Sunday - In Sunday School this past week, Bro. S. introduced a subject he said we're going to be looking at for the next several weeks. The past two weeks he's taught on 'honoring your parents', and it has been so good. It wasn't one of those hard, knock-you-over-the-head lessons from a parent to a bunch of children. It was delivered in such a loving and friendly way, simply like a caring, more experienced adult giving advice to some young people with less experience. Very well done, and I enjoyed and appreciated it so much - not to mention the 'food for thought' that it's given me!
This past Sunday, we started looking at the relationship between God and people. More specifically, the relationship between God and believers in Christ. And more specifically than that, the tremendous, unbelievable, undeserved, unfathomable love that God the Father has toward His children.
Then, every day this week, it seems that something has happened in relation to that subject...
Monday - I was driving back to the house after work and, as I often do, I flipped on the Christian radio station. In the time it took me to get back to the house, four songs played. And they and their order were significant.
The song playing when I turned the radio on was called "Praise You In The Storm". I just sat and listened and let it soak into me - I usually sing with the radio if I know the song, but I was so tired. Not so much physically, but emotionally. My heart has sung this song to the Lord several times over the years, always in times of acute pain. Now as I listened, I thought of Mrs. Renae and her family, and my so-far-unfailing hope that restoration will happen quickened again, and my heart wept.
"I was sure by now
God, You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away -
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say 'Amen',
and it's still raining.
And as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
'I'm with you'.
And as Your mercy falls,
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives,
and takes away.
I'll praise You in this storm,
and I will lift my hands,
for You are who You are
no matter where I am.
And every tear I've cried,
You hold in Your hand.
You've never left my side.
And though my heart is torn,
I'll praise You in this storm.
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind;
You heard my crying,
and raised me up again.
My strength is almost gone.
How can I carry on
if I can't find You?
But as the thunder rolls,
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
'I'm with you'.
And as Your mercy falls,
I'll raise my hands and praise the God who gives,
and takes away.
And I'll praise You in this storm,
and I will lift my hands,
for You are who You are
no matter where I am.
And every tear I've cried,
You hold in Your hand.
You never left my side.
And though my heart is torn,
I'll praise You in this storm.
I lift my eyes unto the hills;
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord -
the Maker of Heaven and Earth.
The Maker of Heaven and Earth!
And I'll praise You in this storm,
and I will lift my hands,
for You are who You are
no matter where I am.
And every tear I've cried,
You hold in Your hand.
You never left my side.
And though my heart is torn,
I will praise You in this storm!"
"Praise You In The Storm" was followed by a song called "Every Good Thing". It was a bouncy song, yet the words spoke to me like a gentle rebuke; an admonishing to take time to think of what the Lord has given - all the beautiful treasures He's scattered around me - not just mourn the ones He's taken. To not let the ones that aren't in my posession at the moment swell so they block out the view of the many ones that are.
"I tend to be busier than I should be.
And I tend to think that time is going to wait for me.
Sometimes I forget, and take for granted
that it's a beautiful life we live.
I don't want to miss the moments like this -
this is a beautiful life You give!
You're the reason for every good thing, every heartbeat,
every day we get to breathe.
You're the reason for anything that lasts, every second chance,
every laugh. Life is so sweet!
You're the reason for every good thing.
There will be days that give me more than I can take,
but I know that You always make beauty from my heartache.
I don't want to forget or take for granted
that it's a beautiful life we live.
I'm not going to miss the moments like this -
this is a beautiful life You give!
You're the reason for every good thing, every heartbeat,
every day we get to breathe.
You're the reason for anything that lasts, every second chance,
every laugh. Life is so sweet!
You're the reason for every good thing.
It's our family, it's our friends,
it's the feeling that I get when I see my children smile.
You're the reason for this life, everything we love;
it's You alive in us.
You're alive in us.
You're the reason for every good thing, every heartbeat,
every day we get to breathe.
You're the reason for anything that lasts, every second chance,
every laugh. Life is so sweet!
You're the reason for every good thing.
You are here in every moment,
And I know that You're the reason for
every good thing."
Next was a lilting, 'fluffy' song, the kind where the words don't really matter all that much, it's just light and happy and maybe silly or even down right ridiculous, but it leaves you with a smile and a light heart. "One Drop" is the name of this one, and it has been used as the promotional song for an organization that digs water wells in Africa, I believe.
"I need you and
you need me.
Left alone
we will never be who we could be.
So take my hand and
don't forget that
we can do anything together.
Just one drop of your love,
a single ray of sun,
just one thing to change the world.
It's just you
and me.
Starting with a dream,
and giving it all we've got,
only takes one drop.
Come with me now.
Look and see how
there's an ocean overflowing with our hopes.
So let's jump in and take a swim -
it's you and me forever.
Just one drop of your love,
a single ray of sun,
just one thing to change the world.
It's just you
and me.
Starting with a dream,
and giving it all we've got,
only takes one drop.
I need you and you need me -
we can do anything together."
The next and last song was "Remind Me Who I Am". Just before I turned on the radio, I had been thinking of that song and - though I know - I asked the Lord that He would just remind me who I am: one of His, one He loves.
"When I lose my way and I forget my name,
remind me who I am.
In the mirror all I see is who I don't want to be.
Remind me who I am.
In the loneliest places
when I can't remember what grace is.
Tell me, once again,
who I am to You.
Tell me, lest I forget
who I am to You, that I belong to You.
When my heart is like a stone, and I'm running far from home,
remind me who I am.
When I can't receive Your love, afraid I'll never be enough,
remind me who I am.
If I'm Your beloved,
can You help me believe it?
Tell me, once again,
who I am to You.
Tell me, lest I forget
who I am to You, that I belong to You.
I'm the one You love.
I'm the one You love.
That will be enough!
I'm the one You love!
Tell me, once again,
who I am to You.
Tell me, lest I forget
who I am to You, that I belong to You.
To You."
With the first song, the Lord got my attention. With the second, He gently rebuked me. With the third, He made me smile. With the last, He signed the message.
And I sat in my car in my yard for a few minutes before getting out, feeling hugged and truly loved.
Tuesday - Tuesday began as kindof a rough day - little things adding up to make for a stressful morning. But then I got to work with Autumn at the restaurant, which is always refreshing. I love it when we're scheduled to work together. Once during the morning, when we weren't very busy, I just stopped and stood and looked out one of the big side windows at the blue sky and white summer clouds and the slow small-town traffic, and breathed in with contentment. And it felt like the Lord touched me deep inside. You know how when you touch your finger in the center of a small puddle of water, it makes happy ripples float out from the touch, gently covering the entire surface with movement? That's how it felt.
Then music practice later that afternoon was really nice. Nothing extreme, just comfortable, smooth, really relaxed and easy. And after practice, during a parking-lot visit with one of the others, I was paid one of the highest (and most convicting) compliments I've ever received. The whole way back to the house, I was keenly aware of the working of the Lord in this situation - His gentle power that answers prayers and changes hearts and hears and responds to the tortured cries of the broken-hearted and wraps them softly in joy.
Wednesday - It was Joy's birthday and I canceled piano lessons with Piper and took Joy, Piper, and Abigail for ice cream at McDonald's before church. Piper got an ice cream cone, Abigail got a chocolate-dipped ice cream cone, and Joy and I got the blueberry/pomegranate smoothies McD's has been having this summer. We sat at a little booth table beside a big window looking out on the fenced-in play area with it's towering play set, and visited and made silly jokes at each other. We laughed when Abigail's chocolate shell on her ice cream began melting and left smudges on her nose as she'd try to lick the ice cream inside, the girls made fun of me for taking so long to sip my [freezing cold] smoothie, we discussed Joy's new nail art and Piper's new oxfords and dainty bow necklace, we made observations about the people driving by outside leaving the drive-thru, and Joy, Piper and I watched Abigail when she went outside to try to climb to the top of the play set, even though she is really too old for that.
The place was pretty much empty; there was only one other man at a table across the room and we must have given him an amusing time with our banter. We weren't rudely loud, but we were obviously enjoying being together. I looked at the pretty laughing faces of my three young friends and felt a great privilege and responsibility. It was as if the Lord reminded my heart that He had given them to me, as friends, and also as young hearts to influence.
Thursday - Thursday afternoon, about fifteen minutes before I was supposed to get off, a big white truck pulled in. It looked familiar, and any time a familiar vehicle pulls in, I automatically freeze and stare until I can figure out if it is someone I know, or only a look-alike.
But it wasn't a look-alike this time. The truck stopped at the speaker and when my co-worker answered, the voice said, 'I'm here to pick up a call-in for Dennis.'
Bro. Dennis. Here. We were pretty busy and I scurried to finish serving the people who were waiting, hoping I could finish in time to be the one to take him his food. But I was a little scared too. What would I say to him? Would it be awkward? Would he be coldly polite, take his food, and leave? Would I be able to somehow convey the truth that we missed him so much at church?
The timing wasn't perfect, but it somehow worked out that the other girl was busy or something, so I did get to wait on him.
When I came to the window, I was caught just a little off guard, because when he saw me, he greeted me just like he would have in the old days! - with that big grin and a "Hey!" - like he knew I worked there, but had forgotten, and was surprised to see me, but as friendly and as like the old Bro. Dennis as ever! I responded similarly as he handed me his money. After putting it in the register, I went and got his drink, then hurried back to the window with it, leaving the other girl to go to the kitchen for the food. I was focused and wasn't even thinking of how inconsiderate I probably seemed to her. I hope she didn't think me rude. Back at the window, I handed Bro. Dennis his drink, mentioning that I'd never seen him there before, but that maybe he had come at times I wasn't working. He said he actually prefers this restaurant's food to the other 'fast-food' places in town, he just forgets to call it in usually, and doesn't have enough time to sit and wait for it to be fixed. After a few more moments of unimportant (but so special, simply for it's ordinary-ness) conversation, he said good-bye and drove away, and I closed the window and wanted to burst into both laughter and sobs at the same time. But then I got the same feeling I get when some friend is watching me, and I turn to look and see who it is. Only this time, I knew Who it was, and I felt like He was smiling at me - compassionate of my flustered insignificance, but lovingly and powerfully active in His part of the situation.
Thursday was also the first day of school at the academy. I cannot describe the pleasure it gave me that afternoon when I got there to work the after-school program, to sit in the foyer again and watch the students coming through to go to their waiting rides. The familiar faces back again from last year, the new faces and names to learn, teachers and students calling good-byes to each other, the busy bustling, little people dragging their huge bookbags down the hall, the festive spirit of the end of the first day of school.
Also Thursday evening, Dad's brother and his family (who pastor's a church and live about an hour north of us) came to visit and we decided to go out to eat. We don't eat out much, so we cruised through town, considering the options. One place we tried was closed, but the Japanese restaurant was right next door. As we pulled through the big parking-lot the two places share (in my uncle's big out-of-town church van), I spotted a gold Ford Explorer leaving the Japanese place. Trissy saw it too, and we exclaimed, 'There's Law!' and somehow then we were all waving and calling, and Law waved back in a casual, friendly way (though he obviously didn't recognize the van), then just for good measure, our uncle (who is loves a good joke) beeped the horn as the two vehicles passed each other, and Law turned to look back with a mixture of curiosity and amusement on his face. Something about the whole episode was just so comical that we kept laughing for a good few minutes afterwards!
Friday - Friday was a long day. It was tiring and had been pretty difficult in spots.
That night, I went up with Mom to help her help The Grandparents get in bed and settled for the night. The Grandmother had made a new apron that morning and ;wanted me to see it, telling me it was on the back of the couch in the den (her little sewing room is right off the den). So when they were in bed and Mom was just doing a couple more things, I went on down through the den, to go out the garage and go ahead and get in the car and wait for her. I stopped of course to look at the new apron. The Grandmother loves to make aprons, and I'd seen just about every variation on every pattern she could come up with over the years so, I must admit, I unfolded it more out of duty than out of genuine interest (in my defense though, I was so tired that nothing much was likely to spark my interest other than my comfortable bed with the covers pulled back). But when I unfolded and spread it out, I exclaimed in genuine admiration! It was a full-length apron, double sided and top-stitched. There was a pocket on each side and trim that matched the pretty fabric (a deep bright blue with white daisies on it). I was so proud for her that I spoke aloud, even though the room was empty, "Wow! I'm impressed! I am really impressed!"
After admiring her work a few moments more, I went on outside and through the lighted garage. And stopped in the big garage-door opening, struck almost physically by the sight. Spread in the sky before me was an amazing panorama. One of the pecan trees in the pasture was an ink-black delicate filigree against the glorious sky. The sky was a backdrop of crystal glitter and soft blue-green swirls on an expanse of dusky navy blue. It was unbelievable! I think I've only seen anything that stunning in images of the northern lights. I'd automatically lifted my eyes when the garage light was behind me and the dusky darkness of the evening was ahead of me, and being hit with that amazing view was like walking through a silent hallway, opening a door, and Handel's "Messiah" bursting out from hundreds of voices inside an expansive auditorium. Few times in my life have I ever wanted a good camera so bad as at that moment.
And when the words I'd just uttered a few seconds before went through my head again in this instance, I was so overwhelmed that I began to weep, because the very sky seemed to boom, "I LOVE YOU."
Saturday - At some point during the day, I came across this verse: Malachi 3:10. I do not remember the context of when or where I saw it, but it speaks for itself:
"Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."
Sunday - Sunday night then in our 'small-group' meeting, when it came time for prayer requests or praise reports afterwards, I mentioned how it had been a difficult week in some ways, but also how it seemed like the Lord had sent me a special something each day to just remind me that He was in control and cared about me and loved me. How, as the week progressed, I began waking up in the morning with a feeling of anticipation, thinking, 'I wonder what it will be today!'
Note: I did not get to write this post immediately, while the events were still fresh on my mind. I jotted down notes about the first days and so was able to compose them, but all I have for Saturday is "Malachi 3:10", and no notes for Sunday. But each day of this week, there was some special 'something' that happened to me that felt like a 'hug' from my heavenly Father. As the week went on, I would wake up in the morning eagerly wondering, "What's it going to be today?"
I hate it that I didn't get to record those things with all the details, but I'm thankful for what there is, and the principle is preserved. What a special week it was!
Showing posts with label Bro. Dennis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bro. Dennis. Show all posts
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Friday, August 23, 2013
"5 Small Things Friday" No. 99
Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".
For this week, here is my list:
1. Sight: 'Praying' Hands Shadow
2. Hearing: "You look cute." / Conversation With Bro. Dennis
3. Smell:
4. Taste: Blueberry/Pomegranate Smoothie
5. Touch:
The stories behind the list:
1. Wednesday night as Bro. Nick was teaching, a shadow on the door caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. The door is to the left at the front of the room, and when I turned to look, I saw it was a shadow of what looked like hands folded to pray cast on the door. Bro. Nick, in his earnestness to make some point, had pressed his hands together, pointing them toward his young audience, and their shadow was cast on the youth room door by the lights on the opposite wall. The symbolism made it an image of striking significance. I caught my breath. Oh that the Lord would indeed make this room and this youth group a place characterized by prayer, so that any who go through that door would feel it's power!
