state he feels like the Lord wants him to try to go to and lead him to Christ. And all this from a young man who, though always polite, seldom said more than a dozen words to anyone at one time, and never initiated conversations!

Trissy was overflowing with excitement on our way back to the house, rejoicing to see how God is working in Randy's life. I had a hard time keeping my mind out of a gloomy reverie, yet was so thankful for this happy news and the fact that the Lord will win, no matter how hard the devil tries to tear His plans and people apart.

I didn't tell Trissy what I'd overheard.

When we got back to the house, I sat down to think, to try to slow my flying, churning, writhing thoughts, and to talk with the only One Whose company could encourage me, Whose advice could calm me, and Who had the situation in His hand.
Perspective. That's what I needed. Before I allowed a state of panic or near-despair to take over, I had to look at this with the right perspective.

Yes, if Mrs. Renae's family left, Victory Rd. would not be the same. Not only would it not be the same, but - with this 'pillar family' gone - it would be radically different.
Yet, even if they leave, and things are never the same, the whole Victory Rd. family will one day be all together again, with no problems to spoil the fellowship, and no human imperfections and sins to taint our purest worship of the One Who made our joy. And who knows? The Lord does have everything in His control; maybe He will see fit to mend whatever is causing the difficulty, and they will stay.

The Lord brought a beautiful verse to my mind, and I before I went to bed, I turned to my computer and wrote:
"Life is full of ups and downs. Seems like great victories come hand-in-hand with great disappointments. Praise God He stays the same!"
"The only One Who matters has everything just how He wants it. He is in total control; I have peace and can rest."

"I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for Thou, Lord, only makest me (and all those I love) dwell in safety." Psalms 4:8 (words in italics added)

Law And Hope

God is working in Law's life. I've prayed for him so much since D-Now last year, and it seems as if those prayers are beginning to show fruit.

As I mentioned in this post, Simon and Law were at college Bible study Thursday night - the first night of dividing up into the two groups.
The females went to the classroom next door, and the guys stayed in the main room. Evidently the boys had been having a discussion on 'what is considered appropriate behavior in church' (having food in the auditorium, wearing shorts to church, etc.). As we rejoined the guys for our closing group time, Law said, 'Let's ask the girl in a dress, or, skirt.' (I suppose insinuating that someone who was wearing a skirt on a week-day would have a more strict opinion) 'Kyrie, do you think it's okay to wear shorts to church?'

Now, I knew what I wanted to say, and I was pretty certain that that was what he thought I would say. Yet, with all I have been learning in the last three years (at Victory Rd.), and what had been demonstrated to me within the last two weeks (at the church in Chicago), I hesitated a moment before answering. I was also aware that this could be an important moment in my work of building a friendship and trust with this young man. That my answer could affect how (or if) he trusted and/or respected me in the future. Also, obviously (and most importantly), I wanted to give a Biblical answer and one that would please God. So I hesitated. But not for long; my answer came to me pretty quickly and easily:

If all you have to wear is a pair of shorts, and you don't feel like you should come to church because you don't have a suit or a dress to wear, you should come anyway. Your wardrobe limitation should not make you feel inferior and keep you from church. And if you come and people look down on you, they're wrong. If you have clothes on, you should be able to come to church.

Around the room there was a murmuring of agreement, but Law wasn't done:

What if that's not all you had, but you just wanted to wear shorts because you liked them or they were comfortable?
The look on his face was a mixture of friendly daring and serious interest.

I tried to choose my words carefully:

I think it’s good to try to look nice and show respect by wearing your best to church. But if you want to wear shorts to church, that’s between you and God – it’s not for me to say. If your conscience will let you, it’s not for me to tell you what you should do or not do.

He looked thoughtful as Justice and Bro. Mike both made approving comments, but I couldn’t tell what those thoughts were...

Then there was SOAR last week. SOAR is an acronym (I don't remember what the letters stand for) for a big youth conference in Texas. I've never gone, for several reasons which for time's sake I will not detail now, but for a few days (and for various other reasons) entertained the idea of going this year. Randy, Law, Piper, Lela, and Bro. Mike, as well as Simon, Joy, and Abigail were all going as well. I ended up not getting to, and was disappointed; I felt like something big was going to happen, and I would miss out on getting to witness it.

