Sometimes it's just those little things that mean the most - that make the difference between life and existence, happiness and ho-hum-ness, success and mediocrity.
Little things like a kind word, a smile, or a white carnation.
I used to wonder if I had any impact, any influence on the people around me. Now, you may think, "That's silly! Every person's life affects someone else's!" and yes, that's true. Because of me, my Mom had one more person to cook for, one more batch of laundry to do. My sister had someone to nag her, my dad had another reason to work long hours. But I longed to be a positive influence in someone's life. Sermons and lessons of other types, stressed the fact that 'someone is watching what you do, and then acts accordingly; someone follows your example; someone is influenced by who you are'. But (at least in my own mind) I had no one. No one looked up to me, no one admired me, no one based their decisions on what they thought I would or would not do. Or so I thought. Looking back, I've realized how foolish I was. My sister (though of course we experienced the normal amount of conflict and challenges) adored me, my parents' lives could be made easier or harder depending on how I acted, the Christian clerk or shopper in Wal*Mart could be encouraged by seeing a well-behaved child. Just because I had no 'friends', because my little corner of the world was made up of just a handful of people, meant in no way that I didn't have influence; it just meant my influence was effective on a handful of people instead of a crowd, on my relatives and close relations instead of 'friends' and peers.
All that being said, as life has progressed, the Lord has brought into my life people who, at the time of my life I described above, would have seemed like 'prime targets' for my influence. Perhaps He waited intentionally for me to gain a little wisdom and experience before He 'trusted' me with someone!
At the church we were at before this one, I was a huge influence on the other children, and I knew it. And, I tried to act accordingly. It was a very small church, and I was the oldest of the group that could be considered the 'young people'. Our ages ranged from about 2 to 13. Those little kids looked up to me. Especially one, who I consider my 'adopted' little brother (one of my best friends in the world, despite the almost 10 years difference in our ages). One either Sunday or Wednesday night we were out behind the church playing tag or cowboys-and-indians or some other role-playing game (the kids would all play outside while the adults visited after church). I remember we were walking along beside the church building, deep in some adventure, when out of the blue my young friend asked me (and I quote), "You're like Jesus, aren't you?" It was more of a statement, than a question.
I was young, but I caught a glimpse of the enormity of that question, and answered as best I could, that, well, I wanted to be like Him.
But I realized, perhaps for the first time, what an impact I had on the life of that young person, anyway, if on no one else in the world.
So many times in the years that have passed, as we have both gotten older, I have wanted to ask him what he meant by that question. Like Jesus how? The way I loved the 'children', like He did? The way I unselfishly played endless hours' worth of games with them, even though I was so much older than the rest of the group? The way I tried to live, as an example? What was his little-boy question really wanting to know?
I suppose he probably does not even remember asking. That was so long ago, and any amount of time is automatically made longer in one's mind, the younger they are. And he was very young. But that question has inspired me, encouraged me, and challenged me, all these years.
This past Sunday I was reminded again, tangibly, of the influence I have as a young adult, over the younger children at Victory Rd.. I'm in a hard-to-define, but deffinitly existent, category: Not quite an 'adult', but still very grown up, in their minds, I'm sure (I remember when 6th grade was grown, 17 was the ultimate, and I'm older than that now ;) !). It is the perfect category to be in to have a dramatic influence on the 10-14 age range.
Both of Archer's younger sisters fall into that range.
My whole family loves the whole S. family, and they love us. But the two little sisters are very attentive to what Trissy and I do. Little things, numerous things, that it would take to long to try to record, have built a strange but strong friendship between us.
None of the S. family members have very dramatic personalities, and the youngest, Piper, probably the least of all. When she does something, she doesn't make a big deal about it. When she offers herself, she doesn't explain, but innocently expects you to understand her heart.
For special occasions such as Mother's Day, Father's Day, or Valentines, a group of the church ladies takes 'orders' for carnations. Someone can 'buy' a carnation in honor or in memory of a family member, and the proceeds go to help missions. The carnations then make the flower arrangement for the Sunday morning of the occasion, and that night, everyone gets to take the carnations they ordered home with them Sunday evening after church.
The florist got the order mixed up for us, so the Valentine's carnations weren't ready until just this past Sunday, instead of the Sunday before Valentines.
So, Sunday evening, Trissy and I were out in the foyer area, watching and visiting with various people as we milled about after church, carnations in hand.
Suddenly, Piper was at my elbow.
"Hey Piper!" I said, and reached out to hug her, for though she is so reserved, she always hugs me whenever we meet. But this time, instead of a hug, she had something else.
"This is for you." And she held out a white carnation. It was so sweet and simple and sincere, I almost cried when I realized there was nothing I could say to express how much the gesture meant to me. She turned to Trissy, "And this is for you." and gave her a red one. As we tried to express our thanks, she just smiled her funny little Archer-style smile and without another word, melted back into the crowd of people.
On the way back from church that night, Trissy and I wondered what had made her do it. Had someone had extra flowers, given her some, and she decided to share them? What made her share some with us? Had she 'bought' them for the Valentine's bouquet, specifically for us? Why? Had someone else wanted us to have them, and asked her to deliver them?
But no, I don't think that last one. They were from her. You could tell by the look on her face.
Anyway, her reasons don't really matter. All that matters is that her sweet little heart found something in us that meant something to her, and she wanted to express her love.
I don't think she will ever know what that white carnation means to me.
But if anyone is reading this, DO NOT think you have no influence. No matter who you are, even if you are an invalid who cannot get out of your house, you affect another life. If nothing else, your heart could be right before the Lord, which could cause you to pray for someone, which will accomplish great work in their life. Some of you have an audience of hundreds. Just remember that with great power comes great responsibility.
May the Lord guide and help me as I live before watching young eyes.
