I am not at all in the habit of using the word "awesome" to describe things, but in light of the great blessing the Lord gave me in this Sunday, I think it's almost worthy of the word.
The morning dawned beautifully. I went up to The Grandparents' to fix their breakfast (we've been taking turns doing that - it makes it easier for them on a busy morning trying to get ready for church), and the air had a little chill in it, but the sunshine was warm and sweet.
I finished helping them, and came back to the house, in high spirits and ready for my own breakfast, looking forward to a morning at the Lord's house. Later as I was getting ready, I got a message from Noel, reminding everyone that this morning was the start of Justice's New Testament Survey Sunday school class, and I felt an even greater expectation!
Justice was making the class available to whoever wanted to take it in the church, not just the college class, so Dad and Mom had signed up to take it as well. Because it was going to be more people than usual, we were going to meet in the larger classroom downstairs under the youth room, in the gym across the street from the church building. We were running a little late, so we parked in the small lot behind the church (closer to the gym), and as Dad and Mom gathered their Bibles and things, they told Trissy and me to go ahead and go to the classroom, so Justice would know we were there and on our way.
Trissy and I started across the little lot behind the church building, toward the street that separates the church from the gym and it's parking lot and the big, empty, grassy lot that also serves as spare parking space. The morning sun was beautiful, the air was crisp and clear, and we strolled along breathing deeply of the Spring sweetness.
Trissy suddenly called my attention to a tall young figure crossing the grassy lot quite a ways ahead of us. It was Law, heading to his Sunday School class in the youth room.
"There goes Mr. S." she commented, smiling.
I looked up. "Mmhmm" I hadn't noticed him yet, but his bright red polo made him hard to miss.
He strode along comfortably with a firm, unhurried step, his shoulders straight and his head up, moving gently, as if he were enjoying the beautiful morning. Less than a year ago, he would have ambled indifferently along, his shoulders slumped a little forward, and his gaze for the most part turned downward.
Taking note of the difference, my heart felt fit to burst with thankfulness for the Lord's work in that young heart.
Justice was the only one in the classroom when we walked in, but his mom was right behind us, then Noel, Autumn, and Aron's cousin's husband. Toby hobbled in, his leg in a brace after surgery for a torn ACL, and another older couple filled out the class. Justice said Austin was going to be leading the music service this morning, and he was getting the last details taken care of, so he and Ava might be late. We went ahead and started, but they came in pretty soon.
It was a good class, and I think we're going to learn alot. And such a wonderful, comfortable, combination of old times and new times! The thought kept running through my mind, "This is so right. This feels so right."
Later in the choir room, as the choir members trickled in, Lindsay (who has been singing with us off-and-on for several months) came up to me, said good morning, and shyly gave me what I call a 'greeting hug' (which I kindof explain in this post :) ). As she stepped back, she said, in her soft feminine way, 'You look pretty today. Well,' she paused and tilted her head as if correcting herself, 'you always look pretty. I love your hair.'
I was caught off guard.
'Aw,' I kindof ducked my head, and smiled in confusion, 'Thank you!'
I didn't know what to say! I was completely taken by surprise. Seldom am I told that I am pretty - which is convenient, because I know it's not true, and it's nice to not have to try to come up with a polite response.
But coming from a modern teen-age girl, it meant so much - to think that maybe I had been able to influence her enough as a friend for her to want to reach back out to me in her own way.
As the choir walked out in our single-file line, I saw that, not only was Austin leading, but the instruments were switched up too.
Usually, Bro. Blake leads, Lydia plays acoustic guitar, Austin is on electric, and Bro. Dennis on bass, with Simon on drums, and a young woman of the church (whose husband is a veterinarian - just a random FYI fact :) ) plays the piano. This morning though, Austin was playing acoustic guitar (in addition to leading the singing), Bro. Dennis was on electric, and Law on bass! I don't think Law has been on bass for a Sunday morning service since Bro. Blake was put in charge of the music. Simon was still on drums and the lady on the piano, but Bro. Blake was incorporating some extra percussion (tambourine and cajon) that isn't usually used.
Walking out and seeing this setup rejoiced my heart.
And the service just kept getting better as we began to sing.
My heart was so glad. I kept getting that thought again, "This is right. This is so right."
I know that, as a child of God, my joy is not dependent on my circumstances. The Lord never changes; He remains the amazing, caring, dependable, trustworthy Friend that He was when I first met Him. He will never go somewhere where I cannot be around Him anymore. He will never disappoint me. He will never make a mistake or let me down. He is always available to put His arms around me and let me lean into Him. He is the true source of anything good or enjoyable that is part of my life. HE is.
And yet I would be denying a fact of life if I tried to pretend that circumstances do not influence the way a Christian feels. Christians are not immune to sorrow or happiness. They are just as prone to emotion, doubt, struggle, and soaring victory as a person is who does not know God. The difference is that we have the Lord as our Friend and help. He guides us and helps us through difficult, as well as victorious times. And He uses both the really hard and the really great times to mold us into who He wants us to be.
Today was one of those really great days.
I guess pretty much the only thing that happened to mar the beauty of the day, was choir practice.
There were alot of people out, I guess because of Spring Break, and it was a really small crowd. There were only two in the 'men' (tenor and bass) section, and those were the two fifth-grade boys who have been singing with us for the past couple of months. I sing tenor, so when I went up into the choir, I sat by them.
I'm thankful to say that Bro. Dennis still comes and sings in the choir, even though he technically doesn't even have to be there anymore. There's usually at least one other man that is there to sing tenor, but he wasn't there this afternoon. So when Bro. Dennis came in a little late, I moved over a space, so he could sit next to the boys.
I pretty much couldn't concentrate the rest of practice. We were working on songs from a book Bro. Dennis had used with us last year. And here he was, in the choir instead of leading it. Sitting next to me, and yet a stranger. The man who taught me as much (probably more) about practical Christian living, about how to knowledgeably yet respectfully defend the Faith, about choosing joy, about reliance on and faith in the sovereignty of God, than any other preacher or teacher I've ever had. One of my heroes of the Faith. Just, gone.
I didn't feel that bitter piercing pain, only a dull sad ache. How I wished that I dared turn to him and say simply, "I miss you."
Of course I didn't, but I couldn't help but wonder, what would happen if I did? Inside, my heart spoke quietly on; quiet, but so deeply hurting. "I miss you. Why did you leave? Where did you go? Will you ever come back? I know you're still in there somewhere. Aren't you? Do you even exist anymore? Deep down, are you still in there, or is this stranger here to stay? To replace you? Please come back. I miss you. And I'm not the only one. Do you not see the pain in the eyes of others here who love you?"
My mind wandered to memories of happy choir practices only a couple of years ago. When Bro. Jack and Mrs. Janet, Bro. Mike and Camille, Mrs Carrie, Mrs. Renae, and Bro. Blake were still in it. When laughter and music were strong because they went together. When Bro. Dennis's merry heart and musical knowledge refused to be beaten by our amateurity, and he'd whip us into shape with his wit and talent.
Yeah, choir practice was really hard.
But aside from that, the rest of the evening was pleasant. And after church, our college fellowship supper was at Austin and Ava's. They made spaghetti together - dear Ava's biggest source of remorse is the fact that she can't cook. But she's serious about learning, and her experiments so far have turned out quite well. I hate to be at someone's house without helping out somehow, so she put me and Aron's little cousin to making garlic bread. Aron, Henley, and Timothy were there, Aron's cousin and her husband, toddler son, and little sister, Justice and Noel and Justice's younger brother Tanner, Austin and Ava of course, and me. Trissy was tired out from a long week of school, so she didn't go.
It seemed like such a small group, but it was pleasant and relaxing.
After supper, the guys were outside trying to fix Tanner's truck that wouldn't start, Aron and Henley and Aron's cousin's family had already left to get the kids to bed, and Noel was watching the progress on the truck. I made Ava let me help her clean the kitchen, and we had a good talk about plans for the future, how God uses events in our lives, and how He's been working recently, as I washed and she dried and put away the dishes.
We were nearly done. The guys had gotten Tanner's truck running, and they came in to see how we were getting along before Justice, Noel, and Tanner said goodnight and left.
I finished drying the salad tongs that had been used to serve the spaghetti noodles, and asked where they were supposed to be put. Austin opened a drawer.
"Oh. These are salad tongs." I said as I put them in, pretending to just then figure out their use. "Salad tongs." I emphasized to Austin, waving my hands under his nose as he bent to shut the drawer.
'Yeah, that's why we're using them for spaghetti,' he returned, completely unruffled. Austin does not like vegetables.
Ava spoke up from where she was putting up the plates. 'Austin doesn't really eat salads.' She made a disapproving face.
'Don't worry,' I reassured her, as Austin took the towel from me to dry his hands and I turned back to the sink for another dish. 'We'll convert him yet.'
Austin finished drying his hands. 'Good luck,' he replied. He draped the towel over my shoulder, patted it sympathetically, and left the kitchen. Ava and I looked at each other and chuckled.
I enjoyed the drive back to the house, tired but happily reliving the memories of the wonderful day. I turned off the highway onto our dirt road and drove slowly up the little hill, savoring the sight of the bright summer stars above the cool smoothness of the pasture grass on my left. I turned into our drive on the right and parked, got out, and walked back to the end of the drive - which faces that pasture - and stood at the end, staring up at the stars. The air had that delicate yet hardy touch of cool-in-warmth that is so typical of Spring evenings. It wasn't cool, it wasn't warm, it was fresh and it was perfect. I saw the tiny blinking lights of two airplanes and the darting path of a shooting star. My heart was so full.
I stood there quite a while, wishing I could look for hours, and resolving that I was going to spend the night sleeping under the stars some day.
When I turned to go back to the house though, the picture that met my sight touched my heart just as strongly as the one I was turning from, though in a completely different way.
Our house (it's actually a double-wide trailer that Dad's improved and built on to), sits back a little from the dirt road. The front outside light was on, and the big oak in our front yard was a radiating silhouette, lit up magically by the light behind it. The windows of the house glowed a cozy golden. My steps made a satisfying crunching sound on the gravelly drive, and my heart was leaning considerably to the lighter side as I went in.
Showing posts with label Henley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Henley. Show all posts
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
After church this evening, I walked across the street to the gym to find Ava. She and Austin were supposed to be cooking for our college meal tonight, but I'd gotten a message from Henley saying it was canceled. I just wanted to check with Ava and see if they'd already made something, and if we were going to have it anyway.
As I crossed the street from the church building to the gym building, my 'brown-eyed boy' was walking across also from farther up, headed to where his car was parked beside the gym building. Our triangle converged near his car, and after exchanging greetings, I asked him if he'd had a good time at our small town's yearly Old Days celebration. By this time he'd reached his car and I was almost to the gym door - the one with the new keypad lock on it. He stood at the driver's side door looking puzzled a minute, then exclaimed, 'Oh yeah! You were there! I was trying to think how you knew about it.'
I smiled.
He said it'd been okay; he worked the booth for the local gym because several of the employees that were supposed to run it couldn't be there. I ask him if they'd paid him and he said they had. I grinned, 'Well, that's something then!'
'Oh yeah, sure!', he agreed heartily.
I turned and punched in the code and opened the door. 'Yeah, and when did that happen? I feel like I've been sort of out of it with stuff around here.' He nodded towards the keypad on the door, leaving his car and following me into the gym.
'A couple of weeks ago,' I answered. We walked together across the big basketball court, dodging third-graders rip-sticking and playing basketball now that their class was out.
'I don't feel like I've been here in so long. I mean, I've been up there,' he motioned with his head back towards the church building, 'but not over here.'
'Have they been working you alot on Wednesday nights?' I asked sympathetically. I didn't want to seem like I was fussing at him for not being there - but I wanted him to know we'd missed him.
'Yeah,' he shook his head slightly and watched the floor as he walked. 'Alot of other people had already asked for Wednesday nights off.' His head came up, he straightened his shoulders, and his voice took on a determined note. 'But I told them I was not working on Sundays!'
I grinned. 'Good for you!' I exclaimed, proud of him, knowing how hard life is right now for him, wanting so much for Good to win the struggle, and thankful that he seemingly desires to do what's right.
We reached the classroom that contains the stairwell that leads up to the youth room. Ava, Joy, and Piper were coming out, and Ava and I met in the doorway. Joy and Piper came on through and into the gym, and out the nearest outside door. My 'brown-eyed boy' continued on into the room when I stopped to talk to Ava, then soon excused himself as he passed between us back out the door, back into the gym and, I assume, out of the gym and into his car and left. I didn't really notice it until later, when I was thinking over the day, and realized he must have come into the gym building at all only because I was talking to him. And when I started talking to Ava, he left. I hope he didn't feel like I was rude to him!
Poor dear boy. All my poor dear boys! And girls! The world is such a horrible place for a Christian teenager to try to grow up in! Like flowers trying to grow in the desert. Oh the struggles, even if there are kind gardeners who tend and water the fragile plants! And if there are none... it's that much more difficult. Only the fact that their God controls the weather allows these flowers to survive, grow, and even, Lord willing, flourish in this hostile place.
Ava had gotten Henley's message about supper being canceled before she started cooking for it, so we would just go ahead and call it off completely.
