"I'm Still Yours"

"If You washed away my vanity,
If You took away my words,
If all my world was swept away,
Would You be enough for me?
Would my beating heart still sing?

If I lost it all, would my hands stay lifted
To the God who gives and takes away?
If You take it all, this life You've given,
Still my heart will sing to You.

When my life is not what I expected,
The plans I made have failed,
When there's nothing left to steal me away,
Will You be enough for me?
Will my broken heart still sing?

If I lost it all, would my hands stay lifted
To the God who gives and takes away?
If You take it all, this life You've given,
Still my heart will sing to You.

Even if You take it all away,
You'll never let me go.
You take it all away and I still know
That I'm Yours, I'm still Yours!
Oh, I'm Yours, I'm still Yours!"

I first heard this song about a year and a half ago, as we were getting ready for D-Now at Victory Rd. in March of 2011.
I shuddered to think of all of it being gone, but I forced myself to consider, "If He took it all away, all this He's given me, would I still sing?"
The thought of losing Victory Rd. and all it meant to me and all I'd learned from the experiences and all the precious people was absolutely heart-breaking. Yet as the weeks passed and I considered and looked deep into my own heart, I prayed that if for some reason He chose to take it all away from me, that He would make Himself be enough for me. That I would still sing. That I would still praise Him. That, like the dear man Job in the Bible, I would have the spiritual strength to say, 'The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.'

Strange how life works; and yet, not so strange, for though His ways are above our ways - insofar that we can't even hope to understand them - yet if we read and believe the Bible, we know that He is quite literally in control. And perhaps in that song, He was not only preparing me for what might be, but for what would be. For now at the time of this writing, so much of what I had then is gone. Or at least it's certainly not like it was before.
And since that time in March over a year ago, He has heaped new blessings on me that I could have only hoped and prayed for and dreamed about then.
So the question is perpetually a new one, and I think He asked me again this week: If all my world was swept away, would He be enough for me? If I lost it all, would my hands stay lifted to the God who gives and takes away? If He took it all, this life He's given me, would my heart still sing to Him?

I'd still be His.

"5 Small Things Friday" No. 52

Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".

For this week, here is my list:

1. Sight: Peppers And Persimmons On The Counter

2. Hearing: Mennonite Congregation Singing "I Love You Lord" A Cappella

3. Smell: My Mint Growing / Trissy's Oatmeal

4. Taste: Cookies And Cream Ice Cream

5. Touch: Hug From Law

Experience: Witnessing to a co-worker.

The stories behind the list:

1. A neighbor friend gave us some peppers and persimmons this week and when I came in from work, Mom and Trissy had them out on the counter. The fall colors were so wonderful together - red and deep green and pale green of the bell peppers and banana peppers, bright orange of the persimmons, and the dark blue counter top.

2. Trissy was listening to a set of live sermons by a Mennonite pastor while she ironed clothes the other day. At one point the congregation sang the old song "I Love You Lord" a cappella - SO beautiful!

3. I have struggled to grow mint (and other herbs) for some time, with varying degrees of failure. The only thing that I have been what you could call 'successful' with, has been mint. A friend gave me some small plants from her garden a couple of years ago, but, long story short, I inadvertently killed them. But last year Mrs. H., my college instructor, gave me some more, and I put them out in one of our garden beds by our sliding patio door. Saturday I was pulling some weeds from that bed, and was pleasantly surprised to find that the mint has really seemed to thrive there. The plants are multiplying nicely, and the fragrance came up to greet me as I pulled weeds from around them.  I have high hopes for my future in mint now ;) !
/
Sunday morning Trissy made herself a bowl of oatmeal. Now, that may sound simple enough, but you don't know Trissy and her love of and obsession with creating *ahem* new recipes. It wasn't simply a 'bowl of oatmeal'. It was a concoction. An adventure. An experiment. A masterpiece. And it smelled amazing.
It was the strangest sensation, but it reminded me of fall, Christmas, Victory Rd., people I love, rain, reading, adventure, Narnia, and a whole mixture of many of my other passions and loves all rolled into one unbearably wonderful smell. I can't explain it. It was so strange! But I made her write down as close as she could remember, how she made it!

4. I only eat sugary desserts every other day. And since I've been working at a fast-food place for two weeks, I've eaten even less. So a little bowl of cookies-and-cream ice cream when I got to the house after work Wednesday was very enjoyable!

5. There is a long story behind this one. A story very close to my heart because of how the Lord has used it to grow me in my walk with Him, and because of the dear people involved in it. Maybe you remember me talking about Law on this blog before, and my great concern and hope for this precious young man. Well, long story short, the Lord used me to encourage him this past week, and Sunday he gave me a hug. Law doesn't just give hugs.
Note: I am working on a blog post telling the story.

Experience: Yesterday at work I got to witness to one of my co-workers at the fast-food place. She was very open, and seemed to appreciate me trying to help her. Please pray for her. Her name is Toby.


Note: Technically, this post marks one year of "5 Small Things Friday", though I plan to post one more so the dates are closer to a year.
I have created a post every week (except one, I believe, so that week's was late), though some of them have not yet been published. I hope to finish editing them and publish them.
My dilemma is this: Should I go on with the "5 Small Things Friday" posts? If you have an opinion, please vote on the sidebar at the top-right of the blog.

S.O.A.P. Journaling - Philippians 1:12-26

Date: Sept. 11 and 12, 2012
Passage: Philippians 1:12-26

Scripture:
"But I would ye should understand, brethren, that the things which happened unto me have fallen out rather unto the furtherance of the gospel;" verse 12

Observation:
As far as I can tell, and have been told, the apostle Paul was in prison at the time of this writing. He was chained 24/7 to a guard. He'd had pretty much everything taken from him: His freedom, his church, his possessions, and even many of his friends. He'd been through torture, beatings, sickness, and numerous other hardships. Yet throughout the book of Philippians, the themes of joy and rejoicing come up over and over. And he's not just joyful, but he's encouraging others to be joyful as well.