Update:
Here is an excellent post by another blogger on this subject.
Little things like a kind word, a smile, or a white carnation.
I used to wonder if I had any impact, any influence on the people around me. Now, you may think, "That's silly! Every person's life affects someone else's!" and yes, that's true. Because of me, my Mom had one more person to cook for, one more batch of laundry to do. My sister had someone to nag her, my dad had another reason to work long hours. But I longed to be a positive influence in someone's life. Sermons and lessons of other types, stressed the fact that 'someone is watching what you do, and then acts accordingly; someone follows your example; someone is influenced by who you are'. But (at least in my own mind) I had no one. No one looked up to me, no one admired me, no one based their decisions on what they thought I would or would not do. Or so I thought. Looking back, I've realized how foolish I was. My sister (though of course we experienced the normal amount of conflict and challenges) adored me, my parents' lives could be made easier or harder depending on how I acted, the Christian clerk or shopper in Wal*Mart could be encouraged by seeing a well-behaved child. Just because I had no 'friends', because my little corner of the world was made up of just a handful of people, meant in no way that I didn't have influence; it just meant my influence was effective on a handful of people instead of a crowd, on my relatives and close relations instead of 'friends' and peers.
All that being said, as life has progressed, the Lord has brought into my life people who, at the time of my life I described above, would have seemed like 'prime targets' for my influence. Perhaps He waited intentionally for me to gain a little wisdom and experience before He 'trusted' me with someone!
At the church we were at before this one, I was a huge influence on the other children, and I knew it. And, I tried to act accordingly. It was a very small church, and I was the oldest of the group that could be considered the 'young people'. Our ages ranged from about 2 to 13. Those little kids looked up to me. Especially one, who I consider my 'adopted' little brother (one of my best friends in the world, despite the almost 10 years difference in our ages). One either Sunday or Wednesday night we were out behind the church playing tag or cowboys-and-indians or some other role-playing game (the kids would all play outside while the adults visited after church). I remember we were walking along beside the church building, deep in some adventure, when out of the blue my young friend asked me (and I quote), "You're like Jesus, aren't you?" It was more of a statement, than a question.
I was young, but I caught a glimpse of the enormity of that question, and answered as best I could, that, well, I wanted to be like Him.
But I realized, perhaps for the first time, what an impact I had on the life of that young person, anyway, if on no one else in the world.
So many times in the years that have passed, as we have both gotten older, I have wanted to ask him what he meant by that question. Like Jesus how? The way I loved the 'children', like He did? The way I unselfishly played endless hours' worth of games with them, even though I was so much older than the rest of the group? The way I tried to live, as an example? What was his little-boy question really wanting to know?
I suppose he probably does not even remember asking. That was so long ago, and any amount of time is automatically made longer in one's mind, the younger they are. And he was very young. But that question has inspired me, encouraged me, and challenged me, all these years.
This past Sunday I was reminded again, tangibly, of the influence I have as a young adult, over the younger children at Victory Rd.. I'm in a hard-to-define, but deffinitly existent, category: Not quite an 'adult', but still very grown up, in their minds, I'm sure (I remember when 6th grade was grown, 17 was the ultimate, and I'm older than that now ;) !). It is the perfect category to be in to have a dramatic influence on the 10-14 age range.
Both of Archer's younger sisters fall into that range.
My whole family loves the whole S. family, and they love us. But the two little sisters are very attentive to what Trissy and I do. Little things, numerous things, that it would take to long to try to record, have built a strange but strong friendship between us.
None of the S. family members have very dramatic personalities, and the youngest, Piper, probably the least of all. When she does something, she doesn't make a big deal about it. When she offers herself, she doesn't explain, but innocently expects you to understand her heart.
For special occasions such as Mother's Day, Father's Day, or Valentines, a group of the church ladies takes 'orders' for carnations. Someone can 'buy' a carnation in honor or in memory of a family member, and the proceeds go to help missions. The carnations then make the flower arrangement for the Sunday morning of the occasion, and that night, everyone gets to take the carnations they ordered home with them Sunday evening after church.
The florist got the order mixed up for us, so the Valentine's carnations weren't ready until just this past Sunday, instead of the Sunday before Valentines.
So, Sunday evening, Trissy and I were out in the foyer area, watching and visiting with various people as we milled about after church, carnations in hand.
Suddenly, Piper was at my elbow.
"Hey Piper!" I said, and reached out to hug her, for though she is so reserved, she always hugs me whenever we meet. But this time, instead of a hug, she had something else.
"This is for you." And she held out a white carnation. It was so sweet and simple and sincere, I almost cried when I realized there was nothing I could say to express how much the gesture meant to me. She turned to Trissy, "And this is for you." and gave her a red one. As we tried to express our thanks, she just smiled her funny little Archer-style smile and without another word, melted back into the crowd of people.
On the way back from church that night, Trissy and I wondered what had made her do it. Had someone had extra flowers, given her some, and she decided to share them? What made her share some with us? Had she 'bought' them for the Valentine's bouquet, specifically for us? Why? Had someone else wanted us to have them, and asked her to deliver them?
But no, I don't think that last one. They were from her. You could tell by the look on her face.
Anyway, her reasons don't really matter. All that matters is that her sweet little heart found something in us that meant something to her, and she wanted to express her love.
I don't think she will ever know what that white carnation means to me.
But if anyone is reading this, DO NOT think you have no influence. No matter who you are, even if you are an invalid who cannot get out of your house, you affect another life. If nothing else, your heart could be right before the Lord, which could cause you to pray for someone, which will accomplish great work in their life. Some of you have an audience of hundreds. Just remember that with great power comes great responsibility.
May the Lord guide and help me as I live before watching young eyes.
Update:
Here is an excellent post by another blogger on this subject.
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