We stood and chatted for a few minutes. She and Austin had gone up to go to church with Archer this morning. She said it was different - more geared to the college-age population that dominates that college town. She said it was nice and she enjoyed the service, but the way she carefully chose her wording, and her politely positive tone, made me think maybe she hadn't thought it was quite as amazing as Archer seems to feel like it is. Sweet, considerate Ava!
Switching 'gears', the youth class is starting a small-group discipleship-type study using Francis Chan's book, "Multiply" as their curriculum on Sunday nights. Tonight was the first week, and Ava is a small-group leader. She really seemed excited about that; she said Piper and Joy are the two girls in her group!
After talking with Ava, I went on out the gym door, and Piper and Abigail were standing under the over-hang, waiting, I suppose, for Law to come downstairs to take them home. I stopped to talk to them a few minutes, and sweet Piper threw her arms around me impulsively. There are different kinds of hugs. It is not uncommon for Piper and me to give each other what I mentally call 'greeting hugs' - when you meet a friend, and you're like, "Oh hey so-and-so!" and you give them a friendly hug. But there's also what I call a 'speechless hug' - where your heart is so full, and you want the person to know that you care about them and love them, but you don't know what to say. So you hug them, tight, without saying anything, and don't hurry to let go. Now, this is just my 'take' on hugs, but I theorize that it's probably similar for other people too. And if that's the case, Piper gave me a 'speechless hug' then, though I didn't really think about it until later. But she's not really a 'huggy' person, and I wonder what she had on her heart to make her give me one like that.
We stood and chatted for a few more minutes until Law came down and they loaded up in Law's Explorer.
Julia and Toby's cousin (who is here visiting for a few days) came down about the same time, and I talked to them a minute. Autumn had surgery on her wrist this past week, and wasn't there. She and Julia are best friends and I asked Julia how she was. That led to a brainstorm on Julia and Toby's cousin's part, to go visit Autumn and surprise her. Toby's cousin went with them on the mission trip to Nicaragua last year, and she and Julia and Autumn became great friends. Autumn didn't know she was here.
I left them plotting on how they were going to surprise Autumn, and headed down the sidewalk that goes beside the gym, walking back up to the church building. The S. kids hadn't pulled out yet, and I waved at them as I walked past. Abigail and Law waved back from the front seats.
I walked back up to the church building feeling a mixture of emotions. Concern, happiness, curiosity, and contentment.
As I crossed the street from the church building to the gym building, my 'brown-eyed boy' was walking across also from farther up, headed to where his car was parked beside the gym building. Our triangle converged near his car, and after exchanging greetings, I asked him if he'd had a good time at our small town's yearly Old Days celebration. By this time he'd reached his car and I was almost to the gym door - the one with the new keypad lock on it. He stood at the driver's side door looking puzzled a minute, then exclaimed, 'Oh yeah! You were there! I was trying to think how you knew about it.'
I smiled.
He said it'd been okay; he worked the booth for the local gym because several of the employees that were supposed to run it couldn't be there. I ask him if they'd paid him and he said they had. I grinned, 'Well, that's something then!'
'Oh yeah, sure!', he agreed heartily.
I turned and punched in the code and opened the door. 'Yeah, and when did that happen? I feel like I've been sort of out of it with stuff around here.' He nodded towards the keypad on the door, leaving his car and following me into the gym.
'A couple of weeks ago,' I answered. We walked together across the big basketball court, dodging third-graders rip-sticking and playing basketball now that their class was out.
'I don't feel like I've been here in so long. I mean, I've been up there,' he motioned with his head back towards the church building, 'but not over here.'
'Have they been working you alot on Wednesday nights?' I asked sympathetically. I didn't want to seem like I was fussing at him for not being there - but I wanted him to know we'd missed him.
'Yeah,' he shook his head slightly and watched the floor as he walked. 'Alot of other people had already asked for Wednesday nights off.' His head came up, he straightened his shoulders, and his voice took on a determined note. 'But I told them I was not working on Sundays!'
I grinned. 'Good for you!' I exclaimed, proud of him, knowing how hard life is right now for him, wanting so much for Good to win the struggle, and thankful that he seemingly desires to do what's right.
We reached the classroom that contains the stairwell that leads up to the youth room. Ava, Joy, and Piper were coming out, and Ava and I met in the doorway. Joy and Piper came on through and into the gym, and out the nearest outside door. My 'brown-eyed boy' continued on into the room when I stopped to talk to Ava, then soon excused himself as he passed between us back out the door, back into the gym and, I assume, out of the gym and into his car and left. I didn't really notice it until later, when I was thinking over the day, and realized he must have come into the gym building at all only because I was talking to him. And when I started talking to Ava, he left. I hope he didn't feel like I was rude to him!
Poor dear boy. All my poor dear boys! And girls! The world is such a horrible place for a Christian teenager to try to grow up in! Like flowers trying to grow in the desert. Oh the struggles, even if there are kind gardeners who tend and water the fragile plants! And if there are none... it's that much more difficult. Only the fact that their God controls the weather allows these flowers to survive, grow, and even, Lord willing, flourish in this hostile place.
Ava had gotten Henley's message about supper being canceled before she started cooking for it, so we would just go ahead and call it off completely.
We stood and chatted for a few minutes. She and Austin had gone up to go to church with Archer this morning. She said it was different - more geared to the college-age population that dominates that college town. She said it was nice and she enjoyed the service, but the way she carefully chose her wording, and her politely positive tone, made me think maybe she hadn't thought it was quite as amazing as Archer seems to feel like it is. Sweet, considerate Ava!
Switching 'gears', the youth class is starting a small-group discipleship-type study using Francis Chan's book, "Multiply" as their curriculum on Sunday nights. Tonight was the first week, and Ava is a small-group leader. She really seemed excited about that; she said Piper and Joy are the two girls in her group!
After talking with Ava, I went on out the gym door, and Piper and Abigail were standing under the over-hang, waiting, I suppose, for Law to come downstairs to take them home. I stopped to talk to them a few minutes, and sweet Piper threw her arms around me impulsively. There are different kinds of hugs. It is not uncommon for Piper and me to give each other what I mentally call 'greeting hugs' - when you meet a friend, and you're like, "Oh hey so-and-so!" and you give them a friendly hug. But there's also what I call a 'speechless hug' - where your heart is so full, and you want the person to know that you care about them and love them, but you don't know what to say. So you hug them, tight, without saying anything, and don't hurry to let go. Now, this is just my 'take' on hugs, but I theorize that it's probably similar for other people too. And if that's the case, Piper gave me a 'speechless hug' then, though I didn't really think about it until later. But she's not really a 'huggy' person, and I wonder what she had on her heart to make her give me one like that.
We stood and chatted for a few more minutes until Law came down and they loaded up in Law's Explorer.
Julia and Toby's cousin (who is here visiting for a few days) came down about the same time, and I talked to them a minute. Autumn had surgery on her wrist this past week, and wasn't there. She and Julia are best friends and I asked Julia how she was. That led to a brainstorm on Julia and Toby's cousin's part, to go visit Autumn and surprise her. Toby's cousin went with them on the mission trip to Nicaragua last year, and she and Julia and Autumn became great friends. Autumn didn't know she was here.
I left them plotting on how they were going to surprise Autumn, and headed down the sidewalk that goes beside the gym, walking back up to the church building. The S. kids hadn't pulled out yet, and I waved at them as I walked past. Abigail and Law waved back from the front seats.
I walked back up to the church building feeling a mixture of emotions. Concern, happiness, curiosity, and contentment.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Sunday, Mar. 3, 2013
I miss Archer. It's just that simple. I miss him alot.
Every Sunday I think it will be okay, that all the other wonderful people the Lord has blessed me with at Victory Rd. will fill my heart and thoughts.
I try not to talk about it much. I don't want people to misunderstand and get the wrong idea about how I feel about him. But my college friends at Victory Rd. are like family to me - almost literally. I've never had such a large set of close, wonderful friends my own age like I have had the past four years in this group. I've always wished I had more brothers and sisters, especially brothers, and especially brothers my age, or older. This group has done much to fill that void. I love all the guys. Each one holds a special unique place in my heart. But Archer and Austin are different somehow. I don't love them more than I love the others, but I love them differently. I feel toward them like I always imagined I'd feel towards my real brother if I had one. Of all the guys, these two are closest to being my 'brothers'.
So, I miss my brother. It's similar to how I felt 2009-2010 when Austin was gone on that almost-a-year-long mission trip to a country hostile to the Gospel. But, he was gone on a mission trip, which made it more bearable. And the plan was for him to be back in a few months. We e-mailed him back and forth all the time. And we Skyped him nearly every Sunday morning before church. When he came back, things fell back into the old comfortable familiarity, and life felt 'right' again.
Archer's just gone.
This morning was really good and really hard, both. Austin played acoustic guitar for the music service, and it was bringing back memories of the couple of months last year (or was it the year before?) when he was playing acoustic and Archer played bass. But no one could ever hear the bass, and Archer wouldn't turn it up or play louder, so finally Bro. Dennis recruited Law to play bass, put Archer on acoustic, and Austin on electric. Perfect. Bro. Dennis even said, 'Why haven't we done this before?'
But then those thoughts also brought back the pain of the fact that Bro. Dennis isn't the music minister anymore. And one of the songs we sang this morning was one Mrs. Renae always sang so wonderfully. I was in the choir of course, and it was so hard to get through that one.
And after church I heard someone discussing the progress of the fix-up work on the house Bro. Mike's family lived in, in preparation for Bro. Nick and Lydia and their family to move in.
Victory Rd.'s face is changing. Trent, one of the younger boys in the youth group, plays acoustic guitar with us on Wednesday nights in Archer's place. He's a nice kid, and a talented guitarist. Bro. Nick's family is settling in and becoming a part of us. In preparation for moving on to wherever the Lord will have him and Noel go, Justice stepped down as teacher of our college Sunday School class, it was put on hold until a new teacher could be found, and the members have scattered into other classes for the time being. In fact, our first Sunday to go to different classes was Bro. Mike's family's and Archer's last one at Victory Rd (Jan. 13).
So my little corner of the world at Victory Rd. now looks very different from what it did a year ago - that time being a sample of what I consider some of the best, most wonderful, and most 'growing' times of my life.
And gradually, I think I'm painfully getting used to it. But it almost seems like getting used to an amputation. I've never had an amputation, and I in no way pretend to understand that actual, physical type of pain. Yet, I almost feel like I've gone through something similar. I keep functioning, but parts of my life are gone. The scar is healing over, but there are blank empty spots where vital parts used to be, and sometimes I find myself cruelly and suddenly re-awakened to the fact that they aren't there anymore. Like that song Mrs. Renae used to sing. It was so unexpected, and I nearly lost control of my emotions, right there in the choir in front of everybody. Or seeing Austin playing his heart out and looking over, and there being only an empty space of carpet where Archer used to stand and do the same. Or asking Bro. Dennis a question and, in his answer, realizing I hadn't heard his voice speaking directly to me in literally months, when I used to be the constant brunt of his good-natured wit and jokes. Or hearing someone say something mildly critical of Bro. Mike's family, and thinking how unfair and inconsiderate it was.
And yet life moves on anyway, and there are good things happening too.
1) Aron's cousin's husband recently realized he feels like the Lord is leading him to preach, and Bro. Earl had him preach the morning sermon today. He spoke on leadership, the Old-Testament transition from Elijah to Elisha, and did very well for his first sermon!
2) Law is constantly surprising me with how he is growing in his Christian walk. It's almost as if, around the first of the year, a switch was flipped, and since then it's been slow, steady, constant progress. Watching his attitude and peace and growth has been the single greatest encouragement to me during these recent hard times of change. Oh how I praise the Lord! I think I understand a little of how the apostle John felt when he wrote, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." (3 John 1:4) Oh how thankful! Oh how thankful I am!!
3) There are four babies being added to the church in the fall, three of them coming to families among our college group. Aron and Henley, Aron's cousin and her husband, and Justice and Noel. Praise the Lord!
4) My JV kids on Wednesday nights are such a blessing. Some are just silly and don't seem to care really. Yet I'm glad they are at church instead of off getting into mischief. Many of them though, truly seem to desire to learn and grow more. As time has come along, my thought of, "What am I doing here?!" at the first of the school year when the class started, has changed to, "These kids have so much potential - Lord, help me help them!" The questions they ask, the things they remember, their searching longing, and the discussions we have during small-group time, and Ava and Ashlyn's support as my 'assistant group leaders' have been such blessings.
5) I'm enjoying my Wednesday-afternoon weekly discipleship sessions with Joy so much. She is such a sweet girl with so much potential. We've only had three so far (we missed one week since we started), but I have great hopes for the future. How I pray that the Lord would use these times to grow us both!
6) Tuesday night music practices are again one of the highlights of my week. No, Archer is not there anymore, but the others still are, and the young man who has taken his place is willing, talented, good-natured, and brings his own unique 'flavor' to the group. I try not to think of him as 'Archer's replacement' (just as I try not to think of Bro. Nick's family as 'Bro. Mike's family's replacement'), but as himself. When I do that, I really enjoy the new dynamics. The way some of the other members of the group have pulled together, stepped up, taken up the slack, and bravely kept on and not given up has been such a blessing and encouragement. Things threatened to fall apart there for a couple of weeks - I mean, Archer was our leader! - but various members have shifted responsibilities so they could take a little of his, we've 'kept our chin up', so to speak, and I think we're settling in to a 'new normal'.