The group was going to be leaving early Monday morning and get back Friday night. Sunday, I tried to seek out the different ones who would be going and wish them a blessed time. I hadn't gotten to tell the S. kids good-bye though, and it was Sunday evening. Trissy and I went out the side door of the church building after services were over (I was needing to get some youth group photos from Bro. Mike I'd told him I could put in albums), and there was their big silver van, with Mrs. S. and Piper in it! Turns out Law had walked over with Simon to Simon's grandparents' house for a little while, and had forgotten to give the key back to Mrs. S. So she had called him, and she and Piper were waiting for him to walk back with it. I got to tell Piper 'bye and stood and chatted with them and Bro. Mike for a few minutes.

After a couple of minutes, I glanced over my shoulder and saw Law walking up the road towards us with the sinking sun behind him turning the colors in it's path into a scene of magical beauty. When he saw me, he started singing this stupid silly song that went back to the Chicago trip

Anyway, when I knew the group was on their way back Friday afternoon, I texted one of the girls that had gone and mentioned that sometime I wanted to hear all about how it went. She replied that she would be glad to tell me, and mentioned a situation involving Simon and Law in a negative light. I was dumbfounded; and heartbroken. After Chicago, I had such hopes that Law was changing - for the better. Now this?

I went around the house in a shock for a few hours, and I'm sure Trissy and Mom must have wondered what in the world was wrong with me.
I prayed and thought, and tried to remind myself that the Lord had the situation firmly in His hands, and that I should wait until the group got back and not jump to conclusions based on one negative remark. But I was still so sad. Why, when I mentioned that I'd like to know how things went at SOAR, was that the first thing the girl thought to tell me? Not, 'the music was uplifting', 'the speakers were passionate', or 'the messages were convicting and inspiring'; just, 'Simon and Law did not behave'. To her, did it stand out so bad as to drown out all the good that might have happened on the trip?

Later that evening, we were going up the road to spend the evening with The Grandparents, and as is my habit frequently, I rode my bicycle. As I pedaled down our little country dirt road, past the pastures and trees that make the beautiful spot where we live, the sun was at that late-afternoon position just before it starts sinking behind the trees; that angle where it's rays are cast almost perfectly horizontal across the landscape. The light was brilliant white gold, and with the direction of the sun's rays, every grass blade was turned into a bright green prism, each flower along the way exploded with brilliant color because of the light behind it, and anything that was not perfectly flat had a precise, sharp-edged silhouette on the ground beside it. It took my breath away. And as I rode along soaking it in, the thought involuntarily passed through my head, "If God can make something this beautiful, He must be trustworthy."
Of course I knew already that He was! But that amazingly beautiful late-afternoon scene was the sweet reminder I needed. The young lady I got the message from may have easily misunderstood the situation; regardless, it's always risky to pass judgement on anyone, or come to a final conclusion, after hearing only one side of a story - and one side was all I had. Almost without realizing it, I found my heart and mind completely at peace.

Sunday was glorious.
Aron was leading the music service that morning, but hadn't gotten enough music printed for all the guitars, so Archer and Law sat in the congregation with their family.

For days - maybe weeks - before this, I had prayed that God would really speak to Law at SOAR.
I watched him from the choir during the music service, then out of the corner of my eye during the sermon.

At one point as Bro. Earl spoke, Law suddenly bent down and took a tissue or two from the box under the pew in front of him, and laid them spread neatly on the pew beside him. I looked at his face, and I could not read it. It was stoic and yet soft, calm but gently disturbed. He blinked his eyes rapidly and he may have had tears, or a speck of dust in them. He could have been expecting to need the tissues to wipe his eyes, or to stifle a sneeze. But he did nothing more with them, other than to move them from his right to his left side on the pew.
I desperately wanted to believe that Something was working in that dear great heart. But I have learned that reading what you want to read on a page can be a dangerous business, for it may not actually be there, and basing your thoughts and actions on what you suppose, can result in grave mistakes.
It was, however, unmistakeably obvious that his usual mannerisms were altered. There was no pencil-twirling, no leaning forward with head down and elbows on knees, no rather glaze-eyed expression, and no resting with face in hand. He looked like a willing student in a class of chosen personal interest.
Oh how my heart ached for him!
Bro. Earl brought the service to a close and Aron got up to lead the final hymn, "His Eye is on the Sparrow". The congregation began singing, and almost before I could believe it, Law was slipping out from between the pews and striding up to Bro. Earl. He wrapped his arms around him as if he was the only standing tree in a tossing flood. Words passed between them, then Law came back and slipped back to his spot.

