Dust To Beauty

Spending a decent amount of time in another context is one of the most effective ways to re-set a person's perspective and help them see the world around them through refreshed and unbiased eyes.

Four days ago, I got back from such an experience - a ten-day mission trip with eight other people from Victory Rd., and a friend from another state. A total of ten of us went to a big city in the western part of the country to volunteer at a mission organization focused on ministering to the homeless and poor in that area. It was definitely an eye-opener.

I thought I was prepared. I thought I knew enough about homelessness to be able to minister with a tender heart, but also to maintain a protective skin around my feelings. I was wrong.

And maybe that was a good thing.

The mission sends out a group of staff, program guys, and volunteers every night in a big van (or two) with sandwiches, blankets, clean socks, small hygiene items (shampoo, toothbrushes and toothpaste, soap, sunscreen, etc.), something to drink (juice or hot chocolate, depending on the weather. The mission's hot chocolate is famous in the city. Some people were asking for it even when the nights were warm.), and kind hearts. There are several different routes that the vans take, and multiple stops along each route. The van parks, and a handful of the volunteers get out and walk around nearby, looking for homeless and down-trodden folks in the vicinity to send back to the van. The rest of the workers stay at the van to meet the people who come.
The big red vans and the mission's name are known and welcomed all over the city by drunks, druggies, unemployed businessmen, orphans, scarred veterans, prostitutes, and honest people who are simply 'down on their luck'. Anyone who needs a little food, a little warmth, a kind word, a listening ear, and/or the love of Christ, can find it at the hands of the mission and it's workers - many of them formerly addicted and scarred people themselves, now beautifully healed by the love of God.

Our team was privileged to go out on these nighttime-rescue trips several times. I went along for five out of the ten nights we were there in the city. The first night was heart-breaking, and almost too hard. But after the second night, I was addicted to the 'high' - the feeling of being useful, doing good, and maybe helping change some lives for the better.

Our team also helped prepare and serve the nearly-one-thousand meals the mission serves to homeless people that walk in every day just to eat (the number increases in the winter months when it's cold and harder for homeless folks to find food). In the process of meal preparations and other kitchen chores, our team worked alongside many of the men who are going through the rehab program and living there at the mission. Nothing bonds people like having to work together for a focused cause. We made some wonderful new friends.

To hear the guys in the program tell their stories, to see the depths of history in their eyes, to watch smiles bloom on gruff faces, and to learn how completely normal they are behind the tough fronts... Those were priceless moments.
One of the most impacting seconds of the trip for me was when, one day near the end of our time there, I suddenly realized that I didn't notice anymore the ponytails, the strange facial piercings, the gauges, or the tattoos - those details about our new friends that had startled me (and made me a little more nervous than I was anyway) at the beginning of the trip, had faded before the twin effects of kindness and grace. For, on our parts, it took kindness and open hearts to see past those things at first - to be able to get to know the real men behind the weird expressions. And for them, it took the grace of God to change their hearts from places of fear and slavery to places of rest, courage, and hope. Simply judging by the ten-day experience that I had working at the mission, that is what is happening there - the Lord is using that place to rescue men and give them new lives in Christ.

I thank Him that He allowed me the blessing of looking through a small ten-day window, into the beauty that is possible when His hand touches our dust.

{Note: Another post coming with pictures and more specific details of our trip.}

Where Oh Where Has My Brown-Eyed Boy Gone?

My family doesn't rent movies much, only a little more than we go to the theater, and I've been to the theater four times in (approximately) the past 15 years - gives you some idea of the frequency - but after Trissy and I watched "Big Hero 6" with a cousin (Uncle David and Aunt Winny's son), we wanted to show it to Dad and Mom. So Trissy went out on a limb and picked up four movies (three of which none of us had seen) from the video rental store for us this weekend. One of them was "Last Ounce of Courage" (more later - maybe - on the other three). We watched it tonight, and I was pleasantly surprised. I'm so used to being 'burnt' on new movies that finding one I can recommend is very encouraging. I did have an objection to one aspect, but that's a whole 'nother ballgame, and not why I'm writing this post. Maybe I'll address it another time.

I'm just writing now for myself. To 'think out loud' and pray at the same time.

The film had a very patriotic message, and one of the main characters was a young soldier who bore an amazing resemblance to my 'brown-eyed boy'. My 'brown-eyed boy' - who I have heard nothing of in over a year, except a very rare text message from his mom. I texted the number I had for her one afternoon last month for the first time in probably a year and a half. I didn't even really expect to receive an answer - I never had when the family still lived in this area and still attended Victory Rd. I didn't hold out hope now that they've moved away and been gone so many months. But I was amazed and thrilled when my 'I've-been-thinking-about-your-family-and-just-wanted-to-let-you-know-I'm-praying-for-you' text was answered with a 'we're-doing-alright-the-boys-are-fine-thank-you-for-the-prayers' response!
But then I wondered, did "the boys" mean the two 'little boys', her thirteen and nine-year-olds? Or all three of her boys?

Keeping my eyes and ears open right around the time they left, I picked up word of him here and there for a while. It was very discouraging. He'd disappeared from Victory Rd., hanging instead with 'the wrong crowd'. His Twitter feed was filthy.
The last I heard of my 'brown-eyed boy' he was going into the military - into explosives. That was about two years ago. The last time I saw him, he'd come to pick up his two little brothers from the academy and was - figuratively - a pitiful shadow of the bright young man he had been during his Victory Rd. days. Physically, he appeared in top form. Spiritually...

My first emotion was shock. Heartbreak followed close on it's heels. A Christian brother, my friend. Where had he gone? 
He was like a stranger. He didn't even look at me.

I texted the same message to the last number I had for him, at the same time I texted his mom. No response.

Oh God! My 'brown-eyed boy'! Wherever you are, God help you!
Oh what has become of him?

Toby.

Toby mentored and discipled him for several months. They became quite good friends. If anyone knows where he is or what's going on with him, surely Toby does. Good old Toby - I'll ask him at church tomorrow.

My 'brown-eyed' boy's movie look-alike was a strong Christian and his Lord strengthened him through the fires of battle. Oh that this same could be said of my 'brown-eyed boy'!!

A Hodge-podge Collage

It's bedtime. The rest of the house is dark and quiet, but there is a lamp on beside me. I am ensconsed in Dad's big recliner in the living room for the night because I'm trying to organize my room and can't get to my bed at this point. I have a notebook and a pen...

My thoughts are like a hodge-podge collage tonight. Thoughts, colors, people, songs, scenes, events, past, present, future, all layered together and overlapping into a display that, really, is quite beautiful, in spite of the pain that's part of the piece.

Melissa's sadness * "Like An Avalanche" * Law's sweet prayer * Abigail's shirt striped with sequins * Julia saying good-bye * Autumn's joking rebuke that I can't figure out * the black hood of Austin's car * JV kids from last year back this year * seeing my 'brown-eyed boy' in Wal*Mart * "Christ In Me" * music practice last night * 'Multiply' with Joy * Law: "Was that a fat joke Austin?! You did! You just called Kyrie fat." Abigail: "Kyrie, he called you fat! Slap him!" Me: "No!" Austin's look of innocent bewildered confusion * my bedroom I'm wanting to clean out and organize * being behind on my '5 Small Things Friday' posts * wanting to write/journal * Uncle Alvin's family coming to visit * Law's soft shirt and lean hardness when he bumped against my arm * wanting to make things for the fair * hopes for our AWANAs at church * Bro. Nick's lesson tonight - 'Making Decisions for the Glory of God' * Lindy seeming pre-occupied * being hungry and tired * why didn't Archer come to Toby and Lindy's wedding? * not getting to tell Landon 'bye before he left for his year-long mission trip * Passion 2014? * letters to write * hugs from Piper * wearing my hair down * invite pain? reject pain? or forget pain? * "Learning To Be The Light" * VRCA school starting * needing to work on the academy website * What happened to Ashelyn and her husband? * Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie * Bro. Dennis joking like old times at Toby and Lindy's rehearsal supper * ...

My Beautiful People

This is a sort of prose 'poem' I composed off the top of my head this afternoon. I was thinking about how beautiful people are, how detailed and exquisite God's craftsmanship is, and how it blesses me to look at it, and I just started writing about (some of) the beautiful people I know. I wrote about some of them as they are now, and about some of them as I have known them and as I know they can be again.

{Aug. 10th Note: I have edited and added to how it was originally; below is the edited version. And I will most likely continue to add to it in coming weeks - I know many beautiful people :) ! There is not necessarily a particular order, though I have tended to edit related people to be in groups. The paragraphs mostly just flowed from pictures of people I love that popped randomly into my mind's vision.}

"My Beautiful People"

I love how people are so beautiful.

I love Mrs. S's hair, flecked with a bare sprinkle of silver,
how it falls in a dark wing above her forehead.
I love how her words are always soft
but always significant.
How she tilts her head
and makes everyone who talks to her feel like
they are special.