7) And all the dear people who have not left. My merciful heavenly Friend has seen fit to leave to me so many of my precious earthly friends. Justice and Noel are still here, for the time being - they feel the Lord may soon be directing them to a different place of service. Austin and Ava are still here, for the time being - Austin is seeking a full-time music ministry position. Toby and Lindy are still here, for the time being - after their wedding this summer, they will probably end up as missionaries in a Latin country; a mutual love for missions and Spanish-speaking people are probably their biggest passions. Aron and Henley and little Timothy are still here. Aron's cousin and her family. Autumn, Julia and her parents, Law, Abigail, Piper, and Bro. and Mrs. S., Nicole and her husband and parents and little brother, Bro. Earl and Mrs. Shannen, my 'brown-eyed boy', Simon, Joy, and their parents, Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie and little Maxwell, and so many others.
"There will always be someone..."
~
Sunday night edit: So, at our Sunday night college supper after church, Justice told us that he and Noel are going to be sticking around for a while. The Sunday School class is going to start up again, and he's going to teach it. He (and Noel said the same thing later) said that it just seems like the Lord keeps closing doors that they thought they might be supposed to go through, and so they'll just stay on here until they feel they have a clear calling to go somewhere else. They're planning to buy a house, and he's planning on finishing up school.
So, we get to keep them a little longer.
Wow. Oh how thankful I am! My Lord is so merciful!
After everyone else had left (the supper was held in the church's fellowship hall this week), it was just Aron and Henley, Toby and Lindy, and Trissy and me left, and we had a good conversation standing, 'on our way out the door', for about half an hour. We talked about the difficulties of trying to sell hand-made crafts in this area, mission trip preparations, concern over Randy, who seems to be going through a strange rough spell, missing Bro. Dennis teaching our college Sunday School class, gladness that Justice is planning to start it back up again, missing Bro. Mike, etc.
It had been Trissy's and my turn to cook, and as we were all getting ready to leave, Aron told Trissy he would take our big tote basket full of food and dishes out to my car for us. I already had it, but must have missed his offer - I'd just remembered we needed to turn off the lights before we left - and hurriedly swung back around to go flip the switch in the hallway. Aron grabbed my jacket sleeve to slow me down as Trissy called to get my attention. As I laughingly handed the big basket over, Aron grinned and said, "Kyrie, you have two speeds: 'fast' and 'wide open'!"
I love my friends so much! It was a hard day, but the Lord blessed me with this nice evening - I'm so thankful for His kindness.
Every Sunday I think it will be okay, that all the other wonderful people the Lord has blessed me with at Victory Rd. will fill my heart and thoughts.
I try not to talk about it much. I don't want people to misunderstand and get the wrong idea about how I feel about him. But my college friends at Victory Rd. are like family to me - almost literally. I've never had such a large set of close, wonderful friends my own age like I have had the past four years in this group. I've always wished I had more brothers and sisters, especially brothers, and especially brothers my age, or older. This group has done much to fill that void. I love all the guys. Each one holds a special unique place in my heart. But Archer and Austin are different somehow. I don't love them more than I love the others, but I love them differently. I feel toward them like I always imagined I'd feel towards my real brother if I had one. Of all the guys, these two are closest to being my 'brothers'.
So, I miss my brother. It's similar to how I felt 2009-2010 when Austin was gone on that almost-a-year-long mission trip to a country hostile to the Gospel. But, he was gone on a mission trip, which made it more bearable. And the plan was for him to be back in a few months. We e-mailed him back and forth all the time. And we Skyped him nearly every Sunday morning before church. When he came back, things fell back into the old comfortable familiarity, and life felt 'right' again.
Archer's just gone.
This morning was really good and really hard, both. Austin played acoustic guitar for the music service, and it was bringing back memories of the couple of months last year (or was it the year before?) when he was playing acoustic and Archer played bass. But no one could ever hear the bass, and Archer wouldn't turn it up or play louder, so finally Bro. Dennis recruited Law to play bass, put Archer on acoustic, and Austin on electric. Perfect. Bro. Dennis even said, 'Why haven't we done this before?'
But then those thoughts also brought back the pain of the fact that Bro. Dennis isn't the music minister anymore. And one of the songs we sang this morning was one Mrs. Renae always sang so wonderfully. I was in the choir of course, and it was so hard to get through that one.
And after church I heard someone discussing the progress of the fix-up work on the house Bro. Mike's family lived in, in preparation for Bro. Nick and Lydia and their family to move in.
Victory Rd.'s face is changing. Trent, one of the younger boys in the youth group, plays acoustic guitar with us on Wednesday nights in Archer's place. He's a nice kid, and a talented guitarist. Bro. Nick's family is settling in and becoming a part of us. In preparation for moving on to wherever the Lord will have him and Noel go, Justice stepped down as teacher of our college Sunday School class, it was put on hold until a new teacher could be found, and the members have scattered into other classes for the time being. In fact, our first Sunday to go to different classes was Bro. Mike's family's and Archer's last one at Victory Rd (Jan. 13).
So my little corner of the world at Victory Rd. now looks very different from what it did a year ago - that time being a sample of what I consider some of the best, most wonderful, and most 'growing' times of my life.
And gradually, I think I'm painfully getting used to it. But it almost seems like getting used to an amputation. I've never had an amputation, and I in no way pretend to understand that actual, physical type of pain. Yet, I almost feel like I've gone through something similar. I keep functioning, but parts of my life are gone. The scar is healing over, but there are blank empty spots where vital parts used to be, and sometimes I find myself cruelly and suddenly re-awakened to the fact that they aren't there anymore. Like that song Mrs. Renae used to sing. It was so unexpected, and I nearly lost control of my emotions, right there in the choir in front of everybody. Or seeing Austin playing his heart out and looking over, and there being only an empty space of carpet where Archer used to stand and do the same. Or asking Bro. Dennis a question and, in his answer, realizing I hadn't heard his voice speaking directly to me in literally months, when I used to be the constant brunt of his good-natured wit and jokes. Or hearing someone say something mildly critical of Bro. Mike's family, and thinking how unfair and inconsiderate it was.
And yet life moves on anyway, and there are good things happening too.
1) Aron's cousin's husband recently realized he feels like the Lord is leading him to preach, and Bro. Earl had him preach the morning sermon today. He spoke on leadership, the Old-Testament transition from Elijah to Elisha, and did very well for his first sermon!
2) Law is constantly surprising me with how he is growing in his Christian walk. It's almost as if, around the first of the year, a switch was flipped, and since then it's been slow, steady, constant progress. Watching his attitude and peace and growth has been the single greatest encouragement to me during these recent hard times of change. Oh how I praise the Lord! I think I understand a little of how the apostle John felt when he wrote, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." (3 John 1:4) Oh how thankful! Oh how thankful I am!!
3) There are four babies being added to the church in the fall, three of them coming to families among our college group. Aron and Henley, Aron's cousin and her husband, and Justice and Noel. Praise the Lord!
4) My JV kids on Wednesday nights are such a blessing. Some are just silly and don't seem to care really. Yet I'm glad they are at church instead of off getting into mischief. Many of them though, truly seem to desire to learn and grow more. As time has come along, my thought of, "What am I doing here?!" at the first of the school year when the class started, has changed to, "These kids have so much potential - Lord, help me help them!" The questions they ask, the things they remember, their searching longing, and the discussions we have during small-group time, and Ava and Ashlyn's support as my 'assistant group leaders' have been such blessings.
5) I'm enjoying my Wednesday-afternoon weekly discipleship sessions with Joy so much. She is such a sweet girl with so much potential. We've only had three so far (we missed one week since we started), but I have great hopes for the future. How I pray that the Lord would use these times to grow us both!
6) Tuesday night music practices are again one of the highlights of my week. No, Archer is not there anymore, but the others still are, and the young man who has taken his place is willing, talented, good-natured, and brings his own unique 'flavor' to the group. I try not to think of him as 'Archer's replacement' (just as I try not to think of Bro. Nick's family as 'Bro. Mike's family's replacement'), but as himself. When I do that, I really enjoy the new dynamics. The way some of the other members of the group have pulled together, stepped up, taken up the slack, and bravely kept on and not given up has been such a blessing and encouragement. Things threatened to fall apart there for a couple of weeks - I mean, Archer was our leader! - but various members have shifted responsibilities so they could take a little of his, we've 'kept our chin up', so to speak, and I think we're settling in to a 'new normal'.
7) And all the dear people who have not left. My merciful heavenly Friend has seen fit to leave to me so many of my precious earthly friends. Justice and Noel are still here, for the time being - they feel the Lord may soon be directing them to a different place of service. Austin and Ava are still here, for the time being - Austin is seeking a full-time music ministry position. Toby and Lindy are still here, for the time being - after their wedding this summer, they will probably end up as missionaries in a Latin country; a mutual love for missions and Spanish-speaking people are probably their biggest passions. Aron and Henley and little Timothy are still here. Aron's cousin and her family. Autumn, Julia and her parents, Law, Abigail, Piper, and Bro. and Mrs. S., Nicole and her husband and parents and little brother, Bro. Earl and Mrs. Shannen, my 'brown-eyed boy', Simon, Joy, and their parents, Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie and little Maxwell, and so many others.
"There will always be someone..."
~
Sunday night edit: So, at our Sunday night college supper after church, Justice told us that he and Noel are going to be sticking around for a while. The Sunday School class is going to start up again, and he's going to teach it. He (and Noel said the same thing later) said that it just seems like the Lord keeps closing doors that they thought they might be supposed to go through, and so they'll just stay on here until they feel they have a clear calling to go somewhere else. They're planning to buy a house, and he's planning on finishing up school.
So, we get to keep them a little longer.
Wow. Oh how thankful I am! My Lord is so merciful!
After everyone else had left (the supper was held in the church's fellowship hall this week), it was just Aron and Henley, Toby and Lindy, and Trissy and me left, and we had a good conversation standing, 'on our way out the door', for about half an hour. We talked about the difficulties of trying to sell hand-made crafts in this area, mission trip preparations, concern over Randy, who seems to be going through a strange rough spell, missing Bro. Dennis teaching our college Sunday School class, gladness that Justice is planning to start it back up again, missing Bro. Mike, etc.
It had been Trissy's and my turn to cook, and as we were all getting ready to leave, Aron told Trissy he would take our big tote basket full of food and dishes out to my car for us. I already had it, but must have missed his offer - I'd just remembered we needed to turn off the lights before we left - and hurriedly swung back around to go flip the switch in the hallway. Aron grabbed my jacket sleeve to slow me down as Trissy called to get my attention. As I laughingly handed the big basket over, Aron grinned and said, "Kyrie, you have two speeds: 'fast' and 'wide open'!"
I love my friends so much! It was a hard day, but the Lord blessed me with this nice evening - I'm so thankful for His kindness.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Birthday Gift - Birthday Weight
On my birthday recently, Mrs. S., Abigail, and Piper came over for a couple of hours. They'd asked the Sunday before if they could, and I'd so been looking forward to it!
A polite knock sounded at the front door, and Trissy, though she was practically there, stepped back and motioned for me to get it.
I swung the door wide, and there stood the three S. ladies: Mrs. S. on the top step at the door, Piper on a step below her - holding a plate of chocolate chip cookies and a small brown paper bag tied with beige ribbon - and Abigail with a red paper sign and a bulging black garbage bag standing in the grass at the bottom of the steps. As the door opened, they all called, "Happy Birthday!!", Piper waving and Abigail holding up the red paper sign with my name on it.
I invited them in, giving and receiving hugs as they filed by into the warm house.
They'd made the cookies, and Piper stressed that I was not to return the plate - it was for me too :) . It's a lovely ceramic fall plate, with a simple painted design of a red maple leaf, a yellow oak leaf, and a cluster of orange pecan leaves, and the word, "Thankful" in gold across the center. They know me so well.
The small brown paper bag was a late birthday present for Trissy - a nice paperweight with a redbird on it, and a lovely little round pop-open pocket mirror that has a colorful and intricate mandala design on the lid.
The red paper sign was designed and made by Abigail, using red paper, navy paper, and white star stickers. She had doodled my name in marker in the center, framed it with popsicle sticks marker-colored dark blue, and hung it with a red white and blue ribbon. On the back she wrote me a *letter I will always treasure. So perfect - handmade and patriotic.
The big garbage bag had me quite curious. Abigail lifted it easily over the back of the couch as Mrs. S. explained that it was an idea they'd seen online - blow up the number of balloons as birthday years, and put a note to the birthday person in each balloon. They've got to pop the balloons to get the notes. What a meaningful gift!
We all sat on the couch or in the chairs of the living room. Mom and Mrs. S. chatted as I began taking balloons out of the bag. I winced as I popped each one with a pearl-headed corsage pin Mom found me, and silently read the notes inside.
