Can't sleep, it's past 1:00 A.M., so here is a by-no-means-exhaustive 'About Me' list:
{Later Note: I in no way intended this to be a 'rant' post. I was awake in the middle of the night, and for some reason, facts about myself began rolling through my head, and I decided to write them down. Then I decided to share them. Maybe that was a bad idea, maybe not. But let me make the disclaimer that I am human and subject to flaws! In my list, I freely admit some of them. I am certainly not always right; I'm simply stating how I am. I also mention ways that other people bug me. Please just take me at face value, appreciate my decision to be open, and forgive my midnight eccentricities.}
-The warning, "Don't tell me I can't - I will die trying," is very nearly true for me.
-It is extremely difficult for me to walk away from a challenge.
-If someone, something, or some cause I love is disrespected, criticized, misrepresented, or made fun of, I immediately feel an intense anger, closely bordering on hatred, toward the perpetrator.
-I am fiercely loyal. To people I love, and to causes I believe in.
-However, if an idea is proven false, or a cause is proven unworthy, I will not hesitate to abandon it.
-I am a person of extremes or opposites; I am either 'all in', or 'all out', 'black' or 'white'. I have very few 'gray' areas.
-I don't like to clean; I love to organize.
-I am easily overwhelmed by perceived difficulties, yet do not accept (in fact tenaciously resist) defeat. One of my least favorite phrases is, "give up".
-I am an undeniable realist, and an indomitable optimist.
-I am easily injured (even if the inflicted pain was not necessarily intentional), especially by people I love, respect, or trust, but am also tough and largely immune to others' opinions of me (I sincerely do my best to do what is right - I try to please the Lord, not people. In pleasing the Lord, I hope Godly people will also be pleased!).
-I love easily; I do not trust easily.
-Some of the people groups I am most drawn to are teenagers and folks from India, Russia, Scotland, Brazil, and New Zealand.
-I am not always right with first impressions, but not often wrong.
-I love to meet honest eyes, a genuine smile, and a firm handshake.
-Christian families with lots of children make me deeply happy.
-Physically unattractive people who are outgoing and confident dispite their looks (or lack thereof) refresh and encourage me.
-Purity,
beauty,
chivalry,
meaning, and
victory delight and rest me.
-The happiest years of my life (to date) were 2010 and 2011.
-One of my greatest sources of enjoyment is to give a gift, whether a tangible item or a deed, to someone I love or respect that gives them a true blessing and/or real pleasure.
-I am primarily an introvert.
-I need lots of sleep (like, 9-10 hours/night. Yeah. I'm writing at 2:00 A.M. I don't know.) or the next day is a battle to keep the bad headache and the snappy grouch at bay.
-My two greatest fears are betraying another's trust, and receiving physical violence.
-When I am very happy or sad about something, I passionately talk about it/obsess over it for a while, then slowly put it away when I sense that it's beginning to get old for the people around me; but I don't forget it.
When I am a-step-above-very happy or sad about something, or when I am particularly moved or awed, my emotion seems to rise to such a pitch that it cannot be expressed, and so I become extremely calm and my body gets very still and quiet, except maybe for a smile (kindof like a fuse box that is overloaded until it can't take anymore energy, so a breaker flips and the whole chunk just stops, I guess). I never talk about those moments.
-Similarly, I am enthusiastic, passionate, and vocal, but rarely, if ever, reveal the deepest parts of my feelings about the subject.
-Often for me, "a smiling face hides a crying heart".
-I can put on a good bluff, for a while; then there comes a point where the pressure must be released. Yeah... I always hope I'm alone when that happens.
-My word is of extreme importance to me. I will rarely tell someone, "I will..." do something (there are always unforeseen variables that could/might prevent me from keeping my word. Instead, I tell people, "I will try to...," or "I will do my best to...," and then I do.).
-Implications, hints, messages 'between the lines', outright lies, 'beating around the bush', 'grayed', 'stretched', or 'twisted' truth are confusing, discouraging, and angering to me. I am bold (sometimes blunt - a fault that needs softening in me), upfront, and honest, and naively expect others to be as well.
-I try to keep my mouth shut if I'm not invited to open it, but if you ask me what I think, I will tell you; don't ask me for my opinion, unless you want it.
-I am very practical, literal, and logical; for me, things must have a good reason, a point, a significance, a means to an end, and that end must be worthy of the time, resources, and attention it is getting.
-Surface relationships and/or conversations typically bore and sometimes irritate me (for example, two friends are discussing their favorite animae characters, and I'm thinking, 'How is this going to matter twenty years from now? Five years from now? A week from now? Now?'). Others' obsessions over trivial, petty themes, fads, subjects, or hobbies tends to disgust me to the point of unkindness (another of the many faults I am trying to conquer: insensitivity).
-I am indescribably frustrated by others' holdings to incorrect opinions or beliefs, trivial as well as significant (as varied as 'how a particular word is pronounced', 'what year a certain event happened', 'to what extreme Christians should take modesty', or 'whether Jesus Christ is the only way to Heaven'). I have an itching, demanding desire to change their minds; not for the sake of proving I am right, but for their sake of becoming right, and for right's sake of being correctly interpreted.
-Open, honest, deep, meaningful, respectful discussion or debate excites and fulfills me. Even if neither side is 'won over'; as long as the conversation is for the friendly purpose of sharing ideas and encouraging growth, I find it extremely enjoyable.
-On the other hand, I hate antagonism and confrontation.
-I am infuriated by 'Christians' who aren't (people who claim to know and love Christ but then don't live like it - doing, saying, and thinking deeds, words, and thoughts that either are clearly spoken against by the Bible, or are fundamentally contrary to the principles of true Christianity).
{Later Note: I'm not hating on anyone. I just ask that, if you are not going to act like a Christian, don't tell anyone you are one - it make's it so much harder for those who are sincerely trying to live what they say they believe about Christianity}.
-Gossip disgusts me.
-Assumption-makers and uninformed critics anger me.
-The foibles that most often irritate me in others are usually strikingly similar to my own biggest faults (disrespect, insensitivity, a quick temper, discontentment/unthankfulness, short-sightedness, trivial pursuits, laziness, selfishness, inconsistence, etc. etc.). With Christ's good help, these are being pointed out to me, and we are working together to eradicate them.
Well, now that that's out of my system somewhat, I'll go back to bed and see if sleep will come. Good night, and
Soli Deo Gloria!
-Kyrie<><