Application:
Oh how I need my joy back! There is such heartache in the church right now. Oh how we need our joy back! Yes there are happy times, times when we are thankful and feel so blessed, times when it is brought clear and bright to our eyes what our purpose and mission is. But more often than not it seems lately, we are being attacked with waves of discouragement and sadness so overwhelming they threaten to sweep us from our moorings. There is a difference between happiness and joy. We are creatures of emotion. Happiness lasts as long as conditions seem favorable and upbeat and cheerful. Joy is an anchor, a promise, a hope in the Power we have that will never fail. I think we may have lost sight of that Power. He is still there - He never leaves. But perhaps in the struggles and smoke of battle our view has become clouded, and our eyes are seeing only the losses, the wounds, and the power of the enemy, instead of our valiant Commander desiring to lead us on to victory.

Prayer:
"God give us back our Joy in You! We are so discouraged right now. And yet, there are those who are hoping, who will not let the sadness overrun them. I want to be one of them. I try to be one of them! Encourage those hearts. Strengthen us all. Help us to look to Your spirit for our strength and joy and courage and stamina. Help us to rely on prayer - our most powerful resource - and to encourage each other, instead of letting our sadness spread like a disease. Thank You that You have everything under control. Help us look at this from Your perspective, and thereby have our confidence and courage renewed. Bring us out of this dim time stronger than we ever would have been had we only been faced with ease and plenty. Cause the things that have happened to us, to me, to turn out for the furtherance of Your Gospel. Thank You for Your love. In Your Son Jesus' name, Amen."

"5 Small Things Friday" No. 50

Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".

For this week, here is my list:

1. Sight: Abigail Laughing Sunday Morning / Elephant Text From Trissy

2. Hearing: Mom Greeting Our Cats

3. Smell: Hobby Lobby

4. Taste: Crackers With Lunchmeat And Melted Cheese

5. Touch:

The stories behind the list:

1. Sunday morning as I was singing in the choir, I got tickled at someone in the congregation. They were enjoying singing, and their head was bobbing in time to the cadence of the hymn, but it was more of a wobble than a bob, and something about it struck me funny. I must have been laughing as we sang - as my gaze moved across the congregation, Abigail caught my eye and gave me an I-see-you-laughing-up-there-enjoying-some-good-joke look. Her mouth had a quirk at each corner, and her eyes sparkled mischievously, and it made me start laughing again. I quickly looked away at another area of the auditorium, but the S. family sits right in the middle, so my eyes naturally kept moving across them. But every time I looked at Abigail, we would both start chuckling again, and I finally had to look up at a high place on the back wall to keep from seeing her and continuing to laugh in the choir and look ridiculous!
/
So Trissy randomly sends me this text yesterday:



Do you see it? It made my day!

2. Monday morning as I was getting ready for the day, I heard Mom at the back door, opening it for something, I'm not sure what. But our three cats were at the door waiting to be fed, and I heard Mom greet them with something like, "Well good morning kids! How are you this morning? Yeah, I know, Trissy's coming to feed you. Just a minute." It was so funny and so nice, it just made me smile!

3. We went to Hobby Lobby briefly the other day to get a frame for a pen-and-ink I did of the White Carnation. The smell of that store is like Fall, Christmas, and craft supplies all combined.

4. We had a handful of crackers, cheese slices, and lunchmeat rolls that we'd saved from helping clean up after a wedding Saturday, and Trissy had been eating them for lunch. There were just a couple left, so she saved some for me. I put a slice of ham on each cracker, with a slice of Cheddar or Swiss cheese on top of that, and warmed it in the microwave for a few seconds so that the ham was sizzling and the cheese was melted over the top. Talk about yummy.

5.

"5 Small Things Friday" No. 49

Go back and read this post for the story behind "Five Small Things Friday".

For this week, here is my list:

1. Sight: Bright Blue, Orange, And Green

2. Hearing: Justice's Admonitions

3. Smell: Our House / Starch

4. Taste: Hot Ham And Cheese Sandwich With Lettuce And Tomato

5. Touch:

The stories behind the list:

1. I think Trissy had been unloading the dishwasher, 'cause I came in from work at the academy and there was a royal blue plastic juice glass, a bright orange plastic juice glass, and a lime green plastic lid on the cabinet. The colors were stunning together!

2. On Wednesday nights before the music group gets up to lead, we (the members of the group) go to another classroom and have prayer. This week Justice asked if he could join and speak to us, then be the one to pray. He's been so burdened for the youth group lately, and he reminded us that we do not do anything except to give God glory. When we play our instruments, when he gives the lesson, all is to be done with a heart of humility and desire to glorify the One we worship. If He is not with us, all is vain. The children of Israel despaired because the glory of God departed from them for a time - because God had hidden His face from them. We must beg the Lord to shine His face upon us, to not take away His light from our efforts, but to give us His blessing and help us honor Him.
It was so good. What he said were all things we knew, but we had needed reminding.

3. Trissy and I came in from a wedding rehearsal we were playing the piano for on Friday evening and Mom had the front light on for us. When we opened the front door, the smell that washed out to meet us was so pleasant and soothing. It was like the smells of a candle shop, a hotel, a bookstore, and a furniture store all at once!
/
I was ironing a shirt for Dad Saturday and Mom had me starch it too. The smell of starch is so wholesome and nice.

4. A hot ham and cheese sandwich with lettuce and tomato. 'Nuff said.

5.