There were notes from Julia, Julia's mom, Autumn, Henley, Joy, Mr. S., Mrs. S., and many from Abigail and Piper - one note for each year of my life. Piper said Archer had wanted to write one also, but just forgot and then didn't have time before leaving for work that morning. They had wanted to get alot more people in the church to write some of them, but had run out of time and opportunities.
Each note warmed my heart, and sobered my conscience. Some showed insight into myself that I didn't know other people had noticed. All said something about my life and character and how it had touched others.
What a gift.
What a weight.
Oh how I desire these things to be true!! As I took out each bit of colored paper and read each message of love and affirmation, what a monumental responsibility I felt and realized that I have that I must live up to! How I pray that God would help me be worthy of the love and respect of these dear dear friends. May He give me grace to never let them down, and wisdom to be a friend and influence that would always point them to Him.
*Note: I decided to record here the letter from Abigail on the back of the sign she made me. Words of love from a teen-age heart. Such an encouragement. Such a challenge. Such a treasure. I want to always remember.
"Happy birthday Kyrie!!!
I hope this is the BEST birthday EVER!! You are so special to my family and I! I love how you always have a smile on your face, and how you bring smiles to everyone elses face! =)
Everything you do, I see Jesus in it! You make me want to be a better person!
Thank you for always being there for me, and I will always be there for you! <3
Love you lots and lots <3
Your friend,
Abigail S."
A polite knock sounded at the front door, and Trissy, though she was practically there, stepped back and motioned for me to get it.
I swung the door wide, and there stood the three S. ladies: Mrs. S. on the top step at the door, Piper on a step below her - holding a plate of chocolate chip cookies and a small brown paper bag tied with beige ribbon - and Abigail with a red paper sign and a bulging black garbage bag standing in the grass at the bottom of the steps. As the door opened, they all called, "Happy Birthday!!", Piper waving and Abigail holding up the red paper sign with my name on it.
I invited them in, giving and receiving hugs as they filed by into the warm house.
They'd made the cookies, and Piper stressed that I was not to return the plate - it was for me too :) . It's a lovely ceramic fall plate, with a simple painted design of a red maple leaf, a yellow oak leaf, and a cluster of orange pecan leaves, and the word, "Thankful" in gold across the center. They know me so well.
The small brown paper bag was a late birthday present for Trissy - a nice paperweight with a redbird on it, and a lovely little round pop-open pocket mirror that has a colorful and intricate mandala design on the lid.
The red paper sign was designed and made by Abigail, using red paper, navy paper, and white star stickers. She had doodled my name in marker in the center, framed it with popsicle sticks marker-colored dark blue, and hung it with a red white and blue ribbon. On the back she wrote me a *letter I will always treasure. So perfect - handmade and patriotic.
The big garbage bag had me quite curious. Abigail lifted it easily over the back of the couch as Mrs. S. explained that it was an idea they'd seen online - blow up the number of balloons as birthday years, and put a note to the birthday person in each balloon. They've got to pop the balloons to get the notes. What a meaningful gift!
We all sat on the couch or in the chairs of the living room. Mom and Mrs. S. chatted as I began taking balloons out of the bag. I winced as I popped each one with a pearl-headed corsage pin Mom found me, and silently read the notes inside.
There were notes from Julia, Julia's mom, Autumn, Henley, Joy, Mr. S., Mrs. S., and many from Abigail and Piper - one note for each year of my life. Piper said Archer had wanted to write one also, but just forgot and then didn't have time before leaving for work that morning. They had wanted to get alot more people in the church to write some of them, but had run out of time and opportunities.
Each note warmed my heart, and sobered my conscience. Some showed insight into myself that I didn't know other people had noticed. All said something about my life and character and how it had touched others.
What a gift.
What a weight.
Oh how I desire these things to be true!! As I took out each bit of colored paper and read each message of love and affirmation, what a monumental responsibility I felt and realized that I have that I must live up to! How I pray that God would help me be worthy of the love and respect of these dear dear friends. May He give me grace to never let them down, and wisdom to be a friend and influence that would always point them to Him.
*Note: I decided to record here the letter from Abigail on the back of the sign she made me. Words of love from a teen-age heart. Such an encouragement. Such a challenge. Such a treasure. I want to always remember.
"Happy birthday Kyrie!!!
I hope this is the BEST birthday EVER!! You are so special to my family and I! I love how you always have a smile on your face, and how you bring smiles to everyone elses face! =)
Everything you do, I see Jesus in it! You make me want to be a better person!
Thank you for always being there for me, and I will always be there for you! <3
Love you lots and lots <3
Your friend,
Abigail S."
Friday, July 6, 2012
"5 Small Things Friday" No. 40
Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".
For this week, here is my list:
1. Sight: 'Blue Sunday'
2. Hearing: Sunday Morning Music Service
3. Smell: Fireworks
4. Taste: Watermelon
5. Touch:
The stories behind the list:
1. In Sunday School this past week, Trissy and Autumn were the only ones that did not have on a blue shirt or top. When class was over and we went to sing, every musician and music leader, except the piano player (and not everyone in the choir), had on a blue shirt. I looked out from the choir over the congregation, and probably 1/4 to 1/3 of them had on blue tops! It was hilarious! I've started calling it the "Blue Sunday".
2. Sunday morning's music service was again a special blessing this week. Each song in the selection was a special one, from toe-tapping Southern Gospel hymns, to the excellent new prayer-like song, "10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord)". Some of my personal favorites too :) .
3. After class Wednesday night, a bunch of the gang went over to Aron and Henley's to shoot off fireworks. It was a nice time of relaxation and fellowship. Another church family had come out too, and it was fun to watch the kids get so excited about the fireworks! After shooting off 20 or so, the air had that particular fireworks smell.
4. Mom's sister and her family came over for a few days' visit, and we enjoyed that rare treat. The whole family came: Mom's sister and brother-in-law, and their grown daughter, her husband, and their two little kids. They bought a watermelon the day before they left since they weren't actually going to be here on the fourth of July. Oh my, that was so sweet and wonderful!
5.
Friday, June 29, 2012
"5 Small Things Friday" No. 39
Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".
For this week, here is my list:
1. Sight: Bobby's Fur
2. Hearing: Wren
3. Smell: Petrichor
4. Taste: Henley's Gumbo
5. Touch: Wind
The stories behind the list:
1. I was outside yesterday doing some yard work and being followed around by our three cats. After my work, I sat down in our open garage to pet them for a few minutes and cool off before I went inside. I was struck again by the beauty in Bobby's fur. Bobby is just a cat, but he still praises his Creator simply by displaying the Lord's creativity. Bobby has a beautiful orange and rust striped coat, with bright pure white splashes on his face, chest, and paws. The richness of the orange stripes and the purity of the bright white are so striking. The Lord is so detailed and creative in the design of even His simplest creatures.
2. Several times this week I've been outside and heard the jaunty trilling of a cheeky little wren. I was afraid our cats had driven off the wrens, and it was so good to hear the cheerful little voice.
3. I learned a new word recently, and it is becoming one of my favorites: "Petrichor". Petrichor is the smell outside after it rains. One of my most favorite smells in the world. Sunday night we had a tiny shower, but it still made the earth smell refreshed and cool.
4. Last night dear Henley made gumbo and brought it to Bible Study to share. I'm ususally not a gumbo person, but that gumbo was exeptionally good! She also brought sweet tea, and Henley's sweet tea is probably the best I've ever had.
5. Tuesday and Wednesday I worked on mowing our big yard. I love to mow! The only thing is, we have the kind of earmuffs that are hard against your ears and head. So by the time I got close to finishing the yard, my head was sore and my ears felt pinched and hot. I took the earmuffs off for the last few minutes, and the little breeze that was blowing felt deliciously cool and sweet against my poor little ears :) !
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Thursday Night College Bible Study Ups And Downs
Wow. So our Thursday Night College-age Bible Study has been through alot since it's beginning approximately three years ago. Started off a little slow, but then began to pick up momentum, and for a couple of years, it only got better and better as the months went on. We had great victories, times of learning and sharing, and bonding as a group of between fifteen and twenty. We had downs too, times of discouragement and disappointment, but we always grew from it, and the Lord always helped us bounce back; if not in numbers, in quality of friendships and deep learning of Him.
Then last year, for various reasons, a slow slump seemed to start setting in, and at the beginning of this year we began shrinking by leaps and bounds. By last month, it was down to five people.
I've struggled with it quite a bit. More than I've let on to others. I love our Thursday night Bible study. In that class I've learned so much, loved so much, hurt, grown, talked alot, and hopefully listened more. My mind has been opened to concepts I'd never even thought about, though I've been raised on the Bible, and been to church all my life. I feel like my dependence on, love for, and awe of the Lord has increased exponentially because of that class. Not to mention the precious people I've spent this close fellowship with, nearly every week for three years, who have become more dear to me than I can express, though I sometimes try. I mourned to see the group crumbling around the edges. But it was when pieces started dropping out of the core that it broke my heart. Dear Aron, Henley, and also Austin, have been faithfully keeping on, leading us forward, trying to plan with their hope and eyes on future re-invigoration.
But I know they must be discouraged.
In our last couple of meetings a few weeks ago, we decided to change things up a little, and start dividing into two groups (male and female), doing studies specific to each group. So that we could still have the group fellowship and interaction, we'd meet together for the first fifteen or twenty minutes, divide up to do our studies for about an hour, then meet back again for the last fifteen or so minutes and have a group prayer time together.
I honestly had no idea how that would work. I mean, there were five of us. Aron and Henley were hoping the new plan would encourage some of the new high-school seniors and others to start coming, who might be a little intimidated by a group, but would enjoy being part of a smaller just-men or just-ladies group. But though I tried to be hopeful for their sakes, I must admit I was inwardly very skeptical. I'm still not sure about it, but after tonight, I'm definitely encouraged.
After having Bible School three weeks ago, and being in *Illinois for two Thursdays (Bible Study was canceled those days), today I was SO looking forward to being back at Bible Study on a Thursday night, no matter how discouraged I was!
We've been so busy today, and with only a few minutes until we needed to leave for town, I called to Trissy to make sure she was getting ready. She came slowly into my room where I was making a mad dash for my Bible and a hairbrush, and told me she'd decided not to go tonight. All I could think was, "Poor Aron and Henley." But I didn't have time to question her, so I just went on alone. When I got there, the only other vehicle was Aron and Henley's truck, but when I went around the corner of the building, found that door locked, and came back around to go in another one, Justice and Noel's vehicle was there! I was so excited! They hadn't been to Bible Study since they moved back!
I went upstairs to the youth room where we meet, and found not only Aron, Henley, baby Timothy, Justice, and Noel, but also Randy, Law, and Simon!! At first I thought maybe Law and Simon had just been there to play their instruments together for a while, and would leave, but it soon became evident they meant to stay. In just a few minutes, Bro. Mike came in too.
The evening went really well. And this was just the first night trying this new set-up. But to see those new faces, and to have long-absent old members back with us, was a boost and encouragement I cannot describe.
I don't know what the future of the class is, but I believe the Lord can and will still do great things with it. I hope the boys stay, and that some of the other members will come back, and that we can reach out to new ones. But above all, I hope we that are there, will learn more, live richer, and grow deeper in our lives for Christ.
*More on that in another post.
Then last year, for various reasons, a slow slump seemed to start setting in, and at the beginning of this year we began shrinking by leaps and bounds. By last month, it was down to five people.
I've struggled with it quite a bit. More than I've let on to others. I love our Thursday night Bible study. In that class I've learned so much, loved so much, hurt, grown, talked alot, and hopefully listened more. My mind has been opened to concepts I'd never even thought about, though I've been raised on the Bible, and been to church all my life. I feel like my dependence on, love for, and awe of the Lord has increased exponentially because of that class. Not to mention the precious people I've spent this close fellowship with, nearly every week for three years, who have become more dear to me than I can express, though I sometimes try. I mourned to see the group crumbling around the edges. But it was when pieces started dropping out of the core that it broke my heart. Dear Aron, Henley, and also Austin, have been faithfully keeping on, leading us forward, trying to plan with their hope and eyes on future re-invigoration.
But I know they must be discouraged.
In our last couple of meetings a few weeks ago, we decided to change things up a little, and start dividing into two groups (male and female), doing studies specific to each group. So that we could still have the group fellowship and interaction, we'd meet together for the first fifteen or twenty minutes, divide up to do our studies for about an hour, then meet back again for the last fifteen or so minutes and have a group prayer time together.
I honestly had no idea how that would work. I mean, there were five of us. Aron and Henley were hoping the new plan would encourage some of the new high-school seniors and others to start coming, who might be a little intimidated by a group, but would enjoy being part of a smaller just-men or just-ladies group. But though I tried to be hopeful for their sakes, I must admit I was inwardly very skeptical. I'm still not sure about it, but after tonight, I'm definitely encouraged.
After having Bible School three weeks ago, and being in *Illinois for two Thursdays (Bible Study was canceled those days), today I was SO looking forward to being back at Bible Study on a Thursday night, no matter how discouraged I was!
We've been so busy today, and with only a few minutes until we needed to leave for town, I called to Trissy to make sure she was getting ready. She came slowly into my room where I was making a mad dash for my Bible and a hairbrush, and told me she'd decided not to go tonight. All I could think was, "Poor Aron and Henley." But I didn't have time to question her, so I just went on alone. When I got there, the only other vehicle was Aron and Henley's truck, but when I went around the corner of the building, found that door locked, and came back around to go in another one, Justice and Noel's vehicle was there! I was so excited! They hadn't been to Bible Study since they moved back!