2. Sunday I tried something a little different (for me), style-wise. I found belts at Dirt Cheap for a dollar this past week, and (besides getting two narrow brown ones that I've been wanting for months) I decided to be adventurous and get a sortof indigo/perriwinkle blue one too. I usually stick to simple and neutral when it comes to accessories (shoes, belts), so getting a blue belt was a little different for me. But for a dollar, I figured if I ended up never wearing it, I could give it away!
So Saturday I was getting in my closet to decide what I'd wear the next day to church (I don't like having to do that Sunday morning with all the other church preparations going on; I'd rather have at least my clothes ready the night before) and I stumbled upon a light-periwinkle blue cotton print skirt I'd made several years before. I hadn't worn it much recently because the white blouse I'd always worn with it was needing mending (and is actually still hanging up in the sewing-room closet, waiting). But that skirt made me think of the belt. And then I remembered an off-white cardigan I'd gotten really cheap somewhere a few months ago, thinking it'd work with another outfit. It hadn't, but I like cardigans, so I'd kept it. I had an off-white sleeveless top I'd made to go under something else a year-or-so ago too. And beige patent flat shoes I'd bought for Toby and Lindy's wedding. All these pieces began popping into my head when I saw that skirt, and I wondered if the outfit would 'work'. But it was supposed to be hot, and I didn't want to suffer in a sweater, so I picked out something cooler.
Then Sunday morning came, drizzly and a little chilly, and at the last minute I pulled those pieces out of the closet, hastily ironed the skirt and cardigan (it had been smashed between some other things in my closet), and dressed in that outfit. The belt was too long, so I poked another hole in it with Mom's ice pick on my way out the door. I wasn't sure if the 'look' was that great on me after all, but there was no time to evaluate, so off I went.
Later after church, Autumn came up behind me on her way out and picked a couple of loose dark hairs off the back of my light-colored sweater (oh yeah, by the way, I really went out on a limb and wore my hair down - I never do that!), saying, "You've got hair all over you!"
'Oh, thanks!' I said gratefully, turning around, 'Just another reason I never wear my hair down!'
"I feel your pain!" she smiled, dropping the last one. 'My hair does the same thing.' She started to walk on, but gave me a once-over. "You look cute!" she complemented.
"Thanks!" I tried not to seem shocked, but I was so surprised! Autumn doesn't just dish out complements, so I knew she must not be flattering me - she really meant it! It made me feel really good.
/
Thursday afternoon, Bro. Dennis came through the restaurant drive-thru, about fifteen minutes before I was supposed to get off. I was carried back over a year as we made small talk and I handed him his order. It was so natural, I could hardly believe it. Just as if he'd taught Sunday School class a couple of days before, as if there had never been those months of silence and strangeness, like he was who he used to be, the Bro. Dennis I knew... ages ago. He wasn't 'faking' or 'putting it on' just so I'd give him his food and let him go - he was simply, matter-of-factly, carrying on a conversation with me as if nothing strange had ever happened and he hadn't figuratively disappeared from my world, or spoken to me only twice in almost a year. It was a very simple conversation (i.e. 'Hey, I've never seen you here before' 'Yeah, I'd come more often, I just forget. I like the food here better than most places actually' - something like that, you get the idea) but it was so much like old times that my heart was gladdened and my hope was renewed that - one day - restoration will happen.
3.
4. Wednesday evening before church I took Joy, Piper, and Abigail to McDonald's for an ice cream treat. Joy and I got one of the McD's blueberry/pomegranate smoothies they've been promoting this summer. I'd been wanting one since I first saw them advertised right before the Chicago mission trip, and finally got to try it. It was not too sweet, just very blueberry-y and pomegranate-y! Very good!
5.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
A Hodge-podge Collage
It's bedtime. The rest of the house is dark and quiet, but there is a lamp on beside me. I am ensconsed in Dad's big recliner in the living room for the night because I'm trying to organize my room and can't get to my bed at this point. I have a notebook and a pen...
My thoughts are like a hodge-podge collage tonight. Thoughts, colors, people, songs, scenes, events, past, present, future, all layered together and overlapping into a display that, really, is quite beautiful, in spite of the pain that's part of the piece.
Melissa's sadness * "Like An Avalanche" * Law's sweet prayer * Abigail's shirt striped with sequins * Julia saying good-bye * Autumn's joking rebuke that I can't figure out * the black hood of Austin's car * JV kids from last year back this year * seeing my 'brown-eyed boy' in Wal*Mart * "Christ In Me" * music practice last night * 'Multiply' with Joy * Law: "Was that a fat joke Austin?! You did! You just called Kyrie fat." Abigail: "Kyrie, he called you fat! Slap him!" Me: "No!" Austin's look of innocent bewildered confusion * my bedroom I'm wanting to clean out and organize * being behind on my '5 Small Things Friday' posts * wanting to write/journal * Uncle Alvin's family coming to visit * Law's soft shirt and lean hardness when he bumped against my arm * wanting to make things for the fair * hopes for our AWANAs at church * Bro. Nick's lesson tonight - 'Making Decisions for the Glory of God' * Lindy seeming pre-occupied * being hungry and tired * why didn't Archer come to Toby and Lindy's wedding? * not getting to tell Landon 'bye before he left for his year-long mission trip * Passion 2014? * letters to write * hugs from Piper * wearing my hair down * invite pain? reject pain? or forget pain? * "Learning To Be The Light" * VRCA school starting * needing to work on the academy website * What happened to Ashelyn and her husband? * Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie * Bro. Dennis joking like old times at Toby and Lindy's rehearsal supper * ...
My thoughts are like a hodge-podge collage tonight. Thoughts, colors, people, songs, scenes, events, past, present, future, all layered together and overlapping into a display that, really, is quite beautiful, in spite of the pain that's part of the piece.
Melissa's sadness * "Like An Avalanche" * Law's sweet prayer * Abigail's shirt striped with sequins * Julia saying good-bye * Autumn's joking rebuke that I can't figure out * the black hood of Austin's car * JV kids from last year back this year * seeing my 'brown-eyed boy' in Wal*Mart * "Christ In Me" * music practice last night * 'Multiply' with Joy * Law: "Was that a fat joke Austin?! You did! You just called Kyrie fat." Abigail: "Kyrie, he called you fat! Slap him!" Me: "No!" Austin's look of innocent bewildered confusion * my bedroom I'm wanting to clean out and organize * being behind on my '5 Small Things Friday' posts * wanting to write/journal * Uncle Alvin's family coming to visit * Law's soft shirt and lean hardness when he bumped against my arm * wanting to make things for the fair * hopes for our AWANAs at church * Bro. Nick's lesson tonight - 'Making Decisions for the Glory of God' * Lindy seeming pre-occupied * being hungry and tired * why didn't Archer come to Toby and Lindy's wedding? * not getting to tell Landon 'bye before he left for his year-long mission trip * Passion 2014? * letters to write * hugs from Piper * wearing my hair down * invite pain? reject pain? or forget pain? * "Learning To Be The Light" * VRCA school starting * needing to work on the academy website * What happened to Ashelyn and her husband? * Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie * Bro. Dennis joking like old times at Toby and Lindy's rehearsal supper * ...
Thursday, July 25, 2013
My Beautiful People
This is a sort of prose 'poem' I composed off the top of my head this afternoon. I was thinking about how beautiful people are, how detailed and exquisite God's craftsmanship is, and how it blesses me to look at it, and I just started writing about (some of) the beautiful people I know. I wrote about some of them as they are now, and about some of them as I have known them and as I know they can be again.
{Aug. 10th Note: I have edited and added to how it was originally; below is the edited version. And I will most likely continue to add to it in coming weeks - I know many beautiful people :) ! There is not necessarily a particular order, though I have tended to edit related people to be in groups. The paragraphs mostly just flowed from pictures of people I love that popped randomly into my mind's vision.}
"My Beautiful People"
I love how people are so beautiful.
I love Mrs. S's hair, flecked with a bare sprinkle of silver,
how it falls in a dark wing above her forehead.
I love how her words are always soft
but always significant.
How she tilts her head
and makes everyone who talks to her feel like
they are special.
I love how Austin's grin is worth a million dollars.
I love the little wrinkles at the corners of his eyes
and how he is one of the greatest examples of humility and undemonstrative compassion I have ever known.
How his eyes are sometimes contented green,
sometimes quiet caramel,
and sometimes snapping black.
How his thick hair is that dark gold color,
and how he absently plays with that lock in the front when he's thinking.
I love how Ava's brilliant deep blue eyes fill up half her face
and how her huge smile fills the other half.
How she braids a strand of her hair away from her face sometimes,
and how she ducks her head and does this awkward sort of dance up to you
when she wants a hug.
I love how perfect she is for Austin.
I love how understanding she is,
how easy to talk to,
and how she's the one I think of when I have a desire to do something really wacky or childish,
knowing she'd understand perfectly
and would probably do it with me.
I love how Bro. Dennis's laugh fills him up
and fills the room up
and fills the listeners up
so that they want to laugh too, even if they don't know what's going on.
I love his caramel eyes
and brown hair
and sideburns.
How he's so square and stocky.
I love how he cocks his head and glares at you with his eyebrows way up, when you've done something without thinking and he wants to call your attention to it, but in a teasing way.
I love how he thinks about everything, analyzing it until it's broken down and he can look at all it's parts
and then show them to someone else in a way that they can understand it.
I love how gentle-faced
and dignified Mrs. Carrie is.
How slim and tall she stands,
and how she can get from one spot to another quickly, but never appears to be hurrying.
How quietly elegant her style is.
I love her silky hair
and how it falls to her shoulders with gentle waves towards the bottom.
I love her dark-honey eyes
that observe keenly,
and speak volumes if you have the eyes to listen.
I love Oliver's passion,
his dreamer's heart.
How his grin could light up a dungeon
and how his black eyes squint when he is really smiling,
or get big when he's passionately trying to describe or get a point across.
How his black hair and tan skin make him look great in white.
I love Toby's humility,
his resilience,
and his quiet passion for the spread of the Gospel.
I love his blue eyes and dark blond hair,
his kind smile,
and the way he coins phrases or starts using already-invented ones in such a way that use of the expression seems to spread and become part of the every-day vocabulary of most who know him.
I love how devoted he is to Lindy,
how respectful he is of her,
and yet how they goof off and tease each other almost like siblings might.
I love Lindy's powder-blue eyes.
How healthy and gentle her face is.
I love how she's so powerful,
but so lady-like.
How she bends over backwards to make
the others in the situation feel comfortable.
I love Mrs. Renae's deep brown hair
and how it has red-ish highlights.
I love how when she's laughing,
her left eye squints just a little bit.
I love how she rejoices in life like a child might.
How she worships the Lord like no one else is watching,
or like the whole world is.
How she dresses so classy,
and modestly too.
I love how deep 'my brown-eyed boy's eyes are,
and how deep his voice is,
though he is so young.
I love how his hair is such a rich dark brown -
almost black.
How great he looks in dark teal.
How polite he is.
How, when he laughs, it's a squeak deep in his throat;
how it contrasts with his speaking voice.
I love how he gets in 'beast mode' when there's a job to do -
how his focus narrows so that he gives his best to do his part.
I love Piper's freckles,
her round-ish face,
her piercing eyes,
that are so wise.
I love her meek and quiet spirit,
her calm sensibility.
How she stands at an angle and looks at the ground ahead of you and sort of leans toward you with her near arm out just a little, when she wants a hug.
How when she wears her glasses,
she looks even cuter. And sortof scholarly.
How she is the perfect size to hug and prop my cheek on the top of her head,
but how she will probably end up taller than I am.
I love how Abigail is so brown and healthy-looking
from all the time she spends outside.
How she sometimes sweeps a little of her hair away from her face on either side in a sortof vintage style.
How she closes her eyes and then sweeps her head to face you and opens them dramatically when she's making a point.
I love how she blinks and sniffs at the same time,
how it wrinkles her nose and shows off her freckles
and her lovely eyelashes at the same time,
but how she doesn't even know she's doing it.
I love how she's always got a pun or corny joke to share.
How her giggle sounds light and free and pure.
I love Law's eyes; that amazing summer-forest color - a patch of sky, a few leaves, a glimpse of loamy earth.
How his light brown hair sweeps across his forehead like his mom's does.
I love how tall and broad-shouldered he's getting to be,
how brown he is from working outside in the sun all the time.
I love how when he smiles it lights up his whole being,
how his eyes get big and round and excited.
How fun-loving he is,
and yet, how responsible
and serious he can be when it counts.
I love how the joy of the Lord seems to fill him up
and pour out of him to bless and admonish others in his life.
I love Archer's sharp brown eyes, one of only two pairs I've ever known that could truly be said to 'twinkle',
how he smirks when he finds something amusing,
making that slight dimple come out in his cheek.
How he rocks back on the chair legs when he laughs, his chuckles starting as a squeak in his throat, his eyes squinting, and his nose wrinkling up.
How carefully and yet unknowingly he lifts a wing of dark almost-black hair away from his eyes with his fingertips, or rakes his hand through the top and pats it down.
His biting sarcasm that he then softens with a smirk and a twinkle as he cuts his eyes slyly at the victim.
His heart for service,
and how he doesn't back down from his decision unless presented with what he considers intelligent, compelling reasons.
I love how Julia's so pert, almost sassy,
in the way she teases her friends;
how her rude comments (that probably no one else could get away with) are her way of showing her friendship,
and how she hurries to assure you she was joking, even though you already knew she was.
How frank and honest you can count on her to be.
I love how naturally scrunchy/curly her blond hair is.
I love how she's the queen of crazy faces,
how she can make this bug-eyed stare and hold it long after you've given up staring back and are doubled over laughing.
I love those brilliant blue eyes of hers,
how she uses them with her fine blond eyebrows and
how she tilts and moves her head to be so expressive.
I love how she and Autumn (not being related at all) can be such close friends that they're like sisters.
I love Autumn's naturally scrunchy light brown hair,
her almond-shaped dark brown eyes,
how her smile shows how straight and white and perfect her teeth are,
and makes her dimples come out.
I love how she's not very tall,
but is so athletic
and sturdy.
How she doesn't brag,
but her talents just randomly come out when they're needed
and everyone thinks, "Wow."
I love Camille's strength,
not only physically,
but inside too.
How tall she is.
How thick and rich her brown hair is
and how it can get so long so fast.
I love how bright her green eyes are
and how clear and bright her complexion is
when she doesn't wear make up
and her hair is up out of her face.
How she seems so brusque
and almost tough,
but is really such a softie.
I love Bro. Mike's gray-ish hair
and short goatee
and slightly pointed ears
that earned him the nick-name, The Garden Gnome.