During the service, in among my sermon notes on the back of the bulletin, were interspersed prayers for Law. At the bottom I'd quoted the first half of Ps. 119:126 - "It is time for Thee, Lord, to work".
Now below that I wrote, "And He is!"

Supreme Happiness

I am supremely happy. This has been a Sunday of great things! Oh how GOOD the Lord is!!

Precious little Maxwell was in church for the first time this morning. Trissy and I had nursery today, so didn't really get to see him until after church. But we didn't have any kids in the nursery for a while, so at one point I left to creep down the hall, around the corner, and peek in at the little windows of one of the doors into the auditorium - the one behind where my family usually sits.
I looked over at Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie, just like I have for so many Sundays in the past. 
I'd look over at them and imagine the day when the Lord would grant my prayers and the prayers of so many others, and they would be sitting together, just like always, but their arms would no longer be empty.

When I peeked in that window, I saw that picture. Only this time it was not my wishful thinking taking snapshots for my hopeful imagination. This time, it was real.
How my heart is singing!

Mrs. Carrie had him in his carrier after church, so no one held him, but (when I finally got over there after rushing to get out of the nursery after church) as Bro. Dennis was taking him up the isle to go to the car, he saw me hurrying over, craning my neck to get a look, and turned the carrier so I could see. I knelt down and looked into that tiny face.

He was so perfect. So little, such a baby, but his face was such a perfect blend of Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie. So real. My heart felt like it might stop.
One little hand was out from under the blanket. I touched it and he moved his fingers, and it was like touching a miracle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am so overwhelmed by the KINDNESS of the Lord. We in no way deserve for Him to look upon us with pity, to acknowledge our hurts, to feel or ease our pain. But He does. 


"Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." Ps. 27:14

"For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of Him:" 1 Samuel 1:27

Dennis Joseph - A.K.A. "Maxwell"

HE'S HERE!!

Dennis Joseph (A.K.A. "Maxwell"), born Dec. 8, 2011, late in the afternoon, 20 inches long, weighing 7 lbs. 11 oz.

"And therefore will the LORD wait, that He may be gracious unto you, and therefore will He be exalted, that He may have mercy upon you: for the LORD is a God of judgment: blessed are all they that wait for Him." Isa. 30:18

SOLI DEO GLORIA!

P.S. More later!

"Safety is of the Lord"

“For He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.” Ps. 91:11

Yesterday afternoon on her way to choir practice, Mrs. Carrie was in a wreck. It had been drizzling all afternoon, and the road was just wet enough to make the oil on the road slick and more dangerous than a heavy rainstorm. Coming around a curve near their house, she lost control and hydroplaned, her SUV ending up on it's side in a ditch. If it had been a car, it would have rolled completely over.

Bro. Dennis was already at the church practicing with the musicians, and Bro. Blake (who went with him when they got the call) told us later that he had to beg him to slow to 80 mph on their way out there. They had no idea what they would find.

But the Lord was merciful. Mrs. Carrie only had a burn from the seatbelt on her arm, and when they took her to the hospital just to make sure everything was alright, they said the baby's heartrate was normal, and they were both fine, though obviously shaken up. Bro. Blake said Bro. Dennis's heartrate was probably what they needed to worry about!

How many prayers have been prayed for this precious child! Both for his creation, and for his future. Just yesterday morning in his sermon, Bro. Earl mentioned how he was praying that this grandbaby would grow to become a godly man, teach his own children the ways of God, and serve the Lord with his life - like his daddy has. How I've prayed, that the Lord would save him while he's young, that he would grow to be a godly man and a preacher for Christ, that he would lead many people to the Lord, and that he would raise his own family for the Lord, that until the end of time, there would be a man of this line serving God.
And the whole church it seems, has been praying for this little miracle, and now is anxiously waiting for him to arrive. That baby will never lack for love - or attention!