I love how Austin's grin is worth a million dollars.
I love the little wrinkles at the corners of his eyes
and how he is one of the greatest examples of humility and undemonstrative compassion I have ever known.
How his eyes are sometimes contented green,
sometimes quiet caramel,
and sometimes snapping black.
How his thick hair is that dark gold color,
and how he absently plays with that lock in the front when he's thinking.

I love how Ava's brilliant deep blue eyes fill up half her face
and how her huge smile fills the other half.
How she braids a strand of her hair away from her face sometimes,
and how she ducks her head and does this awkward sort of dance up to you
when she wants a hug.
I love how perfect she is for Austin.
I love how understanding she is,
how easy to talk to,
and how she's the one I think of when I have a desire to do something really wacky or childish,
knowing she'd understand perfectly
and would probably do it with me.

I love how Bro. Dennis's laugh fills him up
and fills the room up
and fills the listeners up
so that they want to laugh too, even if they don't know what's going on.
I love his caramel eyes
and brown hair
and sideburns.
How he's so square and stocky.
I love how he cocks his head and glares at you with his eyebrows way up, when you've done something without thinking and he wants to call your attention to it, but in a teasing way.
I love how he thinks about everything, analyzing it until it's broken down and he can look at all it's parts
and then show them to someone else in a way that they can understand it.

I love how gentle-faced
and dignified Mrs. Carrie is.
How slim and tall she stands,
and how she can get from one spot to another quickly, but never appears to be hurrying.
How quietly elegant her style is.
I love her silky hair
and how it falls to her shoulders with gentle waves towards the bottom.
I love her dark-honey eyes
that observe keenly,
and speak volumes if you have the eyes to listen.

I love Oliver's passion,
his dreamer's heart.
How his grin could light up a dungeon
and how his black eyes squint when he is really smiling,
or get big when he's passionately trying to describe or get a point across.
How his black hair and tan skin make him look great in white.

I love Toby's humility,
his resilience,
and his quiet passion for the spread of the Gospel.
I love his blue eyes and dark blond hair,
his kind smile,
and the way he coins phrases or starts using already-invented ones in such a way that use of the expression seems to spread and become part of the every-day vocabulary of most who know him.
I love how devoted he is to Lindy,
how respectful he is of her,
and yet how they goof off and tease each other almost like siblings might.

I love Lindy's powder-blue eyes.
How healthy and gentle her face is.
I love how she's so powerful,
but so lady-like.
How she bends over backwards to make
the others in the situation feel comfortable.

I love Mrs. Renae's deep brown hair
and how it has red-ish highlights.
I love how when she's laughing,
her left eye squints just a little bit.
I love how she rejoices in life like a child might.
How she worships the Lord like no one else is watching,
or like the whole world is.
How she dresses so classy,
and modestly too.

I love how deep 'my brown-eyed boy's eyes are,
and how deep his voice is,
though he is so young.
I love how his hair is such a rich dark brown -
almost black.
How great he looks in dark teal.
How polite he is.
How, when he laughs, it's a squeak deep in his throat;
how it contrasts with his speaking voice.
I love how he gets in 'beast mode' when there's a job to do -
how his focus narrows so that he gives his best to do his part.

I love Piper's freckles,
her round-ish face,
her piercing eyes,
that are so wise.
I love her meek and quiet spirit,
her calm sensibility.
How she stands at an angle and looks at the ground ahead of you and sort of leans toward you with her near arm out just a little, when she wants a hug.
How when she wears her glasses,
she looks even cuter. And sortof scholarly.
How she is the perfect size to hug and prop my cheek on the top of her head,
but how she will probably end up taller than I am.

I love how Abigail is so brown and healthy-looking
from all the time she spends outside.
How she sometimes sweeps a little of her hair away from her face on either side in a sortof vintage style.
How she closes her eyes and then sweeps her head to face you and opens them dramatically when she's making a point.
I love how she blinks and sniffs at the same time,
how it wrinkles her nose and shows off her freckles
and her lovely eyelashes at the same time,
but how she doesn't even know she's doing it.
I love how she's always got a pun or corny joke to share.
How her giggle sounds light and free and pure.

I love Law's eyes; that amazing summer-forest color - a patch of sky, a few leaves, a glimpse of loamy earth.
How his light brown hair sweeps across his forehead like his mom's does.
I love how tall and broad-shouldered he's getting to be,
how brown he is from working outside in the sun all the time.
I love how when he smiles it lights up his whole being,
how his eyes get big and round and excited.
How fun-loving he is,
and yet, how responsible
and serious he can be when it counts.
I love how the joy of the Lord seems to fill him up
and pour out of him to bless and admonish others in his life.

I love Archer's sharp brown eyes, one of only two pairs I've ever known that could truly be said to 'twinkle',
how he smirks when he finds something amusing,
making that slight dimple come out in his cheek.
How he rocks back on the chair legs when he laughs, his chuckles starting as a squeak in his throat, his eyes squinting, and his nose wrinkling up.
How carefully and yet unknowingly he lifts a wing of dark almost-black hair away from his eyes with his fingertips, or rakes his hand through the top and pats it down.
His biting sarcasm that he then softens with a smirk and a twinkle as he cuts his eyes slyly at the victim.
His heart for service,
and how he doesn't back down from his decision unless presented with what he considers intelligent, compelling reasons.

I love how Julia's so pert, almost sassy,
in the way she teases her friends;
how her rude comments (that probably no one else could get away with) are her way of showing her friendship,
and how she hurries to assure you she was joking, even though you already knew she was.
How frank and honest you can count on her to be.
I love how naturally scrunchy/curly her blond hair is.
I love how she's the queen of crazy faces,
how she can make this bug-eyed stare and hold it long after you've given up staring back and are doubled over laughing.
I love those brilliant blue eyes of hers,
how she uses them with her fine blond eyebrows and
how she tilts and moves her head to be so expressive.
I love how she and Autumn (not being related at all) can be such close friends that they're like sisters.

I love Autumn's naturally scrunchy light brown hair,
her almond-shaped dark brown eyes,
how her smile shows how straight and white and perfect her teeth are,
and makes her dimples come out.
I love how she's not very tall,
but is so athletic
and sturdy.
How she doesn't brag,
but her talents just randomly come out when they're needed
and everyone thinks, "Wow."

I love Camille's strength,
not only physically,
but inside too.
How tall she is.
How thick and rich her brown hair is
and how it can get so long so fast.
I love how bright her green eyes are
and how clear and bright her complexion is
when she doesn't wear make up
and her hair is up out of her face.
How she seems so brusque
and almost tough,
but is really such a softie.

I love Bro. Mike's gray-ish hair
and short goatee
and slightly pointed ears
that earned him the nick-name, The Garden Gnome.
I love his kind blue eyes,
his short stocky build,
and how he believes in hard work
and in doing your best.
His wise,
calm,
loving,
understanding spirit.

I love Landon's good-natured spirit.
How he is the image of country-boy charm,
with his work boots, faded jeans, worn t-shirt (or button-up with the sleeves rolled up), and white-and-blue ball cap.
How that white-and-blue cap is almost as much a part of him as his name is!
How round his brown eyes are
and how high his eyebrows get when he's telling about one of the adventures that seem to constantly seek him out.
The air of hospitality,
kindness,
gladness,
and friendliness
that is part of his character.

I love how courageous Bro. Earl is,
how he can narrow his vision so that he can focus on the job at hand, and shut out the rest of life's difficulties for the time being.
I love how he always has a complement,
a joke,
or a pleasant remark
for whoever he runs into.
I love how he's so squarely built,
how he stays in shape even though his job is not one that requires much physical activity.
How his style is both relaxed and yet classic.
How he always has time to talk,
and how he will tell you if he doesn't have the answer,
but will try to help you find it.
How he's a preacher, a pastor, but he's just a regular guy too,
he's not hight-and-mighty,
he's humble,
and willing to learn.
I love his teal-blue eyes
and dark-gold hair like Austin's.

I love Mrs. Shannen's nod -
the way she bobs her head and smiles Bro. Dennis' grin when she agrees with something.
The way she says, "Goot!" instead of "Good!",
that would sound annoying on anyone else,
but is part of her.
How her short hair flips out just a little.
Her gentle spirit
and meekness.
How she's so motherly,
so kind,
how she keeps on going,
even when the going is tough.

I love the way Russell dances (almost litterally) through life,
using his flambuoyant tendency toward the dramatic (singing, acting, dancing, etc.)
to entertain us,
to put smiles on our faces,
to lighten the heaviness that life sometimes is.
How his striking blue eyes contrast with his brown hair,
and how they squint and disappear when he grins.
How he'll pull out the 'grandma voice' when he's talking to little kids,
or the Scottish accent when he's ordering at a restaurant.
How he gets so serious and technical when there's a job to do,
rushing around on his long legs like a grasshopper.
How his eyebrows raise and wiggle,
and his eyes sparkle when he's goofing off.
I love how he's joyful even when his life's hard.