I love his kind blue eyes,
his short stocky build,
and how he believes in hard work
and in doing your best.
His wise,
calm,
loving,
understanding spirit.
I love Landon's good-natured spirit.
How he is the image of country-boy charm,
with his work boots, faded jeans, worn t-shirt (or button-up with the sleeves rolled up), and white-and-blue ball cap.
How that white-and-blue cap is almost as much a part of him as his name is!
How round his brown eyes are
and how high his eyebrows get when he's telling about one of the adventures that seem to constantly seek him out.
The air of hospitality,
kindness,
gladness,
and friendliness
that is part of his character.
I love how courageous Bro. Earl is,
how he can narrow his vision so that he can focus on the job at hand, and shut out the rest of life's difficulties for the time being.
I love how he always has a complement,
a joke,
or a pleasant remark
for whoever he runs into.
I love how he's so squarely built,
how he stays in shape even though his job is not one that requires much physical activity.
How his style is both relaxed and yet classic.
How he always has time to talk,
and how he will tell you if he doesn't have the answer,
but will try to help you find it.
How he's a preacher, a pastor, but he's just a regular guy too,
he's not hight-and-mighty,
he's humble,
and willing to learn.
I love his teal-blue eyes
and dark-gold hair like Austin's.
I love Mrs. Shannen's nod -
the way she bobs her head and smiles Bro. Dennis' grin when she agrees with something.
The way she says, "Goot!" instead of "Good!",
that would sound annoying on anyone else,
but is part of her.
How her short hair flips out just a little.
Her gentle spirit
and meekness.
How she's so motherly,
so kind,
how she keeps on going,
even when the going is tough.
I love the way Russell dances (almost litterally) through life,
using his flambuoyant tendency toward the dramatic (singing, acting, dancing, etc.)
to entertain us,
to put smiles on our faces,
to lighten the heaviness that life sometimes is.
How his striking blue eyes contrast with his brown hair,
and how they squint and disappear when he grins.
How he'll pull out the 'grandma voice' when he's talking to little kids,
or the Scottish accent when he's ordering at a restaurant.
How he gets so serious and technical when there's a job to do,
rushing around on his long legs like a grasshopper.
How his eyebrows raise and wiggle,
and his eyes sparkle when he's goofing off.
I love how he's joyful even when his life's hard.
I love Trent's sense of humor when you get to know him a little bit,
but how he's just an ordinary teenager otherwise.
How 'dressing up' is, for him, a white button-up shirt, unfaded jeans, and boots.
How thick and rich his blond hair is,
how quiet and observant his eyes are,
how slender he is,
and how tall he's getting to be.
I love Aron's strength, both of body
and of character.
How protective he is of his wife and child,
how he serves them
and guides them.
I love how he is such a hard worker
and such a loyal friend.
How his jet-black hair and dark eyes and deep tan skin are so striking, and
how his laugh is so powerful, but
so boyish and freeing.
I love Henley's sensitivity to people,
her down-to-earth outlook
and kind heart;
the way she draws others in, making them at home.
I love how her long, straight, dark-blond hair has natural bright-gold highlights in it.
Her big blue eyes.
How patient she is,
always trying to see the positive in a situation,
how she respects her husband Aron,
and protects her little son.
How she has chosen to stay at home and serve her family,
instead of trying to make 'her' place out in the world.
I love how Joy is so tall,
how I hug her and it's more comfortable for her arms to be around my shoulders while my arms are around her waist, even though I'm ten years older.
I love how her eyes are the color of dark copper
and her hair is just a little darker than that.
I love how she calls herself my long-lost sister because we're so much alike that it's uncanny sometimes.
How she lights up when she's telling me about something that stood out to her in her Bible reading.
I love Justice's confidence,
how his voice has such a low pitch that, if you're not used to it, it almost makes you want to plug your ears to lessen how much it makes the room vibrate.
I love how his Irish blood comes out
in his stocky form,
curly brown hair,
bright blue eyes,
pale freckled skin,
and passionate nature.
I love how tender-hearted he is toward things of God;
how he has a heart for young people,
and how he has such a gift as a teacher.
I love Noel's curly black hair.
I love how she looks up to Justice, her husband.
How she defaults to him in any decision.
I love her child-like simplicity,
and how she tries to make the best of a hard situation.
What a grateful spirit she has
and how matter-of-fact she is.
How she's willing to serve wherever she can,
and how quick she is to point out other's talents and strengths.
I love how she tucks her chin, cocks her head, raises her eyebrows, and looks at her listeners from the tops of her eyes when she's making a point.
I love how she leans her head back and giggles.
I love how Trissy's hair is so straight
and fine
and long
and golden in the sun.
I love that she doesn't wear make up,
but is still attractive.
I love how she makes that self-deprecating smirk
and shrugs when she does or says something that everyone except she thought was funny and they all laugh.
{Aug. 10th Note: I have edited and added to how it was originally; below is the edited version. And I will most likely continue to add to it in coming weeks - I know many beautiful people :) ! There is not necessarily a particular order, though I have tended to edit related people to be in groups. The paragraphs mostly just flowed from pictures of people I love that popped randomly into my mind's vision.}
"My Beautiful People"
I love how people are so beautiful.
I love Mrs. S's hair, flecked with a bare sprinkle of silver,
how it falls in a dark wing above her forehead.
I love how her words are always soft
but always significant.
How she tilts her head
and makes everyone who talks to her feel like
they are special.
I love how Austin's grin is worth a million dollars.
I love the little wrinkles at the corners of his eyes
and how he is one of the greatest examples of humility and undemonstrative compassion I have ever known.
How his eyes are sometimes contented green,
sometimes quiet caramel,
and sometimes snapping black.
How his thick hair is that dark gold color,
and how he absently plays with that lock in the front when he's thinking.
I love how Ava's brilliant deep blue eyes fill up half her face
and how her huge smile fills the other half.
How she braids a strand of her hair away from her face sometimes,
and how she ducks her head and does this awkward sort of dance up to you
when she wants a hug.
I love how perfect she is for Austin.
I love how understanding she is,
how easy to talk to,
and how she's the one I think of when I have a desire to do something really wacky or childish,
knowing she'd understand perfectly
and would probably do it with me.
I love how Bro. Dennis's laugh fills him up
and fills the room up
and fills the listeners up
so that they want to laugh too, even if they don't know what's going on.
I love his caramel eyes
and brown hair
and sideburns.
How he's so square and stocky.
I love how he cocks his head and glares at you with his eyebrows way up, when you've done something without thinking and he wants to call your attention to it, but in a teasing way.
I love how he thinks about everything, analyzing it until it's broken down and he can look at all it's parts
and then show them to someone else in a way that they can understand it.
I love how gentle-faced
and dignified Mrs. Carrie is.
How slim and tall she stands,
and how she can get from one spot to another quickly, but never appears to be hurrying.
How quietly elegant her style is.
I love her silky hair
and how it falls to her shoulders with gentle waves towards the bottom.
I love her dark-honey eyes
that observe keenly,
and speak volumes if you have the eyes to listen.
I love Oliver's passion,
his dreamer's heart.
How his grin could light up a dungeon
and how his black eyes squint when he is really smiling,
or get big when he's passionately trying to describe or get a point across.
How his black hair and tan skin make him look great in white.
I love Toby's humility,
his resilience,
and his quiet passion for the spread of the Gospel.
I love his blue eyes and dark blond hair,
his kind smile,
and the way he coins phrases or starts using already-invented ones in such a way that use of the expression seems to spread and become part of the every-day vocabulary of most who know him.
I love how devoted he is to Lindy,
how respectful he is of her,
and yet how they goof off and tease each other almost like siblings might.
I love Lindy's powder-blue eyes.
How healthy and gentle her face is.
I love how she's so powerful,
but so lady-like.
How she bends over backwards to make
the others in the situation feel comfortable.
I love Mrs. Renae's deep brown hair
and how it has red-ish highlights.
I love how when she's laughing,
her left eye squints just a little bit.
I love how she rejoices in life like a child might.
How she worships the Lord like no one else is watching,
or like the whole world is.
How she dresses so classy,
and modestly too.
I love how deep 'my brown-eyed boy's eyes are,
and how deep his voice is,
though he is so young.
I love how his hair is such a rich dark brown -
almost black.
How great he looks in dark teal.
How polite he is.
How, when he laughs, it's a squeak deep in his throat;
how it contrasts with his speaking voice.
I love how he gets in 'beast mode' when there's a job to do -
how his focus narrows so that he gives his best to do his part.
I love Piper's freckles,
her round-ish face,
her piercing eyes,
that are so wise.
I love her meek and quiet spirit,
her calm sensibility.
How she stands at an angle and looks at the ground ahead of you and sort of leans toward you with her near arm out just a little, when she wants a hug.
How when she wears her glasses,
she looks even cuter. And sortof scholarly.
How she is the perfect size to hug and prop my cheek on the top of her head,
but how she will probably end up taller than I am.
I love how Abigail is so brown and healthy-looking
from all the time she spends outside.
How she sometimes sweeps a little of her hair away from her face on either side in a sortof vintage style.
How she closes her eyes and then sweeps her head to face you and opens them dramatically when she's making a point.
I love how she blinks and sniffs at the same time,
how it wrinkles her nose and shows off her freckles
and her lovely eyelashes at the same time,
but how she doesn't even know she's doing it.
I love how she's always got a pun or corny joke to share.
How her giggle sounds light and free and pure.
I love Law's eyes; that amazing summer-forest color - a patch of sky, a few leaves, a glimpse of loamy earth.
How his light brown hair sweeps across his forehead like his mom's does.
I love how tall and broad-shouldered he's getting to be,
how brown he is from working outside in the sun all the time.
I love how when he smiles it lights up his whole being,
how his eyes get big and round and excited.
How fun-loving he is,
and yet, how responsible
and serious he can be when it counts.
I love how the joy of the Lord seems to fill him up
and pour out of him to bless and admonish others in his life.
I love Archer's sharp brown eyes, one of only two pairs I've ever known that could truly be said to 'twinkle',
how he smirks when he finds something amusing,
making that slight dimple come out in his cheek.
How he rocks back on the chair legs when he laughs, his chuckles starting as a squeak in his throat, his eyes squinting, and his nose wrinkling up.
How carefully and yet unknowingly he lifts a wing of dark almost-black hair away from his eyes with his fingertips, or rakes his hand through the top and pats it down.
His biting sarcasm that he then softens with a smirk and a twinkle as he cuts his eyes slyly at the victim.
His heart for service,
and how he doesn't back down from his decision unless presented with what he considers intelligent, compelling reasons.
I love how Julia's so pert, almost sassy,
in the way she teases her friends;
how her rude comments (that probably no one else could get away with) are her way of showing her friendship,
and how she hurries to assure you she was joking, even though you already knew she was.
How frank and honest you can count on her to be.
I love how naturally scrunchy/curly her blond hair is.
I love how she's the queen of crazy faces,
how she can make this bug-eyed stare and hold it long after you've given up staring back and are doubled over laughing.
I love those brilliant blue eyes of hers,
how she uses them with her fine blond eyebrows and
how she tilts and moves her head to be so expressive.
I love how she and Autumn (not being related at all) can be such close friends that they're like sisters.
I love Autumn's naturally scrunchy light brown hair,
her almond-shaped dark brown eyes,
how her smile shows how straight and white and perfect her teeth are,
and makes her dimples come out.
I love how she's not very tall,
but is so athletic
and sturdy.
How she doesn't brag,
but her talents just randomly come out when they're needed
and everyone thinks, "Wow."
I love Camille's strength,
not only physically,
but inside too.
How tall she is.
How thick and rich her brown hair is
and how it can get so long so fast.
I love how bright her green eyes are
and how clear and bright her complexion is
when she doesn't wear make up
and her hair is up out of her face.
How she seems so brusque
and almost tough,
but is really such a softie.
I love Bro. Mike's gray-ish hair
and short goatee
and slightly pointed ears
that earned him the nick-name, The Garden Gnome.
I love his kind blue eyes,
his short stocky build,
and how he believes in hard work
and in doing your best.
His wise,
calm,
loving,
understanding spirit.
I love Landon's good-natured spirit.
How he is the image of country-boy charm,
with his work boots, faded jeans, worn t-shirt (or button-up with the sleeves rolled up), and white-and-blue ball cap.
How that white-and-blue cap is almost as much a part of him as his name is!
How round his brown eyes are
and how high his eyebrows get when he's telling about one of the adventures that seem to constantly seek him out.
The air of hospitality,
kindness,
gladness,
and friendliness
that is part of his character.
I love how courageous Bro. Earl is,
how he can narrow his vision so that he can focus on the job at hand, and shut out the rest of life's difficulties for the time being.
I love how he always has a complement,
a joke,
or a pleasant remark
for whoever he runs into.
I love how he's so squarely built,
how he stays in shape even though his job is not one that requires much physical activity.
How his style is both relaxed and yet classic.
How he always has time to talk,
and how he will tell you if he doesn't have the answer,
but will try to help you find it.
How he's a preacher, a pastor, but he's just a regular guy too,
he's not hight-and-mighty,
he's humble,
and willing to learn.
I love his teal-blue eyes
and dark-gold hair like Austin's.
I love Mrs. Shannen's nod -
the way she bobs her head and smiles Bro. Dennis' grin when she agrees with something.
The way she says, "Goot!" instead of "Good!",
that would sound annoying on anyone else,
but is part of her.
How her short hair flips out just a little.
Her gentle spirit
and meekness.
How she's so motherly,
so kind,
how she keeps on going,
even when the going is tough.
I love the way Russell dances (almost litterally) through life,
using his flambuoyant tendency toward the dramatic (singing, acting, dancing, etc.)
to entertain us,
to put smiles on our faces,
to lighten the heaviness that life sometimes is.
How his striking blue eyes contrast with his brown hair,
and how they squint and disappear when he grins.
How he'll pull out the 'grandma voice' when he's talking to little kids,
or the Scottish accent when he's ordering at a restaurant.
How he gets so serious and technical when there's a job to do,
rushing around on his long legs like a grasshopper.
How his eyebrows raise and wiggle,
and his eyes sparkle when he's goofing off.
I love how he's joyful even when his life's hard.
I love Trent's sense of humor when you get to know him a little bit,
but how he's just an ordinary teenager otherwise.
How 'dressing up' is, for him, a white button-up shirt, unfaded jeans, and boots.
How thick and rich his blond hair is,
how quiet and observant his eyes are,
how slender he is,
and how tall he's getting to be.
I love Aron's strength, both of body
and of character.
How protective he is of his wife and child,
how he serves them
and guides them.
I love how he is such a hard worker
and such a loyal friend.
How his jet-black hair and dark eyes and deep tan skin are so striking, and
how his laugh is so powerful, but
so boyish and freeing.
I love Henley's sensitivity to people,
her down-to-earth outlook
and kind heart;
the way she draws others in, making them at home.
