My dream of the night of March 26, 2011 ~
I dreamed I was at church. At least, I believe it was church - there were church people around, and Bro. Earl was greeting us/them like he does at the end of the service on Sunday morning.
But it wasn’t Victory Rd.'s building. After bantering with Bro. Earl for a time, I began to wander it. It was enormous. Huge. Gigantic. Never-ending; and that is not an exaggeration. The building was literally an endless maze of wide carpeted halls and rooms (some with doors, others with large open door-ways), sudden corners and dead ends, and elevators that scaled innumerable floors, and opened randomly on any particular level. The color of the carpet was a shade like dark Rose and pale Maroon combined. This same carpet was everywhere, except in one set of rooms which I will tell about later. The smooth walls were smoke gray, just shy of blue.
There were no furnishings or anything to break the monotony in the huge endless hallways, except I remember a bench against one wall at some undefined point. There was a sort of expanded area that a hall passed through, and in it was a concrete pool, much like my mom's cousin's rectangle cattle watering trough up at my grandfather's brother's place. This trough was full of water, but the water was stale and stagnant. You didn’t realize to look at it - it looked clear and clean. You could only tell by things that had been in the water for a while. There were objects shaped like eggs on the bottom, and they all had a slimy, greenish hue. The little daughter of VRCA's assistant administrator and another little girl (in my dream I knew her, but the next morning I couldn't remember who she had been) were playing around the trough, looking at the water, and feeling sorry for a large cricket who had had the misfortune of jumping into the trough. He was swimming sluggishly around on the surface, covered in green stagnant-ness. I fished him out and set him out in the room, but in trying to leave, he jumped again into the pool. Instead of fishing him out again, I left the two little girl's to rescue him. As I exited the way I had come, the assistant administrator was coming from the hall at the other side of this area. I was aware of an undefined fear or seriousness in the air.
This whole episode was my first inkling of the sinister meanings the dream was to contain.
I began hurrying, trying to escape from something, but what, I didn’t know.
As the dream progressed, and I continued to roam the halls, I became aware of the source of danger. Robots programmed to seek out and capture Christians were patrolling throughout the building. If you rounded a corner and there was one (or a group) in the hallway ahead, they would be after you in a second. They only went after the Christians; no one else.
I learned to jump, just as they came close behind me. The big ones were structured like humans, and were tall, but they couldn’t jump, and they could only reach so high. So if you jumped high enough, even if they were right under you, you could keep away for a few more moments. You just had to hope your jump was not only high, but far, so that when you came down, you would still be ahead of them.
Many times, I found myself running in a group of a few other Victory Rd. people. Once, it was me, Andrea, and a couple others, though I don't remember who they were. There was a pack of the robots behind us. Andrea began to fall back, and I suppose my dream was subconsciously thinking of her bad ankle. We urged her on, on, not to let up! But she couldn't keep going, and she fell behind until they caught her. They were like a pack of wolves – they all stop to 'commotion' over the one victim, forgetting the others who are escaping. We ran on, with only a partial glance backward. But somehow it was alright. Many times in my dreams, most of the communication is done without words - you just know. This dream was full of those times, and this was one of them. We knew we could not help her if we stopped - there were too many of them, and they were too strong. We also knew that she (and all those this same thing happened to) did not want us to stop, but to keep going, to save ourselves, to try to get away from this place, and keep spreading the Gospel. That’s what the mastermind behind this whole cruel scheme wanted - to destroy us all so that Christianity would end inside the blank walls of this carpeted endless maze.
I was the last one of the group, and as the distance grew between us and her, and we rounded a corner at the end of the hall, I looked back and we called to each other, “Goodbye! See you in the Morning!”
Even as I type, the tears come.
And yet, it wasn’t so sad as it seems here in this world. There was an urgency to get away, but there was no shrinking from the fate when it came. Our mindsets in my dream were different from what they are here, in real life. The ideas we know to be true here, were felt and responded to literally, there. Here, we know that, as believers in Christ, we need not fear death. We know we will see each other again. We know there is nothing so worth keeping, in this world, that we would shrink from leaving it, to go to the next. We know it, yet still we hesitate.