I went upstairs to the youth room where we meet, and found not only Aron, Henley, baby Timothy, Justice, and Noel, but also Randy, Law, and Simon!! At first I thought maybe Law and Simon had just been there to play their instruments together for a while, and would leave, but it soon became evident they meant to stay. In just a few minutes, Bro. Mike came in too.
The evening went really well. And this was just the first night trying this new set-up. But to see those new faces, and to have long-absent old members back with us, was a boost and encouragement I cannot describe.
I don't know what the future of the class is, but I believe the Lord can and will still do great things with it. I hope the boys stay, and that some of the other members will come back, and that we can reach out to new ones. But above all, I hope we that are there, will learn more, live richer, and grow deeper in our lives for Christ.
*More on that in another post.
Friday, May 18, 2012
"5 Small Things Friday" No. 33
Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".
For this week, here is my list:
1. Sight: A Gold-laced Sunset
2. Hearing: After-class Wednesday Night Prayer Time
3. Smell: Gardenia Bush
4. Taste: Henley's Peanut-butter-cup-chip Chocolate Cookies
5. Touch: Ava's Engagement Ring
The stories behind the list:
1. I'm not usually a big fan of sunsets. I prefer sunrises. Beginnings, not endings, I guess. But this week I witnessed a sunset that absolutely took my breath away. I was on my way back to our house one evening (don't remember where I'd been... probably music practice), and as I passed a field close to where we live, I looked over at the setting sun, and it was dazzling. The sun was just behind the top edge of a spreading group of dusky blue clouds, but it's rays were reaching up and turning the long stretch of the upper edge of the clouds a shimmering gold. That's really what it looked like - gold with the light shining on it. The picture was gorgeous. That stretching expanse of dark green field, and those slate-blue, billowy-textured clouds, trimmed in brilliant golden lace.
2. After class on Wednesday nights, we always have a prayer time for whoever would like to stay and participate. It usually ends up being a group of the college kids. But what sweet times we've had! Treasured memories of those earnest voices, lifted to the Lord in thanks and/or supplication. Seldom have I felt my love for my friends so strongly, as when I hear them pray.
3. Our gardenia bush is blooming. The sweet summery smell sweeps me off my feet every time I pass that part of the yard.
4. Dear Henley made cookies for our Thursday night college Bible study class last night. They were chocolate cookies, with peanut-butter chips in them. Henley is a good cook anyway, but these cookies were exceptional!
5. Austin had Ava's engagement ring at church Sunday night at the college supper, so that whoever wanted to see it could, before he gave it to her. Mom thought it was cheating Ava just a little - the gang getting to see it before she did, when it was for her. But I thought it was neat - our college group is very close, we're each others' brothers and sisters in a sense, and he was including us in this landmark time of his life.
The ring is beautiful - a dainty style, the main diamond set in the center of a smooth-cornered square of other tiny diamonds. Ava loves sapphires, and one of the reasons Austin picked this ring is because under the diamonds (you can only see it if you look at the ring from the side instead of the top), a sapphire is hidden.
A special significance, from him to her.
Monday, March 19, 2012
A Typical Week
Just for fun, and because life is always changing, I thought I'd record a rough schedule/description of what a typical week in my life is like right now. Of course there are variations from day to day and week to week, but below is a 'skeleton schedule' if you will, of my weeks at this point in my life.
Monday -
Chores and helping Mom, then if all the chores are done, free time (crafting, internet time, etc.) until time to get lunch. After lunch, clean up, then finishing chores if they weren't finished in the morning, and (if there's time) a short 'power nap' until time to leave for work. Off for town by 2:30, to get to the school by 3:00. Work at VRCA after-school from 3:00 'til 5:30. After leaving work and dropping off the other after-school worker (whose car is out of commission right now) at her house, go to meet Dad, Mom, and Trissy at 6:30 at our Hispanic friend's house for Bible study with her and her three young children, until 7:30. Supper, and family or free time until bed, around 9:00.
Tuesday -
Chores, random duties, and project or free time until lunch. Get lunch ready and on, eat, clean up. Then same as morning until around 5:00. Try to exercise with Dad and/or Trissy sometime during the day. Get ready to go to music practice with the youth music group at the church. Leave for town at 5:30. Music practice at 6:00. Ending time varies, depending on if we are learning a new song, and how hard it is, but we typically get done between 7:00 and 7:30. Back to the house, supper and family or free time until bed.
Wednesday -
Pretty much the same as Monday, except after work, I head over to Victory Rd. for Wednesday night church. At 6:00, the youth music group runs through the night's music again, and has prayer asking the Lord's blessing on our playing and singing. Music, then class from 6:30 until 8:00. Youth prayer meeting after class is over, ending anywhere from 8:45 to 9:30. Trissy and I don't always get to stay though. Head back to the house, supper and family or free time until bed.
Thursday -
Off to town early enough to pick up the pastor's (of the church The Grandparents attend) twin sons and get to the church by 7:00 for Thursday morning devotional breakfast. After breakfast, usually Mom has given us a Wal*Mart list, and we go grocery shopping, trying to get back to the house as early as possible. The rest of the morning and afternoon are pretty much the same as Tuesday, until about 5:30. Then eat a light snack or supper and get ready to leave at 6:00 for Thursday night college Bible Study at 6:30. Bible study from approximately 6:30 until approximately 8:00. Head back to the house, supper and family or free time until bed.
Friday -
Pretty much just like Monday and Wednesday, except that after work I leave town. Friday night is 'Family Night' and we usually spend supper and the evening up at The Grandparents' house. Alot of times we'll have a country 'breakfast-for-supper' supper, like grits, scrambled eggs, home-made biscuits and gravy or jelly, bacon or sausage, or waffles and peanut butter and syrup. After cleaning up the kitchen, we'll usually listen to an audio, watch a movie, or someone will read a book out loud to the rest until about 9:00. Help The Grandparents to bed, then back to our house down the lane at about 9:30, and to bed as soon as possible.
Saturday -
Pretty much just like Tuesday and Thursday, except don't go anywhere unless it's a random event. Try to have Sunday dinner done, or at least well on it's way.
Sunday -
Get up moving quickly if I didn't get my clothes laid out and ironed the night before. If they don't have to be ironed, and if we don't have to cook or finish cooking Sunday dinner, get to stay in bed a little later than other mornings. Home-made milkshakes for breakfast - quick, healthy, and super yummy - and out the door as close to 9:00 as possible, to get to Victory Rd. for Sunday School at 9:30. Stop to help The Grandparents to their church on our way to Victory Rd.
Sunday School from 9:30 to 10:30. Music service from about 10:45 until about 11:20. Preaching until 12:00. Stand around and chat with people after services if we have a few minutes, but The Grandparents are usually out of their services and waiting on us to help get lunch. Go up to The Grandparents for lunch. Usually done and cleaned up by about 1:45 or 2:00. Back to the house for a Sunday afternoon nap. Trissy and I get up about 3:30 to eat a snack and head back to the church at 4:00 for choir practice at 4:30. Choir practice until about 5:30. Dad and Mom get to the church about 5:40. Evening church services from 5:45 until about 7:00. Get to do more visiting with people after church in the evening than in the morning. Trissy and I head over to either Aron and Henley's or another young couple's house for the college-age Sunday night supper/fellowship. The whole group is paired up, and each week is another pair's turn to provide supper for everyone. We rotate around and it's alot cheaper than going out to eat, and we still get to have supper together every Sunday night! Aron and Henley and the other young couple (Aron's cousin and her husband) take turns hosting it, since they have their own houses. Usually everyone disperses between 8:00 and 9:00.
And so ends a week full of adventures, disappointments, surprises, wonderful blessings, and whatever else makes up life.
Monday -
Chores and helping Mom, then if all the chores are done, free time (crafting, internet time, etc.) until time to get lunch. After lunch, clean up, then finishing chores if they weren't finished in the morning, and (if there's time) a short 'power nap' until time to leave for work. Off for town by 2:30, to get to the school by 3:00. Work at VRCA after-school from 3:00 'til 5:30. After leaving work and dropping off the other after-school worker (whose car is out of commission right now) at her house, go to meet Dad, Mom, and Trissy at 6:30 at our Hispanic friend's house for Bible study with her and her three young children, until 7:30. Supper, and family or free time until bed, around 9:00.
Tuesday -
Chores, random duties, and project or free time until lunch. Get lunch ready and on, eat, clean up. Then same as morning until around 5:00. Try to exercise with Dad and/or Trissy sometime during the day. Get ready to go to music practice with the youth music group at the church. Leave for town at 5:30. Music practice at 6:00. Ending time varies, depending on if we are learning a new song, and how hard it is, but we typically get done between 7:00 and 7:30. Back to the house, supper and family or free time until bed.
Wednesday -
Pretty much the same as Monday, except after work, I head over to Victory Rd. for Wednesday night church. At 6:00, the youth music group runs through the night's music again, and has prayer asking the Lord's blessing on our playing and singing. Music, then class from 6:30 until 8:00. Youth prayer meeting after class is over, ending anywhere from 8:45 to 9:30. Trissy and I don't always get to stay though. Head back to the house, supper and family or free time until bed.
Thursday -
Off to town early enough to pick up the pastor's (of the church The Grandparents attend) twin sons and get to the church by 7:00 for Thursday morning devotional breakfast. After breakfast, usually Mom has given us a Wal*Mart list, and we go grocery shopping, trying to get back to the house as early as possible. The rest of the morning and afternoon are pretty much the same as Tuesday, until about 5:30. Then eat a light snack or supper and get ready to leave at 6:00 for Thursday night college Bible Study at 6:30. Bible study from approximately 6:30 until approximately 8:00. Head back to the house, supper and family or free time until bed.
Friday -
Pretty much just like Monday and Wednesday, except that after work I leave town. Friday night is 'Family Night' and we usually spend supper and the evening up at The Grandparents' house. Alot of times we'll have a country 'breakfast-for-supper' supper, like grits, scrambled eggs, home-made biscuits and gravy or jelly, bacon or sausage, or waffles and peanut butter and syrup. After cleaning up the kitchen, we'll usually listen to an audio, watch a movie, or someone will read a book out loud to the rest until about 9:00. Help The Grandparents to bed, then back to our house down the lane at about 9:30, and to bed as soon as possible.
Saturday -
Pretty much just like Tuesday and Thursday, except don't go anywhere unless it's a random event. Try to have Sunday dinner done, or at least well on it's way.
Sunday -
Get up moving quickly if I didn't get my clothes laid out and ironed the night before. If they don't have to be ironed, and if we don't have to cook or finish cooking Sunday dinner, get to stay in bed a little later than other mornings. Home-made milkshakes for breakfast - quick, healthy, and super yummy - and out the door as close to 9:00 as possible, to get to Victory Rd. for Sunday School at 9:30. Stop to help The Grandparents to their church on our way to Victory Rd.
Sunday School from 9:30 to 10:30. Music service from about 10:45 until about 11:20. Preaching until 12:00. Stand around and chat with people after services if we have a few minutes, but The Grandparents are usually out of their services and waiting on us to help get lunch. Go up to The Grandparents for lunch. Usually done and cleaned up by about 1:45 or 2:00. Back to the house for a Sunday afternoon nap. Trissy and I get up about 3:30 to eat a snack and head back to the church at 4:00 for choir practice at 4:30. Choir practice until about 5:30. Dad and Mom get to the church about 5:40. Evening church services from 5:45 until about 7:00. Get to do more visiting with people after church in the evening than in the morning. Trissy and I head over to either Aron and Henley's or another young couple's house for the college-age Sunday night supper/fellowship. The whole group is paired up, and each week is another pair's turn to provide supper for everyone. We rotate around and it's alot cheaper than going out to eat, and we still get to have supper together every Sunday night! Aron and Henley and the other young couple (Aron's cousin and her husband) take turns hosting it, since they have their own houses. Usually everyone disperses between 8:00 and 9:00.
And so ends a week full of adventures, disappointments, surprises, wonderful blessings, and whatever else makes up life.
Friday, March 2, 2012
"5 Small Things Friday" No. 22
Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".
For this week, here is my list:
1. Sight: Clouds And Kids At VRCA
2. Hearing: First Practice With The Youth Music Group
3. Smell: Burnt Squash
4. Taste: Frosted Mini Wheats
5. Touch: Going Barefoot On Our Carpet
The stories behind the list:
1. At after-school Wednesday, I was outside with the kids, and I believe it was one of them that noticed and pointed out the majestic-ness of the huge clouds moving slowly across the sky overhead. The afternoon sun shining through the trees at the edge of the school yard also shone gloriously through the spaces in the great clouds, making them brilliant shades of silver, gray, and pure white, and gilding the edges with dazzling gold. The kids as they stood still, play forgotten, mesmerized by the beautiful sight and staring up at the sky with gaping mouths and curious eyes, were as wonderful to see as the clouds themselves.