I love how her long, straight, dark-blond hair has natural bright-gold highlights in it.
Her big blue eyes.
How patient she is,
always trying to see the positive in a situation,
how she respects her husband Aron,
and protects her little son.
How she has chosen to stay at home and serve her family,
instead of trying to make 'her' place out in the world.
I love how Joy is so tall,
how I hug her and it's more comfortable for her arms to be around my shoulders while my arms are around her waist, even though I'm ten years older.
I love how her eyes are the color of dark copper
and her hair is just a little darker than that.
I love how she calls herself my long-lost sister because we're so much alike that it's uncanny sometimes.
How she lights up when she's telling me about something that stood out to her in her Bible reading.
I love Justice's confidence,
how his voice has such a low pitch that, if you're not used to it, it almost makes you want to plug your ears to lessen how much it makes the room vibrate.
I love how his Irish blood comes out
in his stocky form,
curly brown hair,
bright blue eyes,
pale freckled skin,
and passionate nature.
I love how tender-hearted he is toward things of God;
how he has a heart for young people,
and how he has such a gift as a teacher.
I love Noel's curly black hair.
I love how she looks up to Justice, her husband.
How she defaults to him in any decision.
I love her child-like simplicity,
and how she tries to make the best of a hard situation.
What a grateful spirit she has
and how matter-of-fact she is.
How she's willing to serve wherever she can,
and how quick she is to point out other's talents and strengths.
I love how she tucks her chin, cocks her head, raises her eyebrows, and looks at her listeners from the tops of her eyes when she's making a point.
I love how she leans her head back and giggles.
I love how Trissy's hair is so straight
and fine
and long
and golden in the sun.
I love that she doesn't wear make up,
but is still attractive.
I love how she makes that self-deprecating smirk
and shrugs when she does or says something that everyone except she thought was funny and they all laugh.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
An 'Awesome' Sunday
I am not at all in the habit of using the word "awesome" to describe things, but in light of the great blessing the Lord gave me in this Sunday, I think it's almost worthy of the word.
The morning dawned beautifully. I went up to The Grandparents' to fix their breakfast (we've been taking turns doing that - it makes it easier for them on a busy morning trying to get ready for church), and the air had a little chill in it, but the sunshine was warm and sweet.
I finished helping them, and came back to the house, in high spirits and ready for my own breakfast, looking forward to a morning at the Lord's house. Later as I was getting ready, I got a message from Noel, reminding everyone that this morning was the start of Justice's New Testament Survey Sunday school class, and I felt an even greater expectation!
Justice was making the class available to whoever wanted to take it in the church, not just the college class, so Dad and Mom had signed up to take it as well. Because it was going to be more people than usual, we were going to meet in the larger classroom downstairs under the youth room, in the gym across the street from the church building. We were running a little late, so we parked in the small lot behind the church (closer to the gym), and as Dad and Mom gathered their Bibles and things, they told Trissy and me to go ahead and go to the classroom, so Justice would know we were there and on our way.
Trissy and I started across the little lot behind the church building, toward the street that separates the church from the gym and it's parking lot and the big, empty, grassy lot that also serves as spare parking space. The morning sun was beautiful, the air was crisp and clear, and we strolled along breathing deeply of the Spring sweetness.
Trissy suddenly called my attention to a tall young figure crossing the grassy lot quite a ways ahead of us. It was Law, heading to his Sunday School class in the youth room.
"There goes Mr. S." she commented, smiling.
I looked up. "Mmhmm" I hadn't noticed him yet, but his bright red polo made him hard to miss.
He strode along comfortably with a firm, unhurried step, his shoulders straight and his head up, moving gently, as if he were enjoying the beautiful morning. Less than a year ago, he would have ambled indifferently along, his shoulders slumped a little forward, and his gaze for the most part turned downward.
Taking note of the difference, my heart felt fit to burst with thankfulness for the Lord's work in that young heart.
Justice was the only one in the classroom when we walked in, but his mom was right behind us, then Noel, Autumn, and Aron's cousin's husband. Toby hobbled in, his leg in a brace after surgery for a torn ACL, and another older couple filled out the class. Justice said Austin was going to be leading the music service this morning, and he was getting the last details taken care of, so he and Ava might be late. We went ahead and started, but they came in pretty soon.
It was a good class, and I think we're going to learn alot. And such a wonderful, comfortable, combination of old times and new times! The thought kept running through my mind, "This is so right. This feels so right."
Later in the choir room, as the choir members trickled in, Lindsay (who has been singing with us off-and-on for several months) came up to me, said good morning, and shyly gave me what I call a 'greeting hug' (which I kindof explain in this post :) ). As she stepped back, she said, in her soft feminine way, 'You look pretty today. Well,' she paused and tilted her head as if correcting herself, 'you always look pretty. I love your hair.'
I was caught off guard.
'Aw,' I kindof ducked my head, and smiled in confusion, 'Thank you!'
I didn't know what to say! I was completely taken by surprise. Seldom am I told that I am pretty - which is convenient, because I know it's not true, and it's nice to not have to try to come up with a polite response.
But coming from a modern teen-age girl, it meant so much - to think that maybe I had been able to influence her enough as a friend for her to want to reach back out to me in her own way.
As the choir walked out in our single-file line, I saw that, not only was Austin leading, but the instruments were switched up too.
Usually, Bro. Blake leads, Lydia plays acoustic guitar, Austin is on electric, and Bro. Dennis on bass, with Simon on drums, and a young woman of the church (whose husband is a veterinarian - just a random FYI fact :) ) plays the piano. This morning though, Austin was playing acoustic guitar (in addition to leading the singing), Bro. Dennis was on electric, and Law on bass! I don't think Law has been on bass for a Sunday morning service since Bro. Blake was put in charge of the music. Simon was still on drums and the lady on the piano, but Bro. Blake was incorporating some extra percussion (tambourine and cajon) that isn't usually used.
Walking out and seeing this setup rejoiced my heart.
And the service just kept getting better as we began to sing.
My heart was so glad. I kept getting that thought again, "This is right. This is so right."
I know that, as a child of God, my joy is not dependent on my circumstances. The Lord never changes; He remains the amazing, caring, dependable, trustworthy Friend that He was when I first met Him. He will never go somewhere where I cannot be around Him anymore. He will never disappoint me. He will never make a mistake or let me down. He is always available to put His arms around me and let me lean into Him. He is the true source of anything good or enjoyable that is part of my life. HE is.
And yet I would be denying a fact of life if I tried to pretend that circumstances do not influence the way a Christian feels. Christians are not immune to sorrow or happiness. They are just as prone to emotion, doubt, struggle, and soaring victory as a person is who does not know God. The difference is that we have the Lord as our Friend and help. He guides us and helps us through difficult, as well as victorious times. And He uses both the really hard and the really great times to mold us into who He wants us to be.
Today was one of those really great days.
I guess pretty much the only thing that happened to mar the beauty of the day, was choir practice.
There were alot of people out, I guess because of Spring Break, and it was a really small crowd. There were only two in the 'men' (tenor and bass) section, and those were the two fifth-grade boys who have been singing with us for the past couple of months. I sing tenor, so when I went up into the choir, I sat by them.
I'm thankful to say that Bro. Dennis still comes and sings in the choir, even though he technically doesn't even have to be there anymore. There's usually at least one other man that is there to sing tenor, but he wasn't there this afternoon. So when Bro. Dennis came in a little late, I moved over a space, so he could sit next to the boys.
I pretty much couldn't concentrate the rest of practice. We were working on songs from a book Bro. Dennis had used with us last year. And here he was, in the choir instead of leading it. Sitting next to me, and yet a stranger. The man who taught me as much (probably more) about practical Christian living, about how to knowledgeably yet respectfully defend the Faith, about choosing joy, about reliance on and faith in the sovereignty of God, than any other preacher or teacher I've ever had. One of my heroes of the Faith. Just, gone.
I didn't feel that bitter piercing pain, only a dull sad ache. How I wished that I dared turn to him and say simply, "I miss you."
Of course I didn't, but I couldn't help but wonder, what would happen if I did? Inside, my heart spoke quietly on; quiet, but so deeply hurting. "I miss you. Why did you leave? Where did you go? Will you ever come back? I know you're still in there somewhere. Aren't you? Do you even exist anymore? Deep down, are you still in there, or is this stranger here to stay? To replace you? Please come back. I miss you. And I'm not the only one. Do you not see the pain in the eyes of others here who love you?"
My mind wandered to memories of happy choir practices only a couple of years ago. When Bro. Jack and Mrs. Janet, Bro. Mike and Camille, Mrs Carrie, Mrs. Renae, and Bro. Blake were still in it. When laughter and music were strong because they went together. When Bro. Dennis's merry heart and musical knowledge refused to be beaten by our amateurity, and he'd whip us into shape with his wit and talent.
Yeah, choir practice was really hard.
But aside from that, the rest of the evening was pleasant. And after church, our college fellowship supper was at Austin and Ava's. They made spaghetti together - dear Ava's biggest source of remorse is the fact that she can't cook. But she's serious about learning, and her experiments so far have turned out quite well. I hate to be at someone's house without helping out somehow, so she put me and Aron's little cousin to making garlic bread. Aron, Henley, and Timothy were there, Aron's cousin and her husband, toddler son, and little sister, Justice and Noel and Justice's younger brother Tanner, Austin and Ava of course, and me. Trissy was tired out from a long week of school, so she didn't go.
It seemed like such a small group, but it was pleasant and relaxing.
After supper, the guys were outside trying to fix Tanner's truck that wouldn't start, Aron and Henley and Aron's cousin's family had already left to get the kids to bed, and Noel was watching the progress on the truck. I made Ava let me help her clean the kitchen, and we had a good talk about plans for the future, how God uses events in our lives, and how He's been working recently, as I washed and she dried and put away the dishes.
We were nearly done. The guys had gotten Tanner's truck running, and they came in to see how we were getting along before Justice, Noel, and Tanner said goodnight and left.
I finished drying the salad tongs that had been used to serve the spaghetti noodles, and asked where they were supposed to be put. Austin opened a drawer.
"Oh. These are salad tongs." I said as I put them in, pretending to just then figure out their use. "Salad tongs." I emphasized to Austin, waving my hands under his nose as he bent to shut the drawer.
'Yeah, that's why we're using them for spaghetti,' he returned, completely unruffled. Austin does not like vegetables.
Ava spoke up from where she was putting up the plates. 'Austin doesn't really eat salads.' She made a disapproving face.
'Don't worry,' I reassured her, as Austin took the towel from me to dry his hands and I turned back to the sink for another dish. 'We'll convert him yet.'
Austin finished drying his hands. 'Good luck,' he replied. He draped the towel over my shoulder, patted it sympathetically, and left the kitchen. Ava and I looked at each other and chuckled.
I enjoyed the drive back to the house, tired but happily reliving the memories of the wonderful day. I turned off the highway onto our dirt road and drove slowly up the little hill, savoring the sight of the bright summer stars above the cool smoothness of the pasture grass on my left. I turned into our drive on the right and parked, got out, and walked back to the end of the drive - which faces that pasture - and stood at the end, staring up at the stars. The air had that delicate yet hardy touch of cool-in-warmth that is so typical of Spring evenings. It wasn't cool, it wasn't warm, it was fresh and it was perfect. I saw the tiny blinking lights of two airplanes and the darting path of a shooting star. My heart was so full.
I stood there quite a while, wishing I could look for hours, and resolving that I was going to spend the night sleeping under the stars some day.
When I turned to go back to the house though, the picture that met my sight touched my heart just as strongly as the one I was turning from, though in a completely different way.
Our house (it's actually a double-wide trailer that Dad's improved and built on to), sits back a little from the dirt road. The front outside light was on, and the big oak in our front yard was a radiating silhouette, lit up magically by the light behind it. The windows of the house glowed a cozy golden. My steps made a satisfying crunching sound on the gravelly drive, and my heart was leaning considerably to the lighter side as I went in.
The morning dawned beautifully. I went up to The Grandparents' to fix their breakfast (we've been taking turns doing that - it makes it easier for them on a busy morning trying to get ready for church), and the air had a little chill in it, but the sunshine was warm and sweet.
I finished helping them, and came back to the house, in high spirits and ready for my own breakfast, looking forward to a morning at the Lord's house. Later as I was getting ready, I got a message from Noel, reminding everyone that this morning was the start of Justice's New Testament Survey Sunday school class, and I felt an even greater expectation!
Justice was making the class available to whoever wanted to take it in the church, not just the college class, so Dad and Mom had signed up to take it as well. Because it was going to be more people than usual, we were going to meet in the larger classroom downstairs under the youth room, in the gym across the street from the church building. We were running a little late, so we parked in the small lot behind the church (closer to the gym), and as Dad and Mom gathered their Bibles and things, they told Trissy and me to go ahead and go to the classroom, so Justice would know we were there and on our way.
Trissy and I started across the little lot behind the church building, toward the street that separates the church from the gym and it's parking lot and the big, empty, grassy lot that also serves as spare parking space. The morning sun was beautiful, the air was crisp and clear, and we strolled along breathing deeply of the Spring sweetness.
Trissy suddenly called my attention to a tall young figure crossing the grassy lot quite a ways ahead of us. It was Law, heading to his Sunday School class in the youth room.
"There goes Mr. S." she commented, smiling.
I looked up. "Mmhmm" I hadn't noticed him yet, but his bright red polo made him hard to miss.
He strode along comfortably with a firm, unhurried step, his shoulders straight and his head up, moving gently, as if he were enjoying the beautiful morning. Less than a year ago, he would have ambled indifferently along, his shoulders slumped a little forward, and his gaze for the most part turned downward.
Taking note of the difference, my heart felt fit to burst with thankfulness for the Lord's work in that young heart.
Justice was the only one in the classroom when we walked in, but his mom was right behind us, then Noel, Autumn, and Aron's cousin's husband. Toby hobbled in, his leg in a brace after surgery for a torn ACL, and another older couple filled out the class. Justice said Austin was going to be leading the music service this morning, and he was getting the last details taken care of, so he and Ava might be late. We went ahead and started, but they came in pretty soon.
It was a good class, and I think we're going to learn alot. And such a wonderful, comfortable, combination of old times and new times! The thought kept running through my mind, "This is so right. This feels so right."
Later in the choir room, as the choir members trickled in, Lindsay (who has been singing with us off-and-on for several months) came up to me, said good morning, and shyly gave me what I call a 'greeting hug' (which I kindof explain in this post :) ). As she stepped back, she said, in her soft feminine way, 'You look pretty today. Well,' she paused and tilted her head as if correcting herself, 'you always look pretty. I love your hair.'
I was caught off guard.
'Aw,' I kindof ducked my head, and smiled in confusion, 'Thank you!'
I didn't know what to say! I was completely taken by surprise. Seldom am I told that I am pretty - which is convenient, because I know it's not true, and it's nice to not have to try to come up with a polite response.
But coming from a modern teen-age girl, it meant so much - to think that maybe I had been able to influence her enough as a friend for her to want to reach back out to me in her own way.
As the choir walked out in our single-file line, I saw that, not only was Austin leading, but the instruments were switched up too.
Usually, Bro. Blake leads, Lydia plays acoustic guitar, Austin is on electric, and Bro. Dennis on bass, with Simon on drums, and a young woman of the church (whose husband is a veterinarian - just a random FYI fact :) ) plays the piano. This morning though, Austin was playing acoustic guitar (in addition to leading the singing), Bro. Dennis was on electric, and Law on bass! I don't think Law has been on bass for a Sunday morning service since Bro. Blake was put in charge of the music. Simon was still on drums and the lady on the piano, but Bro. Blake was incorporating some extra percussion (tambourine and cajon) that isn't usually used.
Walking out and seeing this setup rejoiced my heart.
And the service just kept getting better as we began to sing.
My heart was so glad. I kept getting that thought again, "This is right. This is so right."
I know that, as a child of God, my joy is not dependent on my circumstances. The Lord never changes; He remains the amazing, caring, dependable, trustworthy Friend that He was when I first met Him. He will never go somewhere where I cannot be around Him anymore. He will never disappoint me. He will never make a mistake or let me down. He is always available to put His arms around me and let me lean into Him. He is the true source of anything good or enjoyable that is part of my life. HE is.
And yet I would be denying a fact of life if I tried to pretend that circumstances do not influence the way a Christian feels. Christians are not immune to sorrow or happiness. They are just as prone to emotion, doubt, struggle, and soaring victory as a person is who does not know God. The difference is that we have the Lord as our Friend and help. He guides us and helps us through difficult, as well as victorious times. And He uses both the really hard and the really great times to mold us into who He wants us to be.
Today was one of those really great days.
I guess pretty much the only thing that happened to mar the beauty of the day, was choir practice.
There were alot of people out, I guess because of Spring Break, and it was a really small crowd. There were only two in the 'men' (tenor and bass) section, and those were the two fifth-grade boys who have been singing with us for the past couple of months. I sing tenor, so when I went up into the choir, I sat by them.
I'm thankful to say that Bro. Dennis still comes and sings in the choir, even though he technically doesn't even have to be there anymore. There's usually at least one other man that is there to sing tenor, but he wasn't there this afternoon. So when Bro. Dennis came in a little late, I moved over a space, so he could sit next to the boys.
I pretty much couldn't concentrate the rest of practice. We were working on songs from a book Bro. Dennis had used with us last year. And here he was, in the choir instead of leading it. Sitting next to me, and yet a stranger. The man who taught me as much (probably more) about practical Christian living, about how to knowledgeably yet respectfully defend the Faith, about choosing joy, about reliance on and faith in the sovereignty of God, than any other preacher or teacher I've ever had. One of my heroes of the Faith. Just, gone.
I didn't feel that bitter piercing pain, only a dull sad ache. How I wished that I dared turn to him and say simply, "I miss you."
Of course I didn't, but I couldn't help but wonder, what would happen if I did? Inside, my heart spoke quietly on; quiet, but so deeply hurting. "I miss you. Why did you leave? Where did you go? Will you ever come back? I know you're still in there somewhere. Aren't you? Do you even exist anymore? Deep down, are you still in there, or is this stranger here to stay? To replace you? Please come back. I miss you. And I'm not the only one. Do you not see the pain in the eyes of others here who love you?"
My mind wandered to memories of happy choir practices only a couple of years ago. When Bro. Jack and Mrs. Janet, Bro. Mike and Camille, Mrs Carrie, Mrs. Renae, and Bro. Blake were still in it. When laughter and music were strong because they went together. When Bro. Dennis's merry heart and musical knowledge refused to be beaten by our amateurity, and he'd whip us into shape with his wit and talent.
Yeah, choir practice was really hard.
But aside from that, the rest of the evening was pleasant. And after church, our college fellowship supper was at Austin and Ava's. They made spaghetti together - dear Ava's biggest source of remorse is the fact that she can't cook. But she's serious about learning, and her experiments so far have turned out quite well. I hate to be at someone's house without helping out somehow, so she put me and Aron's little cousin to making garlic bread. Aron, Henley, and Timothy were there, Aron's cousin and her husband, toddler son, and little sister, Justice and Noel and Justice's younger brother Tanner, Austin and Ava of course, and me. Trissy was tired out from a long week of school, so she didn't go.
It seemed like such a small group, but it was pleasant and relaxing.
After supper, the guys were outside trying to fix Tanner's truck that wouldn't start, Aron and Henley and Aron's cousin's family had already left to get the kids to bed, and Noel was watching the progress on the truck. I made Ava let me help her clean the kitchen, and we had a good talk about plans for the future, how God uses events in our lives, and how He's been working recently, as I washed and she dried and put away the dishes.
We were nearly done. The guys had gotten Tanner's truck running, and they came in to see how we were getting along before Justice, Noel, and Tanner said goodnight and left.
I finished drying the salad tongs that had been used to serve the spaghetti noodles, and asked where they were supposed to be put. Austin opened a drawer.
"Oh. These are salad tongs." I said as I put them in, pretending to just then figure out their use. "Salad tongs." I emphasized to Austin, waving my hands under his nose as he bent to shut the drawer.
'Yeah, that's why we're using them for spaghetti,' he returned, completely unruffled. Austin does not like vegetables.
Ava spoke up from where she was putting up the plates. 'Austin doesn't really eat salads.' She made a disapproving face.
'Don't worry,' I reassured her, as Austin took the towel from me to dry his hands and I turned back to the sink for another dish. 'We'll convert him yet.'
Austin finished drying his hands. 'Good luck,' he replied. He draped the towel over my shoulder, patted it sympathetically, and left the kitchen. Ava and I looked at each other and chuckled.
I enjoyed the drive back to the house, tired but happily reliving the memories of the wonderful day. I turned off the highway onto our dirt road and drove slowly up the little hill, savoring the sight of the bright summer stars above the cool smoothness of the pasture grass on my left. I turned into our drive on the right and parked, got out, and walked back to the end of the drive - which faces that pasture - and stood at the end, staring up at the stars. The air had that delicate yet hardy touch of cool-in-warmth that is so typical of Spring evenings. It wasn't cool, it wasn't warm, it was fresh and it was perfect. I saw the tiny blinking lights of two airplanes and the darting path of a shooting star. My heart was so full.
I stood there quite a while, wishing I could look for hours, and resolving that I was going to spend the night sleeping under the stars some day.
When I turned to go back to the house though, the picture that met my sight touched my heart just as strongly as the one I was turning from, though in a completely different way.
Our house (it's actually a double-wide trailer that Dad's improved and built on to), sits back a little from the dirt road. The front outside light was on, and the big oak in our front yard was a radiating silhouette, lit up magically by the light behind it. The windows of the house glowed a cozy golden. My steps made a satisfying crunching sound on the gravelly drive, and my heart was leaning considerably to the lighter side as I went in.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Communion
Tonight was I think the most meaningful, beautiful, moving celebration of the Lord's Supper I have ever been a part of.
This was the first time that I know of that Victory Rd. has had the Lord's Supper on a Wednesday night. Usually it's during the night service of the Sunday before Easter Sunday. But this seemed to work well. All Wednesday night classes were canceled, and we all met together in the auditorium.
As they arrived, people greeted each other quietly in the foyer and hallways, and the doors to the auditorium had signs taped to them requesting, "Enter reverently with prayer".
Trissy had gone early to do a Bible study with one of the young girls at the church, so she was already there. When I entered the auditorium after quietly greeting Nicole, Lydia, and a few others standing in the foyer, the lights were dim and those already inside sat silent or talking in whispers. I spotted Trissy and Ava sitting where our family usually sits on Sunday nights, talking quietly, and went to join them. It was almost time to start. Ava left to go sit with Austin and his family, and Dad and Mom came in and sat with Trissy and me. All the over-head lights were off - the only light was from the soft ones on the back wall, a couple up front, and a soft spotlight on the cross-and-dove centerpiece high on the wall above the choir chairs. Bro. Blake's mother was playing the organ; soft, gentle, solemn old hymns like "The Ninety and Nine". The whole room felt so beautiful, so, holy.
Bro. Blake stepped up to the podium and led the congregation in two hymns, "Hallelujah, Christ Arose", and "The Blood Will Never Lose It's Power", with only the organ for accompaniment and his rich baritone for direction. As the last chorus came to an end, Bro. Nick walked up to the platform with his Bible in his hands, and Bro. Blake handed him the microphone and went to sit with his family.
Bro. Nick read clearly and simply the account of the Last Supper from Matthew 26:17-29. When he reached verse 29, I noticed something I don't think I ever had before. Jesus says, "But I say unto you, I will not drink henceforth of this fruit of the vine, until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom."
Until I drink it new, with you. He's waiting for us. Christ, the son of God, is keeping Himself from enjoying the complete pleasures of His Father's kingdom, until we who are His adopted brothers and sisters are there to enjoy it too. Wow.
When Bro. Nick finished reading, Bro. Dennis sang "When He Was On The Cross, I Was On His Mind". So thankful to hear that voice again. So thankful for hope for the future.
Bro. Earl preached a simple sermon and read the apostle Paul's description from 1 Corinthians 11:23-26. He urged us that were followers of Christ to pray silently (while he prayed aloud), confessing any known sin in our lives, and asking the Lord to reveal others we may not have recognized so that we could repent of them also, enabling us to take the Lord's Supper with an examined heart and a clean conscience.
After he prayed an earnest, humble prayer, he asked Bro. Nick and five of the deacons to come to the front to help him pass out the bread and 'wine' (grape juice). The pewter dishes gleamed in the soft light. Bro. Earl handed a plate filled with the tiny pieces of flat bread to Bro. Nick on his right. Bro. Nick turned and gave it to Bro. Blake who in turn handed it to Julia's dad. Then another one for Bro. Blake. Bro. Earl handed one to Lindy's dad on his left, and the 'bucket brigade'-style plate-passing was repeated on that side. The four deacons with the four plates of bread then moved throughout the congregation, offering a piece to each member. When all had been served, the deacons walked back to the front and served each other, each man giving the plate to the next man up, and that one holding it for him to take a piece, then passing the plate on, ending with Bro. Earl serving Bro. Nick and Lindy's dad before taking a piece himself.
The process was repeated with the trays filled with the tiny glass cups of grape juice.
I was struck with the beauty of the ceremony and order of the process.
It has always been a solemn thing, the Lord's Supper. Something I don't believe I've ever taken lightly since I've been old enough to understand. Certainly not since I received Christ and have been part of one of these services myself.
But this time, I seemed to feel the wonderful, terrible, incredible significance in a way I never remember before. Hearing again the story of the first one, the "Last Supper" - the last Passover Jesus celebrated with His disciples. The overwhelming sadness that must have threatened to consume Him, as the time to leave got closer. The pure aloneness He must have felt, knowing all would desert Him. Knowing He must face this - the most terrible horrors any human on earth had or has ever come to - alone.
Alone.
Julia's dad, as one of the deacons, held out the plate of unleavened bread. I took one of the tiny pieces and held it as Bro. Earl prayed.
Jesus' words, 'This is My body, broken for you...' The disciples must not have understood that night. Did they? They must not have. It surely would have torn them from the inside out, if they'd known...
The crisp crunch of the plain, unleavened bread.
Julia's dad came back, this time with the tray of juice.
As I sat looking into the rich purple color of that tiny glass of grape juice, tears came to my eyes. 'This is My blood, shed for you... My blood... My blood...'
The life of the flesh is in the blood. He literally gave His life - for me. For whoever would choose to accept His gift.
Of course this was only juice here, but the significance was so terribly and wonderfully real to me that from sheer sympathy I didn't think I would be able to drink it. How He suffered! And we have no idea really.
Bro. Earl prayed again, but when he finished, I really hesitated to drink my juice. Then Jesus's command to the disciples spoke in my head, "Drink ye all of it;" and I did.
The sweet, spicy tang of the purple grape juice, then soft chinks all across the room as people slid their tiny empty glasses into the wooden holders on the backs of the pews in front of them.
Reminding us that Jesus and His disciples sang a hymn when they left their Passover meal, Bro. Earl nodded to Bro. Blake, whose his rich baritone solemnly but joyfully began the first verse of "Amazing Grace" as he began walking down the center isle and out of the auditorium. We all stood and followed, singing.
We left the building quietly, smiling at each other without speaking, and most continued on to their cars and left, taking the lovely solemn experience home to savor.
But a few stayed in little knots of people to chat a few minutes, standing around in the parking lot. Aron's cousin was behind Trissy and me as we exited the church building, and greeted us sweetly when we got out front. Her husband had been invited to preach at another church Sunday night, so we asked how that had gone. Lindy, and then Ava, came and joined our little group, and we stood talking amiably about random little things, like friends do. Toby had had surgery the day before, on one of his knees he'd injured playing basketball. Lindy said he was in quite a bit of pain and acting pretty grumpy unless someone was hugging him. We talked about hugs, how some people are 'huggy' people and some are not, about cats and kittens and Ava said Austin said she could have two of ours if Maggie has kittens, as long as they stayed outside. We talked about the weather, how it keeps getting hot, then chilly again. Ava was wearing leather flip-flops and her feet were cold. About that time, Austin came out of the church where he'd been helping lock up and, after a little more discussion on being cold and how to avoid it, they left to go get supper. As they walked off, I thought of something. I ran to catch up, and when I did, told Ava she should 'borrow' his corn bag when she was cold. She turned to Austin. 'Corn bag! You have a corn bag?!'
'Oh yeah! I do!' and Austin was telling her the story as they left.
I returned to our little group. Aron's cousin had left by this time, and the parking lot was practically empty. Trissy and I visited with Lindy a couple more minutes before saying good-bye with light and happy hearts.
The whole evening was such a wonderful, special experience.
This was the first time that I know of that Victory Rd. has had the Lord's Supper on a Wednesday night. Usually it's during the night service of the Sunday before Easter Sunday. But this seemed to work well. All Wednesday night classes were canceled, and we all met together in the auditorium.
As they arrived, people greeted each other quietly in the foyer and hallways, and the doors to the auditorium had signs taped to them requesting, "Enter reverently with prayer".
Trissy had gone early to do a Bible study with one of the young girls at the church, so she was already there. When I entered the auditorium after quietly greeting Nicole, Lydia, and a few others standing in the foyer, the lights were dim and those already inside sat silent or talking in whispers. I spotted Trissy and Ava sitting where our family usually sits on Sunday nights, talking quietly, and went to join them. It was almost time to start. Ava left to go sit with Austin and his family, and Dad and Mom came in and sat with Trissy and me. All the over-head lights were off - the only light was from the soft ones on the back wall, a couple up front, and a soft spotlight on the cross-and-dove centerpiece high on the wall above the choir chairs. Bro. Blake's mother was playing the organ; soft, gentle, solemn old hymns like "The Ninety and Nine". The whole room felt so beautiful, so, holy.
Bro. Blake stepped up to the podium and led the congregation in two hymns, "Hallelujah, Christ Arose", and "The Blood Will Never Lose It's Power", with only the organ for accompaniment and his rich baritone for direction. As the last chorus came to an end, Bro. Nick walked up to the platform with his Bible in his hands, and Bro. Blake handed him the microphone and went to sit with his family.
Bro. Nick read clearly and simply the account of the Last Supper from Matthew 26:17-29. When he reached verse 29, I noticed something I don't think I ever had before. Jesus says, "But I say unto you, I will not drink henceforth of this fruit of the vine, until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom."
Until I drink it new, with you. He's waiting for us. Christ, the son of God, is keeping Himself from enjoying the complete pleasures of His Father's kingdom, until we who are His adopted brothers and sisters are there to enjoy it too. Wow.
When Bro. Nick finished reading, Bro. Dennis sang "When He Was On The Cross, I Was On His Mind". So thankful to hear that voice again. So thankful for hope for the future.
Bro. Earl preached a simple sermon and read the apostle Paul's description from 1 Corinthians 11:23-26. He urged us that were followers of Christ to pray silently (while he prayed aloud), confessing any known sin in our lives, and asking the Lord to reveal others we may not have recognized so that we could repent of them also, enabling us to take the Lord's Supper with an examined heart and a clean conscience.
After he prayed an earnest, humble prayer, he asked Bro. Nick and five of the deacons to come to the front to help him pass out the bread and 'wine' (grape juice). The pewter dishes gleamed in the soft light. Bro. Earl handed a plate filled with the tiny pieces of flat bread to Bro. Nick on his right. Bro. Nick turned and gave it to Bro. Blake who in turn handed it to Julia's dad. Then another one for Bro. Blake. Bro. Earl handed one to Lindy's dad on his left, and the 'bucket brigade'-style plate-passing was repeated on that side. The four deacons with the four plates of bread then moved throughout the congregation, offering a piece to each member. When all had been served, the deacons walked back to the front and served each other, each man giving the plate to the next man up, and that one holding it for him to take a piece, then passing the plate on, ending with Bro. Earl serving Bro. Nick and Lindy's dad before taking a piece himself.
The process was repeated with the trays filled with the tiny glass cups of grape juice.
I was struck with the beauty of the ceremony and order of the process.
It has always been a solemn thing, the Lord's Supper. Something I don't believe I've ever taken lightly since I've been old enough to understand. Certainly not since I received Christ and have been part of one of these services myself.
But this time, I seemed to feel the wonderful, terrible, incredible significance in a way I never remember before. Hearing again the story of the first one, the "Last Supper" - the last Passover Jesus celebrated with His disciples. The overwhelming sadness that must have threatened to consume Him, as the time to leave got closer. The pure aloneness He must have felt, knowing all would desert Him. Knowing He must face this - the most terrible horrors any human on earth had or has ever come to - alone.
Alone.
Julia's dad, as one of the deacons, held out the plate of unleavened bread. I took one of the tiny pieces and held it as Bro. Earl prayed.
Jesus' words, 'This is My body, broken for you...' The disciples must not have understood that night. Did they? They must not have. It surely would have torn them from the inside out, if they'd known...
The crisp crunch of the plain, unleavened bread.
Julia's dad came back, this time with the tray of juice.
As I sat looking into the rich purple color of that tiny glass of grape juice, tears came to my eyes. 'This is My blood, shed for you... My blood... My blood...'
The life of the flesh is in the blood. He literally gave His life - for me. For whoever would choose to accept His gift.
Of course this was only juice here, but the significance was so terribly and wonderfully real to me that from sheer sympathy I didn't think I would be able to drink it. How He suffered! And we have no idea really.
Bro. Earl prayed again, but when he finished, I really hesitated to drink my juice. Then Jesus's command to the disciples spoke in my head, "Drink ye all of it;" and I did.
The sweet, spicy tang of the purple grape juice, then soft chinks all across the room as people slid their tiny empty glasses into the wooden holders on the backs of the pews in front of them.
Reminding us that Jesus and His disciples sang a hymn when they left their Passover meal, Bro. Earl nodded to Bro. Blake, whose his rich baritone solemnly but joyfully began the first verse of "Amazing Grace" as he began walking down the center isle and out of the auditorium. We all stood and followed, singing.
We left the building quietly, smiling at each other without speaking, and most continued on to their cars and left, taking the lovely solemn experience home to savor.
But a few stayed in little knots of people to chat a few minutes, standing around in the parking lot. Aron's cousin was behind Trissy and me as we exited the church building, and greeted us sweetly when we got out front. Her husband had been invited to preach at another church Sunday night, so we asked how that had gone. Lindy, and then Ava, came and joined our little group, and we stood talking amiably about random little things, like friends do. Toby had had surgery the day before, on one of his knees he'd injured playing basketball. Lindy said he was in quite a bit of pain and acting pretty grumpy unless someone was hugging him. We talked about hugs, how some people are 'huggy' people and some are not, about cats and kittens and Ava said Austin said she could have two of ours if Maggie has kittens, as long as they stayed outside. We talked about the weather, how it keeps getting hot, then chilly again. Ava was wearing leather flip-flops and her feet were cold. About that time, Austin came out of the church where he'd been helping lock up and, after a little more discussion on being cold and how to avoid it, they left to go get supper. As they walked off, I thought of something. I ran to catch up, and when I did, told Ava she should 'borrow' his corn bag when she was cold. She turned to Austin. 'Corn bag! You have a corn bag?!'
'Oh yeah! I do!' and Austin was telling her the story as they left.
I returned to our little group. Aron's cousin had left by this time, and the parking lot was practically empty. Trissy and I visited with Lindy a couple more minutes before saying good-bye with light and happy hearts.
The whole evening was such a wonderful, special experience.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Sunday, Mar. 3, 2013
I miss Archer. It's just that simple. I miss him alot.
Every Sunday I think it will be okay, that all the other wonderful people the Lord has blessed me with at Victory Rd. will fill my heart and thoughts.
I try not to talk about it much. I don't want people to misunderstand and get the wrong idea about how I feel about him. But my college friends at Victory Rd. are like family to me - almost literally. I've never had such a large set of close, wonderful friends my own age like I have had the past four years in this group. I've always wished I had more brothers and sisters, especially brothers, and especially brothers my age, or older. This group has done much to fill that void. I love all the guys. Each one holds a special unique place in my heart. But Archer and Austin are different somehow. I don't love them more than I love the others, but I love them differently. I feel toward them like I always imagined I'd feel towards my real brother if I had one. Of all the guys, these two are closest to being my 'brothers'.
So, I miss my brother. It's similar to how I felt 2009-2010 when Austin was gone on that almost-a-year-long mission trip to a country hostile to the Gospel. But, he was gone on a mission trip, which made it more bearable. And the plan was for him to be back in a few months. We e-mailed him back and forth all the time. And we Skyped him nearly every Sunday morning before church. When he came back, things fell back into the old comfortable familiarity, and life felt 'right' again.
Archer's just gone.
This morning was really good and really hard, both. Austin played acoustic guitar for the music service, and it was bringing back memories of the couple of months last year (or was it the year before?) when he was playing acoustic and Archer played bass. But no one could ever hear the bass, and Archer wouldn't turn it up or play louder, so finally Bro. Dennis recruited Law to play bass, put Archer on acoustic, and Austin on electric. Perfect. Bro. Dennis even said, 'Why haven't we done this before?'
But then those thoughts also brought back the pain of the fact that Bro. Dennis isn't the music minister anymore. And one of the songs we sang this morning was one Mrs. Renae always sang so wonderfully. I was in the choir of course, and it was so hard to get through that one.
And after church I heard someone discussing the progress of the fix-up work on the house Bro. Mike's family lived in, in preparation for Bro. Nick and Lydia and their family to move in.
Victory Rd.'s face is changing. Trent, one of the younger boys in the youth group, plays acoustic guitar with us on Wednesday nights in Archer's place. He's a nice kid, and a talented guitarist. Bro. Nick's family is settling in and becoming a part of us. In preparation for moving on to wherever the Lord will have him and Noel go, Justice stepped down as teacher of our college Sunday School class, it was put on hold until a new teacher could be found, and the members have scattered into other classes for the time being. In fact, our first Sunday to go to different classes was Bro. Mike's family's and Archer's last one at Victory Rd (Jan. 13).
So my little corner of the world at Victory Rd. now looks very different from what it did a year ago - that time being a sample of what I consider some of the best, most wonderful, and most 'growing' times of my life.
And gradually, I think I'm painfully getting used to it. But it almost seems like getting used to an amputation. I've never had an amputation, and I in no way pretend to understand that actual, physical type of pain. Yet, I almost feel like I've gone through something similar. I keep functioning, but parts of my life are gone. The scar is healing over, but there are blank empty spots where vital parts used to be, and sometimes I find myself cruelly and suddenly re-awakened to the fact that they aren't there anymore. Like that song Mrs. Renae used to sing. It was so unexpected, and I nearly lost control of my emotions, right there in the choir in front of everybody. Or seeing Austin playing his heart out and looking over, and there being only an empty space of carpet where Archer used to stand and do the same. Or asking Bro. Dennis a question and, in his answer, realizing I hadn't heard his voice speaking directly to me in literally months, when I used to be the constant brunt of his good-natured wit and jokes. Or hearing someone say something mildly critical of Bro. Mike's family, and thinking how unfair and inconsiderate it was.
And yet life moves on anyway, and there are good things happening too.
1) Aron's cousin's husband recently realized he feels like the Lord is leading him to preach, and Bro. Earl had him preach the morning sermon today. He spoke on leadership, the Old-Testament transition from Elijah to Elisha, and did very well for his first sermon!
2) Law is constantly surprising me with how he is growing in his Christian walk. It's almost as if, around the first of the year, a switch was flipped, and since then it's been slow, steady, constant progress. Watching his attitude and peace and growth has been the single greatest encouragement to me during these recent hard times of change. Oh how I praise the Lord! I think I understand a little of how the apostle John felt when he wrote, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." (3 John 1:4) Oh how thankful! Oh how thankful I am!!
3) There are four babies being added to the church in the fall, three of them coming to families among our college group. Aron and Henley, Aron's cousin and her husband, and Justice and Noel. Praise the Lord!
4) My JV kids on Wednesday nights are such a blessing. Some are just silly and don't seem to care really. Yet I'm glad they are at church instead of off getting into mischief. Many of them though, truly seem to desire to learn and grow more. As time has come along, my thought of, "What am I doing here?!" at the first of the school year when the class started, has changed to, "These kids have so much potential - Lord, help me help them!" The questions they ask, the things they remember, their searching longing, and the discussions we have during small-group time, and Ava and Ashlyn's support as my 'assistant group leaders' have been such blessings.
5) I'm enjoying my Wednesday-afternoon weekly discipleship sessions with Joy so much. She is such a sweet girl with so much potential. We've only had three so far (we missed one week since we started), but I have great hopes for the future. How I pray that the Lord would use these times to grow us both!
6) Tuesday night music practices are again one of the highlights of my week. No, Archer is not there anymore, but the others still are, and the young man who has taken his place is willing, talented, good-natured, and brings his own unique 'flavor' to the group. I try not to think of him as 'Archer's replacement' (just as I try not to think of Bro. Nick's family as 'Bro. Mike's family's replacement'), but as himself. When I do that, I really enjoy the new dynamics. The way some of the other members of the group have pulled together, stepped up, taken up the slack, and bravely kept on and not given up has been such a blessing and encouragement. Things threatened to fall apart there for a couple of weeks - I mean, Archer was our leader! - but various members have shifted responsibilities so they could take a little of his, we've 'kept our chin up', so to speak, and I think we're settling in to a 'new normal'.
7) And all the dear people who have not left. My merciful heavenly Friend has seen fit to leave to me so many of my precious earthly friends. Justice and Noel are still here, for the time being - they feel the Lord may soon be directing them to a different place of service. Austin and Ava are still here, for the time being - Austin is seeking a full-time music ministry position. Toby and Lindy are still here, for the time being - after their wedding this summer, they will probably end up as missionaries in a Latin country; a mutual love for missions and Spanish-speaking people are probably their biggest passions. Aron and Henley and little Timothy are still here. Aron's cousin and her family. Autumn, Julia and her parents, Law, Abigail, Piper, and Bro. and Mrs. S., Nicole and her husband and parents and little brother, Bro. Earl and Mrs. Shannen, my 'brown-eyed boy', Simon, Joy, and their parents, Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie and little Maxwell, and so many others.
"There will always be someone..."
~
Sunday night edit: So, at our Sunday night college supper after church, Justice told us that he and Noel are going to be sticking around for a while. The Sunday School class is going to start up again, and he's going to teach it. He (and Noel said the same thing later) said that it just seems like the Lord keeps closing doors that they thought they might be supposed to go through, and so they'll just stay on here until they feel they have a clear calling to go somewhere else. They're planning to buy a house, and he's planning on finishing up school.
So, we get to keep them a little longer.
Wow. Oh how thankful I am! My Lord is so merciful!
After everyone else had left (the supper was held in the church's fellowship hall this week), it was just Aron and Henley, Toby and Lindy, and Trissy and me left, and we had a good conversation standing, 'on our way out the door', for about half an hour. We talked about the difficulties of trying to sell hand-made crafts in this area, mission trip preparations, concern over Randy, who seems to be going through a strange rough spell, missing Bro. Dennis teaching our college Sunday School class, gladness that Justice is planning to start it back up again, missing Bro. Mike, etc.
It had been Trissy's and my turn to cook, and as we were all getting ready to leave, Aron told Trissy he would take our big tote basket full of food and dishes out to my car for us. I already had it, but must have missed his offer - I'd just remembered we needed to turn off the lights before we left - and hurriedly swung back around to go flip the switch in the hallway. Aron grabbed my jacket sleeve to slow me down as Trissy called to get my attention. As I laughingly handed the big basket over, Aron grinned and said, "Kyrie, you have two speeds: 'fast' and 'wide open'!"
I love my friends so much! It was a hard day, but the Lord blessed me with this nice evening - I'm so thankful for His kindness.
Every Sunday I think it will be okay, that all the other wonderful people the Lord has blessed me with at Victory Rd. will fill my heart and thoughts.
I try not to talk about it much. I don't want people to misunderstand and get the wrong idea about how I feel about him. But my college friends at Victory Rd. are like family to me - almost literally. I've never had such a large set of close, wonderful friends my own age like I have had the past four years in this group. I've always wished I had more brothers and sisters, especially brothers, and especially brothers my age, or older. This group has done much to fill that void. I love all the guys. Each one holds a special unique place in my heart. But Archer and Austin are different somehow. I don't love them more than I love the others, but I love them differently. I feel toward them like I always imagined I'd feel towards my real brother if I had one. Of all the guys, these two are closest to being my 'brothers'.