I love Trent's sense of humor when you get to know him a little bit,
but how he's just an ordinary teenager otherwise.
How 'dressing up' is, for him, a white button-up shirt, unfaded jeans, and boots.
How thick and rich his blond hair is,
how quiet and observant his eyes are,
how slender he is,
and how tall he's getting to be.

I love Aron's strength, both of body
and of character.
How protective he is of his wife and child,
how he serves them
and guides them.
I love how he is such a hard worker
and such a loyal friend.
How his jet-black hair and dark eyes and deep tan skin are so striking, and
how his laugh is so powerful, but
so boyish and freeing.

I love Henley's sensitivity to people,
her down-to-earth outlook
and kind heart;
the way she draws others in, making them at home.
I love how her long, straight, dark-blond hair has natural bright-gold highlights in it.
Her big blue eyes.
How patient she is,
always trying to see the positive in a situation,
how she respects her husband Aron,
and protects her little son.
How she has chosen to stay at home and serve her family,
instead of trying to make 'her' place out in the world.

I love how Joy is so tall,
how I hug her and it's more comfortable for her arms to be around my shoulders while my arms are around her waist, even though I'm ten years older.
I love how her eyes are the color of dark copper
and her hair is just a little darker than that.
I love how she calls herself my long-lost sister because we're so much alike that it's uncanny sometimes.
How she lights up when she's telling me about something that stood out to her in her Bible reading.

I love Justice's confidence,
how his voice has such a low pitch that, if you're not used to it, it almost makes you want to plug your ears to lessen how much it makes the room vibrate.
I love how his Irish blood comes out
in his stocky form,
curly brown hair,
bright blue eyes,
pale freckled skin,
and passionate nature.
I love how tender-hearted he is toward things of God;
how he has a heart for young people,
and how he has such a gift as a teacher.

I love Noel's curly black hair.
I love how she looks up to Justice, her husband.
How she defaults to him in any decision.
I love her child-like simplicity,
and how she tries to make the best of a hard situation.
What a grateful spirit she has
and how matter-of-fact she is.
How she's willing to serve wherever she can,
and how quick she is to point out other's talents and strengths.
I love how she tucks her chin, cocks her head, raises her eyebrows, and looks at her listeners from the tops of her eyes when she's making a point.
I love how she leans her head back and giggles.

I love how Trissy's hair is so straight
and fine
and long
and golden in the sun.
I love that she doesn't wear make up,
but is still attractive.
I love how she makes that self-deprecating smirk
and shrugs when she does or says something that everyone except she thought was funny and they all laugh.

"5 Small Things Friday" No. 90

Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".

For this week, here is my list:

1. Sight:

2. Hearing:

3. Smell:

4. Taste: Strawberries And Cream Smoothie

5. Touch: Church Bus Floor

The stories behind the list:

1.

2.

3.

4. The Tuesday before we left Chicago, we went again to that charming little ice cream place next to the church, one more time. I got a 'strawberries with cream' smoothie, and it was so yummy! I must have "flung a cravin'", as Mom says, on Jane and Toby, 'cause that's what they decided to get too.

5. Wednesday, on the way back from our mission trip to Chicago, I spent part of the 15-hour bus ride on the floor of the 15-passenger church bus, trying to catch up on lost sleep. On long church trips, the floor of the bus usually becomes littered with blankets, pillows, and napping young people. There's a good bit of squirming to get into a comfortable position without getting in others' space, and good-natured arguing for a turn at the largest sections of floor.
I love it when it's my turn. Not only is it a chance to get out of the uncomfortable seats and stretch out for a few minutes of rest, but it is a soothing experience in it's own way as well.
Wednesday as the miles passed beneath us on our way back South, I lay on the bus floor, and the hum of the tires was very near - a close, gentle, lulling, one-note tune. The highway vibrated soothingly and the wind of the northern flat lands caught the tallness of the bus and rocked it. My face was buried in my pillow, my light-weight blanket tucked up under my chin, and the floor of the friendly bus was warm under me as it hummed along, mile after mile, faithfully carrying us back 'home' as it had done so many times before. I felt so content, so at peace and rest, almost like I was being hugged by a dear trust-worthy friend and feeling their heart beat.

The Honor And The Dread

I'm in a quandry. I'm both touched, and irritated. Expectant, and dreading. Feeling honored, and feeling disgruntled.

In less than three months, another couple from our wonderful set of church college friends will have 'tied the knot'. Lindy and Toby have their wedding date set for August 10th, and dear Lindy is moving through preparations in between finishing school, plans for starting her new teaching job, summer mission trips, etc. Moving through, as in, calmly stressing out. I know that sounds strange, but that's pretty much how she is! She's not very picky at all, she mainly wants to plan things so that other people involved will enjoy it and be happy. Dear Lindy! So self-deprecating, so strong and yet so sweet and considerate! Last night after church, she was talking to Trissy and me about deciding on bridesmaids dresses, and finally said, 'I don't even really care! I'd like them to be this same color and the skirts basically be the same style and length, but I just want my bridesmaids to wear dresses and stand up there with me!'

Which... leads me to why I'm feeling so... glum.
Wednesday night after church, Lindy asked Trissy and me to be two of her bridesmaids.
Which is a huge honor! But... I don't want to be a bridesmaid! *Big sigh*
I've been so happy how I've been able to 'dodge that bullet' so far. I wasn't in Oliver and his wife's, Justice and Noel's, or Austin and Ava's weddings, but got to be at all of them (two of which were quite a distance away). I was in Aron and Henley's wedding, playing the piano. I was in Nicole and her husband's wedding, playing the piano. I've been at many of my cousin's weddings, but only part of two - once as a photographer and once as a server. All those were fine, all those were great, and even fun! Every time, I've been so happy that no one ever asked me to be a bridesmaid!

Y'all are probably thinking I'm a complete idiot right about now. Yeah, I'm kind of feeling like it too. Sorry. I know I probably sound absolutely ridiculous and silly. I know it's considered a great honor to be asked to be in a wedding. I just. don't. want. to be. a bridesmaid.

I've never been a fancy, frilly, pearls-and-lace kind of person. I have a very down-to-earth, simple, take-me-or-leave-me, slightly vintage, old-fashioned, style. I don't spend much time on my hair. I have about three styles and that's it - pony tail, braid, or messy bun, with a sort of twist thing I do with my bangs to get them off my forehead when it's hot. I don't have pierced ears, I have only two necklaces I sometimes wear, simply as a tribute to the sweet young girl who gave them to me, and I have two rings I wear (a silver purity ring and my graduation ring). I don't like jewelry and pretty much don't wear it. I don't wear make-up at all. Never have, never plan to. I don't paint my fingernails or toenails, or go to have them done by somebody else either! I don't wear high-heeled shoes, and I don't look forward to dress-up occasions.
So, if you didn't know me, now you have a little bit of an idea of my personal style. Or, what's not my personal style.

And maybe you still think I'm over-reacting about this whole bridesmaid thing. But that's just the way it is. I think about it and I groan. Just things like, getting my hair done (What kind of style will be expected? Will it have to be something all fancy? Will it require hairspray? Ugh.), will I be expected to get my nails done (I cringe to think about my fingernails painted, and I know I don't want anyone touching my feet!)? Maybe I can wear closed shoes so at least my toenails won't be a problem... Have I got to wear heels? Or jewelry? Fear of fears, will they want me to wear make-up? I wouldn't have the first clue about putting it on! But if I use that excuse, will someone say, "Oh, I can do it for you!" Ew, no thanks.
Sweet Lindy's gone to great lengths to be considerate in the area of the dresses. To cut down significantly on the cost, she picked out a satin fabric and bought patterns so we can make them instead of buying them. Her mom can sew, and Mom can too. She's made sure the dress patterns can be 'tweaked' to fit with our convictions of modesty.

I'm not really concerned about the dress I'll have to wear. I think it's just going to end up being a simple, kind of classy, satin affair. It's other little things, like, 'If I'm on the stage, I can't be taking pictures!' Or, 'I don't want to have to be so dolled up that I wouldn't recognize myself if I looked in the mirror, or worse, that no one else would recognize me either!'
Worst of all, my biggest groan, my greatest dread, is, 'Who will they pair me up with as far as groomsmen?' That's the one that really bothers me. If you know me at all, you know I'm not interested in guys. Not like that. What if they pair me up with some single friend of Toby's that I've never even heard of? Or even one of our single college friends? That wouldn't be as bad, but it sure would be awkward! Maybe Austin will be in it and they'll put me with him - one of my 'brothers' and best, already claimed!