2. Well, Tuesday was the fulfillment of a long-held, but contentedly-suppressed dream of mine: To play keyboard for/with our group of young musicians at the church, who play for the young people's class on Wednesday nights (and for the Sunday morning service on the first Sunday of the month after a "5th Sunday").
Andrea had to have surgery to fix an ankle injury, and this past Thursday instead of having our college-age Bible Study, we took the church van and went and visited her. Austin, Archer, Aron, Henley, and Timothy, and Trissy and I were the ones that went. Austin and Archer had bought a special cable to hook up her TV with a DVD player or something right beside her bed so she could watch it without having to bother her mom to come put on something for her. She was pretty thrilled :) . After the boys got it hooked up, we all sat or stood around in her little room for a while, watching the "Swamp People" show that was on, and chatting during commercials. During one, Austin turned to me and asked, "So what are you doing Tuesday night?" I thought for a minute, but couldn't think of anything that I knew of, and asked how come he was wondering. I had forgotten that the youth music group practiced on Tuesday nights. He asked if I'd like to come and play keyboard for them. Would I?! I said I'd love to, but I didn't know how to play chords, which I knew was what they needed. He and Archer (who was listening by this time) both said that was no big deal, I could learn, and they would help me along if I needed it. I thanked them and said I'd ask Dad and Mom and let them know.
I was thrilled! I'd been secretly wishing I could play with the group for a while, but 1) I knew I couldn't play chords, 2) I hadn't been invited, and 3) I enjoyed listening to them! and if I was playing, I'd be on that side of it instead. So I was satisfied where I was, and tried to give encouragement and support to them whenever I could. Now I was being given this honor, and even if Dad and Mom said no, I'd still have that warm feeling of knowing they had wanted me. But Dad and Mom said yes, and Tuesday night was my first practice! I spent a huge part of the day Monday looking up YouTube videos and chording music, trying to teach myself enough to get started, or so that I could at least ask intelligent questions if I needed to.
But it really wasn't that hard. I found an excellent, simple, instruction video on YouTube, learned the basic chords and how to read them, and got off to a good start with my keyboard chording education :) !
So Tuesday night rolled around, and I got to the church a little before time, just to make sure I'd be there on time! The boys set up the keyboard, and put me right in the center of the group. That turned out to be just perfect for me starting out. That way I had each of them right next to me, and it was pretty hard to get lost - I could just tilt my head one way or another and hear whichever instrument loud and clear that could help me keep on track.
Julia singing slightly ahead to my right, helped me keep my place and where we were in the song. Law and his bass guitar slightly behind to my right, picking each bass note strong so I could tell which chord I was supposed to be playing right then. Simon on the drums behind and on my left, helped me feel the timing. Archer strumming his acoustic guitar ahead to my left, led the rhythm and helped me feel when we were fixing to change chords. Austin directly in front of me, either picking on his electric guitar, singing, or playing his cajon (Pronounced, "kuh-HONE". It's a box drum.), filled in the spaces and kept everything together.
It was challenging, but not overwhelming, everything sounded really good, and I appreciated again the talent and great potential the Lord has given to these young people. When we said good night and I left, I felt like I was on cloud nine.
3. Bless her heart one of our family cooks (I won't name which one) fixed squash for our lunch Thursday, but it burnt. Not so bad that we couldn't eat it, but you could smell it. And it smelt for all the world like cigarette smoke! The whole house smelled like that for quite a while, and it brought back memories of sad classmates I had in college that would smell like that. It made me thankful that the Lord has blessed me with a family that doesn't smoke.
4. Thursday night coming in from College Bible Study I was so hungry, and I was going to spend the night with The Grandparents. Whenever I'm at their house and I'm hungry, all I want is cereal! Jaylyn and Jewel, y'all know what I'm talking about! The Grandmother is famous among the grandchildren for having a stash of various cereals that she keeps for us :) . Bless her heart! I came in Thursday night, and she sent me into the kitchen for a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats. They were SO good!
5. Our carpet is several years old and rather worn in spots, but Monday morning the weather was so fresh and cool (not cold) that I went barefoot all morning. That wonderful old carpet felt SO fluffy and soft under my feet!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
January Children's Ranch Mission Trip
The 2nd through the 7th, a group from Victory Rd. took a mission trip of sorts to a children's home and ranch in a near-by state. The home is for children who either are orphans, or are from homes where the parent(s) are not able to care for them, for various reasons. Victory Road has been involved in this ministry almost from the time it was started, and has provided the physical labor to help clear the land that the two houses (one for boys and one for girls) are built on. On this trip, we disassembled an old barn in order to reuse the lumber (a much more tedious job that you might think at first), and also did alot of brush-clearing and firewood chopping, loading, and stacking. This was also the first trip that Trissy and I have made to the ranch, though we've heard so much about it, it was already a dear place to us.
We had a total of 13 people go from the church, and Justice drove over from the state he and Noel live in now, and met us there. The Bible college where Oliver and Landon are is right in the same neighborhood as the ranch, so we enjoyed some rare time with them as well.
Of our church college friends I've written about over the years on this blog, the ones that were together for a few hours at the ranch were: Aron, Justice, Landon, Oliver, Russell, Lindy, Autumn, Trissy, and me. If Austin, Archer, Toby, Henley, Noel, Lora, and Camille had been able to come, the whole gang would have been together again - if only for a short time. As it was though, several of us mentioned how it seemed like old times again, especially with Justice, Landon, and Oliver there, who we see so rarely since they live out-of-state now.
Bro. Mike and his wife also went, as well as Aron's younger brother Simon, Archer's younger sister Abigail, another lady, another man, and 'my brown-eyed boy'.
'My brown-eyed boy'. I haven't mentioned him before. I don't really know why I think of him with that title, except that, 1) he has brown eyes (duh :) ) and 2) through his family's attendance at Victory Rd., but even more through my interaction with him because of my job at VRCA where he goes to school, I have had the privilege of becoming his friend. I feel toward him what I might feel toward a little brother. His father is unsaved and in the military, and so is gone overseas for months or years at a time. With his father's absence, 'my brown-eyed boy' has been forced to become the 'man of the house', in a sense. His mother is a very capable and sturdy lady (she is also a teacher at VRCA), but with his two younger brothers, there is plenty of weight that she has to share with his young shoulders.
He is in his later teens, and very capable, but without that strong Christian father figure in his life, he struggles. It seems at times that he swings between an overwhelming desire and effort to be the good strong man that would make his Christian friends and his father and mother proud, and the young boy whose teenage problems threaten to swallow him whole.
But I love that part of him that is trying so hard to become a Godly man. I thank the Lord that He has allowed me into the position of influencing this young man as an older friend. It's as if the Lord has given me a great burden for this boy, and has graciously allowed me to actually be part of helping him. For, for some strange reason, he seems to really respect me, value my opinion on different things, and almost seems to look to me as an older sibling, certainly as a friend.
With his dad being in the military, it came up a few weeks ago that they may have to move away from us and to another state farther up north. He seems to be taking it pretty hard, and several of us are praying that somehow they will be able to stay.
Several times in the past year, when there has been some project or mission-trip-fundraiser that the church has been involved in, I have been so impressed and thankful for how he has stepped up and been a responsible example, young gentleman, and hard worker. It's like he gets into 'beast mode' (as they say around here) and gets going so hard a freight train couldn't stop him! And boy, he really threw himself into the work on this trip!
I took minimal journal notes on the trip. Seeing as how we got up before the crack of dawn each morning to grab breakfast and be ready to get to work when the sun came up, then fell into bed dog-tired every night, besides all the fun and fellowship and goofing off with friends in between, I didn't have time to journal like I had wanted to. But I did record a few things each day. Thoughts, prayers, things to remember, and bits from the great devotionals Justice challenged us with each night in front of the fire.
Here they are, from my heart, to paper (or, "computer screen", I suppose is more accurate):
"Jan. 4, 2012 –
Prayers:
Dear God help my precious boys. Make Men of my boys! Help my brown-eyed boy now. He’s got so much on his young mind; so many changes, so many responsibilities, so many disappointments. I love my boys and girls so much!! Thank you for loving me. I could not love them or anyone or anything else, if You had not first shown me what love really is. Help me show my love in appropriate yet impacting ways. Help me to encourage my friends and those who look up to and expect so much from me. Help me to behave myself in appropriate ways, in integrity, in wisdom, in Godliness, so as to have the most influence and impact on these dear lives as possible for Your glory's sake.
Jan. 5, 2012 –
Things to remember:
'Bucket brigade' log loading. ATV-driving lessons from our resident sidekick, Russell, and 'my brown-eyed boy'. Driving an ATV and trailer for the first time (and, I might add, loaded down with logs and friends). Growing closer to brothers. So thankful for a kindred-spirit sister-friend (Lindy). Silly videoing. Learning everybody's middle names (or first names, as the case may be). Being silly with friends. Going Snipe hunting for the first time in my life.
Justice’s devotional – Drawing near to God:
The more you are willing to spend time with God, the more He will reveal Himself to you. The Father went to meet the prodigal son when he came home. When the dove came back to Noah, he reached out to take it back in.
James 4:8 – "Draw nigh to God, and He will draw night to you..." It means just what it says.
Luke 15:11-32 – Verse 20 references Acts 2:39. Verse 21 references Ps. 51:4.
Gen. 8:9 – I have always found the picture painted in this verse to be so touching.
Isaiah 58:9(a) – Another wonderful word picture. Like a lonely or hurt young person, seeking the help and/or consolation of a trusted friend or counselor.
Heb. 13:5 – Let your lifestyle be without covetousness. And be content with what you have already been given. Because, He has said, 'I will never leave you or abandon you.'
How do we as Christians draw near to God?
1) Turn from sin. Heb 4:14 and 16
2) Praise Him. Ps. 147:1
3) Read and trust His Word. Ps. 119:114
4) In faith and hope lay hold of His promises. Ps. 119:162
Prayers:
Oh Father help 'my brown-eyed boy'! Everything is here for him. It's such a great unknown he will be stepping into if they go. Please leave him and his family here with us. Or, please take care of them while they’re gone. Help me know what to do about [going on an overseas mission trip with the church this summer].
Jan. 6, 2012 –
"Faithful are the wounds of a friend..." I experienced the truth of this verse firsthand this afternoon. In his characteristic good-naturedly bossy way, Aron pointed out that often I am mean to Trissy in the way I talk to her. We had a whole little conversation about it, and it really really hurt. Especially when he picks on his younger brother Simon, and Russell, and me, and it’s always a joke or teasing then. Why can’t he see that I'm just teasing Trissy the way the gang teases me and I tease them?! But I got to thinking over the examples he gave. And yes, as he pointed out, to an onlooker who didn't know the people or the situation, it could appear that I was very rude and mean. Especially when she's so soft-spoken in public. So I hope I can take his advice in the way that he meant it, learn from it, and get over feeling sorry for myself.
I have been so proud of my younger boys (Simon and 'my brown-eyed boy') on this trip! They have both behaved in a very respectful and mostly ;) responsible way, and have conducted themselves in a commendable manner.
Abigail also, though the youngest on this trip, has pulled her weight and kept up valiantly, being our 'shy one', but so sweet!
Prayers:
Dear God, make true men of my boys! Ladies of my girls!
Keep, bless, and protect 'my brown-eyed boy', physically, spiritually, emotionally... in every way! If his family must leave, make him great through this. He’s so small, but I can see in him the potential to become so big. Oh God make him a great man!!
Justice’s devotional - One With Christ:
John 14:19 – "...because I live, ye shall live also." Christ is our reason for living. If it were not for Him - His life, His death, His rising from the grave, His love, His gift – life would not be worth living. Literally. There would be nothing worth being alive for! Because He lives, we have Heaven, we have Life, we have Joy, we have Purpose.
Colossians 3:3 – We are dead. Our life is Christ. He is IN us!! As Justice said, we are not light bulbs waiting to be screwed in when an old one burns out. We have the Light IN us! Do others see the Light? As Abigail said, "Live in such a way that those who don’t know God, but know you, will come to know God, because they know you." Dear God may others see the Light from seeing me live!!
~
After the devotional each night, we all would separate, each finding a little corner of the cabin to read over, think over, and pray over what Justice had talked about that night. I usually curled up in one of the chairs or couches in front of the fire to do my thinking, and when I was done, I would journal until the stirring and hushed conversation from the others signaled that everyone else was done too.
Then we'd play games, talk, or go to bed, depending on how tired we were :) .
The last night, all the children and both sets of house parents met in the boys' house and hosted supper for us. It was such a privilege to get to meet and interact with all the kids that we'd come to help! We had a great evening of getting to know them, and ended the night with an epic game of Pledge-the-super-long-wood-floor-hallway-and-slide-down-it-in-your-stocking-feet, in which a few brave adults also participated :D ! Evidently that's what they do for entertainment on Friday nights at the ranch! Sounded like a wholesome winner to me, as long as you have helmets and pads ;D !
All-in-all it was a great week of exhausting but extremely fulfilling physical labor, spiritual renewal, and friendship strengthening. So many memories made! Memories I think I will treasure my life through.
We had a total of 13 people go from the church, and Justice drove over from the state he and Noel live in now, and met us there. The Bible college where Oliver and Landon are is right in the same neighborhood as the ranch, so we enjoyed some rare time with them as well.