So, I miss my brother. It's similar to how I felt 2009-2010 when Austin was gone on that almost-a-year-long mission trip to a country hostile to the Gospel. But, he was gone on a mission trip, which made it more bearable. And the plan was for him to be back in a few months. We e-mailed him back and forth all the time. And we Skyped him nearly every Sunday morning before church. When he came back, things fell back into the old comfortable familiarity, and life felt 'right' again.
Archer's just gone.
This morning was really good and really hard, both. Austin played acoustic guitar for the music service, and it was bringing back memories of the couple of months last year (or was it the year before?) when he was playing acoustic and Archer played bass. But no one could ever hear the bass, and Archer wouldn't turn it up or play louder, so finally Bro. Dennis recruited Law to play bass, put Archer on acoustic, and Austin on electric. Perfect. Bro. Dennis even said, 'Why haven't we done this before?'
But then those thoughts also brought back the pain of the fact that Bro. Dennis isn't the music minister anymore. And one of the songs we sang this morning was one Mrs. Renae always sang so wonderfully. I was in the choir of course, and it was so hard to get through that one.
And after church I heard someone discussing the progress of the fix-up work on the house Bro. Mike's family lived in, in preparation for Bro. Nick and Lydia and their family to move in.
Victory Rd.'s face is changing. Trent, one of the younger boys in the youth group, plays acoustic guitar with us on Wednesday nights in Archer's place. He's a nice kid, and a talented guitarist. Bro. Nick's family is settling in and becoming a part of us. In preparation for moving on to wherever the Lord will have him and Noel go, Justice stepped down as teacher of our college Sunday School class, it was put on hold until a new teacher could be found, and the members have scattered into other classes for the time being. In fact, our first Sunday to go to different classes was Bro. Mike's family's and Archer's last one at Victory Rd (Jan. 13).
So my little corner of the world at Victory Rd. now looks very different from what it did a year ago - that time being a sample of what I consider some of the best, most wonderful, and most 'growing' times of my life.
And gradually, I think I'm painfully getting used to it. But it almost seems like getting used to an amputation. I've never had an amputation, and I in no way pretend to understand that actual, physical type of pain. Yet, I almost feel like I've gone through something similar. I keep functioning, but parts of my life are gone. The scar is healing over, but there are blank empty spots where vital parts used to be, and sometimes I find myself cruelly and suddenly re-awakened to the fact that they aren't there anymore. Like that song Mrs. Renae used to sing. It was so unexpected, and I nearly lost control of my emotions, right there in the choir in front of everybody. Or seeing Austin playing his heart out and looking over, and there being only an empty space of carpet where Archer used to stand and do the same. Or asking Bro. Dennis a question and, in his answer, realizing I hadn't heard his voice speaking directly to me in literally months, when I used to be the constant brunt of his good-natured wit and jokes. Or hearing someone say something mildly critical of Bro. Mike's family, and thinking how unfair and inconsiderate it was.
And yet life moves on anyway, and there are good things happening too.
1) Aron's cousin's husband recently realized he feels like the Lord is leading him to preach, and Bro. Earl had him preach the morning sermon today. He spoke on leadership, the Old-Testament transition from Elijah to Elisha, and did very well for his first sermon!
2) Law is constantly surprising me with how he is growing in his Christian walk. It's almost as if, around the first of the year, a switch was flipped, and since then it's been slow, steady, constant progress. Watching his attitude and peace and growth has been the single greatest encouragement to me during these recent hard times of change. Oh how I praise the Lord! I think I understand a little of how the apostle John felt when he wrote, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." (3 John 1:4) Oh how thankful! Oh how thankful I am!!
3) There are four babies being added to the church in the fall, three of them coming to families among our college group. Aron and Henley, Aron's cousin and her husband, and Justice and Noel. Praise the Lord!
4) My JV kids on Wednesday nights are such a blessing. Some are just silly and don't seem to care really. Yet I'm glad they are at church instead of off getting into mischief. Many of them though, truly seem to desire to learn and grow more. As time has come along, my thought of, "What am I doing here?!" at the first of the school year when the class started, has changed to, "These kids have so much potential - Lord, help me help them!" The questions they ask, the things they remember, their searching longing, and the discussions we have during small-group time, and Ava and Ashlyn's support as my 'assistant group leaders' have been such blessings.
5) I'm enjoying my Wednesday-afternoon weekly discipleship sessions with Joy so much. She is such a sweet girl with so much potential. We've only had three so far (we missed one week since we started), but I have great hopes for the future. How I pray that the Lord would use these times to grow us both!
6) Tuesday night music practices are again one of the highlights of my week. No, Archer is not there anymore, but the others still are, and the young man who has taken his place is willing, talented, good-natured, and brings his own unique 'flavor' to the group. I try not to think of him as 'Archer's replacement' (just as I try not to think of Bro. Nick's family as 'Bro. Mike's family's replacement'), but as himself. When I do that, I really enjoy the new dynamics. The way some of the other members of the group have pulled together, stepped up, taken up the slack, and bravely kept on and not given up has been such a blessing and encouragement. Things threatened to fall apart there for a couple of weeks - I mean, Archer was our leader! - but various members have shifted responsibilities so they could take a little of his, we've 'kept our chin up', so to speak, and I think we're settling in to a 'new normal'.
7) And all the dear people who have not left. My merciful heavenly Friend has seen fit to leave to me so many of my precious earthly friends. Justice and Noel are still here, for the time being - they feel the Lord may soon be directing them to a different place of service. Austin and Ava are still here, for the time being - Austin is seeking a full-time music ministry position. Toby and Lindy are still here, for the time being - after their wedding this summer, they will probably end up as missionaries in a Latin country; a mutual love for missions and Spanish-speaking people are probably their biggest passions. Aron and Henley and little Timothy are still here. Aron's cousin and her family. Autumn, Julia and her parents, Law, Abigail, Piper, and Bro. and Mrs. S., Nicole and her husband and parents and little brother, Bro. Earl and Mrs. Shannen, my 'brown-eyed boy', Simon, Joy, and their parents, Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie and little Maxwell, and so many others.
"There will always be someone..."
~
Sunday night edit: So, at our Sunday night college supper after church, Justice told us that he and Noel are going to be sticking around for a while. The Sunday School class is going to start up again, and he's going to teach it. He (and Noel said the same thing later) said that it just seems like the Lord keeps closing doors that they thought they might be supposed to go through, and so they'll just stay on here until they feel they have a clear calling to go somewhere else. They're planning to buy a house, and he's planning on finishing up school.
So, we get to keep them a little longer.
Wow. Oh how thankful I am! My Lord is so merciful!
After everyone else had left (the supper was held in the church's fellowship hall this week), it was just Aron and Henley, Toby and Lindy, and Trissy and me left, and we had a good conversation standing, 'on our way out the door', for about half an hour. We talked about the difficulties of trying to sell hand-made crafts in this area, mission trip preparations, concern over Randy, who seems to be going through a strange rough spell, missing Bro. Dennis teaching our college Sunday School class, gladness that Justice is planning to start it back up again, missing Bro. Mike, etc.
It had been Trissy's and my turn to cook, and as we were all getting ready to leave, Aron told Trissy he would take our big tote basket full of food and dishes out to my car for us. I already had it, but must have missed his offer - I'd just remembered we needed to turn off the lights before we left - and hurriedly swung back around to go flip the switch in the hallway. Aron grabbed my jacket sleeve to slow me down as Trissy called to get my attention. As I laughingly handed the big basket over, Aron grinned and said, "Kyrie, you have two speeds: 'fast' and 'wide open'!"
I love my friends so much! It was a hard day, but the Lord blessed me with this nice evening - I'm so thankful for His kindness.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Looking Forward
I must confess, in many respects I am not looking forward to January. In fact, I'm dreading it. The new year is expected to bring many changes. And not all of them are happy ones.
I don't like change anyway. At least not to a large extent. I like things to get comfortable - and stay that way.
A few things this January is bringing that I am not looking forward to:
(1) Bro. Mike and his wife and Camille leaving as missionaries to the Philippines.
(2) A new youth pastor and his family coming to take Bro. Mike's family's place.
(3) Justice and Noel (who'd applied to fill Bro. Mike's position but were not chosen) possibly moving to the 'big city' a few hours north to be over the youth ministry at a church there.
(4) Archer leaving the youth music group to go to college an hour away, and therefore also
(5) The beginning of the disintegration of the youth music group as it is now: Austin, Archer, me, Julia, Simon, and Law.
A few things this January is bringing that I am looking forward to:
(1) Another church mission trip to the children's home and ranch in a neighboring state.
(2) A week-end retreat/youth conference led by the church The Grandparents attend. The youth pastor has asked our youth music group to be the music leaders for it.
(3) The Strength to Stand conference in Tennessee.
Besides these things, I have a mild but uncharacteristic fear when I think of the coming year. So much has changed this past year that I so completely did not see coming. Good and bad.
I have an indomitable hope that the new year will bring the kind of change that will move us as a church back to the blessed ground we stood on at the beginning of 2012, and even move us higher! For that is the goal - higher, always higher; in service for the Lord and growth in His ways.
The struggles and losses and heartbreak of this past summer, especially coming after the soaring gladnesses that there had been... I shudder when I look mentally at the mountain that is before us, taunting us to try to overcome. Us as a church. Us as individuals.
Where are we going? Will we be strong in the face of discouragement or worse? What does 2013 bring us? When Dec. 31, 2013 comes and we turn to look at the past year for the last time, will we see loss or gain? Victory or defeat? Tears of joy or tears of sadness? Black clouds or bright sunlight?
And so I fight my battle against worry. Against fear.
I am afraid. I am hopeful, but I am afraid. Is it wrong to admit it? I don't think so. For I know in Whom I trust. I know my Lord has it all planned out, and nothing that happens, or doesn't, is outside of His doing and control.
God help us be true!
I don't like change anyway. At least not to a large extent. I like things to get comfortable - and stay that way.
A few things this January is bringing that I am not looking forward to:
(1) Bro. Mike and his wife and Camille leaving as missionaries to the Philippines.
(2) A new youth pastor and his family coming to take Bro. Mike's family's place.
(3) Justice and Noel (who'd applied to fill Bro. Mike's position but were not chosen) possibly moving to the 'big city' a few hours north to be over the youth ministry at a church there.
(4) Archer leaving the youth music group to go to college an hour away, and therefore also
(5) The beginning of the disintegration of the youth music group as it is now: Austin, Archer, me, Julia, Simon, and Law.
A few things this January is bringing that I am looking forward to:
(1) Another church mission trip to the children's home and ranch in a neighboring state.
(2) A week-end retreat/youth conference led by the church The Grandparents attend. The youth pastor has asked our youth music group to be the music leaders for it.
(3) The Strength to Stand conference in Tennessee.
Besides these things, I have a mild but uncharacteristic fear when I think of the coming year. So much has changed this past year that I so completely did not see coming. Good and bad.
I have an indomitable hope that the new year will bring the kind of change that will move us as a church back to the blessed ground we stood on at the beginning of 2012, and even move us higher! For that is the goal - higher, always higher; in service for the Lord and growth in His ways.
The struggles and losses and heartbreak of this past summer, especially coming after the soaring gladnesses that there had been... I shudder when I look mentally at the mountain that is before us, taunting us to try to overcome. Us as a church. Us as individuals.
Where are we going? Will we be strong in the face of discouragement or worse? What does 2013 bring us? When Dec. 31, 2013 comes and we turn to look at the past year for the last time, will we see loss or gain? Victory or defeat? Tears of joy or tears of sadness? Black clouds or bright sunlight?
And so I fight my battle against worry. Against fear.
I am afraid. I am hopeful, but I am afraid. Is it wrong to admit it? I don't think so. For I know in Whom I trust. I know my Lord has it all planned out, and nothing that happens, or doesn't, is outside of His doing and control.
God help us be true!
Friday, August 3, 2012
"5 Small Things Friday" No. 44
Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".
For this week, here is my list:
1. Sight:
2. Hearing: "The Desert Song"
3. Smell: Trissy's Car
4. Taste: Oatmeal Cookie Dough
5. Touch: Holding Maxwell
The stories behind the list:
1.
2. Archer brought a new song to Tuesday night practice for us to learn. It's called "The Desert Song", and I think he, and maybe Law, were the only ones who knew it. But it touched me - the tune was beautiful and the words reflected so well the reaction believers in Christ should have, no matter what they are going through. Just a bit of encouragement as I struggle with the difficulty of being patient and content through the discouragements going on at the church right now.
Here are the words:
"This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow"
3. Well, Dad and Mom got Trissy a car for her birthday. It was quite a surprise, even to me! It's a white Chevy Empala. It's used, in nice condition, and when I got in to check it out, it had that wonderful 'new car' smell!
4. Mom wanted me to make oatmeal cookies this week. Oatmeal cookie dough has got to be one of the best foods in the world ;D !
5. Sunday afternoon (we had an afternoon service instead of a night one, since it was 5th Sunday) there was a men's meeting after church. Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie and Maxwell weren't there Sunday morning because Bro. Dennis was singing with a group at another church, but while Mrs. Carrie was waiting on Bro. Dennis to get out of the meeting, Trissy and I got to have a nice visit with her and hold Maxwell for a little while. He is so laid back and easy-going! It had been forever since I'd gotten to hold him and he is getting so big too!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Rest
For the past several weeks, some things have been different at the church. The week before we left for Chicago (I am working on a post telling about our Chicago mission trip), Justice taught the Sunday School class instead of Bro. Dennis. I thought I'd heard he was sick, so I didn't really think anything about it. I asked Austin where Bro. Dennis was and he replied, "He's not here." He had a teasing expression on his face, but there was a strange look in his eyes.
I raised my eyebrows and asked, 'Sooo, should I just not ask?'
He pressed his lips together and nodded. "Yeah..."
So I let it go and didn't think any more about it. Others led the music service also, instead of the usual trio (Bro. Dennis, Mrs. Renae, and another man). From the choir, I saw Bro. Dennis come in late and sit in the balcony. He looked like he felt terrible, but I thought that it was honorable of him to be at church anyway.
The next week of course we were in Chicago, and the next week in Sunday School there was a definite something strange in the air. The Sunday School superintendent led our class, and in his closing remarks he said something about continuing the series in the coming weeks.
This time, I was afraid to ask.
The superintendent has not taught anymore; it turns out Justice has been asked to teach the class, and though he's been doing a great job, it just has not been the same without Bro. Dennis. There has been no choir practice these weeks, and the music has continued to be led by others, usually Austin or Aron. Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie and Maxwell have continued coming in to sit in the balcony, and I have not been able to find them to talk to them after church. Everything is so strange and our family is concerned.
Last Wednesday night after class (the fourth of July), we had a time of fellowship and ice cream after church in the fellowship hall. Bro. Dennis was there and Trissy told him we'd been missing him in Sunday School. I added, "We've been missing you everywhere!"
His face showed complete agreement as he answered, "I've been missing y'all too - alot! Alot!" but he didn't offer an explanation. He seemed just like the same ol' Bro. Dennis, moving a hundred miles an hour, laughing and enjoying life. Evidently the situation, whatever it is, is beyond his control.
Then there's Mrs. Renae's family. For some time I have wondered if something was going on with them. Mrs. Renae just hasn't seemed to be her usual bubbly, joy-filled, vivacious self. She seemed kindof subdued or sad, except when she was singing. And when the trio stopped leading the music on Sunday morning, looking out at her and her family in the crowd, they seemed so solemn. Their youngest daughter is just like Mrs. Renae, happy, energetic, and never meets a stranger, whereas Lela is more like her dad, cheerful, but calm and sensible. Seeing them looking so discouraged gave me such a feeling of concern that it was hard to keep a smiling face while in the choir.
Last Sunday, and last night (Wednesday night class), none of them were there at all. I hoped maybe they were on vacation. I still hope it.
But after class last night, I heard Justice and Noel talking solemnly with someone else, and I think I heard Justice say he'd texted Mrs. Renae and asked if they were going to be there for class, and she'd responded that they'd decided they needed to move on - to find another place to serve, meaning, another church.
It was like a bomb.
Mrs. Renae's family is an integral part of Victory Rd. Mrs. Renae has thrown her almost inexhaustible energy into most of the ministries, projects, undertakings, and jobs the church has been involved in. The girls are extremely active in their classes. Mrs. Renae's husband recently accepted Christ and was baptized after years of attending, and has 'grown' spiritually at such a rate that it has amazed and blessed all who've prayed for him for so many years. They could not be leaving. I had to have misunderstood.
Yet, it made sense, in a strange, mixed-up way.
While I was overhearing that discouraging conversation, Trissy was having a very encouraging one with Randy. It seems that, since we've gotten back from Chicago, he has been 'stretching' himself and growing by leaps and bounds in his courage, and making himself get out of his 'comfort zone'. He really was influenced by the pastor of the church we went up there to help, who had been a very shy person himself when he was younger, but who now is quite outgoing, and an undeniable leader. Randy told Trissy that he hopes to learn enough to be able to lead the mission trip to Chicago next year, that he hopes to go up there himself as an intern before that, and that to earn the money he will need for that undertaking, he has contacted one of the church men (who also went on the trip) with the possibility of working in his hamburger place. He has contacted one of the leaders of a weekend Christian youth outreach in town about helping them. When they told him all they really needed were preachers to preach on Saturday nights, he went to ask Bro. Mike about how to get some sermons put together. He also has an unsaved friend in another state he feels like the Lord wants him to try to go to and lead him to Christ. And all this from a young man who, though always polite, seldom said more than a dozen words to anyone at one time, and never initiated conversations!
Trissy was overflowing with excitement on our way back to the house, rejoicing to see how God is working in Randy's life. I had a hard time keeping my mind out of a gloomy reverie, yet was so thankful for this happy news and the fact that the Lord will win, no matter how hard the devil tries to tear His plans and people apart.
I didn't tell Trissy what I'd overheard.
When we got back to the house, I sat down to think, to try to slow my flying, churning, writhing thoughts, and to talk with the only One Whose company could encourage me, Whose advice could calm me, and Who had the situation in His hand.
Perspective. That's what I needed. Before I allowed a state of panic or near-despair to take over, I had to look at this with the right perspective.
Yes, if Mrs. Renae's family left, Victory Rd. would not be the same. Not only would it not be the same, but - with this 'pillar family' gone - it would be radically different.
Yet, even if they leave, and things are never the same, the whole Victory Rd. family will one day be all together again, with no problems to spoil the fellowship, and no human imperfections and sins to taint our purest worship of the One Who made our joy. And who knows? The Lord does have everything in His control; maybe He will see fit to mend whatever is causing the difficulty, and they will stay.
The Lord brought a beautiful verse to my mind, and I before I went to bed, I turned to my computer and wrote:
"Life is full of ups and downs. Seems like great victories come hand-in-hand with great disappointments. Praise God He stays the same!"
"The only One Who matters has everything just how He wants it. He is in total control; I have peace and can rest."
"I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for Thou, Lord, only makest me (and all those I love) dwell in safety." Psalms 4:8 (words in italics added)
I raised my eyebrows and asked, 'Sooo, should I just not ask?'
He pressed his lips together and nodded. "Yeah..."
So I let it go and didn't think any more about it. Others led the music service also, instead of the usual trio (Bro. Dennis, Mrs. Renae, and another man). From the choir, I saw Bro. Dennis come in late and sit in the balcony. He looked like he felt terrible, but I thought that it was honorable of him to be at church anyway.
The next week of course we were in Chicago, and the next week in Sunday School there was a definite something strange in the air. The Sunday School superintendent led our class, and in his closing remarks he said something about continuing the series in the coming weeks.
This time, I was afraid to ask.
The superintendent has not taught anymore; it turns out Justice has been asked to teach the class, and though he's been doing a great job, it just has not been the same without Bro. Dennis. There has been no choir practice these weeks, and the music has continued to be led by others, usually Austin or Aron. Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie and Maxwell have continued coming in to sit in the balcony, and I have not been able to find them to talk to them after church. Everything is so strange and our family is concerned.
Last Wednesday night after class (the fourth of July), we had a time of fellowship and ice cream after church in the fellowship hall. Bro. Dennis was there and Trissy told him we'd been missing him in Sunday School. I added, "We've been missing you everywhere!"
His face showed complete agreement as he answered, "I've been missing y'all too - alot! Alot!" but he didn't offer an explanation. He seemed just like the same ol' Bro. Dennis, moving a hundred miles an hour, laughing and enjoying life. Evidently the situation, whatever it is, is beyond his control.
Then there's Mrs. Renae's family. For some time I have wondered if something was going on with them. Mrs. Renae just hasn't seemed to be her usual bubbly, joy-filled, vivacious self. She seemed kindof subdued or sad, except when she was singing. And when the trio stopped leading the music on Sunday morning, looking out at her and her family in the crowd, they seemed so solemn. Their youngest daughter is just like Mrs. Renae, happy, energetic, and never meets a stranger, whereas Lela is more like her dad, cheerful, but calm and sensible. Seeing them looking so discouraged gave me such a feeling of concern that it was hard to keep a smiling face while in the choir.
Last Sunday, and last night (Wednesday night class), none of them were there at all. I hoped maybe they were on vacation. I still hope it.
But after class last night, I heard Justice and Noel talking solemnly with someone else, and I think I heard Justice say he'd texted Mrs. Renae and asked if they were going to be there for class, and she'd responded that they'd decided they needed to move on - to find another place to serve, meaning, another church.
It was like a bomb.
Mrs. Renae's family is an integral part of Victory Rd. Mrs. Renae has thrown her almost inexhaustible energy into most of the ministries, projects, undertakings, and jobs the church has been involved in. The girls are extremely active in their classes. Mrs. Renae's husband recently accepted Christ and was baptized after years of attending, and has 'grown' spiritually at such a rate that it has amazed and blessed all who've prayed for him for so many years. They could not be leaving. I had to have misunderstood.
Yet, it made sense, in a strange, mixed-up way.
While I was overhearing that discouraging conversation, Trissy was having a very encouraging one with Randy. It seems that, since we've gotten back from Chicago, he has been 'stretching' himself and growing by leaps and bounds in his courage, and making himself get out of his 'comfort zone'. He really was influenced by the pastor of the church we went up there to help, who had been a very shy person himself when he was younger, but who now is quite outgoing, and an undeniable leader. Randy told Trissy that he hopes to learn enough to be able to lead the mission trip to Chicago next year, that he hopes to go up there himself as an intern before that, and that to earn the money he will need for that undertaking, he has contacted one of the church men (who also went on the trip) with the possibility of working in his hamburger place. He has contacted one of the leaders of a weekend Christian youth outreach in town about helping them. When they told him all they really needed were preachers to preach on Saturday nights, he went to ask Bro. Mike about how to get some sermons put together. He also has an unsaved friend in another state he feels like the Lord wants him to try to go to and lead him to Christ. And all this from a young man who, though always polite, seldom said more than a dozen words to anyone at one time, and never initiated conversations!
Trissy was overflowing with excitement on our way back to the house, rejoicing to see how God is working in Randy's life. I had a hard time keeping my mind out of a gloomy reverie, yet was so thankful for this happy news and the fact that the Lord will win, no matter how hard the devil tries to tear His plans and people apart.
I didn't tell Trissy what I'd overheard.
When we got back to the house, I sat down to think, to try to slow my flying, churning, writhing thoughts, and to talk with the only One Whose company could encourage me, Whose advice could calm me, and Who had the situation in His hand.
Perspective. That's what I needed. Before I allowed a state of panic or near-despair to take over, I had to look at this with the right perspective.
Yes, if Mrs. Renae's family left, Victory Rd. would not be the same. Not only would it not be the same, but - with this 'pillar family' gone - it would be radically different.
Yet, even if they leave, and things are never the same, the whole Victory Rd. family will one day be all together again, with no problems to spoil the fellowship, and no human imperfections and sins to taint our purest worship of the One Who made our joy. And who knows? The Lord does have everything in His control; maybe He will see fit to mend whatever is causing the difficulty, and they will stay.
The Lord brought a beautiful verse to my mind, and I before I went to bed, I turned to my computer and wrote:
"Life is full of ups and downs. Seems like great victories come hand-in-hand with great disappointments. Praise God He stays the same!"
"The only One Who matters has everything just how He wants it. He is in total control; I have peace and can rest."
"I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for Thou, Lord, only makest me (and all those I love) dwell in safety." Psalms 4:8 (words in italics added)
Friday, December 23, 2011
"5 Small Things Friday" No. 12
Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".
For this week, here is my list:
1. Sight: Bro. Dennis And Mrs. Carrie Holding Maxwell In Church
2. Hearing: A Bunch Of Crows In A Tree
3. Smell: Mrs. Renae's Youngest Daughter's Hair
4. Taste:
5. Touch: Maxwell's Hand
The stories behind the list:
1. So many Sunday mornings over the past two years, as I've listened to Bro. Earl's preaching, my eyes have wandered to where Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie sit, a little ahead and to the right of where my family is. I have envisioned a small round head resting in the crook of those sheltering arms. I have ached and prayed for the day when that image would not be imagined, but real.
This Sunday morning, it was. And I have felt joy like that only a very few times in my life. Joy, and the real-life realizing of the faith that believes in the result of Work you cannot see.
2. Have you ever been near a tree where a whole bunch of crows are having a gossip party? My what a ruckus they make! But what a nice, country-ish sort of ruckus :) !
3. The Wednesday night before Christmas, Victory Rd. has a church service by candlelight, and the classes aren't divided up like usual on Wednesday night, everybody's together. I got to the church early, since I went straight from work. Mrs. Renae's youngest daughter, who's about six and the type that never meets a stranger, came to me about as soon as I'd gotten sat down and asked, "Miss Kyrie, will you braid my hair?" Of course I was happy to. She chattered the whole time, and informed me that if I smelled strawberries, it was her hair because she had just washed it and her shampoo smelled like strawberries. I told her it was very nice :) !
4. I actually forgot to record a 'Taste' thing for this week... :[
5. Sunday after church, Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie were getting ready to leave, and Bro. Dennis was carrying Maxwell's carrier to the door. I had hurried over to where they were, hoping to get a better view of the baby (I'd only seen pictures), but when I saw they were ready to leave, I stepped back, not wanting to delay them. Bro. Dennis noticed though, and stopped and turned the carrier so I could see. I don't think I've ever seen a newborn baby that I could honestly say was good-looking - until Maxwell. He is beautiful, end of story.
One of his tiny little hands was out from under the blanket, and I couldn't resist reaching out to touch it with one finger. He stirred a little in his sleep, and I wanted to cry for sheer happiness.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Supreme Happiness
I am supremely happy. This has been a Sunday of great things! Oh how GOOD the Lord is!!
Precious little Maxwell was in church for the first time this morning. Trissy and I had nursery today, so didn't really get to see him until after church. But we didn't have any kids in the nursery for a while, so at one point I left to creep down the hall, around the corner, and peek in at the little windows of one of the doors into the auditorium - the one behind where my family usually sits.
I looked over at Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie, just like I have for so many Sundays in the past.
I'd look over at them and imagine the day when the Lord would grant my prayers and the prayers of so many others, and they would be sitting together, just like always, but their arms would no longer be empty.
When I peeked in that window, I saw that picture. Only this time it was not my wishful thinking taking snapshots for my hopeful imagination. This time, it was real.
How my heart is singing!
Mrs. Carrie had him in his carrier after church, so no one held him, but (when I finally got over there after rushing to get out of the nursery after church) as Bro. Dennis was taking him up the isle to go to the car, he saw me hurrying over, craning my neck to get a look, and turned the carrier so I could see. I knelt down and looked into that tiny face.
He was so perfect. So little, such a baby, but his face was such a perfect blend of Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie. So real. My heart felt like it might stop.
One little hand was out from under the blanket. I touched it and he moved his fingers, and it was like touching a miracle.
I am so overwhelmed by the KINDNESS of the Lord. We in no way deserve for Him to look upon us with pity, to acknowledge our hurts, to feel or ease our pain. But He does.
"Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." Ps. 27:14
"For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of Him:" 1 Samuel 1:27
Precious little Maxwell was in church for the first time this morning. Trissy and I had nursery today, so didn't really get to see him until after church. But we didn't have any kids in the nursery for a while, so at one point I left to creep down the hall, around the corner, and peek in at the little windows of one of the doors into the auditorium - the one behind where my family usually sits.
I looked over at Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie, just like I have for so many Sundays in the past.
I'd look over at them and imagine the day when the Lord would grant my prayers and the prayers of so many others, and they would be sitting together, just like always, but their arms would no longer be empty.
When I peeked in that window, I saw that picture. Only this time it was not my wishful thinking taking snapshots for my hopeful imagination. This time, it was real.
How my heart is singing!
Mrs. Carrie had him in his carrier after church, so no one held him, but (when I finally got over there after rushing to get out of the nursery after church) as Bro. Dennis was taking him up the isle to go to the car, he saw me hurrying over, craning my neck to get a look, and turned the carrier so I could see. I knelt down and looked into that tiny face.
He was so perfect. So little, such a baby, but his face was such a perfect blend of Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie. So real. My heart felt like it might stop.
One little hand was out from under the blanket. I touched it and he moved his fingers, and it was like touching a miracle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am so overwhelmed by the KINDNESS of the Lord. We in no way deserve for Him to look upon us with pity, to acknowledge our hurts, to feel or ease our pain. But He does.
"Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." Ps. 27:14
"For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of Him:" 1 Samuel 1:27
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