Being A Servant When It's Not 'Fun'

Today marks one month since The Grandmother fell. Thankfully, she did not break any bones, but she did get pretty bruised up, and was in such pain that she had to stay in her easy-chair for about the first two-and-a-half weeks. Before she fell, she and The Grandfather did quite well living on their own. The Grandfather is handicapped, due to his feet being frozen in World War II, and almost completely dependent. The Grandmother was quite spry and able to care for both of them, with periodical help throughout any given week. But since she's been "out of commission", they have both been completely dependent, and the four of us (Dad, Mom, Trissy, and me) have pretty much been living here with them for the past four weeks.

It has been wonderful to get to spend time together, with great opportunities to help and serve. But, I must admit, it has been very difficult at times. I think I have come to respect my parents during this time, perhaps more than at any other time in my life. For one thing, I'm older and can understand implications that I could not when I was younger and life just 'happened', without me considering all that it takes to make the world go 'round! For another thing, the old saying, "Actions speak louder than words" is so, so true. I have seen my parents demonstrate selflessness, love, patience, respect, service, and humility toward my Grandparents consistently through these past few weeks. There have been many unpleasant tasks that had to be done, late hours that had to be kept. Meals are 'involved', requiring consideration for specialized servings and preparation. Mornings are an ordeal, getting each one prepared for the day, and evenings are even more difficult, reversing the process, plus other things that must be done to prepare for the night. Little tasks that healthy people don't even think about, from getting dressed and brushing teeth, to eating solid foods and moving from one room to the next, are major undertakings. But Dad and Mom have done it all, without complaining. I did not say, without weariness, without struggle. But neither one of them have wished out loud that they didn't have to do some difficult task, have snapped back at an impatient moment, or have acted like they were feeling sorry for themselves or that they thought others should be feeling sorry for them. Sweet Trissy has been the same way. Their example has really been a challenge to me when I've felt like sighing, snapping, or feeling sorry for myself.

Often, in the last couple of weeks especially, I have just wanted to go back to our house again – to clean my room, to work in the yard, to get into some craft projects, to get back our routine, for things to get ‘back to normal’.

But what bothers me most, is that I am able to stay calm and even gracious during hectic times at work, or how I look forward to service and ministry opportunities on church trips or work days, but I have such a hard time keeping a cheerful spirit when it comes to serving my own family. That's not right, but I don't know exactly what to do about it - it's just one of the difficult 'facts about me' that I deal with. I'm praying the Lord will show me how to reconcile the two, and then help me implement the answer.

I keep reminding myself of the principles in the Bible, that being a servant is the most glorified position in Scripture, that 'giving' is more blessed than 'receiving', and that whoever would be first, must first be last. But, humanly speaking, it's still difficult.

A dear friend said about a year ago to someone else, in my presence, "Kyrie's like the Energizer Bunny - could go on all day." Another dear friend used me as an example, only about a month ago, of how a Christian should be - someone who's cheerful and smiling, and I heard about it.
Several times in the last few days/weeks, those two things have been what's kept me going. The thought of 'letting down' those two precious people, in a way, even though they wouldn't find out, spurred me on and gave me determination to not give in to the impatience, drudgery, or exhaustion. Or being bone-tired and remembering those comments, and thinking, "But I'm not, I'm not - I'm weak!", and asking the Lord to help me live up to what they think of me.

And today, I was so irritated, just wanting to get outside in the fresh air and sunshine for a little while, thinking, 'I'm worn out; I am absolutely physically exhausted.' Suddenly this verse blew into my thoughts like a fresh breeze:

"My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever." Ps. 73:26

The point remains, being a servant isn't always 'fun'. It's not always glamorous. There aren't always going to be friends to goof off with to make the time pass while sharing the work. There won't always be an 'audience', even a small one, to bestow a pat on the back and say, "You're doing such a great job!" Being a servant isn't always 'fun'; but it's right.

Thank You, Lord.

Note: Uncle Alvin's were down for a visit, and Jaylyn, Jewel, their oldest sister's oldest son, Trissy, and I all got to spend the afternoon outside, working in the garden, playing a little basketball, petting our new kittens, bicycle riding, and playing "Cranium" in The Grandparents' front yard. It was wonderful!