Could it be that the devil is trying to stop him, even now? The Lord is SO kind and merciful! We could have lost one or both of them. Yet, He left them both to us - alive and well.

My heart is overwhelmed by His graciousness, His compassion, His pity, and His indescribable goodness.

Words cannot express how I feel. But He hears the words my heart is singing!

What else can I do but worship?

Blessed be the name of the Lord!

"5 Small Things Friday" No. 2

Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".
For this week, here is my list:

1. Sight: A living evidence of an answered prayer.

2. Hearing: A happy wren's evening song.

3. Smell: Bacon cooking at Waffle House.

4. Taste: Cool clean water after a 2.5 mile walk/run.

5. Touch: A child's hand in mine.


The stories behind the list:

1. Every year, on a Wednesday night in October, Victory Rd. meets at the college's football field / walking track instead of at church. We have a devotional on the bleachers, then the rest of the evening is spent eating supper, visiting, and walking/running on the track. The walk/run helps raise money for Life Word broadcast ministries.
This past Wednesday night was our walk/run. At one point I took a break and climbed up the bleachers to watch those on the track down below, and I saw Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie were walking together. 'Strolling' is a more accurate word, though, since Mrs. Carrie's size is preventing her from moving very fast anymore :) . Bro. Dennis loves to 'work the crowds' and usually manages to seem like he's everywhere at once, but this time he was just walking with her. It was such a beautiful picture - him slowing down for her, the two of them chatting away as they walked, and the obvious evidence of answered prayers and new life. As I watched them, my heart overflowed with thankfulness, joy, and tremendous gratitude to the Lord for His goodness, compassion, and kindness - to them, and to those that love them!

2. I was washing my car Saturday evening, enjoying the fresh fall air. Suddenly a wren started singing at the edge of our yard. He was singing his little heart out, and it sounded like he was just so happy he had to praise the Lord :) . It made me glad.

3. As I got off work the other day, the Waffle House next door to the Academy was warming up for the supper crowd. It smelled SO good!

4. Wednesday night at the walk, I walked and ran a total of 2.5 miles. That's not that much, but a big drink of cool fresh water was so refreshing afterward! So many people don't have clean water at all - the Lord has been so good to me, even in things like clean water that I take so for granted sometimes.

5. During a huge part of my time on the track, one of my little after-school girls trotted along beside me. Her and her two brothers usually get picked up from school and taken straight to the church and dropped off for class on Wednesday nights, but since the church was meeting to walk this night and there was no class, they had come ahead anyway with the group of kids on the church bus. Their family situation is so sad and mixed up. I try to be a friend and a good influence during the time I have them at after-school, and I've gotten pretty close to them I think. She followed along beside me chatting away lap after lap, and she's only nine or ten. Once as we were walking along, she slipped her hand into mine. My heart ached for her and all others like her, but I was so thankful to think that maybe I could make a difference in her life.

What Else Can I do But Worship?

"Thank You" is not enough. He is too great. It is all too amazing.
"Thank You" is not enough. What else can I do but worship?



Note: Details later.

Darkness, yet Light

Life is filled with joys and sorrows, ups and downs, sunshine and shadow, light and darkness. The Lord balances these things in our lives for reasons of His own. I suspect one of those reasons to be something along these lines: He gives us joys so that we will know His goodness, and rest in it, being thankful. He gives us sorrows so that we will not get too comfortable and forget Where the goodness comes from, but remember He is the great Comforter, He is the Maker of the ‘All’.

Recently a similar situation was bestowed on two separate families among some of my dear friends. So many of the 'little' details were the same, it was fascinating. So many were, of course, unique and different.

But things come that we do not foresee, unexpected – and undesired – twists in the plots of our lives. Now one family is yet rejoicing, and the other is bereaved.
Light and darkness. In my life, in the lives of those I love.

But “…the Light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.” (John 1:5) and in the end, the darkness must be driven out by the Light, simply because the Light is more powerful than the darkness - the darkness must bow to the Light.
Those who have the Light, cannot continue traveling in the darkness. They may walk the sad road for a while, but it will not stay dark forever. Day will come again. Perfect love casts out fear; light casts out darkness; though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, He is with us. Woe to those who have not the Light; and oh what a Refuge – what a Brightness – for those who have!