Even as I type, I'm realizing how silly this all sounds. Even sillier than when I was saying it in my head. The thing is though, that it's all very real. I'm just being honest. That's the problem with silly worries. They're still real concerns. It's not so easy to just argue them away by saying, "You worry too much! It'll all work out!" or, "Oh, you're just over-thinking this whole thing! It's not going to be that bad when it gets here." or the worst one, "It'll all be over in just a few hours and then you can forget all about it." Uh, no-o! There will be pictures! I'll never forget it! Neither will anyone else!

Goodness. I do know one thing is true - I am worrying too much. Whatever happens, I should not be stressing out so much over it. That won't change anything except raise my blood-pressure.
It might end up being my worst nightmare. Or, sweet Lindy knowing me as well as she does, she might have realized I'd be thinking about all this and it might end up being an absolutely wonderful, comfortable, enjoyable experience!

Precious Lindy - one of Trissy's and my best friends! And dearest Toby! I could not hurt them by turning this honor down. Yet how I wish I could beg Lindy to let me pass out programs or something instead :\ !

Well, guess that's all I know for now. Stay tuned for further developments.

An 'Awesome' Sunday

I am not at all in the habit of using the word "awesome" to describe things, but in light of the great blessing the Lord gave me in this Sunday, I think it's almost worthy of the word.

The morning dawned beautifully. I went up to The Grandparents' to fix their breakfast (we've been taking turns doing that - it makes it easier for them on a busy morning trying to get ready for church), and the air had a little chill in it, but the sunshine was warm and sweet.
I finished helping them, and came back to the house, in high spirits and ready for my own breakfast, looking forward to a morning at the Lord's house. Later as I was getting ready, I got a message from Noel, reminding everyone that this morning was the start of Justice's New Testament Survey Sunday school class, and I felt an even greater expectation!

Justice was making the class available to whoever wanted to take it in the church, not just the college class, so Dad and Mom had signed up to take it as well. Because it was going to be more people than usual, we were going to meet in the larger classroom downstairs under the youth room, in the gym across the street from the church building. We were running a little late, so we parked in the small lot behind the church (closer to the gym), and as Dad and Mom gathered their Bibles and things, they told Trissy and me to go ahead and go to the classroom, so Justice would know we were there and on our way.

Trissy and I started across the little lot behind the church building, toward the street that separates the church from the gym and it's parking lot and the big, empty, grassy lot that also serves as spare parking space. The morning sun was beautiful, the air was crisp and clear, and we strolled along breathing deeply of the Spring sweetness.
Trissy suddenly called my attention to a tall young figure crossing the grassy lot quite a ways ahead of us. It was Law, heading to his Sunday School class in the youth room.
"There goes Mr. S." she commented, smiling.
I looked up. "Mmhmm" I hadn't noticed him yet, but his bright red polo made him hard to miss.
He strode along comfortably with a firm, unhurried step, his shoulders straight and his head up, moving gently, as if he were enjoying the beautiful morning. Less than a year ago, he would have ambled indifferently along, his shoulders slumped a little forward, and his gaze for the most part turned downward.
Taking note of the difference, my heart felt fit to burst with thankfulness for the Lord's work in that young heart.

Justice was the only one in the classroom when we walked in, but his mom was right behind us, then Noel, Autumn, and Aron's cousin's husband. Toby hobbled in, his leg in a brace after surgery for a torn ACL, and another older couple filled out the class. Justice said Austin was going to be leading the music service this morning, and he was getting the last details taken care of, so he and Ava might be late. We went ahead and started, but they came in pretty soon.
It was a good class, and I think we're going to learn alot. And such a wonderful, comfortable, combination of old times and new times! The thought kept running through my mind, "This is so right. This feels so right."

Later in the choir room, as the choir members trickled in, Lindsay (who has been singing with us off-and-on for several months) came up to me, said good morning, and shyly gave me what I call a 'greeting hug' (which I kindof explain in this post :) ). As she stepped back, she said, in her soft feminine way, 'You look pretty today. Well,' she paused and tilted her head as if correcting herself, 'you always look pretty. I love your hair.'
I was caught off guard.
'Aw,' I kindof ducked my head, and smiled in confusion, 'Thank you!'
I didn't know what to say! I was completely taken by surprise. Seldom am I told that I am pretty - which is convenient, because I know it's not true, and it's nice to not have to try to come up with a polite response.
But coming from a modern teen-age girl, it meant so much - to think that maybe I had been able to influence her enough as a friend for her to want to reach back out to me in her own way.

As the choir walked out in our single-file line, I saw that, not only was Austin leading, but the instruments were switched up too.
Usually, Bro. Blake leads, Lydia plays acoustic guitar, Austin is on electric, and Bro. Dennis on bass, with Simon on drums, and a young woman of the church (whose husband is a veterinarian - just a random FYI fact :) ) plays the piano. This morning though, Austin was playing acoustic guitar (in addition to leading the singing), Bro. Dennis was on electric, and Law on bass! I don't think Law has been on bass for a Sunday morning service since Bro. Blake was put in charge of the music. Simon was still on drums and the lady on the piano, but Bro. Blake was incorporating some extra percussion (tambourine and cajon) that isn't usually used.
Walking out and seeing this setup rejoiced my heart.
And the service just kept getting better as we began to sing.

My heart was so glad. I kept getting that thought again, "This is right. This is so right."

I know that, as a child of God, my joy is not dependent on my circumstances. The Lord never changes; He remains the amazing, caring, dependable, trustworthy Friend that He was when I first met Him. He will never go somewhere where I cannot be around Him anymore. He will never disappoint me. He will never make a mistake or let me down. He is always available to put His arms around me and let me lean into Him. He is the true source of anything good or enjoyable that is part of my life. HE is.
And yet I would be denying a fact of life if I tried to pretend that circumstances do not influence the way a Christian feels. Christians are not immune to sorrow or happiness. They are just as prone to emotion, doubt, struggle, and soaring victory as a person is who does not know God. The difference is that we have the Lord as our Friend and help. He guides us and helps us through difficult, as well as victorious times. And He uses both the really hard and the really great times to mold us into who He wants us to be.

Today was one of those really great days.

I guess pretty much the only thing that happened to mar the beauty of the day, was choir practice.
There were alot of people out, I guess because of Spring Break, and it was a really small crowd. There were only two in the 'men' (tenor and bass) section, and those were the two fifth-grade boys who have been singing with us for the past couple of months. I sing tenor, so when I went up into the choir, I sat by them.
I'm thankful to say that Bro. Dennis still comes and sings in the choir, even though he technically doesn't even have to be there anymore. There's usually at least one other man that is there to sing tenor, but he wasn't there this afternoon. So when Bro. Dennis came in a little late, I moved over a space, so he could sit next to the boys.
I pretty much couldn't concentrate the rest of practice. We were working on songs from a book Bro. Dennis had used with us last year. And here he was, in the choir instead of leading it. Sitting next to me, and yet a stranger. The man who taught me as much (probably more) about practical Christian living, about how to knowledgeably yet respectfully defend the Faith, about choosing joy, about reliance on and faith in the sovereignty of God, than any other preacher or teacher I've ever had. One of my heroes of the Faith. Just, gone.
I didn't feel that bitter piercing pain, only a dull sad ache. How I wished that I dared turn to him and say simply, "I miss you."
Of course I didn't, but I couldn't help but wonder, what would happen if I did? Inside, my heart spoke quietly on; quiet, but so deeply hurting. "I miss you. Why did you leave? Where did you go? Will you ever come back? I know you're still in there somewhere. Aren't you? Do you even exist anymore? Deep down, are you still in there, or is this stranger here to stay? To replace you? Please come back. I miss you. And I'm not the only one. Do you not see the pain in the eyes of others here who love you?"
My mind wandered to memories of happy choir practices only a couple of years ago. When Bro. Jack and Mrs. Janet, Bro. Mike and Camille, Mrs Carrie, Mrs. Renae, and Bro. Blake were still in it. When laughter and music were strong because they went together. When Bro. Dennis's merry heart and musical knowledge refused to be beaten by our amateurity, and he'd whip us into shape with his wit and talent.
Yeah, choir practice was really hard.