But there we felt, believed, and lived it without any mental restrictions or hesitation whatsoever. It was like it would be if our mindsets were completely literal - if belief were action.
The dream was broken up into episodes, and I found myself fading from one to the other, and the in-between parts filled with running from robots. I believe it was the next 'episode' where I met the cruel fiend who's twisted mind created this intricate plan of search-and-destroy.
I don’t remember exactly how it came about, but I ended up as a companion to a young woman who was soon to be married. We never spoke a word to each other throughout the whole of our time together, so I don’t know how I knew this (and other things about the situation), but I just knew.
We were traveling the halls, me following her, and I sensed that she was resignedly dreading her upcoming marriage. I also knew (and I don’t remember how I found this out, if it was another one of those things I just 'knew', or if I actually 'found out' at some point that I don't remember, perhaps I even met him, but don’t recall it) that the man she was to marry was considerably older than she. Considerably, as in something like 65 to 21.
She led us to the apartments of the man who was to become her husband. This set of rooms were the only ones, through the whole of my time in that huge place, that I encountered that were furnished or anything other than the bare walls, short carpet, and occasional other features of variation. As we entered, the door was just like the many that lined the vast halls, but this one led into the end of an immediately-left-turning, narrow, and short hallway-type passage, just wide enough for one person to walk comfortably down, with a long narrow table against the wall on the left. This hallway was dark but short, and the light from the room at the other end, and the door we'd just entered, was sufficient to see by. The floor of the hall was of slate or shale, charcoal colored. The walls were dark taupe, and sheet rock instead of block. The narrow table on our left, against the wall, was of plywood on two-by-four legs, and cluttered with various wood and metal scraps and items of suspicious appearance.
We came to the end of this short hallway (about ten or twelve feet in length), and turned abruptly to the right where it ran into the room at the end.
This room, though small (it doubled back against the other side of the wall that formed the hall), was glowing warm and rich from a single lamp, plump luxurious couches of gold cloth with expensive embroidery, and an exotic rug on the cold floor. At the far end was a shadowed alcove that the light of the lamp could not effectively penetrate. This alcove contained a large and luxurious bed, possibly a desk or small table, but most certainly an individual who I recognized as the fiend - I will not give him the dignity of being called a man, even though a dream - that was preparing to force the 'marriage' of this young woman to himself, and who at that instant I realized was the instigator of all our persecutions and heartbreaks. He was seated Indian-style on the end of the bed, facing the head. He had papers on the bed in front of him that I believe had been taken from a desk or table against the wall, slightly behind and to his right. He completely ignored us, knowing full well that we were in his total power. He was laughing in an exquisitely repulsive and chilling fashion, picking up papers, regarding them for a moment, then increasing his hideous laughter to an almost ludicrous pitch and tone. The sad young bride-to-be paid no heed, turning with tired resignation to one of the couches as if longing for rest, yet having not the luxury, and I came to the impression that she had ceased to feel or fight long ago. Or perhaps, not so long ago, but ages past. There were two henchmen also in the room, standing over us threateningly, as if daring us to fight or try to run.
We didn’t bother - it would have been totally useless, at that point.
Right after that the scene faded out, the girl, the room, and the ugly monster/mastermind disappeared. I didn’t leave her willingly, but in the dream, I was simply phased out of that situation, and 'reappeared' out in the halls again.
I believe it was next that I found myself in a room with the S. family (or at least some of them) and a few others, who's identity I don't remember. The only light in the room came from the open doorway. It was a big, open room, and the light flooded into this front part where we were, while the end of the room was in shadowed darkness. Piper was there I know, sad but strong. In my dream, they had another brother, older than Piper but younger than Abigail, who was really having a hard time, weeping because of what he knew was coming. I know Abigail was there, but I don’t remember taking exact note on how she was handling the situation. I think Archer had sortof been combined into Law, who wasn’t in the room at first. I was the oldest one there - responsible for keeping spirits up, while at the same time preparing us to say goodbye to each other. Someone said Law had been sent for. Evidently he was pretty much grown now, and had a farm somewhere. We waited for him to arrive to take the leadership of this group, and to comfort the younger brother.