"For thou, LORD, hast made me glad through Thy work: I will triumph in the works of Thy hands. ... Thy thoughts are very deep." Ps. 92:4 & 5b

SOLI DEO GLORIA!

With God, All Things Are Possible

"Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name"


Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie are expecting a baby, due December 10th.

I am overwhelmed.

SOLI DEO GLORIA!

"...for the LORD will do great things."

Note: This post has been compiled and added to over the course of several weeks, and is not yet a complete account. I may be adding to it.

March 14th ~

D-Now started it.
I have been receiving lots of lessons on prayer lately it seems, and have been provoked to deep thought, and encouraged by these lessons in my prayers for children for Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie. I've been praying that, before Mrs. Carrie's birthday (May 1st), they will find out that they are expecting a child.
The week before D-Now, Trissy and I and Autumn were at the church working on painting and things in preparation. Autumn found a CD player, and turned it on. One of the songs was called "That's What Faith Can Do".
We were busy working, so I wasn't paying really close attention, until the chorus:

"I've seen dreams that move the mountains,
hope that doesn't ever end, even when the sky is falling.
I've seen miracles just happen,
silent prayers get answered,
broken hearts become brand new.
That's what Faith can do."

Then of course, as I've said, the series we used as our 'curriculum' for the weekend was focusing on prayer. Persistent prayer. For sake of the amount of time I have right now, I won't tell all about it, but I'll try to come back later.

During the revival then, the preacher made several comments regarding powerful prayer. Here again, I'll try to come back later and fill this area in.

Yesterday evening at church, as Trissy and I were waiting on everyone to gather for choir practice, Aron's mom came in absolutely beaming, and spoke to a couple of ladies who were also sitting visiting, and waiting on choir practice: Aron and Henley are expecting their first child after being married less than a year.
How happy I am for them! And yet oh how it tore my heart to think, as more people came in and the news spread, how dear, sweet Mrs. Carrie must be hurting amid the hub-bub. Aron's mother could hardly talk about anything except becoming a grandmother during the lulls between songs at Choir Practice. Of course, she should be excited and proud!
Yet I wondered what Mrs. Carrie was thinking, and Bro. Dennis, as he led the practice and kept us in stitches with his merriment.

How tempting it is to think, "It's not fair."

But, of course, it is - God decides what's fair, not us.

This morning during my devotional, I was struggling to stay awake after getting up earlier than usual. I've been reading in the Old Testament, and am now in Joel. For various reasons, I read only the first half or so of chapter two yesterday morning (I usually read a whole chapter), and was going to finish today. So this morning I was fighting my droopy eyelids and trying to be attentive as I read, when I came across verse 21, and was jerked to attention - it seemed the Lord called to me with that first verse, and kept speaking gently, personalizing the verses as I read them:

"Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice: for the LORD will do great things.
(Don't be afraid, you that are Mine, because of what you think might or might not happen. Be glad! Rejoice! I the Lord will do great things.)
Be not afraid, ye beasts of the field: for the pastures of the wilderness do spring,
(Don't be afraid, you who I take care of; the barren place is barren no longer - it is Spring! - the time of young and growing things, and they are springing to life. )
for the tree beareth her fruit, the fig tree and the vine do yield their strength.
(the wife is fruitful; her husband is strengthened.)
Be glad then, ye children of Zion, and rejoice in the LORD your God:
(Be glad then, My child, and rejoice in the LORD your God)
for He hath given you the former rain moderately, and He will cause to come down for you the rain, the former rain, and the latter rain
(for He has rained blessings on you before with answered requests - He will bring down more and more)
in the first month.
(at the time you have asked.)
And the floors shall be full of wheat, and the vats shall overflow with wine and oil.
(There will be a full reason for rejoicing - and no end to the rejoicing itself.)
And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm,
(I will restore to you the years that seem to have been wasted and lost)
My great army which I sent among you.
(but I sent them - and for a reason.)
And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied,
(And you will have more than you thought or asked, and will be satisfied)
and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and My people shall never be ashamed.

And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the LORD your God, and none else: and My people shall never be ashamed."