But aside from that, the rest of the evening was pleasant. And after church, our college fellowship supper was at Austin and Ava's. They made spaghetti together - dear Ava's biggest source of remorse is the fact that she can't cook. But she's serious about learning, and her experiments so far have turned out quite well. I hate to be at someone's house without helping out somehow, so she put me and Aron's little cousin to making garlic bread. Aron, Henley, and Timothy were there, Aron's cousin and her husband, toddler son, and little sister, Justice and Noel and Justice's younger brother Tanner, Austin and Ava of course, and me. Trissy was tired out from a long week of school, so she didn't go.
It seemed like such a small group, but it was pleasant and relaxing.
After supper, the guys were outside trying to fix Tanner's truck that wouldn't start, Aron and Henley and Aron's cousin's family had already left to get the kids to bed, and Noel was watching the progress on the truck. I made Ava let me help her clean the kitchen, and we had a good talk about plans for the future, how God uses events in our lives, and how He's been working recently, as I washed and she dried and put away the dishes.
We were nearly done. The guys had gotten Tanner's truck running, and they came in to see how we were getting along before Justice, Noel, and Tanner said goodnight and left.
I finished drying the salad tongs that had been used to serve the spaghetti noodles, and asked where they were supposed to be put. Austin opened a drawer.
"Oh. These are salad tongs." I said as I put them in, pretending to just then figure out their use. "Salad tongs." I emphasized to Austin, waving my hands under his nose as he bent to shut the drawer.
'Yeah, that's why we're using them for spaghetti,' he returned, completely unruffled. Austin does not like vegetables.
Ava spoke up from where she was putting up the plates. 'Austin doesn't really eat salads.' She made a disapproving face.
'Don't worry,' I reassured her, as Austin took the towel from me to dry his hands and I turned back to the sink for another dish. 'We'll convert him yet.'
Austin finished drying his hands. 'Good luck,' he replied. He draped the towel over my shoulder, patted it sympathetically, and left the kitchen. Ava and I looked at each other and chuckled.

I enjoyed the drive back to the house, tired but happily reliving the memories of the wonderful day. I turned off the highway onto our dirt road and drove slowly up the little hill, savoring the sight of the bright summer stars above the cool smoothness of the pasture grass on my left. I turned into our drive on the right and parked, got out, and walked back to the end of the drive - which faces that pasture - and stood at the end, staring up at the stars. The air had that delicate yet hardy touch of cool-in-warmth that is so typical of Spring evenings. It wasn't cool, it wasn't warm, it was fresh and it was perfect. I saw the tiny blinking lights of two airplanes and the darting path of a shooting star. My heart was so full.
I stood there quite a while, wishing I could look for hours, and resolving that I was going to spend the night sleeping under the stars some day.
When I turned to go back to the house though, the picture that met my sight touched my heart just as strongly as the one I was turning from, though in a completely different way.
Our house (it's actually a double-wide trailer that Dad's improved and built on to), sits back a little from the dirt road. The front outside light was on, and the big oak in our front yard was a radiating silhouette, lit up magically by the light behind it. The windows of the house glowed a cozy golden. My steps made a satisfying crunching sound on the gravelly drive, and my heart was leaning considerably to the lighter side as I went in.

Easter - 2013

The day began beautifully, with Dad, Trissy and me attending the Easter Sunrise Service in the parking lot of The Grandparents' church.  It was a lovely morning - fresh, and a little chilly. There was a deep fog overhead and curling around the trees in the woods at the edges of the church property, but the sun was coming up high behind the mist, making our atmosphere under the fog bright, cool, and full of a sort of 'wondering'.
The dear song leader, who's been at that church since my childhood, led us acapella in the hymn, "He Lives" and our lifted voices sounded small in the lovely space of the outdoors.

The dear pastor then stood to preach. He'd been a missionary in Albania years ago, at the same time Uncle Alvin and his family had been there. They'd become friends, and his family and ours never lost contact. Now he's the pastor of the church The Grandparents are members of. A Godly man, and a tall, big man; he's always struck me as one of those "larger-than-life" types that legends and stories might have been written about in the old days. And what a heart for good and for God!
He used 1 Corinthians 15:1-11 as the Scripture reference, and spoke on "the evidence, the essence, and the effect" of the Gospel.
My (somewhat limited) sermon notes:

"
Bro. _____ ______
Easter Morning - Mar. 31, 2013
1 Corinthians 15:1-11

1) The Essence of the Gospel
* What is the Gospel? The Gospel is the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ.
* Christians have Hope.
* All other religious leaders (the creators of all the other major religions) are in their graves still.
* We serve a risen Savior!

2) The Evidence of the Gospel
* He was seen of Cephas (verse 5)
* then of the twelve (verse 5)
* then of more than 500 at once (verse 6).
* How many witnesses do you need?!
* Blessed are those who have not seen, but believe (John 20:29).
* Our present-day Salvation is just as real as their encounters with Him then.
* He's alive, and He's still 'in business' today.

3) The Effect of the Gospel
* verses 2a and 10
* What does God want for/from/through you/your life?
* None of us is living out the full effect of Christ in our lives.
"

It was the first "sunrise service" I'd been to in years; probably the first since my family moved from that church years ago. It was so good to experience one again!

When we got back to our house, Trissy and I quickly ate breakfast and hurried on to Victory Rd. - we were singing in the choir for the Easter program, and Bro. Blake wanted all the choir members to be there early. Dad and Mom would come closer to time for the service to start.

It was a good morning. The morning was still foggy, but bright, as choir members arrived one by one. We convened in the choir room, greeting each other and laughing as we found our formal Easter- and Christmas-Program choir robes and slipped them on over our Sunday outfits, adjusting the reversible collars so the mauve side showed and they hung straight. Bro. Blake led us in an acapella run-through of the first song as a warm-up. People began arriving and filling the auditorium, soon it was time to start, and we lined up and filed out into the choir as we do every Sunday morning.
Bro. Blake led the congregation in the hymn "Because He Lives", and then the choir began our presentation. I think it went the best it has of all our practices and everything! It's a great cantata, using strong songs like "What Held You On The Cross", "The Story Goes On", and "Crucified With Christ". The Lord blessed Bro. Blake to direct us, and our voices to blend and harmonize and soar high, and I hope those who heard it received as big of a blessing from it as I did!
When our program ended, Bro. Jeremiah preached a stirring and victorious sermon about how we, as Christians, have joy and victory and fulfillment in life because of "the third day" - when Jesus our Lord rose from the grave!!
One of my co-workers from the restaurant was there with her grandparents (who are members of Victory Rd.) and as soon as I could after church was over, I went to hug her and talk a few minutes, and say hello to her little two-year-old son. I was so glad to see her! I don't think she knows the Lord - she doesn't live like it anyway - and I want so badly to be a Christian friend and example to her. I hope and pray she soon will accept Jesus's love and peace for herself.
Dear Toby was at church, even with his leg in a brace, and though he had to hobble in on crutches. Lindy sat with him and his family, lending her sweet touch and support. Poor guy, his mom said he's been trying to not take so much of the pain medicine, and he was hurting pretty bad by the time church was over. Between him and Russell (who was home for Easter and is practically an adopted member of that family), after church that pew was pretty much surrounded for a while with church members glad to see those two boys back - wanting to say hello to Russell and express sympathy over Toby's knee.
Trissy had found out that Bro. Nick and Lydia didn't have any plans for the rest of the day, so after a brainstorm, a request to Dad and Mom to invite them over for dinner and the afternoon, and a spur-of-the-moment affirmative decision by our parents, Trissy and I swung by their house as we left the church. We caught them about to leave for lunch, but when we presented our proposition, they gladly accepted.

We had two of the local cousins (Uncle Alvin's oldest son and daughter who live only about 45 minutes away. The son's wife was sick, and the daughter's husband had to work, so they weren't there.) and their children and Bro. Nick and Lydia's family all at The Grandparents for lunch. After cleaning up the kitchen, we sat around and chatted and visited and fellowshipped, while all the kids had a wonderful time together playing in The Grandparents big yard, and in the playhouse that Dad built for Trissy and me when we were small.

Bro. Nick and Lydia left fairly early in the afternoon, but some of the cousins stuck around. Evening church services were canceled at both Victory Rd. and The Grandparents' church (which seems absolutely ridiculous to me - the most important holiday in our Christian faith and church services are canceled?! Makes no sense...), so we spent the rest of the day at The Grandparents, just spending time together.

Most of the adults found a couch or chair or a spot on the floor and curled up with a throw pillow and blanket for a nap. The kids that weren't put down for a nap played outside or read or colored quietly.
Sitting at the computer blogging, I looked over and noticed my cousin's almost-thirteen-year-old son had a thick book with him where he was curled up on the couch, and asked him what he was reading. It was "The Chronicles of Narnia" by C. S. Lewis, in one volume. We got started talking about books and authors and styles, and I found out some of his thoughts and opinions on different ones. It was a really great conversation! Come to think of it, we had several really fun conversations throughout the day! He helped The Grandmother get the TV in the living room fixed so that they could watch videos and DVDs on it, and it hasn't worked in months; and over lunch he showed me this neat math trick with nine squares drawn on a piece of paper. I remember when that kid was born, and to see him now growing up so smart and with such good tastes is just such a happy feeling!

When everyone started getting up from naps, the kids asked The Grandmother if they could watch an episode of "Sue Thomas, F.B.Eye" (she has the collection on DVD). Soon the house was humming again - some sitting around the kitchen table looking at pictures and discussing Pinterest ideas, some watching Sue Thomas in the living room (I joined this group and sat and crocheted while watching the show), some raiding the kitchen for a snack from the lunch left-overs, and some of the littlest kiddos still napping on the den floor.

It was a peaceful, fun afternoon that faded to an enjoyable evening.

Trissy wasn't feeling good, so as people began getting ready for bed (one of the cousin's and her kids decided to spend the night), I took her back to our house and then went back to help Mom finish cleaning up. On my way back, I flipped on the radio and heard "I Know My Redeemer Lives", one of the songs from one of the cantatas we did at Victory Rd. several years ago (That seems strange to say, "several years ago". Strange to think we've been at Victory Rd. long enough to be able to say it). Probably my favorite of the Easter cantatas we've done. As I pulled up to The Grandparents' garage, that song ended and the next one started. It was "Great I Am". Sigh.

Mom was still talking with my cousin, so I finished gathering our things and loading up our food and all into our van, then sat and listened to their conversation until Mom was ready to go. Not that I was anti-social or anything, it had just been a long day, I'd been missing alot of sleep lately, and I was really tired.

When we got back to the house, I helped Mom unload everything, got a couple of sheets, and sank into the recliner in our living room. I was so tired, I didn't even want to change out of my regular clothes into pajamas so I could sleep in my bed. But I went to sleep with a full, grateful heart, and slept probably the best I have in weeks.

Communion

Tonight was I think the most meaningful, beautiful, moving celebration of the Lord's Supper I have ever been a part of.
This was the first time that I know of that Victory Rd. has had the Lord's Supper on a Wednesday night. Usually it's during the night service of the Sunday before Easter Sunday. But this seemed to work well. All Wednesday night classes were canceled, and we all met together in the auditorium.
As they arrived, people greeted each other quietly in the foyer and hallways, and the doors to the auditorium had signs taped to them requesting, "Enter reverently with prayer".

Trissy had gone early to do a Bible study with one of the young girls at the church, so she was already there. When I entered the auditorium after quietly greeting Nicole, Lydia, and a few others standing in the foyer, the lights were dim and those already inside sat silent or talking in whispers. I spotted Trissy and Ava sitting where our family usually sits on Sunday nights, talking quietly, and went to join them. It was almost time to start. Ava left to go sit with Austin and his family, and Dad and Mom came in and sat with Trissy and me. All the over-head lights were off - the only light was from the soft ones on the back wall, a couple up front, and a soft spotlight on the cross-and-dove centerpiece high on the wall above the choir chairs. Bro. Blake's mother was playing the organ; soft, gentle, solemn old hymns like "The Ninety and Nine". The whole room felt so beautiful, so, holy.

Bro. Blake stepped up to the podium and led the congregation in two hymns, "Hallelujah, Christ Arose", and "The Blood Will Never Lose It's Power", with only the organ for accompaniment and his rich baritone for direction. As the last chorus came to an end, Bro. Nick walked up to the platform with his Bible in his hands, and Bro. Blake handed him the microphone and went to sit with his family.

Bro. Nick read clearly and simply the account of the Last Supper from Matthew 26:17-29. When he reached verse 29, I noticed something I don't think I ever had before. Jesus says, "But I say unto you, I will not drink henceforth of this fruit of the vine, until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom."
Until I drink it new, with you. He's waiting for us. Christ, the son of God, is keeping Himself from enjoying the complete pleasures of His Father's kingdom, until we who are His adopted brothers and sisters are there to enjoy it too. Wow.

When Bro. Nick finished reading, Bro. Dennis sang "When He Was On The Cross, I Was On His Mind". So thankful to hear that voice again. So thankful for hope for the future.

Bro. Earl preached a simple sermon and read the apostle Paul's description from 1 Corinthians 11:23-26. He urged us that were followers of Christ to pray silently (while he prayed aloud), confessing any known sin in our lives, and asking the Lord to reveal others we may not have recognized so that we could repent of them also, enabling us to take the Lord's Supper with an examined heart and a clean conscience.

After he prayed an earnest, humble prayer, he asked Bro. Nick and five of the deacons to come to the front to help him pass out the bread and 'wine' (grape juice). The pewter dishes gleamed in the soft light. Bro. Earl handed a plate filled with the tiny pieces of flat bread to Bro. Nick on his right. Bro. Nick turned and gave it to Bro. Blake who in turn handed it to Julia's dad. Then another one for Bro. Blake. Bro. Earl handed one to Lindy's dad on his left, and the 'bucket brigade'-style plate-passing was repeated on that side. The four deacons with the four plates of bread then moved throughout the congregation, offering a piece to each member. When all had been served, the deacons walked back to the front and served each other, each man giving the plate to the next man up, and that one holding it for him to take a piece, then passing the plate on, ending with Bro. Earl serving Bro. Nick and Lindy's dad before taking a piece himself.
The process was repeated with the trays filled with the tiny glass cups of grape juice.
I was struck with the beauty of the ceremony and order of the process.

It has always been a solemn thing, the Lord's Supper. Something I don't believe I've ever taken lightly since I've been old enough to understand. Certainly not since I received Christ and have been part of one of these services myself.
But this time, I seemed to feel the wonderful, terrible, incredible significance in a way I never remember before. Hearing again the story of the first one, the "Last Supper" - the last Passover Jesus celebrated with His disciples. The overwhelming sadness that must have threatened to consume Him, as the time to leave got closer. The pure aloneness He must have felt, knowing all would desert Him. Knowing He must face this - the most terrible horrors any human on earth had or has ever come to - alone.
Alone.

Julia's dad, as one of the deacons, held out the plate of unleavened bread. I took one of the tiny pieces and held it as Bro. Earl prayed.
Jesus' words, 'This is My body, broken for you...' The disciples must not have understood that night. Did they? They must not have. It surely would have torn them from the inside out, if they'd known...
The crisp crunch of the plain, unleavened bread.

Julia's dad came back, this time with the tray of juice.
As I sat looking into the rich purple color of that tiny glass of grape juice, tears came to my eyes. 'This is My blood, shed for you... My blood... My blood...'
The life of the flesh is in the blood. He literally gave His life - for me. For whoever would choose to accept His gift.
Of course this was only juice here, but the significance was so terribly and wonderfully real to me that from sheer sympathy I didn't think I would be able to drink it. How He suffered! And we have no idea really.
Bro. Earl prayed again, but when he finished, I really hesitated to drink my juice. Then Jesus's command to the disciples spoke in my head, "Drink ye all of it;" and I did.
The sweet, spicy tang of the purple grape juice, then soft chinks all across the room as people slid their tiny empty glasses into the wooden holders on the backs of the pews in front of them.

Reminding us that Jesus and His disciples sang a hymn when they left their Passover meal, Bro. Earl nodded to Bro. Blake, whose his rich baritone solemnly but joyfully began the first verse of "Amazing Grace" as he began walking down the center isle and out of the auditorium. We all stood and followed, singing.

We left the building quietly, smiling at each other without speaking, and most continued on to their cars and left, taking the lovely solemn experience home to savor.

But a few stayed in little knots of people to chat a few minutes, standing around in the parking lot. Aron's cousin was behind Trissy and me as we exited the church building, and greeted us sweetly when we got out front. Her husband had been invited to preach at another church Sunday night, so we asked how that had gone. Lindy, and then Ava, came and joined our little group, and we stood talking amiably about random little things, like friends do. Toby had had surgery the day before, on one of his knees he'd injured playing basketball. Lindy said he was in quite a bit of pain and acting pretty grumpy unless someone was hugging him. We talked about hugs, how some people are 'huggy' people and some are not, about cats and kittens and Ava said Austin said she could have two of ours if Maggie has kittens, as long as they stayed outside. We talked about the weather, how it keeps getting hot, then chilly again. Ava was wearing leather flip-flops and her feet were cold. About that time, Austin came out of the church where he'd been helping lock up and, after a little more discussion on being cold and how to avoid it, they left to go get supper. As they walked off, I thought of something. I ran to catch up, and when I did, told Ava she should 'borrow' his corn bag when she was cold. She turned to Austin. 'Corn bag! You have a corn bag?!'
'Oh yeah! I do!' and Austin was telling her the story as they left.

I returned to our little group. Aron's cousin had left by this time, and the parking lot was practically empty. Trissy and I visited with Lindy a couple more minutes before saying good-bye with light and happy hearts.

The whole evening was such a wonderful, special experience.

Memorial Day 2012

The S. family had the college crew over to their place for a Memorial Day cook-out this year. Actually, they pretty much turned over their place to the college crew for a Memorial Day cook-out this year :) ! Bro. S. was at work, and Mrs. S., Abigail, and Piper all went to the beach, so Archer and Law were the hosts. Trissy and I got there just as the ladies were leaving, and the girls jumped out to show us how the house was coming along (very well! The siding is on, sheet-rock up, bathroom's finished, washer and dryer in, doors hung, and I think all of the painting is done.) and the color of their freshly-painted room (teal).

It was a wonderful, simple, wholesome, fun day!

For a big part of the time, about half of us sat around on the wide, welcoming, wrap-around porch, some swinging lazily in the hammocks, some scooted back and leaning against the house where the shade was, some unable to resist the fun of sitting on the edge in the sun and swinging their legs over that nice height.
The guys grilled hamburgers and deep-fried potato slices and onion rings down by the pond. There were coolers filled with ice-cold cans of soda and bottled water, plates of cookies, brownies, cupcakes, and a dirt cake. There was potato salad, and of course, the hamburger 'fixings'.
It was hot and humid, but there was a welcome breeze blowing off the pond, and mist from the sprinkler cooling the air.

As we got hungry, we'd go down to the folding table set up beside where the boys were grilling, fix a burger or grab a bag of chips or some desert, and then stand around or sit on the ground eating. The ants loved it ;) .

Russell and Toby helped Archer spread out a plastic tarp on the little hill leading from the house down to the pond, turned the sprinkler on it, and Aron put liquid soap on it to make a 'slip-and-slide'!

One of the S. family's favorite family activities is to go kayaking together, so they have their own little fleet.
Several had brought fishing gear and were standing around the pond fishing. Russell got out in one of the kayaks to do his fishing, and after a few minutes Law dove in and swam out to where he was, keeping Russell company while enjoying a swim himself.
Others began taking turns getting out in the kayaks and/or swimming in the pond, and eventually I think almost everyone was out on, in, or beside the water at the same time. Trissy and I got to kayak for the first time, and - country kids that we are - I guess it was our first real swim in a pond too, though we've done plenty of splashing and wading in our neighbor's cows' watering holes!



I think just about everyone that has ever been part of the college group in any way was there. Only Oliver, Landon, Bro. Mike, Lora, Andrea, 'my brown-eyed boy' and Julia were missing. There must have been 25 or 30 of us there.

I love people. I love these people. I notice things about people I love. And I notice the brilliant and beautiful details God programed into them.
A few from today: Hair ruffled in the breeze. Red happy faces glistening with sweat and water drops from the sprinkler. Huge grins. Arms brown under the summer sun. Strong legs and nimble feet chasing a soccer ball. Shining eyes. Good-natured laughs. Observant personalities. Humility. Compassion. Contentment.

At one point I was sitting on the porch in the sun, swinging my legs over the side, and I suddenly noticed and became keenly aware of the importance of this seemingly trivial moment in time.
I was surrounded by friends. Christians. Archer had hooked up his laptop to some speakers, and music that praised God was filling the yard. Some were playing soccer, some were sliding on the slip-and-slide, some were fishing, some were spraying or getting sprayed with the water hose, some were sitting around visiting. It was totally peaceful. No fear. No stress. No pain for this moment. And my mind sort of took that moment and paused it as a slice of the day - a sample of the best of summer times - and as I soaked it up, the thought *involuntarily came to my mind, "This is a taste of what Heaven will be like."

A drop of ocean water is still part of the ocean. Though of course it cannot even begin to describe the ocean in it's entirety of size, content, color, or temperament, it nevertheless represents a tiny part of what the ocean is like.
If someone who has never seen or experienced the ocean were to be given access to a drop of ocean water, they would be able to touch, see, smell, and - in a sense - 'experience' the ocean. But if they were to be taken to the ocean, the experience would be much different.
So, I think, it is with moments like this one in the lives of Christians. These moments are drops of water from the great Ocean, Heaven, that the Lord gives to us in order to sharpen our craving for Home.

I thank Him for them; and for Heaven to come.

*I specify 'involuntarily' because I think that trivial earthly experiences are compared to Heaven (i.e. "This chocolate cake is heavenly!" or "Living here is like heaven.") so many times, that it becomes irreverent. Heaven is a real place people! A holy place, the home of God and those who have believed on His Son - indescribable beauty, pure happiness, complete health, glorious freedom, and total focused worship of the One Who made it possible.
I want to stress that in no way did I intend to compare a fun day with a group of friends - wonderful as it may be - to that glorious Place in a flippant or irreverent way.
But - based on Biblical descriptions of what Heaven will be like - in this case, I believe the comparison is quite acceptable.

A Few Of My Favorite Things

Eyes. Mischievous brown eyes. Gorgeous green eyes. Frank, shining sapphire-blue eyes. Twinkling caramel-brown eyes. Snapping black eyes. Smiling green eyes. Serious, wise, sparkling soft brown eyes. Unpredictable sky-blue eyes. Laughing, earnest deep-sea blue eyes. Golden eyes, yet to be deciphered. Gentle, happy brown eyes. Pale turquoise eyes.

Soft, curving, shocks of hair. Sunny gold. Mahogany. Night black. Golden brown. Chocolate. Red gold. Auburn. Soft light brown. Dark brown. Burnished gold.

Dimples. Braces. Band practices. Bible studies. Big smiles.

Strong young blood. Good choices. Right decisions. Victorious lives.

More Recent Happenings

This is another 'Recent Happenings' post. I have to go such gaps in my posting that when I do get to post just a 'journal' type post, there is SO MUCH to tell! Maybe someday I can get on a schedule that allows for regular blogging - I don't want to forget all these memories! Until then, I'll just do my best.



Mission Journey 2011 - my (and Trissy's) first mission trip was an amazing blessing and experience! Ten from our church went, as well as the churches former pastor who agreed to come to do the preaching. Our team did a series of services that lasted five evenings. Each night about half of us led special classes for children, while the rest had a church service for the adults. We worked with the local church, and were blessed beyond measure, besides the added blessings of their testimonies of how we had blessed them!
We also worked on their church building, helping with some fixes that needed to be done.
The story is so long and wonderfully full! I will not tell it all here. Suffice it to say, I believe I will never forget my experiences there, the bonds and friendships made, the lessons learned, and the tremendous blessings poured out. I pray the Lord used us to impact lives to such an extent, that the local Christians will be able to water the seed we planted, and that God will give such an increase that all we can do is praise Him!



Oliver got married this past month to a girl he met in Bible College. He'd brought her down here a couple of times on school breaks this past semester, and Victory Rd. got to meet her, but it still took us all a little by surprise, I think, when we heard he was getting married! Bro. Mike said the church would be taking our bus over there for anyone who wanted to go to the wedding (Oliver stayed over in the state where the college is, instead of coming back here for the summer). It ended up only being five of us who went. Bro. Mike and his wife, Toby, Lindy, and me.

We drove over Friday, the wedding was Saturday evening, and we came back Sunday afternoon after going to the church Landon attends when he's there.

That was the most 'different' wedding I think I've ever been to. I don't guess it was bad, it was just... nontraditional, shall we say. But I was glad I went. Some of Oliver's church family from down here needed to be there to support him and show we still love and care about him, even though he's not here any more.



We gave our old (well, young actually) mean rooster to Mom's cousin and his family who live up the road from us, and their little grandson LOVES him! We had him out in the pen, and Mom and Trissy were afraid of him because he would try to spur them whenever they went into the pen. Dad and I were the only ones he respected - we made sure he knew who was boss!



Mom was so tired of being afraid in her own yard that she was about ready to put him in a pot, but he'd been part of the first batch we'd hatched in the incubator, and we hated to eat him ourselves, so we gave him to our cousin. They keep him in a smaller cage by himself, and they can just reach in to feed him. The little grandson loves to look at him and hear him crow :) . So we're glad the matter was 'disposed of' so satisfactorily to everyone! We got rid of a menace, and they got a pet!

The chicks we hatched were getting so big, and as soon as we got rid of the rooster, we put them out in the big pen with the hens. Two of the banty eggs and one of the medium-sized ones from Mrs. H hatched, and also four of our own. When we let them out into the big pen, they were so happy to be out and able to 'fly' around!



Day before yesterday though, something got the little banty rooster chick (bottom left in the picture). We thought maybe it had been one of our cats, but they acted hungry at feeding time, and just didn't seem like they would do that - they're pretty used to the chickens, and leave them alone.
Then yesterday something killed the little medium-sized one (the white one at the top), but left most of it (the banty was completely gone except for a little pile of feathers). Trissy had seen a squirrel in the pen yesterday, and we are wondering if a squirrel might have gotten them. Does anyone know if squirrels eat chicken?! There's getting to be somewhat of an over-population of them around here, and if they can't find enough of their normal food, would they go for a small chicken?
Anyway, we've locked the last five chicks in the chicken house with food and water, and put a nesting box out in the yard for the grown hens for now. We hope to get some wire soon (today if possible) and totally enclose the area.



We had VBS in June, and really enjoyed being involved again this year. Trissy went 'out on a limb' this year, and was the assistant teacher for ages four and five, with Lindy being the teacher. The young Spanish woman who our family's having Bible studies with, brought her two little kids, and they all seemed to really enjoy it.



I've finally gotten the top of my bedspread made! I've been wanting to make a denim bedspread for several years, using our old denim clothes and scraps given to me by friends and family, so it will be sort of a memory quilt. I finally gathered enough scraps - it took 315 squares!



I wrote on little scraps of paper where each denim piece came from, and pinned it to the fabric. I plan on embroidering on the back of the quilt, who each square came from.



