"A Primer In Southern Expressions"

I stumbled onto this article in a local newspaper in 2007 and thought I'd share it here for those interested, since many of my readers are not even American, and certainly not Southern! I've altered a little bit of it to conceal place names, and changed some wording that I felt might be a little confusing to a non-Southerner. My edits are in [ ].

"Hey, y'all, welcome to [the South] !

If you are new to [this state], you might find some of our expressions quaint, or even difficult to understand. Southerners have a colorful way of speaking. We enjoy playing with words and creating funny new expressions.

It's a mistake to think that Southern drawls all sound alike. The way [someone in this state] sounds is very different from the way [someone in another Southern state] sounds, although both states are considered to be in the South.

Accents also vary from one part of a state to another. [This area] is heavily influenced by [a near-by large Southern city].

Southerners say 'ain't' even when we know it's grammatically incorrect. 'Ain't' is often used for effect.

We often drop the 'g' at the end of words. That, too, may be done for effect.

Here are some Southernisms that are popular in this neck of the woods:

Words

-Y'all: Contraction of you all. Use it when you are talking about or to more than one person.
-Catawampus: Crooked or askew.
-Chifforobe: A tall piece of furniture for hanging clothes, like an armoire.
-Coke: Generic term for any soft drink.
-Downright: Very, as in 'He's downright mean.'
-High faluting: Someone who thinks too much of [him or her]self.
-Lollygag: To waste time.
-Plumb: Very, as in 'I'm plumb tuckered out' (tired).
-Pot liquor: Juice left in the pot when greens [or beans or peas] are cooked.
-Tump: A cross between turn over and dump, as in 'Don't tump that over.'
-Yonder: Over there.

Expressions

-Give me some sugar.: [Give me a kiss.]
-Older than dirt.: Really old.
-Knee-high to a grasshopper [or other tiny creature].: Very young, as in 'I've known him since he was knee-high to a grasshopper.'
-That's the pot calling the kettle black.: [Accusing someone of doing the same thing you have; being two-faced or hypocritical.]
-That dog don't hunt.: [That's a lie.]
-Act like you got some raising.: [Be respectable.]
-Go cut me a switch.: Said by a parent to a child when [the child needs a spanking.]
-Dinner on the ground.: A potluck dinner at church.
-Madder than a wet hen.: [Really really mad.]
-Fixing to.: [Getting ready] to, as in 'I'm fixing to go to the store.'

If you want to make friends here, don't make fun of our accents and/or our expressions. We love the way we talk, it's one of the many wonderful things that make Southerners unique.

And just remember, Newcomer, around here, you might be the one with the funny accent."