Joel 2:21-27

Also today, as I was looking at the list in my dashboard of blogs I'm 'following', I noticed a post on prayer. Though the subject was a different one, at the bottom of the post was a 'quotable' that just whacked me in the face when I read it:

"God does answer prayer. All the time. Just not how you think He will."

I don't know what's going to happen. But the Lord does.

May 1st ~

May 1st - Mrs. Carrie's birthday. Nothing.
"We Will Understand It Better By And By". "Farther Along".
Yet will I trust Him - I must trust Him, or my faith will be crippled to such an extent as I must never allow it to be while I am able.
The "Why?" question. They say people always ask, "Why?". I used to pride myself on the fact that I did not. But I haven't been able to honestly say that for a while. I do ask "Why?", though mine is more like, "WHY?!"
Why does He award children to wicked, sensually-minded, selfish, ignorant, unmarried, unashamed sinners, who then thank Him for the gift by throwing it away, when the Godly, pure, humble, faithful, patient husband and wife weep at the death of a miracle, and wait broken-hearted in tentative hope?
I do ask "Why?". I am asking "Why?".
What more could one want in a real man, than Bro. Dennis? And what more is to be desired in a real woman, than Mrs. Carrie?
Are there two people more qualified to be entrusted with the care and raising of a new soul?!
Yet will I trust Him. I MUST trust Him. What right have I not to trust Him? Am I so arrogant to pretend to know better than God Almighty?! To shake my head disbelievingly when the Maker of everything chooses to not follow my plan of proceeding?
No, I don't mean to!
So why do I doubt?
If He is Who I believe He is (and He is) then why do I feel so betrayed? So broken? Why does my hope feel mangled? My dreams mocked?
That old Serpent. Could he be tempted with faith such as what I had, and let it lay peaceful and unchallenged? Now that I think of it, this could be a very real and quite probable answer.
I did have faith. I firmly believed that we would find out today that Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie were going to have a child. My mind even subconsciously envisioned the senario. And as I watched it play out in my mind, my heart would almost stop for joy!
I believed, but it did not happen.
So my belief, or faith, or lack thereof, did not cause the denial of my request.
That means God had it planned a certain way all along (well, of course He did - I'm just thinking/reasoning out loud, trying to sort things out here in my own mind).
And if He had it planned out in such a way as could not line up with mine, I wonder if it hurt Him to go ahead and do it, knowing how it would hurt me.
I'm even envisioning now a senario of finding out some time later this week, that things worked out like I asked for them to, I just didn't find out about it under the timetable I had imagined :) . Wouldn't that be funny? People say God has a sense of humor, and I hope that's not disrespectful, because I'm sure it's true!
But I have no right to expect or even hope for that. He will do things as He wants them done. And that's always the way they should be done. But OH how hard it is sometimes to say, "Not mine, but Thy will be done."

I wonder if the above type of conversation is what the Bible is talking about when it says in Proverbs, "
Ok. Boy! What is He doing?!
I was just about to say how the conversation I've been having here with myself must be what the Bible was talking about in Proverbs when it said to commune with your own heart upon your bed. So I was going to look it up to get the right wording, only it's not Proverbs, it's Psalms!! So I went to search for it in another tab, and when I realized it was Psalms, I searched again for "KJV Psalm 4:4".
The link I clicked on took me to Psalm 37:4 - nothing to do with "Psalm 4:4" except "Psalm" and "4"

"4 Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."

Oh. My. Goodness.

And I just noticed, it doesn't have Psalm 37:4. It has Psalm 37:4-5

"4 Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass."

I don't know what to say right now. I'll come back later. I've got to think. Without trying to type my thoughts at the same time.

May 2nd ~

I'm the last one to bed. It's fairly late. I was feeling all confused and muddled, and my soul was restless and disquieted. I'm not sure what to think about all the input I've been getting, and needed a verse or promise to 'hang on to' amid the confusion.
I sat down on my bed, reached over, and took my Bible from my desk. I opened it to Psalms, and my eyes fell on Ps. 4:1 & 4:

"Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: Thou has enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer. ... Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah."

How appropriate.