When he walked in, at first I thought it was Archer (I think my dream kindof combined the two of them), but it was definitely Law. Though, being a grown young man and a hard-working farmer, he was taller and stronger than when I had last seen him. He was wearing a white t-shirt, dark beige work pants, muddy work boots, and a wide-brimmed hat which he took off when he came in the room. He was calm, resolved, and his face was peaceful while his eyes were sad, like Piper's. He immediately went to the younger brother, who rushed to his arms for comfort.
At this point, the younger brother's senses and mine became the same for a little while, and I knew and felt what he did.
He felt Law's heart beating against the side of his face, felt his arms holding tight, and hugged back with all his might until he was strengthened by the calm and assurance of his brother.
My heart was so glad. Physically, Law was fit and strong. Spiritually, he was stronger still.
Since Law was there to lead the little group, I had to move on. We said goodbye, sad, but not despairing – it was a sort of sweet sadness. We knew we would not see each other again, physically.
I went back out, running, again. Why, I didn't know exactly, but to get 'there' faster. To get away from what might be behind, chasing me; yet perhaps only rushing headlong into an enemy nest around the next sharp corner. Not knowing if that elevator door opening up ahead would provide a momentary asylum and chance to find the 'outside', or spill a swarm of mechanical fiendish servants to surround me. I just ran. Occasionally I would see someone I knew. Usually alone; sometimes in pairs and, rarely, in threes or fours. If we only could have all found each other at the same time and joined together, for comfort and exhortation, if not for defense! But we all had to run. If we stopped, we were sure to be captured. And as I've stated before (I don't believe I can impress it enough) the building was enormous. So we rarely saw each other. But even if we could have banded together into an army, there were more (number-wise) on the other side, and flesh-and-blood has not even a hope of defeating a mechanical, never-tiring, never-wounded enemy. So we ran. Not from death exactly, for though that fate was sure to be a tortuous one, if we were caught we submitted almost indifferently (certainly calmly), knowing it would be completely futile to resist (there was absolutely no hope for physical help or rescue), and there was the glory - to die bravely, honorably, innocently, a trophy of battle for the Christ who would set the spirit free. We did not fear - we were going Home!
So I suppose the only reason we ran was because of the slight hope of finding the door to the outside, getting away, and being the 'seed' to be planted and raise up 'next year's crop, so to speak. For if we all were to die, where would the next Christians come from?
I don't remember how the dream ended, or if it even had an 'official' ending. The last thing I remember, is running down a hallway.
When I woke up the next morning, for the first split second or two, I had the feeling of waking from an adventure, a sweet fellowship with dear friends. Then, it flooded back - the sadness of separation, desertion, and sweet young lives cut short - and my here-and-now emotions and mindset kicked in. I began to weep for the horror and cruelty and waste of it all. Every time I would think of “Goodbye! I’ll see you in the Morning!”, I'd have to bury my face in my pillow to keep the sobs from drawing the attention of others in the house.
But I got to thinking, it really wasn't all that sad. It wasn't wasteful.
If we are going to see each other again - and when we do, live forever, FOREVER, together with no painful separations, busy distractions, or limitations of physical frailty - why does it strike us as being sad?
If the Lord decided it was time for so-and-so to come Home, it's not wasteful at all – no matter how young and fresh and alive they were.
If our mindsets were like they were in the dream, we would know these things, and we would live - think, feel, believe - like it. It would be deep inside of us. Not just something we 'know', and 'believe', and 'trust' in. We would KNOW it. We would BELIEVE it. And we would be TRULY satisfied, content, and comforted.
So though it was a hard dream, in some ways it was actually a happy dream. It was a win-win situation - for us. Those of us who were going on, we'd get there sooner! Those who got away and were staying behind, we'd avoid the physical discomfort of the passage - at least for now - and be privileged to continue the work of spreading the Word of Christ.
And eventually, we'd all be together again.
"Everything that exists in the world, including each life, is really only a pattern of light and darkness." -Anon.
~:~~:~~:~~:~~:~~:~~:~~:~~:~~:~~:~~:~~:~~:~~:~
All names on this blog (except for other Bloggers' names) have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals. However, each pseudonym has been chosen with care, and reflects in some way or with some meaning the character/personality of each individual.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment