"...for the LORD will do great things."

Note: This post has been compiled and added to over the course of several weeks, and is not yet a complete account. I may be adding to it.

March 14th ~

D-Now started it.
I have been receiving lots of lessons on prayer lately it seems, and have been provoked to deep thought, and encouraged by these lessons in my prayers for children for Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie. I've been praying that, before Mrs. Carrie's birthday (May 1st), they will find out that they are expecting a child.
The week before D-Now, Trissy and I and Autumn were at the church working on painting and things in preparation. Autumn found a CD player, and turned it on. One of the songs was called "That's What Faith Can Do".
We were busy working, so I wasn't paying really close attention, until the chorus:

"I've seen dreams that move the mountains,
hope that doesn't ever end, even when the sky is falling.
I've seen miracles just happen,
silent prayers get answered,
broken hearts become brand new.
That's what Faith can do."

Then of course, as I've said, the series we used as our 'curriculum' for the weekend was focusing on prayer. Persistent prayer. For sake of the amount of time I have right now, I won't tell all about it, but I'll try to come back later.

During the revival then, the preacher made several comments regarding powerful prayer. Here again, I'll try to come back later and fill this area in.

Yesterday evening at church, as Trissy and I were waiting on everyone to gather for choir practice, Aron's mom came in absolutely beaming, and spoke to a couple of ladies who were also sitting visiting, and waiting on choir practice: Aron and Henley are expecting their first child after being married less than a year.
How happy I am for them! And yet oh how it tore my heart to think, as more people came in and the news spread, how dear, sweet Mrs. Carrie must be hurting amid the hub-bub. Aron's mother could hardly talk about anything except becoming a grandmother during the lulls between songs at Choir Practice. Of course, she should be excited and proud!
Yet I wondered what Mrs. Carrie was thinking, and Bro. Dennis, as he led the practice and kept us in stitches with his merriment.

How tempting it is to think, "It's not fair."

But, of course, it is - God decides what's fair, not us.

This morning during my devotional, I was struggling to stay awake after getting up earlier than usual. I've been reading in the Old Testament, and am now in Joel. For various reasons, I read only the first half or so of chapter two yesterday morning (I usually read a whole chapter), and was going to finish today. So this morning I was fighting my droopy eyelids and trying to be attentive as I read, when I came across verse 21, and was jerked to attention - it seemed the Lord called to me with that first verse, and kept speaking gently, personalizing the verses as I read them:

"Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice: for the LORD will do great things.
(Don't be afraid, you that are Mine, because of what you think might or might not happen. Be glad! Rejoice! I the Lord will do great things.)
Be not afraid, ye beasts of the field: for the pastures of the wilderness do spring,
(Don't be afraid, you who I take care of; the barren place is barren no longer - it is Spring! - the time of young and growing things, and they are springing to life. )
for the tree beareth her fruit, the fig tree and the vine do yield their strength.
(the wife is fruitful; her husband is strengthened.)
Be glad then, ye children of Zion, and rejoice in the LORD your God:
(Be glad then, My child, and rejoice in the LORD your God)
for He hath given you the former rain moderately, and He will cause to come down for you the rain, the former rain, and the latter rain
(for He has rained blessings on you before with answered requests - He will bring down more and more)
in the first month.
(at the time you have asked.)
And the floors shall be full of wheat, and the vats shall overflow with wine and oil.
(There will be a full reason for rejoicing - and no end to the rejoicing itself.)
And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm,
(I will restore to you the years that seem to have been wasted and lost)
My great army which I sent among you.
(but I sent them - and for a reason.)
And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied,
(And you will have more than you thought or asked, and will be satisfied)
and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and My people shall never be ashamed.

And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the LORD your God, and none else: and My people shall never be ashamed."

Joel 2:21-27

Also today, as I was looking at the list in my dashboard of blogs I'm 'following', I noticed a post on prayer. Though the subject was a different one, at the bottom of the post was a 'quotable' that just whacked me in the face when I read it:

"God does answer prayer. All the time. Just not how you think He will."