Law And Grace

{To most of you who may read this, the title of this post will not appear to have much, if anything, to do with the post itself. But it has significance to me, and I have my reasons for naming it this way.}

During D-Now, as well as great triumphs, there were a couple of major disappointments. One has to do with a specific person, the younger brother of one of our dear college friends.

Even though I don't use real names here, I still hesitate to specify who it was. But it is a young man who has been raised in a family setting very similar to Trissy's and mine. When they first came to the church and we began to get to know them, we were refreshed and blessed by their Godliness and old-fashioned sense of values and living. When the three youngest kids were enrolled in the Christian Academy, and this young man became good friends with another young man in the school who seemed to be needing some Godly influence, I was so glad and thankful, and hoped the one would be that Godly influence on the other.
That was well over a year ago, and though I haven't become "close" friends with him, as I have with his older, college-age sibling, and with his two younger sisters, I've still enjoyed watching him grow into - seemingly - a maturing and God-honoring young man. As an example, he is very accomplished musically, and around that same time, another young person publicly praised his talent. He looked them pointedly in the eye, and stated emphatically, "This is for Jesus."
Though just in his early teenage years, he showed great promise of becoming a dependable and great man.

Then D-Now, and at one point I happened to overhear him make a comment to someone that, though not terrible by most standards, did not strike me as being completely appropriate, and I frowned slightly to myself, thinking that was a rather poor reflection of the general standards of his family.
Later that same evening, my heart felt as though it had been torn open, when one of the other young people made a sort of off-hand remark about a supposed incident this same young man had been involved in. I could not believe it, and though hanging on to the fact that the story was, as far as I could tell, still just a rumor, I hurt so bad to think that it actually could be true.

I hung onto my faith in this dear young brother's integrity, watching and hoping for an opportunity to verify whether the story was true, or just another silly teenager's idea of a bad joke on a friend.
I have not been able to find out for sure on that particular story, but as the weeks have passed since D-Now, incident after little incident have occurred, giving evidence that he is not the same as he once was.
He's been caught texting during at least one church service; he skipped church one Sunday night to play instruments with a friend, who also was supposed to be in church (the same friend, I might add, from the Academy who I and others had hoped he would be a 'good influence' on); during Wednesday night small-group time, he has expressed indifference; and he just generally has an attitude that seems to indicate he may be slipping from a firm foundation, to go floating off listlessly into a sea of indifferent apathy.

There are several people in the church who are very concerned about him.

Yesterday I was in Wal*Mart for something, and I kept passing young people there, and I thought, 'Who will save them from this wicked and perverse generation?! How many will fall prey to the wiles of the Devil - the Destroyer of all that is dear and precious and young and tender? If our own are 'falling away', what is to become of the rest, who have no foundation?'. And of course I understand, nothing will happen that Almighty God does not see, allow, and possibly even cause, to happen. Yet so many times I feel I am being torn apart with the realization of my frailty and helplessness to rescue the thousands, millions even, of starfish that lay dying and vulnerable on the scorching sand.

But, like the starfish story, I can help to rescue one, ten, or maybe even (if I work diligently without delay) a hundred or even a thousand.
I hope the Lord will use me greatly, in the life of this young man, and in the lives of the other struggling young people I have had the honor of influencing and knowing here at the church.

People will disappoint you - no two ways about it. The Lord will not.
And this is not 'the end'. The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and of great mercy. Perhaps this dear boy is struggling with some unseen doubt or enemy, that no one knows about, and in his confusion and hardship, he's reacting in the wrong way - pushing away the only true Help that there is.
But there is always hope. While there's life, there's hope. And the Lord works in ways we can not always see. He gives Grace.
Last night after church I was so sad over him. Before I went to bed, I opened my Bible to the book of Psalms, looking for something to give me comfort and reassurance of the Lord's presence and control.
It opened to the first chapter (there was a bookmark there), and I started to flip through it, turning the page. On the next page, in chapter 4, were some verses I'd underlined months, perhaps years, ago; they had been an encouragement in another situation, and as I re-read them, I felt comfort and hope again:

"...commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still.
Selah.
...put your trust in the Lord.
...
I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety."

I went back and read the whole chapter, and it all seemed to strangely apply to this situation.

To anyone who reads this: Please pray for this friend. I don't know how to pray, how to ask you to pray - just do.

SOLI DEO GLORIA!