Of our church college friends I've written about over the years on this blog, the ones that were together for a few hours at the ranch were: Aron, Justice, Landon, Oliver, Russell, Lindy, Autumn, Trissy, and me. If Austin, Archer, Toby, Henley, Noel, Lora, and Camille had been able to come, the whole gang would have been together again - if only for a short time. As it was though, several of us mentioned how it seemed like old times again, especially with Justice, Landon, and Oliver there, who we see so rarely since they live out-of-state now.
Bro. Mike and his wife also went, as well as Aron's younger brother Simon, Archer's younger sister Abigail, another lady, another man, and 'my brown-eyed boy'.
'My brown-eyed boy'. I haven't mentioned him before. I don't really know why I think of him with that title, except that, 1) he has brown eyes (duh :) ) and 2) through his family's attendance at Victory Rd., but even more through my interaction with him because of my job at VRCA where he goes to school, I have had the privilege of becoming his friend. I feel toward him what I might feel toward a little brother. His father is unsaved and in the military, and so is gone overseas for months or years at a time. With his father's absence, 'my brown-eyed boy' has been forced to become the 'man of the house', in a sense. His mother is a very capable and sturdy lady (she is also a teacher at VRCA), but with his two younger brothers, there is plenty of weight that she has to share with his young shoulders.
He is in his later teens, and very capable, but without that strong Christian father figure in his life, he struggles. It seems at times that he swings between an overwhelming desire and effort to be the good strong man that would make his Christian friends and his father and mother proud, and the young boy whose teenage problems threaten to swallow him whole.
But I love that part of him that is trying so hard to become a Godly man. I thank the Lord that He has allowed me into the position of influencing this young man as an older friend. It's as if the Lord has given me a great burden for this boy, and has graciously allowed me to actually be part of helping him. For, for some strange reason, he seems to really respect me, value my opinion on different things, and almost seems to look to me as an older sibling, certainly as a friend.
With his dad being in the military, it came up a few weeks ago that they may have to move away from us and to another state farther up north. He seems to be taking it pretty hard, and several of us are praying that somehow they will be able to stay.
Several times in the past year, when there has been some project or mission-trip-fundraiser that the church has been involved in, I have been so impressed and thankful for how he has stepped up and been a responsible example, young gentleman, and hard worker. It's like he gets into 'beast mode' (as they say around here) and gets going so hard a freight train couldn't stop him! And boy, he really threw himself into the work on this trip!
I took minimal journal notes on the trip. Seeing as how we got up before the crack of dawn each morning to grab breakfast and be ready to get to work when the sun came up, then fell into bed dog-tired every night, besides all the fun and fellowship and goofing off with friends in between, I didn't have time to journal like I had wanted to. But I did record a few things each day. Thoughts, prayers, things to remember, and bits from the great devotionals Justice challenged us with each night in front of the fire.
Here they are, from my heart, to paper (or, "computer screen", I suppose is more accurate):
"Jan. 4, 2012 –
Prayers:
Dear God help my precious boys. Make Men of my boys! Help my brown-eyed boy now. He’s got so much on his young mind; so many changes, so many responsibilities, so many disappointments. I love my boys and girls so much!! Thank you for loving me. I could not love them or anyone or anything else, if You had not first shown me what love really is. Help me show my love in appropriate yet impacting ways. Help me to encourage my friends and those who look up to and expect so much from me. Help me to behave myself in appropriate ways, in integrity, in wisdom, in Godliness, so as to have the most influence and impact on these dear lives as possible for Your glory's sake.
Jan. 5, 2012 –
Things to remember:
'Bucket brigade' log loading. ATV-driving lessons from our resident sidekick, Russell, and 'my brown-eyed boy'. Driving an ATV and trailer for the first time (and, I might add, loaded down with logs and friends). Growing closer to brothers. So thankful for a kindred-spirit sister-friend (Lindy). Silly videoing. Learning everybody's middle names (or first names, as the case may be). Being silly with friends. Going Snipe hunting for the first time in my life.
Justice’s devotional – Drawing near to God:
The more you are willing to spend time with God, the more He will reveal Himself to you. The Father went to meet the prodigal son when he came home. When the dove came back to Noah, he reached out to take it back in.
James 4:8 – "Draw nigh to God, and He will draw night to you..." It means just what it says.
Luke 15:11-32 – Verse 20 references Acts 2:39. Verse 21 references Ps. 51:4.
Gen. 8:9 – I have always found the picture painted in this verse to be so touching.
Isaiah 58:9(a) – Another wonderful word picture. Like a lonely or hurt young person, seeking the help and/or consolation of a trusted friend or counselor.
Heb. 13:5 – Let your lifestyle be without covetousness. And be content with what you have already been given. Because, He has said, 'I will never leave you or abandon you.'
How do we as Christians draw near to God?
1) Turn from sin. Heb 4:14 and 16
2) Praise Him. Ps. 147:1
3) Read and trust His Word. Ps. 119:114
4) In faith and hope lay hold of His promises. Ps. 119:162
Prayers:
Oh Father help 'my brown-eyed boy'! Everything is here for him. It's such a great unknown he will be stepping into if they go. Please leave him and his family here with us. Or, please take care of them while they’re gone. Help me know what to do about [going on an overseas mission trip with the church this summer].
Jan. 6, 2012 –
"Faithful are the wounds of a friend..." I experienced the truth of this verse firsthand this afternoon. In his characteristic good-naturedly bossy way, Aron pointed out that often I am mean to Trissy in the way I talk to her. We had a whole little conversation about it, and it really really hurt. Especially when he picks on his younger brother Simon, and Russell, and me, and it’s always a joke or teasing then. Why can’t he see that I'm just teasing Trissy the way the gang teases me and I tease them?! But I got to thinking over the examples he gave. And yes, as he pointed out, to an onlooker who didn't know the people or the situation, it could appear that I was very rude and mean. Especially when she's so soft-spoken in public. So I hope I can take his advice in the way that he meant it, learn from it, and get over feeling sorry for myself.
I have been so proud of my younger boys (Simon and 'my brown-eyed boy') on this trip! They have both behaved in a very respectful and mostly ;) responsible way, and have conducted themselves in a commendable manner.
Abigail also, though the youngest on this trip, has pulled her weight and kept up valiantly, being our 'shy one', but so sweet!
Prayers:
Dear God, make true men of my boys! Ladies of my girls!
Keep, bless, and protect 'my brown-eyed boy', physically, spiritually, emotionally... in every way! If his family must leave, make him great through this. He’s so small, but I can see in him the potential to become so big. Oh God make him a great man!!
Justice’s devotional - One With Christ:
John 14:19 – "...because I live, ye shall live also." Christ is our reason for living. If it were not for Him - His life, His death, His rising from the grave, His love, His gift – life would not be worth living. Literally. There would be nothing worth being alive for! Because He lives, we have Heaven, we have Life, we have Joy, we have Purpose.
Colossians 3:3 – We are dead. Our life is Christ. He is IN us!! As Justice said, we are not light bulbs waiting to be screwed in when an old one burns out. We have the Light IN us! Do others see the Light? As Abigail said, "Live in such a way that those who don’t know God, but know you, will come to know God, because they know you." Dear God may others see the Light from seeing me live!!
~
After the devotional each night, we all would separate, each finding a little corner of the cabin to read over, think over, and pray over what Justice had talked about that night. I usually curled up in one of the chairs or couches in front of the fire to do my thinking, and when I was done, I would journal until the stirring and hushed conversation from the others signaled that everyone else was done too.
Then we'd play games, talk, or go to bed, depending on how tired we were :) .
The last night, all the children and both sets of house parents met in the boys' house and hosted supper for us. It was such a privilege to get to meet and interact with all the kids that we'd come to help! We had a great evening of getting to know them, and ended the night with an epic game of Pledge-the-super-long-wood-floor-hallway-and-slide-down-it-in-your-stocking-feet, in which a few brave adults also participated :D ! Evidently that's what they do for entertainment on Friday nights at the ranch! Sounded like a wholesome winner to me, as long as you have helmets and pads ;D !
All-in-all it was a great week of exhausting but extremely fulfilling physical labor, spiritual renewal, and friendship strengthening. So many memories made! Memories I think I will treasure my life through.
Friday, November 18, 2011
"5 Small Things Friday" No. 7
Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".
For this week, here is my list:
1. Sight: Glittering morning frost on my car
2. Hearing: Sunday-afternoon choir practice working on our Christmas cantata
3. Smell: Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
4. Taste: Home-made Peanut Butter Chews
5. Touch: A thunderstorm wind
The stories behind the list:
1. Have you ever seen a clean surface, covered in pure white frost, early in the morning, and the glittery effect it has? Much more perfect and stunning than anything man could make.
2. I am SO thankful to be allowed to be part of the choir at Victory Rd. I can't sing that well, and sometimes I feel like I should just quit. I know how my part is supposed to sound, and I can read music, and even hit the notes, but the quality of my voice is a little too grainy to be really nice, and I feel like I'm just messing up some of the others, and making myself look silly in the process. But then we have a session like this past Sunday, and I just can't quit! I love it too much! It's such a great time to get closer to people, to learn more about them as individuals, and to learn more about music. Bro. Dennis really works hard to whip us into shape. Right now we're working on our Christmas cantata and it is probably the best and most beautiful one we've done since my family has been at Victory Rd.
Then there's the great camaraderie and joking that is such a part of any small-ish gathering at Victory Rd. The Bass section sits behind the Tenor section in choir, and all those guys do like to carry on. The fun and banter is mixed with serious moments of concentration and friendship. It's wonderful.
3. The other night Mom made grilled cheese sandwiches for supper. I had already been thinking how wonderful a grilled cheese sandwich would taste, and that aroma as they were toasting - WOW! Toasty, cheesy, perfect.
4. Henley makes the best peanut butter chews. She brought some to our church Thanksgiving meal Tuesday evening and they were SO good.
5. One of my favorite outdoor 'activities' is a walk during a summer thunderstorm. Obviously it's not summer now, but I was out momentarily during the wind before a storm this week, and the fight with the wind is always so exhilarating - and comforting. The force, the power, the energy, the amazing beauty... I feel almost like I am being hugged by God, and I mean that in the most awe-filled, reverent way. Many of the moments in my life when I have felt His presence the strongest were when I was out in a storm.
Monday, July 25, 2011
"Go Ye"
I am experiencing a sense of gentle melancholy. I’m not really sure where it comes from, unless it’s the fact that our group of college-age young people will soon no longer be what it once was - which sounds a little clichéd perhaps, but is true nonetheless. Nearly half of us will soon be gone, dispersed into the world to ‘begin again’ - in a sense - putting into practice the lessons and experiences we’ve been storing up from our time here. Landon and Oliver have been gone, attending Bible College in a next-door state, though Landon is back visiting for the summer. For the others, Austin, Camille, Lindy, and Russell will be moving to a four-year college an hour away – Austin and Camille returning there for their last year, Lindy and Russell for their first. They may or may not be able to return for mid-week services and events. Toby will be moving 4 hours away to the state college, driving back only every other weekend to save gas. Oliver is married and settled in the college there, and Landon will be going back when the summer is over. The hardest though, is Justice and Noel, who in just a couple of weeks will be moving several states away for Justice to go to seminary (needless to say, our time with them will be practically non-existent). It seems when they go, our college group as we know it will ‘officially’ be over.
The gang is disintegrating. The time we have here right now for a few more days will never be the same again. This past year and a half or so together has been a priceless time that can never be made back just like it was, once it has gone. We are all growing up. We came together at the beginning of a dramatic time of change in all our lives, enjoyed a precious time of camaraderie and enriching friendship, and now must separate to make our own ways, complete the change, finish the process that will make us into the individuals and adults that the Lord had in mind when He created us. We’ve laughed together, learned together, prayed together, argued, agreed, disagreed, discussed, lived together (some of us), worried about each other, loved each other, exposed and been exposed, and even wept together at times. We’ve shared secrets and hidden secrets. We’ve withdrawn. We’ve bonded. Once we’ve separated, we will never come back together in just the same fashion again. This time can never be reproduced. Yet even this sadness is sweet. It is colored with the good memories and friendships that cannot be erased. And the parting is itself proof that we have grown, that we are benefitting from the lessons the Lord has put us through. We are moving on, spreading out, flying away from the dandelion head one seed at a time, to light again in another location and give rise to another experience like the one we came from. And some of us will stay, falling only an inch or two from the old stem, or clinging to it to continue it's life and work. Who those will be, only the Lord knows, and only time will tell.
And though I am in a sense depressed at the undeniable fact that this season is over, I am also excited. This dear group of which the Lord has so graciously allowed me to be the most insignificant part, is full of potential! Full of brilliant minds, bright eyes, eager hearts, and exalted souls. Full of life, youth, and the typical undaunted zeal and unconquered invincibility of the young. Naïve in some ways, it must be admitted, yet wise beyond their years in areas where the typical college-age young person is sadly and sorely lacking. Each one has unique talents, temperaments, oddities, and virtues. Each one is invaluable. Each one is irreplaceable.