I don't know what's going to happen. But the Lord does.

May 1st ~

May 1st - Mrs. Carrie's birthday. Nothing.
"We Will Understand It Better By And By". "Farther Along".
Yet will I trust Him - I must trust Him, or my faith will be crippled to such an extent as I must never allow it to be while I am able.
The "Why?" question. They say people always ask, "Why?". I used to pride myself on the fact that I did not. But I haven't been able to honestly say that for a while. I do ask "Why?", though mine is more like, "WHY?!"
Why does He award children to wicked, sensually-minded, selfish, ignorant, unmarried, unashamed sinners, who then thank Him for the gift by throwing it away, when the Godly, pure, humble, faithful, patient husband and wife weep at the death of a miracle, and wait broken-hearted in tentative hope?
I do ask "Why?". I am asking "Why?".
What more could one want in a real man, than Bro. Dennis? And what more is to be desired in a real woman, than Mrs. Carrie?
Are there two people more qualified to be entrusted with the care and raising of a new soul?!
Yet will I trust Him. I MUST trust Him. What right have I not to trust Him? Am I so arrogant to pretend to know better than God Almighty?! To shake my head disbelievingly when the Maker of everything chooses to not follow my plan of proceeding?
No, I don't mean to!
So why do I doubt?
If He is Who I believe He is (and He is) then why do I feel so betrayed? So broken? Why does my hope feel mangled? My dreams mocked?
That old Serpent. Could he be tempted with faith such as what I had, and let it lay peaceful and unchallenged? Now that I think of it, this could be a very real and quite probable answer.
I did have faith. I firmly believed that we would find out today that Bro. Dennis and Mrs. Carrie were going to have a child. My mind even subconsciously envisioned the senario. And as I watched it play out in my mind, my heart would almost stop for joy!
I believed, but it did not happen.
So my belief, or faith, or lack thereof, did not cause the denial of my request.
That means God had it planned a certain way all along (well, of course He did - I'm just thinking/reasoning out loud, trying to sort things out here in my own mind).
And if He had it planned out in such a way as could not line up with mine, I wonder if it hurt Him to go ahead and do it, knowing how it would hurt me.
I'm even envisioning now a senario of finding out some time later this week, that things worked out like I asked for them to, I just didn't find out about it under the timetable I had imagined :) . Wouldn't that be funny? People say God has a sense of humor, and I hope that's not disrespectful, because I'm sure it's true!
But I have no right to expect or even hope for that. He will do things as He wants them done. And that's always the way they should be done. But OH how hard it is sometimes to say, "Not mine, but Thy will be done."

I wonder if the above type of conversation is what the Bible is talking about when it says in Proverbs, "
Ok. Boy! What is He doing?!
I was just about to say how the conversation I've been having here with myself must be what the Bible was talking about in Proverbs when it said to commune with your own heart upon your bed. So I was going to look it up to get the right wording, only it's not Proverbs, it's Psalms!! So I went to search for it in another tab, and when I realized it was Psalms, I searched again for "KJV Psalm 4:4".
The link I clicked on took me to Psalm 37:4 - nothing to do with "Psalm 4:4" except "Psalm" and "4"

"4 Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."

Oh. My. Goodness.

And I just noticed, it doesn't have Psalm 37:4. It has Psalm 37:4-5

"4 Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass."

I don't know what to say right now. I'll come back later. I've got to think. Without trying to type my thoughts at the same time.

May 2nd ~

I'm the last one to bed. It's fairly late. I was feeling all confused and muddled, and my soul was restless and disquieted. I'm not sure what to think about all the input I've been getting, and needed a verse or promise to 'hang on to' amid the confusion.
I sat down on my bed, reached over, and took my Bible from my desk. I opened it to Psalms, and my eyes fell on Ps. 4:1 & 4:

"Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: Thou has enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer. ... Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah."

How appropriate.