I got the top pieced a couple of weeks ago. I had to lay it all out on our living room floor, because that was the only place big enough to leave it spread out until I got all the squares sewn together!



It took me almost two weeks to get it done, working in my spare time. Mom was very patient to let me leave it spread out in the middle of the floor so long!



On the Fourth of July, Trissy made a delicious 'fruit pizza' desert using sugar cookie dough for the crust, and a whipped cream/cream cheese mixture for the 'sauce'. She loves decorating those things, but this year we didn't have much fruit except blueberries, so that's what she used.



I thought it turned out so western/country/rustic looking - I love that style - and it tasted SO good!



Dad, Mom, Trissy, me, and The Grandparents all took a little 'field trip' out to a blueberry farm near where we live, and got to see how blueberries are picked by a machine, and how they are examined, sorted, and packaged for selling.











One of the men who works there goes to the same church as The Grandparents, and he told them they aught to go out and see how it was done! The owner is also a friend of his, and took us around, giving us the 'grand tour'. It was fascinating!
Before we left, we bought some of their blueberry lemonade - it was so cold and refreshing!





Last month, we were outside one evening at The Grandparents, and kept thinking we heard a kitten mewing. We eventually found it up inside the motor area of our van! It was dark by this time (we were getting ready to go back to our house), and the kitten was black, so we had quite a time finding it and getting it out of there. We think someone probably didn't want it and dropped it off near our place. Anyway, we'll probably end up keeping it instead of giving it away. We've gotten kind of attached to it, and Trissy wants it for herself, since Bobby is sort of the family's cat, and Winky is mine. We've named it Magnolia, after a black kitten in a Christmas story we have :) .



The S. family came over a few weeks ago one Saturday evening to bring us a little banty rooster. He was from the first batch they hatched and raised, but he was getting picked on at their place by the other chickens, so they offered him to us.

Bro. and Mrs. S., Law, and Piper all came, Archer was at work I believe, and Abigail was gone to church camp with a friend. It was the first time any of them had been to our place; after releasing the rooster into the pen, we stood around 'talking chickens' and caught some of the chicks to hold. We showed them our garden, fruit trees, and the rest of our yard, our basktetball goal, and our cats. Piper got attached to Magnolia :) . They stayed for about an hour and a half, and we just chatted out in the yard. It was so nice to have them! We wanted them to come in for a while, but they had to get on back. Church in the morning, and it was getting on toward sunset. They are such dear people.



I have been so thankful for the personal projects the Lord has helped me accomplish the past few weeks! My denim quilt top, and also the seat to my desk chair, and my 'window mirror'!

I found saw this chair by the side of the road one Wednesday night on our way to church about four years ago. Trash pick-up was the next day, I think, so I asked Dad if we could stop on our way home from church, and see what kind of condition the chair was in.
When we stopped, it turned out the frame was in great condition, only it's rush seat was all torn up. So we took it back to the house, and I tore off the ruined seat, sanded and stained the chair frame, and sat it at my desk until I could order the cane to put a new seat in.
Well, there it sat for approximately four years, waiting for me to spend the money on some cane for a seat (there always seemed to be something more pressing the money I had needed to be spent on).

So this past month, I finally got the cane ordered, and put that seat in (I ordered the 1/2 inch flat reed from Rockler Woodworking and Hardware, and it only cost $15.54, including tax)!
I love it! I can actually sit at my desk now to do my work :D !





I also got my 'window mirror' stained and hung. I've wanted one of these since I was about eight years old, and I saw one in my uncle and aunt's house. This frame was given to me by The Grandfather's brother and his wife, when I found it in the loft of their old barn. The glass was broken out of it, and the various layers of paint were peeling, but I wanted a natural stain anyway. Mom stripped it, and Dad and Mom paid someone to put the mirrors in as my Christmas gift last year. I was so excited!



So this month I got it stained, and Dad helped me put a wire hanger on it.
We hung it above my bed. It's across from my window, and makes my little room seem larger and so much more airy!



One Sunday morning a couple of weeks ago, Dad, Mom, Trissy, Toby, Lindy and I went about a half-hour away to a baptism service of one of the Spanish churches up a little north of us. Our family is in charge of the Spanish ministry at our church, and Toby and Lindy are two of our most involved and enthusiastic in the ministry. We've been getting advice and help from the Guatemalan pastor of this church that was having the baptism, and on his last visit down to a small Spanish service we had, he was telling about the baptism that was going to be taking place, and told us their church was praying that the Lord would prepare twelve people to be baptized that day. We decided we'd like to go up and be there, both for support for them and also for the experience ourselves. We invited Toby and Lindy to come along. There ended up being eleven people baptized!



It was quite an experience! We were the only 'white' people, and we stood out like sore thumbs! But it was really neat and very moving to see how the people loved the Lord, and wanted to learn about Him. They met in a park so they could use the lake to baptize in, and it was raining that morning, but people just stood out in the rain for their classes like it was nothing! We are so spoiled.





This past week I finished Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. I read the full version. You know, the one that's twenty inches thick? Ok, well, maybe not twenty inches...

I must admit, I was extremely disappointed. I believe it's considered one of the classics, besides, I've heard people rant and rave over how wonderful it was.
I love to read, and am always looking for good material, so I borrowed it from a cousin and read it. The story was extremely interesting, there were lots of surprise twists, narrow escapes, and gripping scenes. It was very good - from a literary standpoint.

But the author's seemingly wishy-washy attitude on things like drinking, loose living, and using anger and animal-like violence to get one's way, disturbed me greatly. He seemed to rant and rave to a huge extent on the injustices and flaws of certain areas of society, yet be condoning and even approving of other ungodly and distorted ways of thinking.
Anyway, I could not in good conscience recommend this book to anyone. Just saying.



Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie are supposed to go Tuesday to see how things are going with the baby, and find out whether it's a boy or a girl (it's a boy though, I know it is ;) ).
Mrs. Carrie just seems to glow all the time. Praise the Lord for His goodness!



Justice and Noel will be leaving Aug. 5. I miss them already. Austin will be going to join them and go to the same seminary as Justice, after he finishes this next year of college. He and Justice believe the Lord may be calling them to start a church together, though they don't know how, when, or where. Aron and Henley announced Wednesday night that they will probably be moving to another state within a couple of years, for Aron to go to Bible College as well.
It's sad to think about everyone dispersing, but so exciting too, to see how the Lord will use these dear young lives for His purpose and work.

Sunday evening after church the young people met for supper together (as we have been doing for quite a while now), and after the usual banter and fun that always comes when we all get together, we fell into a discussion of 'preference vs. principle' - how so many churches do things because 'that's how we've always done it', and not maybe because those preferences have their root in Scripture. We must carefully examine the Bible, and determine what among our habits (both as a church, and as individuals) are preference, and what are principle. We may need to throw out some preferences that can not truthfully be called principles, while carefully preserving the 'preferences' that are also 'principles'!

As I sat listening (and discussing!), I couldn't help thinking, "How many groups of college-age young people, even among 'church youth groups', would have a conversation that so easily and naturally turned to Biblical things, without being urged by an adult?! Praise God for this dear group who have HIM as their center!! Praise Him for allowing me to be a part of it!"



I am now on Etsy! Praise the Lord, another project checked off my list that's been there forever! I've had an account since February, but hadn't set up the buy/sell side of it yet. I got that done yesterday with the gracious help of a local friend who's an Etsy seller. Praise the LORD!
My shop is empty right this minute, but I hope to start listing things soon!
HERE is the link to my shop. If anyone who may be reading is an Etsy user, I'd appreciate any support :)



Victory Road Christian Academy starts back to school Aug. 8th, and I'm so excited! I love working there, and can't wait to see all my little after-school kids again. Bro. Earl announced Sunday that there are over a hundred students enrolled, and the school now goes up through twelfth grade. Praise the Lord! That's a few more that the public schools won't get to poison for a while anyway!

Note: I'm not bashing public schools, I know there are many good Godly principals and teachers out there who are trying to fix a sick system. But I am afraid that public schools are nothing more than a disaster waiting to happen. Most of the ungodly and dangerous influences that children are exposed to come from their school. Public schools are especially dangerous to children of Christian families. They are little sheep being fed to the lions - what control do loving parents have over what the little eyes see, what the little ears hear, what the little minds soak up about a world that is saturated in filth and evil, when they are away from them? Church gets them maybe a couple of hours a week. School gets them most of the day, most of the week, and most of the year.
The ideal is homeschooling. The second-best is a Godly, Christian, private school.



School starts back for me Aug. 19th. This is my last semester, and is basically just a 'clean-up' one. I'll be taking my last few required classes, and also an art class, simply because, as a crafter and 'artist', I'd like to learn a little more about good design.
I'm hoping and praying this semester will be easy! I have so much else I'd like to have time to be involved in!

{Zig-zags courtesy of Jones Design Company}