Camille, with her confidence, brains, and compassion. Autumn, with her quietness, skills of observation, and servant’s heart. Austin, with his courage, meekness, and charm. Justice, with his boldness, desire to learn, and no-holds-barred attitude. Noel, willing, frank, and practical. Aron, thoughtful, impetuous, and honest. Henley, sweet, unselfish, and giving. Toby, mission-minded, humble, and fun. Lindy, reliable, self-effacing, and brave. Archer, wise, opinionated, and generous. Russell, happy, tenderhearted, and our entertainer. Landon, adventurous, kind, and undaunted. Trissy, quiet, hardworking, and friend of the oddball. And the others.
For myself, I leave others to critique. All are passionate.
So that contributes to my melancholy that is not wholly melancholy. Those who are departing are going with great goals – to be impacts on their new corners of the world – to be used by the Lord to do His work. To become great for His name. Those who will stay will carry on together until the Lord again divides the group. We will continue to learn, to grow, and to challenge and be challenged. We will continue to uplift and encourage each other. We will continue on. We will serve our Lord where we are.
And if each continues to seek their Lord to this goal (may it be so, dear God!), then He will toughen their determination, strengthen their strengths, gently and gradually reveal to them their faults and foibles, help them to lay those aside, and press them on toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God, for the glory of Jesus Christ.
SOLI DEO GLORIA!
“The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad.” Ps. 126:3
The gang is disintegrating. The time we have here right now for a few more days will never be the same again. This past year and a half or so together has been a priceless time that can never be made back just like it was, once it has gone. We are all growing up. We came together at the beginning of a dramatic time of change in all our lives, enjoyed a precious time of camaraderie and enriching friendship, and now must separate to make our own ways, complete the change, finish the process that will make us into the individuals and adults that the Lord had in mind when He created us. We’ve laughed together, learned together, prayed together, argued, agreed, disagreed, discussed, lived together (some of us), worried about each other, loved each other, exposed and been exposed, and even wept together at times. We’ve shared secrets and hidden secrets. We’ve withdrawn. We’ve bonded. Once we’ve separated, we will never come back together in just the same fashion again. This time can never be reproduced. Yet even this sadness is sweet. It is colored with the good memories and friendships that cannot be erased. And the parting is itself proof that we have grown, that we are benefitting from the lessons the Lord has put us through. We are moving on, spreading out, flying away from the dandelion head one seed at a time, to light again in another location and give rise to another experience like the one we came from. And some of us will stay, falling only an inch or two from the old stem, or clinging to it to continue it's life and work. Who those will be, only the Lord knows, and only time will tell.
And though I am in a sense depressed at the undeniable fact that this season is over, I am also excited. This dear group of which the Lord has so graciously allowed me to be the most insignificant part, is full of potential! Full of brilliant minds, bright eyes, eager hearts, and exalted souls. Full of life, youth, and the typical undaunted zeal and unconquered invincibility of the young. Naïve in some ways, it must be admitted, yet wise beyond their years in areas where the typical college-age young person is sadly and sorely lacking. Each one has unique talents, temperaments, oddities, and virtues. Each one is invaluable. Each one is irreplaceable.
Camille, with her confidence, brains, and compassion. Autumn, with her quietness, skills of observation, and servant’s heart. Austin, with his courage, meekness, and charm. Justice, with his boldness, desire to learn, and no-holds-barred attitude. Noel, willing, frank, and practical. Aron, thoughtful, impetuous, and honest. Henley, sweet, unselfish, and giving. Toby, mission-minded, humble, and fun. Lindy, reliable, self-effacing, and brave. Archer, wise, opinionated, and generous. Russell, happy, tenderhearted, and our entertainer. Landon, adventurous, kind, and undaunted. Trissy, quiet, hardworking, and friend of the oddball. And the others.
For myself, I leave others to critique. All are passionate.
So that contributes to my melancholy that is not wholly melancholy. Those who are departing are going with great goals – to be impacts on their new corners of the world – to be used by the Lord to do His work. To become great for His name. Those who will stay will carry on together until the Lord again divides the group. We will continue to learn, to grow, and to challenge and be challenged. We will continue to uplift and encourage each other. We will continue on. We will serve our Lord where we are.
And if each continues to seek their Lord to this goal (may it be so, dear God!), then He will toughen their determination, strengthen their strengths, gently and gradually reveal to them their faults and foibles, help them to lay those aside, and press them on toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God, for the glory of Jesus Christ.
SOLI DEO GLORIA!
“The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad.” Ps. 126:3
Sunday, May 15, 2011
"...for the LORD will do great things."
Note: This post has been compiled and added to over the course of several weeks, and is not yet a complete account. I may be adding to it.
March 14th ~
D-Now started it.
I have been receiving lots of lessons on prayer lately it seems, and have been provoked to deep thought, and encouraged by these lessons in my prayers for children for Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie. I've been praying that, before Mrs. Carrie's birthday (May 1st), they will find out that they are expecting a child.
The week before D-Now, Trissy and I and Autumn were at the church working on painting and things in preparation. Autumn found a CD player, and turned it on. One of the songs was called "That's What Faith Can Do".
We were busy working, so I wasn't paying really close attention, until the chorus:
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains,
hope that doesn't ever end, even when the sky is falling.
I've seen miracles just happen,
silent prayers get answered,
broken hearts become brand new.
That's what Faith can do."
Then of course, as I've said, the series we used as our 'curriculum' for the weekend was focusing on prayer. Persistent prayer. For sake of the amount of time I have right now, I won't tell all about it, but I'll try to come back later.
During the revival then, the preacher made several comments regarding powerful prayer. Here again, I'll try to come back later and fill this area in.
Yesterday evening at church, as Trissy and I were waiting on everyone to gather for choir practice, Aron's mom came in absolutely beaming, and spoke to a couple of ladies who were also sitting visiting, and waiting on choir practice: Aron and Henley are expecting their first child after being married less than a year.
How happy I am for them! And yet oh how it tore my heart to think, as more people came in and the news spread, how dear, sweet Mrs. Carrie must be hurting amid the hub-bub. Aron's mother could hardly talk about anything except becoming a grandmother during the lulls between songs at Choir Practice. Of course, she should be excited and proud!
Yet I wondered what Mrs. Carrie was thinking, and Bro. Dennis, as he led the practice and kept us in stitches with his merriment.
How tempting it is to think, "It's not fair."
But, of course, it is - God decides what's fair, not us.
This morning during my devotional, I was struggling to stay awake after getting up earlier than usual. I've been reading in the Old Testament, and am now in Joel. For various reasons, I read only the first half or so of chapter two yesterday morning (I usually read a whole chapter), and was going to finish today. So this morning I was fighting my droopy eyelids and trying to be attentive as I read, when I came across verse 21, and was jerked to attention - it seemed the Lord called to me with that first verse, and kept speaking gently, personalizing the verses as I read them:
"Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice: for the LORD will do great things.
(Don't be afraid, you that are Mine, because of what you think might or might not happen. Be glad! Rejoice! I the Lord will do great things.)
Be not afraid, ye beasts of the field: for the pastures of the wilderness do spring,
(Don't be afraid, you who I take care of; the barren place is barren no longer - it is Spring! - the time of young and growing things, and they are springing to life. )
for the tree beareth her fruit, the fig tree and the vine do yield their strength.
(the wife is fruitful; her husband is strengthened.)
Be glad then, ye children of Zion, and rejoice in the LORD your God:
(Be glad then, My child, and rejoice in the LORD your God)
for He hath given you the former rain moderately, and He will cause to come down for you the rain, the former rain, and the latter rain
(for He has rained blessings on you before with answered requests - He will bring down more and more)
in the first month.
(at the time you have asked.)
And the floors shall be full of wheat, and the vats shall overflow with wine and oil.
(There will be a full reason for rejoicing - and no end to the rejoicing itself.)
And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm,
(I will restore to you the years that seem to have been wasted and lost)
My great army which I sent among you.
(but I sent them - and for a reason.)
And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied,
(And you will have more than you thought or asked, and will be satisfied)
and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and My people shall never be ashamed.
And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the LORD your God, and none else: and My people shall never be ashamed."
Joel 2:21-27
(Don't be afraid, you that are Mine, because of what you think might or might not happen. Be glad! Rejoice! I the Lord will do great things.)
Be not afraid, ye beasts of the field: for the pastures of the wilderness do spring,
(Don't be afraid, you who I take care of; the barren place is barren no longer - it is Spring! - the time of young and growing things, and they are springing to life. )
for the tree beareth her fruit, the fig tree and the vine do yield their strength.
(the wife is fruitful; her husband is strengthened.)
Be glad then, ye children of Zion, and rejoice in the LORD your God:
(Be glad then, My child, and rejoice in the LORD your God)
for He hath given you the former rain moderately, and He will cause to come down for you the rain, the former rain, and the latter rain
(for He has rained blessings on you before with answered requests - He will bring down more and more)
in the first month.
(at the time you have asked.)
And the floors shall be full of wheat, and the vats shall overflow with wine and oil.
(There will be a full reason for rejoicing - and no end to the rejoicing itself.)
And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm,
(I will restore to you the years that seem to have been wasted and lost)
My great army which I sent among you.
(but I sent them - and for a reason.)
And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied,
(And you will have more than you thought or asked, and will be satisfied)
and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and My people shall never be ashamed.
And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the LORD your God, and none else: and My people shall never be ashamed."
Joel 2:21-27
Also today, as I was looking at the list in my dashboard of blogs I'm 'following', I noticed a post on prayer. Though the subject was a different one, at the bottom of the post was a 'quotable' that just whacked me in the face when I read it:
"God does answer prayer. All the time. Just not how you think He will."
I don't know what's going to happen. But the Lord does.
May 1st ~
May 1st - Mrs. Carrie's birthday. Nothing.
"We Will Understand It Better By And By". "Farther Along".
Yet will I trust Him - I must trust Him, or my faith will be crippled to such an extent as I must never allow it to be while I am able.
The "Why?" question. They say people always ask, "Why?". I used to pride myself on the fact that I did not. But I haven't been able to honestly say that for a while. I do ask "Why?", though mine is more like, "WHY?!"
Why does He award children to wicked, sensually-minded, selfish, ignorant, unmarried, unashamed sinners, who then thank Him for the gift by throwing it away, when the Godly, pure, humble, faithful, patient husband and wife weep at the death of a miracle, and wait broken-hearted in tentative hope?
I do ask "Why?". I am asking "Why?".
What more could one want in a real man, than Bro. Dennis? And what more is to be desired in a real woman, than Mrs. Carrie?
Are there two people more qualified to be entrusted with the care and raising of a new soul?!
Yet will I trust Him. I MUST trust Him. What right have I not to trust Him? Am I so arrogant to pretend to know better than God Almighty?! To shake my head disbelievingly when the Maker of everything chooses to not follow my plan of proceeding?
No, I don't mean to!
So why do I doubt?
If He is Who I believe He is (and He is) then why do I feel so betrayed? So broken? Why does my hope feel mangled? My dreams mocked?
That old Serpent. Could he be tempted with faith such as what I had, and let it lay peaceful and unchallenged? Now that I think of it, this could be a very real and quite probable answer.
I did have faith. I firmly believed that we would find out today that Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie were going to have a child. My mind even subconsciously envisioned the senario. And as I watched it play out in my mind, my heart would almost stop for joy!
I believed, but it did not happen.
So my belief, or faith, or lack thereof, did not cause the denial of my request.
That means God had it planned a certain way all along (well, of course He did - I'm just thinking/reasoning out loud, trying to sort things out here in my own mind).
And if He had it planned out in such a way as could not line up with mine, I wonder if it hurt Him to go ahead and do it, knowing how it would hurt me.
I'm even envisioning now a senario of finding out some time later this week, that things worked out like I asked for them to, I just didn't find out about it under the timetable I had imagined :) . Wouldn't that be funny? People say God has a sense of humor, and I hope that's not disrespectful, because I'm sure it's true!
But I have no right to expect or even hope for that. He will do things as He wants them done. And that's always the way they should be done. But OH how hard it is sometimes to say, "Not mine, but Thy will be done."
I wonder if the above type of conversation is what the Bible is talking about when it says in Proverbs, "
Ok. Boy! What is He doing?!
I was just about to say how the conversation I've been having here with myself must be what the Bible was talking about in Proverbs when it said to commune with your own heart upon your bed. So I was going to look it up to get the right wording, only it's not Proverbs, it's Psalms!! So I went to search for it in another tab, and when I realized it was Psalms, I searched again for "KJV Psalm 4:4".
The link I clicked on took me to Psalm 37:4 - nothing to do with "Psalm 4:4" except "Psalm" and "4"
"4 Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."
Oh. My. Goodness.
And I just noticed, it doesn't have Psalm 37:4. It has Psalm 37:4-5
"4 Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass."
I don't know what to say right now. I'll come back later. I've got to think. Without trying to type my thoughts at the same time.
May 2nd ~
I'm the last one to bed. It's fairly late. I was feeling all confused and muddled, and my soul was restless and disquieted. I'm not sure what to think about all the input I've been getting, and needed a verse or promise to 'hang on to' amid the confusion.
I sat down on my bed, reached over, and took my Bible from my desk. I opened it to Psalms, and my eyes fell on Ps. 4:1 & 4:
"Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: Thou has enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer. ... Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah."
How appropriate.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)